Do you consider women who use sex appeal for gain as predatory or disgusting?

HollowLegMonk · 2020-06-22T09:08:26+00:00

First off

use their power, fame or fortune to get sex as predatory

Power yes, fame/fortune no. And because power is next to fame and fortune, I'm guessing that we are talking about a different type of power.

The older man and younger woman

We consider this predatory, not because the older guy is older, but because the younger woman isn't old enough to withstand adult manipulations.

It's like, there was a question on a different sub. About a girl who was 15 and she got propositioned for sex at her job by the father of the business owner. Someone who was +40. And her response was to hide away and not tell her employers anything and basically ghosting them.

And we'd call that a really childish thing to do, if she was an adult. But she's 15, so it's ok to run and hide.

And the moment 18 hits, people aren't done cooking yet. You've still got 18y olds whose response is to hide. And even if they've moved past that, they are NOT a match for an adult who knows exactly what they can and can't do because they've had to do that for years. They're still dipping their toes into the water of adulthood, they don't know half the stuff we adults do.

And from a certain level of adulthood, that doesn't matter anymore. I personally put the line at 23 or 1-2 years of living alone and paying your own bills or certain severe life circumstances that make you grow up. As soon as the young people are capable of being independent and assertive like an adult, the age difference doesn't matter anymore.

But we don't want adults with these young people who don't yet know how to defend themselves against adult manipulation.

And this maybe answers your broader question? We don't mind you using your gains to get sex. Just don't use it on too young people? And I personally wouldn't even mind it if you used it on young people if we could legally force you to abide by campsite rules: leave the younger person in better shape then you left them. Because there are some good things you could teach them as an older person. But we can't enforce that: so please stay away.

Pola_Lita · 2020-06-22T06:19:29+00:00

But are you also as disgusted in women who use their sex appeal to get free drinks, acquire fame, climb the corporate ladder, get meals on dates etc? If not don’t you believe that using these tactics to get things perpetuate the idea that an exchange of goods for sex is normal?

I think it's disgusting, and I believe a LOT of other women do too. It doesn't even have to be to gain something specific, just the intention itself is irritating. The amazing thing though, is how many men will tell us we're "just jealous". Can't win.

NarniaFox · 2020-06-22T06:16:15+00:00

You're listing pretty different things here.

I'm okay with women getting "free meals/drinks", although I do think that one should pay for themselves. But if a guy wants to buy her a meal/drink, he's free to do so.

I'm against using sex appeal for your career though, if you don't do something that is somehow linked to your sexuality. Mostly because it isn't fair and it also harms other women. We've been trying to prove that we can do things outside of marriage and sex for a few centuries and using your sexual appeal for career advantage is kind of backwards of it. So I don't respect women who this. I also don't respect men who buy and encourage it.

kwalden2 · 2020-06-22T07:05:18+00:00

Is consent informed with good faith? If no, predarory.

Are threats made? If yes, predatory.

In business situation, does the business model improve from choices made (regardless of sex)? If yes, predatory.

Regarding your specific question, predatory behavior is an attractive woman taking a job she isn't qualified for. Predatory behavior is an attractive woman encouraging a man to buy her things when she has no intention of reciprocating the gesture in any way. Predatory behavior is not accepting a drink already purchased by a man at the bar who just wants to shoot his shot, in my opinion. Intentions matter here. Soecifif details matter here.

Attractive women don't udually acquire fame through predation- fame really tends to chase attractive women without any push. The decision to feature attractive women is often purely a good business decision.

GreenSatyr · 2020-06-22T13:21:53+00:00

I see it as predatory and disgusting to use power to gain sex. Using sex to gain power isn't always a problem (though it can be in some contexts. It depends on whether the power you have gained is inappropriate for you to have. E.g. becoming a celeb seems fine.)

Men tend to do the former and women tend to do the latter (as illustrated by the specific examples provided by you) which is why I wouldn't frown as much upon the things women do. I think society as a whole frowns plenty though.

In the corporate case, I'd criticize the company culture and the people in power who give favoritism based on sex that way, not the individual who used sex to climb.

Using people for meals and free drinks, assuming you aren't actually needing food and it's just an ego boost...idk. I guess I am supposed to mildly disapprove of this but I don't think I care enough to work up moral outrage over it.

flamingoinghome · 2020-06-22T15:06:13+00:00

I can't imagine seeing a celebrity who hooks up with (of age) fans as predatory? Unless the fans are heavily intoxicated or something? But yeah, Alfie Allen certainly gets more action than an ordinary cute stoner, and nothing about that is predatory.

A boss and an employee, the issue is that the employee may only be consenting out of fear for their job; age gaps are only shady if the younger partner is also very young in general--no one cares if a 30 year old dates a 45 year old.

As for women, essentially I take issue with the ones where a.) the context is inappropriate, or b.) there's a reasonable deception going on there. Getting preference for a modeling or acting gig because you look good is not predatory or weird; getting preference to be a chef or an accountant because you look good is. In that vein, I do think it's shady for a girl to scam a guy at a bar out of a bunch of drinks when she has no interest in him, or go on a date with a guy she thinks is gross because he'll pay, because he has decent reason to think she likes him, and she's being a jerk. On the other hand, if guys want to give money to Belle Delphine after seeing her videos, she's not lying or cheating them out of anything; they have no reason to think she's interested in them. More power to her.

SaBahRub · 2020-06-22T16:52:51+00:00

Uh, no —- trading sex for money has a well-used, negative descriptor: gold digging. No one sees this a positive.

As for women using sexuality to their advantage, I don’t have a problem with it. There’s no advantage to not using it, as long as you accept the consequences. Being good, moral, and principled has almost no upsides — it gets you nothing. It’s sad that it is an option, but I totally do not blame women for using it — if the good way doesn’t work, use the bad way

If you’re going to be sexualized either way, you might as well ensure that the benefits go into your pocket, and not someone else’s

Reisiluu · 2020-06-22T10:45:45+00:00

I feel respect for women who get handed simp money and barely have to lift a finger to get it. Like selling bathwater or streaming. If the woman targets normal men instead of simps and deceives them, it's kind of gross. Women who exchange sex for career opportunities make me angry because I don't want that to be expected of women who are already educated and competent. When it comes to actual prostitutes I only feel pity. It's tragic that they feel selling their own body is the best option.

2020-06-22T15:00:58+00:00

Yes, it's disgusting. I once had a male friend who advised me on how to manage a difficult co-worker by using my "wiles" to manipulate him and I almost puked. Women who use sexual come-ons to manipulate people and get things from them are very much seen as icky by the sisterhood.

SplushkaMcOwlFace · 2020-06-22T09:21:05+00:00

Preditory behaviour when one use their power or money to get sex. For example if some old woman would use her power to get access to young sexy guy. Is the guy preditor? No. she is a preditor. The same time when beautiful woman attracts men who willing to give her money, buy gifts or whetever it's not preditory firsts because its passive, she doesn't actually do anything, and secondary she is not pressuring anyone to sex with her. If we are talking about gold diggers who pretending to have vigorous love toward man for gaining money and man is not aware that its transactional that can be considered as sort of predatory behaviour. Although I am sure those men know what they are getting.

smasher187 · 2020-06-22T13:12:47+00:00

No I don't. Life is tough, if a woman has natural sex appeal or beauty and she uses it to advance in life, all power to her.

ldonnawho · 2020-06-22T07:49:16+00:00

In a sense I did that a bit. I went to an Ivy League University and couldn't afford the tuition but was not poor enough to get a decent financial aid package. I was a sugar baby throughout my college years to pay for it all and the connections I made helped me land an interview for my consulting job.

I think we all have to do what we gotta do to succeed in life🤷🏼‍♀️

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-06-22T06:44:04+00:00

[removed]

reluctantly_red · 2020-06-22T08:48:44+00:00

No, I think it's perfectly normal and understandable. Women should use whatever means they can to get by in a male-dominated world.

BlueCommieSpehsFish · 2020-06-22T12:03:38+00:00

Absolutely yes.

Desi_Wolverine · 2020-06-22T13:01:06+00:00

Sex appeal is an asset. There is no shame in using your assets for benefits. I know i would if i had the kind of sex appeal.

imjgaltstill · 2020-06-22T13:57:17+00:00

I view it as advertising

Silverpixelmate · 2020-06-22T14:13:20+00:00

I feel like men are absolutely obsessed with looking at and sexualizing women. They give zero fucks about jerking off to them on a daily basis and then turn around and disparage women and their sex appeal. It’s getting bizarre.

flyinghorse1 · 2020-06-22T14:21:44+00:00

Nope. Same with men who use their appeal. I empathise and pity those who fall for such things so easily.

krmaml · 2020-06-22T14:25:19+00:00

Man here. Its not disgusting and they have every right to do so. But people / society have a right to judge them or be uncomfortable with their actions too.

slavicgypsygirl · 2020-06-22T14:51:32+00:00

I don't bc I sexualise myself for money & am friends with a lot of other girls who do to

c_dolly · 2020-06-22T15:18:23+00:00

But are you also as disgusted in women who use their sex appeal to get free drinks, acquire fame, climb the corporate ladder, get meals on dates etc?

These are different and I feel disgusted by some but not all.

Free drinks/free meals : no.

Corporate ladder : yes, deeply disgusted.

I don't think getting free drinks/meals is predatory, you're not exactly trying to convince anyone to buy you a drink. It's rude if you accept the free drink and just dismiss the guy, but not exactly predatory.

As for using your sex appeal to get a job/promotion that you wouldn't have gotten otherwise, yes it is absolutely disgusting to me. It's so gross when you see it happen and it's detrimental to both the other women and the other men.

I think fame follows attractive people, and not the other way around.

HODL_monk · 2020-06-22T16:02:12+00:00

It depends on how you define the word 'use'. If women just look great and people just give them stuff because reasons, that is just 'if you've got it, flaunt it', and if looking great can help you get ahead (and it can), why not ? Now if they are actively pretending to like someone to get drinks and hand outs, that is a little more pathetic, but it takes two to tango, so to some extent guys are also at fault for handing out favors to try to get affection.

phlegmdawg · 2020-06-22T16:14:13+00:00

As long as both parties are consenting adults making a willing decision to participate and no power imbalance issues at play, I have no issues with people using physical attraction to get what they want. Part of that “consenting” means realizing that at any point the person can stop or change their mind and that saying yes to one thing doesn’t mean saying yes to another thing down the line. Along with that comes owning your personal actions and decisions and not giving a flying fuck about what other people think.

Often times I feel society looks at men who use their power, fame or fortune to get sex as predatory. The older man and younger woman, a boss and an employee, even a rock star and an infatuated fan etc.

I think this is only the case when the person being prayed upon is under age or incapable for some reason of forming a truly consenting opinion. And I also don’t think this is a man or woman thing, I feel like the world is pretty even on calling out abusers in general.

If not don’t you believe that using these tactics to get things perpetuate the idea that an exchange of goods for sex is normal?

And what’s wrong with perpetuating the idea of two consenting people of sound mind agreeing to an exchange of whatever? Assuming there is no power imbalance in place. People can exchange whatever they want as long as they are both aware of the deal and are game. Now if there are rules in place that make it unacceptable, such as a workplace, then they need to respect that. But the exchange in itself is not morally wrong.

BlondeVsTheWorld · 2020-06-22T16:33:00+00:00

I’ve been pulled over multiple times and only ever had a ticket once. I have positively been guilty of what I’ve been pulled over for. I’m not sure if this is the same thing, but I’m not going to ask to be ticketed.

However, I don’t really consider either predatory if we are dealing with adults.

rosmaskinen · 2020-06-22T16:48:31+00:00

Almost. Maybe? I moreso have slightly condescending feelings towards that, but that's because I hate the idea of having to beg for drinks or barter my sexuality for such trivial things as a drink.

Predatory? Depends on context; if it's a young woman on a date with an older man with a power trip it's more oppournitistic than predatory, and if it's a adult titty streamer that through parasocial relations pressure young and easily-impressed boys to give away their weekly allowance, then we can speak of predatory and disgusting. Since my answer isn't a complete agreement, I'll take that as me answering no to your question.

If not don’t you believe that using these tactics to get things perpetuate the idea that an exchange of goods for sex is normal?

Normal, maybe? Not for me or my friend group, but it seems to be a thing for other cultures. I'm pretty sex negative and have a big problem with the transactional ideological thing going on in a lot of contemporary relations, so I do find it extremely unhealthy. For all parts involved. Not to mention how unsustainable it is to uphold such dynamics.

SnowHatesWome · 2020-06-22T17:55:45+00:00

Men force themselves on others. Women looking hot so men approach them gives men the freedom and space to decide what they want to do.

ontherailstoday · 2020-06-22T08:32:50+00:00

> are you also as disgusted in women who use their sex appeal to get free drinks

Nope. I think it is a foolish venture to chat to guys to get drinks, I'm not real keen on routine drinking or interacting with men while drunk, all things considered, but I certainly don't think women are victimizing anyone by doing so. Those guys have their reasons for paying for drinks and if you'd like them to stop doing so, go talk to those guys. Can't drink a drink until someone has paid for it, if they don't buy she won't have a free drink.

> climb the corporate ladder,

Depends on context really. If she's outright fucking someone to change the course of a recruitment or promotion decision that is very bad... if she just glows with health and beauty and charm and is the sort of creature everyone wants to be around... well being like that works pretty well for guys too in getting jobs. Charisma is a thing. Sad for those who just aren't impressive, but not unfair in any deliberate way.

> get meals on dates

Don't feel that is bad either... never been a game I've really played but if a woman is getting lots of date offers and is willing to sit through a bunch of interminable dates politely giving each guy his chance to impress her, well why the fuck not? Takes two to tango, why aren't you going after men who pay for meals?

Sekina7 · 2020-06-22T10:30:14+00:00

In these types of scenarios, the women are usually NOT doing the pursuing or coercing anyone to do anything they are not usually offering or in some cases BEGGING, Nice try though.

the_purring_jew · 2020-06-22T12:23:44+00:00

Nope dont care. Good for them

azngirl7689 · 2020-06-22T10:42:05+00:00

No, if she’s going to be sexualized anyway, why not cash in? Men will sexualize a McChicken sandwich so she shouldn’t let it go to her head but otherwise go for it!

thetruthishere_ · 2020-06-22T11:17:10+00:00

Im not a fan of women that use men for free drinks and meals. I also dont think its right to F the boss to get ahead either. Not something Id do, Id want to advance because I earned it by hard work not my body.

I also have a life, I dont have time to hang out with men for free meals, its a waste of my own time. I can cook better than a restaurant so I'll make my own meal all day over dinner with a man I have no interest in just for a meal.

I had a friend in my youth that used guys for free drinks when we'd go out sometimes and I hated it. She planned on using them for drinks, it was a 'goal'. I saw it as asking for trouble. We are no longer friends.

Willow-girl · 2020-06-22T12:59:43+00:00

No. Everyone plays the hand they're dealt! I preferred not to play those cards myself, but if another woman uses sex appeal as a shortcut to success, more power to her.

Asbelowsoaboveme · 2020-06-22T14:50:26+00:00

No, I say good for them. Men will objectify women no matter what they do, so it’s in women’s best interest to capitalize off the inevitable objectification. Team woman, bitch. Milk unattractive thirsty males for all they’ve got. Using power and fame to get sex is predatory, using sex to get power and fame is not. I respect women who get what they want, game respects game.

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Dodechaedron · 2020-06-22T11:40:57+00:00

Disgusting no, not above my moral standards

ivy176 · 2020-06-22T13:34:55+00:00

What do you mean by fame and fortune to get sex? Do you mean they are coercing or manipulating people into sex with those things, or they simply have more interest from women because they're rich and famous? If the women are offering and there is no deceit or manipulation involved, I don't see that as predatory. I don't value men who want to sleep around and I wouldn't be interested in them, but doesn't mean them accepting sex is predatory, unless the women are too young or clearly not in an appropriate position to consent, and providing he's not leading them on with anything.

In the same way, I don't see it as predatory for a woman to accept drinks or a meal because someone likes her. It's not transactional, you don't pay for a woman to have sex with you by paying for the date. If it's offered and you're not coercing the man to do it then it's not predatory.

If a woman is going out with men almost every night and leading them on to believe she's interested in a relationship when she's not, simply to get free food because she's that broke, then that's sad and she needs to invest that energy into her career. But as a woman, I have never ever met a woman who ever did that. Huge majority of women don't view getting dolled up and putting in that effort as worth getting one meal lol. Plus I don't know any women who are that broke that it'd be worth it. If you were homeless and malnourished then it'd be different... but that's why people on the streets sometimes resort to sex work.

smolboi69420-57 · 2020-06-22T13:47:00+00:00

Not as much predatory but gross and immoral

asdf333aza · 2020-06-22T14:31:48+00:00

It's primitive in nature and shows regression in our society.

They did an experiment with monkeys and gave the monkeys a form of currency to use to get treats. Not long after, the female monkeys started prostituting themselves to get currency in exchange for treats. That is essentially what women who use sex appeal are doing.

It's a primitive way of living. It's a female using her most basic and animal like nature to get resources. It removes cultural and societal development from the equation and brings us back to mere animals. Sex for goods. The male equivalent of this basic strategy, would be for them to use their superior size and strength to threaten and beat women and children to simply take whatever it is that they wanted. These primitive behaviors by men and women are both looked down on within society. No one celebrates child abusers or women beaters. The same way we USED to not celebrate whores, hookers and sluts. However, society and culture as a whole is degrading and people are becoming more okay with females living out life on their basic animalistic strategies of sex for resources. The females are becoming more liberated to use their sexual differences to benefit themselves, while the males are restrained by society expectations.

GroundSloth123 · 2020-06-22T14:44:08+00:00

I think it’s complicated. I try not to do it and don’t respect myself or like myself when I feel I’ve achieved or gotten something based on sex appeal. That said the thing about being a woman in the world is a lot of times you end up getting things because of sex appeal without trying. If it’s done respectfully without an implication of expecting anything in return I don’t turn it down. I see it as someone saying “I appreciate the way you look and it makes me want to pay for your drinks (or whatever the “gain” is).” It’s not a business transaction, it’s just a nice compliment that involves a form of personal gain.

_Anarchon_ · 2020-06-22T15:33:10+00:00

The problem isn't using it to get what you want, it's demanding to be respected afterwards...that I find disgusting.

GGMcThroway · 2020-06-22T15:51:34+00:00

If there isn't an inherent power difference and there aren't potential threats or implied consequences for refusing, then I wouldn't call it predatory. If there is, then yes.

To me, using sex to get fame or power is like other forms of nepotism. I'll think less of both parties because she didn't get there on her own merits, but that's it.

I wouldn't do it myself, but as long as both parties agree to it, I don't see a problem with exchanging goods for sex. But by agree I mean that they're both aware of the conditions. A man just giving a woman a drink doesn't entitle him to sex and whatnot.

nemma88 · 2020-06-22T15:56:09+00:00

Yes, though it's generally sitting at at lower grossness scale, especially using sex to get ahead as sex is still something that's considered to be given to men. So when a women is using sex it's a woman gifting men. When men are using power it's men taking from women.

Women bitch about other women all the time, and if a woman perceives another woman trying to sex up the boss you can bet all the claws in the office come out.

red-tea-rex · 2020-06-22T16:16:36+00:00

Exchange of goods for sex is called the oldest profession for a reason.

vinx_finx · 2020-06-22T16:51:20+00:00

I find it absolutely disgusting and upsetting when a girl uses her sex appeal to take advantage of guys, especially the nice guys. Honestly it’s ruining our society. Just look at how satisfied women are. Honestly I dint know very many happy women. Have sex with the nice guys, the settle for nice guys after years of sexually abusing(teasing them and taking advantage of them) is leading to a collapse of society. The majority of people are divorced and unhappy. Kids are more than likely going to get a step father that doesn’t care about the kids and it will make the cycle even worse. We also have the highest incarceration rate out of anywhere in the world which can be tied directly to this behavior. I once had an ex girlfriend tried to say my friend was trying to rape her. The truth is she was full of crap because she was the one that had been flirting with him and asked to speak to him privately. Heck we even shared women and we never lied to each other. So anyways she comes crying to me saying my friend tried to rape her(which was impossible because I over heard her saying she was gonna lie to me before she could tell him) and she wanted me to fight my best friend. She tried to use her sex appeal to use me and then tried to get me to fight my friend. Also by the way if you are using your sex appeal to get free stuff and get raped what do you think would happen. Be safe women and only use your sex appeal on guys you want to have sex with. Not for free stuff. Also if your gonna play the game your gonna get hurt.

OddButton6 · 2020-06-22T17:20:24+00:00

It’s gross and just playing the game... Those women that does it to climb the corporate ladder are especially smart because they are playing the game. Hate the game not the player.

Bekiala · 2020-06-22T23:55:01+00:00

I can't say I feel disgusted but I don't like it. Mostly, when I see young women seeking attention through their looks, I think, "Please please develop something in yourself besides your looks."

rubbooyuri · 2020-06-23T05:00:35+00:00

I don’t like it, but I understand it. And I don’t condemn it unless it is malicious

PM_ME_SOME_GOOD_SONG · 2020-06-23T10:30:59+00:00

I consider them smart. It's not their fault that society works like that.

wolkmi · 2020-06-23T14:13:15+00:00

Iam a man and I only think is disgusting and predatory things like findom or cuckold where theres a lot of potential abuse.

I also think women are a little bit hypocritical, they see this good, but if a man manipulates for sex or money or seduces a younger woman, or with less self esteem, with addictions, etc then they would see it wrong but taking advantage of men is okay

2020-06-23T22:00:22+00:00

God no I’m not disgusted. We are all doing what we have to in order to survive and one of the only perks to being a women is getting stuff for being attractive. It’s like men want pretty women to have nothing, or to sit back and accept things politely and anything assertive inspires rancor.

I worry that exploiting male sexual desire to survive Is not sustainable and will take a toll on their self worth in the long term if that’s all she has going for her and she doesn’t nurture her other abilities, but ALL women should use every tool at her disposal to benefit herself while she has them. Why shouldn’t she? Men certainly do the same.

gaylordfag6 · 2020-06-24T08:21:08+00:00

No. I admire them.

ramaga · 2020-06-22T14:54:10+00:00

Getting mad at women for using sex appeal to get what they want is like getting mad at a bird for using its wings to fly: it's literally what they were designed to do.

crookedsummer2019 · 2020-06-22T10:47:43+00:00

I think it’s wrong because it does in fact normalize free stuff for sex and often leaves women who don’t do that having to justify to some men why they won’t make out with or go home with them after a dinner date that the guy paid for (usually because other girls he took out have).

Which is the main reason why I suggest paying half on first dates and continuing to do that on future dates with the same guy or taking turns. It also shows to the guy that you don’t feel entitled and decent guys who don’t expect sex for a free meal certainly seem to appreciate not having to pay for everything.

Using sex appeal to climb the corporate ladder does nothing to further women’s goals to have the same career opportunities as men and be seen as equally deserving. It just pisses off men who feel like she used her boobs to get the promotion they he deserved and increases the view that women don’t have skills, they just use their bodies to get ahead. When women who don’t do that but get promotions based on merit and actual skills, they sometimes have to prove that they deserve the promotion and this is when some of those women turn into pitbull managers (overcompensating) and then the view is females managers are the worse and it just goes on and on.

LyfeSuck · 2020-06-22T20:57:17+00:00

All sex IS transactional by nature. There's no such thing as free sex. Well actually there is, it's called rape.

Women always expect to get paid for sex one way or another. The one sole difference between a girlfriend and a prostitute is the latter sells sex for a much lower price than the former.

Title	Do you consider women who use sex appeal for gain as predatory or disgusting?
Author	SnowHatesWome
Upvotes	91
Comments	307
Date	June 22, 2020 5:52 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/hdmehf/do_you_consider_women_who_use_sex_appeal_for_gain/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-consider-women-who-use-sex-appeal-for-gain.698460 https://theredarchive.com/post/698460

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