Did men who felt "lied to by the media" miss the media that was right in front of them?

death_by_1000_cats · 2021-06-22T21:59:13+00:00

Every morning while I get cleaned up I listen to a local morning show on a top 40 station. I've come to think of it as my "daily dose of normie" lol

They do a segment on this show called "Waiting by the Phone." The premise is basically that a person who's been ghosted reaches out to the show to get in touch with the person who ghosted them and figure out what happened. Nearly every segment is a guy who's been ghosted by a girl.

This morning the guy who called in described going on a date with a girl he'd met online and thought he had a great connection with. He was shocked that he ghosted her. Turns out the girl ghosted him because on their first date he volunteered the information that he wasn't seeing anyone else and that he really liked her and wanted to pursue something serious with her. The girl said she ghosted him because she found all of this on a first date too overwhelming.

The female host of the show usually provides some post-commentary giving her interpretation of the woman's side of the situation. This morning she literally described the concept of preselection nearly verbatim, said that women don't want a man other women don't want, they don't want to feel like the guy is "too available" or like he doesn't have other options. She said this is what's meant by a guy being "too nice."

This isn't the first time I've heard the female host of this show describe a red pill concept in pretty bare-faced terms. And this is on a very accessible terrestrial radio show on a top 40 station in a major city.

Later on during the same show one of the hosts asked if you had a friend who was going out with your opposite-sex sibling, and you knew the friend was promiscuous (50+ partners), would you let the sibling know. All three hosts (two men and one woman) said they would stay out of it, but both male hosts expressed their disgust with promiscuity while the female host was like, "Meh."

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-06-22T22:04:04+00:00

Confused by this. Are you saying that young boys should have been watching shows that were aimed at older demographics and searched for media that was not available to them at the time?

Yeah, thanks, Captain Hindsight.

Edit: Thenks Mather for my gold.

TheJim66 · 2021-06-22T22:26:22+00:00

You expected men to watch a show called girlfriends?

Here's the thing, that media portrays trashy women acting trashy. Men were never surprised by that. Men are surprised that AWALT. That the instincts that drive the trashy chick to act like that are also present in the nice girl next door that media tells them isn't like that. They are blindsided by the fact that the woman that resembles the good heroine of the shows they watched , is attracted to the same things the bad girl of the show is.

mechanical_elves · 2021-06-22T22:14:41+00:00

I think one of the funniest media lies was Johnny Bravo on Cartoon Network.

I mean as a kid I was skeptical already, but imagine buying into the idea that women would be stand-offish to an outgoing guy with big shoulders and perfect hair.

makinganimerealer · 2021-06-22T22:14:54+00:00

Oh boy, my age bracket's represented, it's not often we get to argue about this anymore.

The TV show's most consistent viewership was a "female audience" and "Black audience." But perhaps that's the thing. More folks around these parts should watch more media that's consumed by those demographics?

That shit doesn't work. The girl who are into Limp Bizkit wanted Fred Durst, not some fucking dork who also likes Rolling. They wanted Dr Dre, not some guy bumping Still Dre like he doesn't live in a suburban white home that's never even seen black people in real life. As you're generally not rich, famous or a criminal in school (yes, I know Dre was not a Real Muthaphuckkin G, not the point), most of that shit doesn't work on those girls.

The same goes for consuming media that women like. She wants N'Sync or the Backstreet Boys, not guys who are so "sensitive" that they also listen to girl-target boybands (and at that time, being considered gay or doing "gay" things was a massively bad thing, Livin' La Vida Loca and Bailamos were two of my favourite songs and I was never going to admit it in public for any reason). You were just as likely to get clowned for that than you were to get women into you.

I recall girls jamming out to misogynistic rock and gangster rap

That is one of my favourite arguments for why you shouldn't really a give a fuck about feminism or what women say either way.

Indis96 · 2021-06-23T01:48:43+00:00

EVERYONE is lied to by the media one way or another.

Its a Propanganda tool to push agendas to people, send a message, sell products, divide and conquer with politics and skewed news etc.

This should be "obvious" knowledge to everyone on planet Earth.

Corporation's aren't doing it for the good of their heart when they have money flowing in.

Jakes1967 · 2021-06-23T05:51:36+00:00

Watch any dating show on TV and red pill theory is confirmed. I love watching the over 30 women, who supposedly want "good men", it's hilarious. My wife and daughter get pretty pissed off, as I almost always guess the partner they're going to select.

I listen to a small terrestrial radio station (local university), the average listener is in their early 20s and female, thus very female centric. There's almost always discussions on dating and how most girls hate not being sexually satisfied during hook ups.

The discussions seem to centre around the "No good guys left", yet from the discussions, they're all up for hook ups, even when they know the guy is just interested in sex. Almost all the women in these discussions mention back up guys they're cultivating for longterm relationships.

AtaCome7821 · 2021-06-23T12:33:50+00:00

I actually was always "red pilled". It's not the "jocks" that get the girl, they get the girls. I believe it's the parents' faults not the mass media for why men have "red pill" experiences. I always knew that only the hottest guys get to fuck that was never a surprise for me, even the bible told me about these things. I do agree that people should do whatever they want, but what surprises me is that people get surprised when young men who get pushed out tend to become negative and violent(well not westerners, but where I'm from it ain't safe at all), all the while they ha a book that warns them about it. Where I'm from, complaints aren't about young men being sexless, it's about "young men are lazy, criminals, indifferent and don't care for responsibility" there are a lot of suicides here as well(actually higher rates than the west), but you won't know if a guy was depressed until he killed himself, no complaining, no suicide notes, no nothing, either suicide or become a douchebag who cares about no one but himself that does whatever it takes to get what he wants.

Ihateregistering6 · 2021-06-23T14:43:55+00:00

Perhaps the truth is boys weren't interested in where "the truth" resided.

Well yeah, because that media wasn't really made for them. This would be like me complaining that women didn't understand men because they didn't read Maxim or FHM, or that men don't understand women because they don't read romance novels. Sure you're technically right, but that media wasn't really designed with them in mind, so it shouldn't be shocking that they don't consume it.

As for the 'lied to by the media narrative", it really encompasses two ideas that fuck with men's heads, especially when younger:

-Women will ultimately come to their senses and stop finding asshole douchebags attractive and will want to date guys who are nice. How often did we see this plot (especially in teen movies), where the hot girl is dating some douchebag jock, but eventually she comes to her senses and starts dating the protagonist who has a heart of gold?

-A theme in almost all media (and it's been this way for millenia) is that bad guys eventually lose to good guys, good eventually triumphs over evil, and that overall the world is a just place. But the reality is that life isn't fair; good things don't always happen to good people and bad things don't always happen to bad people, and this is especially true in the dating world.

SaBahRub · 2021-06-22T22:00:20+00:00

Forget media; did they not watch the actual humans who were right in front of them?

I was one of the most socially inept girls at my school. I still didn’t need anyone to spoon feed me the truth about either gender when it was right in front of my face every day — not just at school, but in my family and community. Or just on the news.

rivetcitymayor · 2021-06-23T01:36:24+00:00

Im not gonna lie, I used to watch Sabrina as a kid. Don’t tell nobody I said that tho 👀. I’m a tough guy in these streets

webernicke · 2021-06-23T04:45:37+00:00

I watch a good deal of woman oriented media now as an adult, although I definitely wasn't exactly a stranger to "girl shows" as a kid.. Totally Spies, Sabrina, Clarissa, Buffy, As Told by Ginger et al..

There's a couple of things to consider.

First there was no way in Hell I would have admitted that I watched those shows when I was younger. Not only would you get clowned by the guys but you'd get friendzoned by the girls. It just wasn't as acceptable for guys to watch those shows as for the girls to watch Marvel and Pokemon or whatever. So there's that.

That said, I think girls shows are more enjoyable/informative if you already know what to look for. I'm not sure that they would help a boy that wasn't already attuned to it really learn that type of thing.

Girl shows lean more on the self-insert type of nuance where boys shows are more black-and-white good vs evil stuff, and also substitute overt action for covert social intrigue. Which is a problem of someone is trying to learn "the truth."

Because a lot of times with girl media especially, there is no "truth." People pick sides and get into fandom wars, because multiple interpretations are valid, and that's the fun in it. It's literally recreational hamstering.

Ain't nobody a fan of Megatron or Rita Repulsa unless they're an edgelord, though. Men need the Red Pill to learn the truth because it puts it into those kind of clear terms (to a simplistic fault, sure.) And from that foundation they might develop a more nuanced take.

But throwing people directly into "it's complicated" land without any anchor is probably not very helpful. Girls can self insert into the characters in a girl show and "get it." Harder for boys to do this.

Johnnycage456 · 2021-06-23T13:25:36+00:00

Society in general is alot more comfortable calling men superficial sacks of shit out in the open, so it's much more visible. You have to read between the lines to see it with women on media....but let's be real here. We know damn well men are portrayed as animalistic dogs much more than the other way around, even tho it's apparent we're all the same.

iiiinfinityyyy · 2021-06-22T22:11:46+00:00

I mean yeah red pill truths are everywhere but hindsight is 20/20. It's very easy to look back and say it's all there.

Women are told from a young age that men are predators, men will use them for sex, be wary of strange men etc etc.

Men aren't told anything of the equivalent. In fact we're fed Disney tales of the perfect women waiting for us and all of that fantasy crap

This is what we mean when we say we were lied to. We weren't directly told anything.

LowCreddit · 2021-06-22T22:23:21+00:00

You aren't wrong. There is a lot of TV for women that tells it from their perspective, especially now. And the men have little interest in it. Even before the Internet and video games took over boys' lives, TV was mostly boring. Every boy I knew growing up spent most of his time outside. The girls would all talk about the latest boring TV show.

throwaway3649_ · 2021-06-23T02:49:14+00:00

I think most of us understood how things were right from school. Guys had crushes on different girls. Almost all girls had crushes on the same few guys.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-06-23T05:35:52+00:00

Your still playing this 'who is more at fault' game, which IMO gets you nowhere.

That said, yes, perhaps there is some truth that men were not as interested in the areas that would have given them more of the truth than their mainstream male fare. And that many men were complicit in spreading misinformation to men.

As you point out later, there is no female Illuminati (nor male or co-ed) making conscious top-down decisions to propagandize the entire culture. Things do not usually work that way. Regardless, I can testify that as a male growing up in the 80s and 90s, men did get a very mixed message about female nature that served to obscure reality.

It's not that men of this generation did not understand than many women cared a lot about male physical appearance and/or status. We did high school. We saw the quarterback with the head cheerleader, etc. We were bombarded with tons of traditional messages about how women value male status and success. We also had lots of evidence that women cared a lot about how hot a guy was. However, we were also sold the paradigm that this was almost entirely culturally constructed. These were dying vestiges of a patriarchal culture. Women were changing the culture, and themselves with it. Despite the obvious contradiction, we somehow bought into the idea that female sexuality was somehow inherently kinder and more moral than male, yet also entirely socially constructed.

So here's the key point you are missing. Despite the obvious fact that many women obviously prioritized male success, status and appearance, we bought into the idea that there were a lot more exceptions than there really were. And we believed that those exceptions were growing and would continue to grow. We believed that there was this growing number of women who could essentially be 'won' by being kind to them, by catering to their needs, and by basically matching up with them, our idiosyncracies to theirs. Yes, at the same time we failed to notice that we were still prioritizing looks ourselves--we didn't wonder 'hey, if male behavior isn't changing in this 'new era', why would women's?'. Nor did we think much about the fact that the idea you could 'win' a woman just by YOUR actions removed all agency from women. We didn't think about whether the ugly fat girl could 'win' our affection enough, just by her actions, to be our girlfriend. (We'd bang her, but to publicly acknowledge her as our GF, no way?) So lots of hypocrisy to go around, though this was partly covered by buying into the idea that female sexuality was somehow kinder and more moral.

Anyways, it was all retarded. Just like blank slate feminism is stupid about so many things. But heh, people are stupid. Anyways, the key point is that we believed there were a lot more exceptions to classic female sexuality than there really were. We thought we could 'just be ourselves', not compete with other men, and we'd find a cute enough girl who just dug us because our personalities matched up and that would be enough.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-06-22T22:02:12+00:00

I am so glad I did not grow up in the 00s.

superlurkage · 2021-06-22T22:16:38+00:00

People who maintain that propaganda and entertainment is realistic and reasonable instead of aspirational and escapist are being either willfully obtuse, deliberately childish, or are really, really dumb

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-06-23T02:58:48+00:00

First world Caucasian problems mostly, as with most of PPD with the excepts of a few Blerds and foreign Asians

Mosagun · 2021-06-23T00:47:49+00:00

My fuzzy anecdotal evidence isn’t the best but I think there’s some truth to that. When I recall shows and movies I watched, even ones with female protagonists that often came from female or feminist writers and production teams, there were also storylines about the darker side to women. The false allegations in I May Destroy You, the vicious social climbing and bullying in Mean Girls, and even the plot to kill the prettier, younger woman out of jealousy in Snow White come to mind. But I assume there weren’t a ton of boys and men watching those.

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-06-23T12:53:36+00:00

Girlfriends is actually one of my favorite shows of all time

Emervila · 2021-06-22T21:57:34+00:00

I liked Melissa Joan Hart and many men did in all her shows especially Buffy.

If we talked about media the one show who shaped current dating world for both (knowingly or not) was The Sex and the City. That garbage caused big consequences to both men and women the most even writers regret and accept they lied and shaped the decay we know see. Just google The sex and the city along side "regret" or "lies" just find a lot of female articles.

Men don't use media for learning about dating, nor dating advice magazines or anything like that. Men rely primarily on father advice but there's way too many single mothers, after fathers men rely on their mates to learn that's why they are so lost, your school friend who is equally lost knows nothing.

Both have been sold lies women about they can have it all and decisions have no consequences and men into believing beta is a reliable strategy for mating.

801735 · 2021-06-22T21:45:54+00:00

More folks around these parts should watch more media that's consumed by those demographics?

Nah, the opposite. Fuck media. And fuck any demographics subsisting on media junk food.

Perhaps the truth is boys weren't interested in where "the truth" resided.

Perhaps. But that's irrelevant now. We have the pills content now, enough content out there for decades for anyone interested to explore.

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Goodthingstartssmall · 2021-06-23T19:46:36+00:00

Men see what is right but they can't identify it. I like to say that boys get messeges full of contradiction. On one side women, girls, education and mainstream media plagued by feminism drumming in how men should be softer, more emotional, thoughtful, be nice to women etc. obviously this doesn't work for over 90% of guys. Then on the other side they see the truth indirectly be it through assholes, "assholes" or rude speaking and good looking guys having success with girls, despite being almost the entire opposite of what feminists and other girls told them before, or be it through the media you described.

Then many of these wrong led guys are trying to change and better themselves often ending in punishment like slaps from girls or callouts like the classic lines "I thought you were different...; you were so nice and cute what happened?" etc. These situations making other guys afraid of this approach and they just suck it up. In the end they grow up in such a formating period not knowing what to do because apprently nothing seems to work.

newzalrt883 · 2021-06-24T00:20:51+00:00

I think from tv/media/observations I felt like women were slightly superficial but you could probably talk your way into getting with them if you were given the chance to open your mouth. What I found out is that women are reallly superficial when it comes to hook-ups and talking your way into getting with them only helps slightly. Also I didn't really know what an attractive guy looked like. Also found out most women just don't have that much casual sex so chasing it was really hard. I wish I would have slept with escorts and focused on money or pretended to want a relationship to have sex but I never liked lying.

SnooSprouts1580 · 2021-06-25T05:23:22+00:00

I haven't seen TRP state that the media is 100% blue pill. The TRP concept is even named after one of the biggest film franchises of all time.

TRP's aims criticism at common tropes you'll find in shows like The Simpsons, Friends, Family Guy, Everybody Loves Raymond, The King of Queens, etc, where you have a fat/lazy/incompetent/idiot/weak husband and a strong, fit, intellectually superior wife who typically runs the show. This type of dynamic doesn't match the couples I personally know that have remained happily married for years.

You'll find a mix a truth and BS in the media and the real life, so I don't blame anyone for being confused.

Hoopy223 · 2021-06-23T00:17:19+00:00

Guys are always looking for a silver bullet and there isn’t one.

Like the guy who was “too available”. OK next time he makes up a bullshit story about being really busy and the girl drops him because he is too busy or something. I’ve had that happen to me lol.

The best thing is to develop the ability to not give a shit. You do what you want to do & don’t make yourself a slave to some random wishy-washy cunt.

Title	Did men who felt "lied to by the media" miss the media that was right in front of them?
Author	GridReXX
Upvotes	13
Comments	254
Date	June 22, 2021 9:42 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/o5y2d1/did_men_who_felt_lied_to_by_the_media_miss_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/did-men-who-felt-lied-to-by-the-media-miss-the.786148 https://theredarchive.com/post/786148

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