Are there any non-bigoted reasons why women are turned off by bisexual men?

InitialArgument1662 · 2021-05-20T01:20:54+00:00

No, I don’t think there are any non-bigoted reasons for this “preference”, even if a woman tries to explain it away or minimize how it makes her look. It’s part of the reason so many bisexual men are ashamed to be open about their sexuality, and why bisexual women appear to overrepresent bisexuality as a whole.

IcarusKiki · 2021-05-20T00:31:25+00:00

I wouldn’t care if my man is bi but some women think that bi men are just gays in denial.

towerofcheeeeza · 2021-05-21T00:10:47+00:00

Nope. It's all bi erasure. Bi guys are told they're actually gay but won't admit it, and bi girls (like myself) are told we much be straight and doing it for attention. It sucks.

GridReXX · 2021-05-19T14:10:09+00:00

I don’t think I’m turned off by bi men but I think for many straight women they find the idea of their man tenderly caressing the sinewy rough skin of a man, or being bent over by a man, or kissing another man inherently female-like/feminine.

Straight women’s lizard brains value maleness/masculinity in relation to femaleness/femininity sexually.

It’s not about it feeling logical to you. It’s logical to the amygdala of many straight women when they struggle with feelings of sexual disinterest/disgust in MSM. If you want to call her lack of pussy tingles “bigoted” feel free. Doesn’t change her clit from not thumping.

They aren’t disinterested/disgusted wrt these men as friends or family members. They simply aren’t turned on by him sexually or perhaps are actively turned off sexually by him.

But ya know, many women are turned off sexually and not turned on sexually by a host of things. Welcome to that club bi men 🙃😫, you’re experiencing what 99% of men experience with some woman somewhere.

inB4: NAWLT

edit: As a bi woman who is dating a woman, I have to agree with /u/passepar2t on this. Something about “penis” fucks with the heads of people with hetero proclivities.

Straight/bi women who take too much penis are viewed negatively by men who date women, including many bi men OP.
Gay bottoms are treated as “loose” or “messy sluts” in the gay male community even when tops are equally fucking everything.
Straight men are seemingly threatened by the thought of a man in his orbit and potentially entering his orifices.
Women who have sex with men require the man to be the active penetrative party in order for hetero sex to ensue. That’s an inherently dominant position to take (outside of cowgirl) and requires in many ways leadership and trust. For whatever reason, knowing her man fucks men/is fucked by men fucks with her lizard brain response of sexual arousal for him. Her lizard brain doesn’t think he is hetero enough to handle the task. Also women evolved to be sexually turned on by being the desired party. If she unconsciously thinks for even a second that he isn’t fully turned on by her, she won’t be turned on sexually.

The penetrative act, particularly with a penis, seems to be the reason for the season here lol.

Moaibeal · 2021-05-19T14:50:02+00:00

The only non-bigoted reason someone would not be attracted to a bisexual man is if it wasn’t because he was bisexual. If he’s an ass, or just not attractive to them, fine. If you learn someone is bisexual and lose interest, you’re biphobic. (There can be understandable reasons, like you got cheated on by one and now buy more into the stereotype, it’s human, doesn’t make you a horrible person, but still biphobic)

ivy176 · 2021-05-22T12:32:41+00:00

I don't think it's bigoted to want a strictly straight man. Just like it's not bigoted to not want to date trans men or someone who identifies as non binary, or to not want to date another woman.

yayayubsea · 2021-05-19T15:05:31+00:00

It’s honestly for me pretty simple. I want a man who loves women, pussy, like LOVES it. I also want a man who wants a woman who LOVES men and dick.

When you have sex with someone with a vagina it’s (obviously) very different than sex with someone who has a penis. I want someone who doesn’t like penis, because I don’t like vagina. That’s just me personally. I don’t have an issue at all with someone’s sexual preferences, I just have a preference on what I want someone I’m dating sexual preferences to be, if that makes sense.

Good question, by the way.

LonelyWineAunt · 2021-05-19T20:52:07+00:00

No one is a bigot for their sexual preferences or sexual orientation.

rft24 · 2021-05-19T14:54:41+00:00

i don’t have any reasons that wouldn’t be considered “non-bigoted.” i think liberals operate with the understanding that there’s no “non-bigoted” reasons to choose not to date people who are not straight and/or cisgender.

CoyoteCookies · 2021-05-19T14:15:51+00:00

I like bisexual men. Men who are overly protective of their sexuality or their masculinity have too much to be angry or insecure about and tend to act like asshats. Of course, I won't bother with a man who's promiscuous or has a history of cheating, so that won't affect my judgment if they've otherwise passed my vetting process.

Other than homophobia, I think the bisexual stereotype of being slutty / cheating is probably the biggest issue. But again, that can apply to any man, so my answer is just vet better.

Demasii · 2021-05-19T16:20:41+00:00

"I don't like thought of my boyfriend having done anal with another man". A lot of bisexuals also don't like anal. A lot of straight men do like anal. Do female buttholes not count?

It counts for me. If a man enjoys giving or recieving anal it's a turn off.

Ihateregistering6 · 2021-05-19T15:49:37+00:00

Not a woman, but MSMs (men who have sex with men) have much higher infection rates of STDs (including HIV) than men who only have sex with women, so that's at least one reason that is based on logic.

tiposk · 2021-05-19T14:06:07+00:00

Unfortunately I can't think of any. I'm pretty much convinced that the double standard between bisexual men and women comes down to a bias against men engaging in feminine actions. Many aspects of femininity are already looked down upon in women, so when a man engages in those he's perceived as someone who's lowering himself to a level he shouldn't.

I wouldn't mind dating a bisexual. I believe I hooked up with a bi guy many years ago, although i never bothered to confirm it.

Barneysparky · 2021-05-19T14:52:11+00:00

I would have been happy with a bisexual man just like some men are happy with a high N count woman.

People are allowed to have preferences.

Snacksbreak · 2021-05-19T19:32:37+00:00

Well men here seem to insist that each penis a woman has touched devalues her exponentially. Penises are the problem.

This implies that since bi men touch penises, they're extra defiled compared to a straight man.

Therefore, each bi man is equal to a much higher n for the woman, plus the man himself is of lower value.

Basic RP logic, my bros.

msmirio · 2021-05-19T18:54:34+00:00

These reasons are bigoted and I honestly don’t care. What you’re saying kinda reminds me of trans people accusing people of being bigots or transphobic for have genitalia preferences. You can’t strong-arm others into dating you by threatening to label them a bigot, unfortunately.

I wouldn’t date a trans person. I probably wouldn’t date a bisexual man (most of the bi-men I know are very effeminate & too liberal). I wouldn’t date a black guy or a white guy. I wouldn’t date a fat guy or a broke guy.

Everyone, male or woman, have preferences that can be dissected down as “shallow” or “bigoted”. That’s just how it goes in dating and rejection, its a very exclusive and exclusionary thing.

crookedsummer2019 · 2021-05-19T14:53:04+00:00

I would be more concerned that a part of what he desires sexually is something that I wouldn’t be able to fulfill for him and if that will leave a void or not.

Kizka · 2021-05-19T17:53:51+00:00

Tbh I never thought about it. Now that I do I wouldn't mind at all to date a bisexual man. Haven't met one yet (or if I have, they didn't tell me). My SO is as straight as it gets but if I were to ever end up single again I really wouldn't know a reason to not date a bisexual man. If he's into me, he's into me, everything else is kinda irrelevant.

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MadsMkay · 2021-05-19T18:21:41+00:00

I am not turned off as long as he was on top

2021-05-21T01:50:57+00:00

As a bisexual woman I’m glad you asked this question because, no, there is no reason that isn’t bigoted for someone to dislike bisexual men. I would look into verilybitchie on YouTube and her videos on bi-erasure of bi men and fetishization of bi women. I think you’d find it very interesting. She goes into all of the historical reasons as to why these women were most likely trained to think this way (trained by society and religious-political propaganda).

She says in the video that when they were talking about the AIDS/HIV epidemic they purposefully framed bisexual men as predatory in articles saying “bi women are giving straight women aids” basically and vilifying them.

upalse · 2021-05-21T17:03:44+00:00

I'm bi-curious (including one breakup due to "often flirting with men"):

Women are stupidly possessive about their SO staying loyal, just like men are stupidly possessive of women's body. Anybody who insists even working relationships don't have aspect of this is in denial, or a freak of nature who genuinely don't feel the mate guarding kick in the gut (the few folks who can do genuine poly).
"You take it into the ass? You suck dicks?" Doesn't feel like coming from bigoted angle, but more like a slut-shaming one.
That one is bigoted angle imo, ie pigeonhole you into position to be hated the most. One drop rule.
Monkey behavior of dominance being tied to situational homosexuality in males. Think about how it works in prisons and with bullying. The weak succumbs to the strong, and only the weak is seen as "gay twink".
Often comes from repressed church girls. Women that are more sex positive have no issue with it, or even find the idea of gay sex hot (though not necessarily the act itself), just as men do with lesbian sex.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-05-19T16:51:38+00:00

Bisexual men are just not attractive to me. I say this as someone bisexual myself. There are men grossed out by bisexual women as well, no one cares.

For me, give it a few years, and he will start stretching for pegging. MFM is hot, so long as the men aren't touching, sucking and kissing each other and shit. They should be grossed out by each other.

There is a huge overlap between bisexual men, pansexuality, trans politics, kink/BDSM, astrology, poly - open relationships, witchcraft, feminism, paganism, green hair, feminine men and obesity, cross-dressing, and other freaky stuff etc.. And people are trying to pretend there isn't.

Just a few days ago on /r/AskWomen, I got downvoted when saying I turned off by fucking a man in the ass to "experiment" with pegging and make him happy. All the other women were surely on this boat.

2021-05-19T15:19:39+00:00

Honestly - I find the idea of a man fucking another man gross , and I find myself unattractive to men who do sexual things I find 'gross'.

I would equally not be attracted to a man that had a wierd kink - even if he was content on keeping that kink a fantasy.

I understand it's frustrating for bi men, but I can't negotiate attraction I'm afraid.

2021-05-19T20:26:43+00:00

Its not “bigoted” its just preferences. By writing it the way you did plays into the sjw’s hands.

If you are straight there is nothing wrong with not going for gay/bi. You dont need to explain more and its not bigoted or anything.

MoreAlfa · 2021-05-19T23:40:06+00:00

Look, you are trying to turn lack of attraction into being bigoted. So if a black person is not attracted to a white person, they are bigoted?

You are trying to victimize the situation when attraction is the issue.

samxx9 · 2021-05-19T14:50:04+00:00

off topic slightly but I used to be really tolerant with bisexual girls and stuff and not judge them for it. For some reason I tended to attract them more than other people and I had numerous experiences with them. The vast majority of them ended up being all crazy and unstable and so now I filter them out. Bigoted maybe but life experience tends to shape you. Stereotypes don't come from nowhere. The same for people I know in my family: the super liberal more 'open' to lgbt stuff side are mostly pretty toxic and insane behind the scenes. The more conservative ones have always been dead reliable and supportive. It's all fun and games to change the traditional family model and question things until you see kids be permanently damaged by people in that whole scene. Maybe some girls have the same filters when they see men.

lady_ven0m · 2021-05-19T18:56:22+00:00

I don’t know. I’m not attracted to men who are attracted to other men. I do agree there’s a double standard, because it’s more socially acceptable for women to be bi, but I can’t really tell you why. Maybe because men aren’t threatened by other women or see them as competition?

gigababejfl_ · 2021-05-19T15:23:03+00:00

"That shit is gay" is enough of a reason. I don't understand the question.

Not allowing someone in my body doesn't make me a bigot. Refusing to fuck a guy with bad breath or a wonky eye or whatever is all my prerogative so why would refusing to fuck a bisexual man need me to work through a moral dilemma, especially since I see no moral issue

I don’t feel anything about this. I don't sleep with gay men or gay adjacent men. Health risks aren't even my main reason although they are a big one.

I am a massive fan of masculinity and the thought of my man taking or sucking dick is not masculine to me. The woke community has not once moved the needle on this for me bc my body doesn't consult with randos about the risks I take with it.

I think the question, like many things, just proves deluded entitlement to women's bodies. There is nothing illogical about "I just don't want to" tf

xQueen-Bx · 2021-05-19T14:56:16+00:00

who cares if its "bigoted" or "homophobic"

NarniaFox · 2021-05-19T13:55:53+00:00

As a person from a highly homophobic country I'd guess that there's an issue of safety, but it would apply to anyone who is from LGBTQ+ community or even just supports it. I'd guess that most people are in the closet here, so if your partner had some experience with a person of their own gender, there's a risk that it will be brought into the light sooner or later and your whole family will get the backslash depending on your social circle, where you work and whether you have kids or not.

But honestly I don't get why women from more accepting countries are so concerned about it. Maybe because I'm bi myself, I think it's a benefit or at least a neutral trait, not a downside. I'd date a guy who has dated men with no problems.

nyauknow · 2021-05-19T20:33:48+00:00

Lot of bigots lmao

AbsolutelyNobody0 · 2021-05-20T15:00:53+00:00

The idea that men who are bisexuals are feminine. Where does this come from?

I don't know about you, but I've never met a bisexual man who I would consider masculine. They've all been more feminine than masculine. Of course, this doesn't preclude bisexual men from being masculine, but there certainly does seem to be a trend.

catfishchapter · 2021-05-19T19:51:32+00:00

I am not attracted to men who fuck other men. I am not turned on by men sucking dick, males being bent over by other males or males penetrating themselves into another man's asshole.

Men who have had anal sex with women does not give me the same feeling because he is not only aroused by the act of anal. He is aroused by her being a female; having a vagina, breast, soft skin, etc. If a man can keep his erection up from another man's physical attributes while going inside of him (chest, penis, etc) I don't want him, because I don't want him to be attracted to what I am attracted to.

Sucking dick actively turns me on. I wouldn't want a man who shares this interest with me.

Some men (alot of men) are okay with a women who share his sexual interest of other women. It's a turn on as he can have the possibility of enjoying women, enjoying eachother. For him it's the more the merrier. The act of a woman eating out and caressing another woman does not turn him off.

Woman + Woman = Gay / Lesbian Man + Man = Gay (whoever takes it and gives it) Woman + Man = Straight

No matter how you slice it a bi - sexual person is "gay and straight" For some people who are straight the information of the "gay" factor takes precedence over the straight.

SockInCloset · 2021-05-19T18:09:58+00:00

This is why I don’t like bisexuals. Stop calling people “phobes” because they don’t want to fuck you and most of y’all are gay in denial so I see why they wouldn’t date you, I’m not dating a chick that likes dick either 🤷🏼‍♀️

SaBahRub · 2021-05-19T14:38:42+00:00

I’d be afraid he’s actually gay and in denial. Is that bigoted when homophobia exists?

cowfishAreReal · 2021-05-19T14:19:15+00:00

I wouldn't have any problem dating a bisexual guy, and maybe some women have no bigoted reasons for not wanting to date one, but I'm yet to meet anyone that has one. Most women I know wouldn’t have any issues with a guy being bi and the few women who I suspect would have that issue are the religious anti gay people

Orange_Paisley · 2021-05-19T15:19:08+00:00

I’ve dated bisexual men. It’s not that different from dating any other man. I’m bisexual myself though though so whatever.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-05-19T14:08:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ToesyToeNails · 2021-05-19T18:08:58+00:00

Because men cheat a fucking lot. I have been with SO MANY MEN who I later found out were partnered. And that's with women who are significantly harder to fuck than men. I'm sorry but this is fucking terrifying. I would never sleep.

Cleanit_up_Jannies · 2021-05-20T05:53:42+00:00

why would you be competing with anyone in a relationship?

Why not recognize a legitimate fear only partners of bisexuals live with? I'm not worried if a gf goes to a slumber party with her girl friends, i will be if shes bisexual like i would be if she were straight or bi and sleeping over at a guys house.

a lot of straight men like anal

With a woman. A lot of straight men fantasize about threesomes, but not with another man, the sex of the extra participant alone can literally be the dealbreaker.

bi erasure, this is just bigotry isnt it?

Its a legit fear. If my girlfriend had fucked 10 women before me, i will be worried that she may leave me for a woman for the sole fact that i am not a woman and cant satisfy that need. Its not bigotry, its a legit concern that someone might dip years down the line over something you have no fix for.

the idea bisexual men are feminine

Doesnt matter where the idea comes from, if that perception exists in their minds then theyre free to tell you no. You do not have the right to force others to view you in the way you view yourself.

why would you be thinking of gay sex in a straight relationship?

Why would you be disgusted with her past sex with animals in a human relationship? Why would you be disgusted with her past sex with children in an adult relationship?

Its not bigotry to deny you sex, using shaming tactics to try and coerce women to fuck you is disgusting.

Det_Steve_Sloan · 2021-05-20T09:37:54+00:00

The idea that men who are bisexuals are feminine. Where does this come from?

This sort of delusion means you're beyond receiving explanations.

Tanalize · 2021-05-21T03:10:26+00:00

How about: its their dating pool and they can exclude whoever for whatever, on a dime. I personally wouldn't want to catch anything if you catch my drift. Also, I find it that bisexual men seem to view women as second to men.

Mobrowncheeks · 2021-05-19T13:58:59+00:00

I understand that you asked a question that is specific ( is there a reason that women don’t like bisexual men that isn’t bigoted) which since every answer is based in an opinion or feeling about some part of being a bisexual man, the answer is probably not, but it seems like your phrasing the question as if it’s a problem, why is that?

CockAFuckityFuck · 2021-05-20T18:49:48+00:00

This is a Public Service Announcement -

Men and women have preferences. Deal with it instead of being butt hurt.

superlurkage · 2021-05-19T21:02:55+00:00

As long as internalized homophobia is a thing, I’m afraid I’m going to be wary of bi men

Been there, done that; why risk an additional complication that is not my fault?

Shirley_Schmidthoe · 2021-05-20T04:04:42+00:00

Nope, but what cares—almost all sexual attraction is based on bigotry, stereotypes, and falling in love with a nonexistent image one has created of an individual in one's head.

Human beings don't fall in love with human beings; human beings are far too mediocre for that; they fall in love with idealized images of human beings they created in their head that don't exist and all of that is based on stereotypes and prejudices.

cloudsongs_ · 2021-05-20T18:57:00+00:00

Just preference. There are so many guys here that prefer low n-count women, even though the # of partners you have shouldn't define or impact anything if your relationship is healthy, right?

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-05-20T22:42:39+00:00

I’m a woman dating a bi man, and I can’t think of any tbh, and as someone who is also attracted to women it would be pretty hypocritical! The only negative thing I’ve experienced is short-lived worries that maybe he would rather be with a man (since bi people can still have preferences for one gender or another). However, those worries were laid to rest pretty soon because it’s very obvious he’s attracted to me and has stated he prefers women’s personalities for dating as well. Every bi person is different in this way, so I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily bigoted to worry that maybe a bi person strongly prefers the gender you aren’t. But it isn’t hard to tell if that’s the case, so no, there are no non-bigoted reasons for the stigma that I can see. I think over the next few years more and more men will be coming out as bi if the stigma continues to lift. A huge number of women are openly bi now, and I think it’s actually very very common for humans in general.

PollaTronante · 2021-05-23T02:40:49+00:00

I don't understand it either. I find bisexuality in men to be a total turn-on.

Fizzygurl · 2021-05-30T14:42:54+00:00

Count me as bigoted and illogical then...a total turn off to me.

cherryloaf · 2021-05-21T22:40:36+00:00

I'm not interested in a pervert, porn/sex addict, or STD farm. I also don't owe anyone a relationship.

Title	Are there any non-bigoted reasons why women are turned off by bisexual men?
Author	ToesyToeNails
Upvotes	45
Comments	364
Date	May 19, 2021 1:49 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ng6d98/are_there_any_nonbigoted_reasons_why_women_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-there-any-non-bigoted-reasons-why-women-are.754277 https://theredarchive.com/post/754277

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