A "compliment" that men need to stop using

thanarealnobody · 2021-12-20T23:00:44+00:00

I notice that guys like being impressed by your intellect… up until a point.

This guy wanted to play a hard quiz game and thought it was sexy how smart I was.

After I won 5 rounds, he called the game stupid and didn’t want to play anymore and he sulked for the rest of the night. 🤷🏻‍♀️

whitefox00 · 2021-12-21T00:06:24+00:00

I’m almost 40 years old, however I’m short (5’1 ish). I am not “cute”. I’m a full grown woman who pays bills and has kids. I’m not a puppy nor a toddler. I’m not “so adorable”. Double bonus points if they tell me I’m especially cute when I’m angry.

yairina · 2021-12-21T02:11:13+00:00

"I dont normally like nose piercings but it looks good on you" from a handful of men on dating apps that weren't happy when I responded "I know".

Edit: i got my first message from a pissed off man who coincidentally is on the tinder sub, i finally made it 🥺

LysistrataRises · 2021-12-21T03:11:44+00:00

To a foolish woman, a man's compliments inform her of who she is, but to a wise woman, a man's compliments inform her of who HE is.

kansascitydream · 2021-12-21T01:13:41+00:00

I’m petite and have big eyes. My most hated compliment is: “you look like a teenager, it’s hot” I am a 30 year old woman. It makes them sound like pedos

SimplySharon1215 · 2021-12-21T04:37:02+00:00

“Short hair actually looks good on you!” “Have you ever thought about growing your hair out? I mean it’s cute but…” “You make short hair look sexy”. Yeah. There is much more to my personality than my hair. But of course he’ll spend the entire date talking about himself and never find that out…

Last_Nerve42 · 2021-12-21T02:09:50+00:00

When a guy says "wow, you do athletic thing so much better than other girls I know." Like dude. Get to know some more girls.

whiskey_and_oreos · 2021-12-20T23:02:29+00:00

From a guy I had met literally 20 minutes prior: "oh, I didn't expect that from you." You don't say. Please, tell me what else you've already projected onto the ideal snapshot of me in your head so I know exactly how fast to run. 😒

MariaDolorosa · 2021-12-21T01:34:42+00:00

It’s not so much the compliment but when they say “I like that…” in that creepy, sexual way afterwards. Like “oh, you wear boots and a biker jacket? I like that…😏”. I always think, “so what?”. Especially if we just met. It’s like he’s weighing up whether to order me from a catalogue. The point is that I like it, you fool. That form of compliment lets me know immediately that he thinks sex and relationships is solely about him getting off.

I don’t mean if he says “oh, I like your outfit!”. It’s a very specific type of delivery that some men do that is basically code for “my penis is obviously the priority here”. If you’ve come across it, I’m sure you know the tone I mean.

East-Willingness513 · 2021-12-21T00:42:07+00:00

I’ve had “wow you’re really funny for a girl” my whole life. IMO women ARE funnier than men in general because our sense of humour doesn’t revolve around sex, toilet humour and the expense of a woman.

2340000 · 2021-12-20T22:49:14+00:00

I went on a date with a doctor and he was "surprised" that I knew a lot about his field. He kept saying, "wow, didn't expect you to know that"🙄🙄

Men like being condescending. They're hoping you'll jump through hoops for their approval.

vbych76 · 2021-12-21T01:25:46+00:00

"Wow, you have a lot of books. Have you read them all?" - It is a real vetting strategy. Only the ones, that never read, comment on this.

brylm92 · 2021-12-20T23:30:22+00:00

"You're actually really X." Smart, creative, whatever. Fuck you, I've blatantly been more X than you since the day we met.

Also

"Hot AND smart?? That's super rare for a woman." (from an ugly ass gamer guy on Tinder who asked me for evidence that I have a brain and then told me that school/grades don't count for anything (????) What evidence exactly did he want???

Double fuck you and your misogyny.

Confection_Efficient · 2021-12-21T05:07:09+00:00

My favorites one is “you look great for your age”. Grrr.

sassyheather · 2021-12-21T09:12:40+00:00

One of my exes called me “blowjob queen” and kept saying I was doing it like a porn star and he felt like in a porno movie 🤷🏻‍♀️

PinkBlair99 · 2021-12-20T22:33:14+00:00

Anything diminutive is SUUUPER off putting to me.

“Look at your cute little body!” Etc.

adventurelillypad · 2021-12-21T09:27:18+00:00

Omg I hate this

Also if anyone’s ever heard « you don’t know you’re hot » or « you don’t act like you’re hot » like ??? You think I have low self esteem or every attractive woman is insufferable lol?

TriggeredQuilt · 2021-12-21T04:36:14+00:00

Any back handed compliment the most common from black men being “I’m pretty for a black girl” take that self hate colourism somewhere else mate.

miloba_ · 2021-12-21T07:40:21+00:00

Usually a race-related “compliment” when I reveal my background.

Or the whole “you’re so exotic, what are you?” that just makes me queasy on the spot.

Heather619 · 2021-12-21T00:13:03+00:00

"You're too smart for a girl."

MissDesignDiva · 2021-12-21T02:41:57+00:00

Guys "complimenting" me for being "Low Maintenance" because I rarely wear much makeup at all. Quite frankly it's an insult, I'm a nail tech who always has a full set of acrylic nails on, and as for makeup, the only reason I've spent all of 2020 and the majority of 2021 makeup free is depression, that's not a good thing. I love wearing makeup, and my favorite part of makeup is lip colour (specifically the Cream Lip Stains from Sephora, love that they're matte and super long wearing) but with masks theres no point. I love eye makeup too but with masks + my glasses, the makeup smears off almost instantly, it's not worth it to use eye makeup these days, at least not for me.

aquietsword · 2021-12-20T22:35:51+00:00

Before absolutely everyone was talking about crypto, a guy mentioned he was into it. We had a short conversation about crypto/block chain and he was so surprised I was familiar with it. I guess other women just hate investing and making money in his wee little head or something?

meetme__atsunset · 2021-12-20T23:43:12+00:00

I am in my early 30's and admittedly have young-looking face (I look virtually the same facially as I did at ~18).

It bugs me when men compliment me on how young I look. Women will comment on my skincare, etc. but men seem to relish how juvenile my appearance can be. It just feels so sinister and gross.

asupernova91 · 2021-12-21T00:20:07+00:00

“Hi cutie” literally 🤮 even if you looked like Chris Hemsworth, and we’re a true HVM…don’t call me that.

xfelugirlx · 2021-12-21T01:00:05+00:00

The boys that ask too much and gave nothing in return. “But i have to tell you to go out or we stay” yes scrote you should plan dates and don’t put more stress into the woman you are interested. And some of us really are stressed and occupied during the week, we are not all mediocre students.

Or “you are so x not like my exs, you understand me blah blah” keep saying that and I’m going to block u

myeggsarebig · 2021-12-21T08:19:15+00:00

Most girls don’t look good with short hair, but you really rock it. (From my pixie cut days - they stayed far away when I shaved it…lol)

Constant-Wanderer · 2021-12-20T23:19:45+00:00

One “compliment” that I used to get all the time was that I “couldn’t possibly be from NYC, you look like you’re from the Midwest.” Then they would double down and tell me that I looked too wholesome to be a “real New Yorker.”

Bitch I’ve got a criminal record, I can drink you under the table, and I might yet steal your wallet.

I’m not wholesome, and I’m not from any state that begins and ends with a vowel, I’m wearing latex leggings, you moron. One guy actually said “you look corn fed” lol. I was like “does that work where you’re from?”

Fun_Sherbet · 2021-12-21T05:00:23+00:00

Holy shit do I feel seen by OP's example! Have experienced this on many occasions. I can say with full honesty that I have excellent taste in music. It's a passion of mine and one of my favorite things about myself, and something i'm known in my social circles for. Naturally I have enjoyed bonding with people over music. If only i had a nickel for every time a man reacted in the same way as OP's story.. the weird surprise on their face to deal with a woman who has a wide-ranging and comprehensive knowledge of different music? I've always gotten the impression that they simply don't expect "normal" women to be music nerds. Aka their false ideas of what women are and are not. Sigh.

Like, do they think we strictly listen to T Swift? (not dissing my Swifities)

chocolatelustpile · 2021-12-21T11:18:11+00:00

I love it when they say things like, "Wow, I I can't believe that you know how to change a tyre/paint houses/chaulk/tie knots/build a fire/put up a tent/use power tools. That's awesome!"

I always want to ask if they're impressed I can do it because they can't...

The best was when my flatmate insisted that he should repaint the hallway because he does things like that for work. I had the time and wanted to so I finally talked him into giving me the painting supplies (he kept them in his room because some of it was work stuff). He decided to do the bathroom the next day and ended up admitting that I did a better job than he did. I just replied with, "I know."

Title	A "compliment" that men need to stop using
Author	LeaveMeAlone__308
Upvotes	590
Comments	92
Date	December 20, 2021 10:02 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rkyeei/a_compliment_that_men_need_to_stop_using/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/a-compliment-that-men-need-to-stop-using.1091467 https://theredarchive.com/post/1091467

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