I am a slave.

BaldManlet · 2018-08-14T17:49:04+00:00

I can’t believe this happens today. This is conscious sexism.

Lennyisback81 · 2018-08-14T16:51:00+00:00

Have you heard of ADAM, American divorce association for men? It was on radio last year and they may be able to help.

foreverXking · 2018-08-14T15:31:16+00:00

I feel for you, buddy. Right there with you.

InformalCriticism · 2018-08-14T18:21:57+00:00

Similar situation. The court first protects itself from the mother, then it protects the mother from her feelings through benevolent sexism, and then they pat themselves on the back declaring they've done what's in the best interest of the child.

It is shameful and embarrassing that parents are treated this way by their own government.

BlueOrange22 · 2018-08-14T20:08:31+00:00

This is why "mens rights is not a thing" is so ignorant and narrow minded. This is why we need the MRM.

kam516 · 2018-08-14T21:29:58+00:00

Financial bondage is all too real. My net income after Child Support and insurance (for myself) is 20% of my gross. I am literally married to a woman so that I am not homeless. She is the provider and my ex wife is the collector. I am stuck withbeing married to a woman I don't love and give 40% of my wages to a woman I don't love in order to see and spend time with my children whom I love more than anything for about 60 hours a month.

I could divorce my current wife and become homeless as I cannot afford an apartment near my children. Or I could move away and never see my children. Or I can stay married and be miserable. I fully intend on filing for divorce once my children graduate high school and begin living my life (with what I will have left of my dignity and sanity) and maybe find a woman with whom I enjoy spending time with.

22 year of my life (prime years) will have been lost because of the system of financial bondage by the time this is over. I hope I will be able to salvage a shred of happiness and dignity after the fact, but I fear my mental health will deteriorate way before that time.

Terminal-Psychosis · 2018-08-14T19:30:43+00:00

Now imagine going to jail for not paying for a child that IS NOT YOURS.

Yes, this is the reality of our "modern" western world. :(

Lawyer up dude. If you ever have any kind of accident and cannot pay... it takes a LONG time for the courts to catch up.

They LOVE having more bodies for their for-profit prison system.

"Debtors's prison" is a brutal reality even in America today. and that is no joke.

Invicturion · 2018-08-14T20:00:46+00:00

This. This shit needs to fucking stop.. How can women be this fucking vindictive?! Yes i know not all women that get divorces are like that.

Here in Norway, if i was to divorce my wife, i wouldnt have to pay for HER living. But i would have to pay for our SONS living, but only if we dont share custody. But even here, men rarely get (until recently anyway) a 50/50 share. And that then forces the men to pay exorbarantly for their kids. Its like having to have to pay rent, just to see your kids. Luckily there was a law recently passed (this year i think) where the parents are automaticly given split custody 50/50!

Im so sorry for your situation buddy! The system of forced servitude you are in is archaic, cruel, and fucking horrendus!!

Imnotmrabut · 2018-08-14T17:50:42+00:00

So how many more years of indentured servitude do you have ahead of you?

Original_Dankster · 2018-08-14T19:29:36+00:00

I feel for you man. Never been there myself, thankfully got a vasectomy as a young man precisely because I never wanted to end up in a coercive situation over Mommy's Little Hostages.

Dave Foley got royally fucked in a similar way to you.

His child support was set while he was a multi-million dollar star, at the peak of his career. A comedian, but who then fell out of fashion. He literally has to be funny or go to jail. That's some medieval court-jester type bullshit.

It's fucking sick.

kevinlanefoster · 2018-08-14T20:08:05+00:00

Document everything going forward.

Backup all SMS messages
Record any/all phone calls (check your state to see if you need permission or not, but most do not).
Keep access to all emails.
Patience.
Always be the bigger person. ALWAYS.

Things will change. In my state, children are listened to much more seriously at 12.

wickedogg · 2018-08-14T20:16:25+00:00

I had a client who went through a divorce like that, lost custody, lost his house, lost his relationship with his kids, even went to jail.

In his second divorce case (I was representing him on a small contract case) he didn't give a fuck, he didn't even hire a lawyer, he stopped working and put in a claim for social security disability, he stopped paying all the bills so his property went into foreclosure, he fought every single issue in court and file a motion every week, he didn't pay for the kids lawyer, he didn't pay for the accountant his wife asked for from the court, and he complained about the judge to the judiciary committee and to the head judge. He was very happy all the time about screwing everyone over and giving everyone a hard time. He didn't care what happened to all his stuff because he knew that at least if he lost everything it wouldn't go to his ex. His kids still liked him because he was in a good mood and his relationship with them survived because he wasn't angry and bitter all the time. Even the judge realized that there was nothing they could do to him because he wasn't hiding any money they could get, he had just let everything burn to the ground so he couldn't get fucked out of it.

Your ex and the court care about your money way more than you or your kids. Go to a psychiatrist and tell them you can't handle the stress, tell your boss you can only work 3 days a week, take your kids to do awesome fun stuff every weekend and spend all your money. Sell all your property and use the money to buy fun stuff for you and your kids.

Make your life enjoyable without hiding any money or intentionally trying to screw your wife out of the child support. If you don't have the money to pay the child support any more, then file for a modification.

They can only make you a slave if you accept their model of the situation where you are powerful one and mom is the victim. Turn it around by admitting to yourself that they fucked up your life. The mom and the court beat you and you are defeated. Act like you are defeated. Take that shit hard. Get counseling, fail at your job, spend your money on frivolous shit to cheer yourself up. You can't win the fight, so stop fighting their fight and enjoy your life instead.

Sawses · 2018-08-14T20:15:37+00:00

Why isn't this a slam dunk case, OP? The fact that you can prove that the courts thought it best to give you full custody of one child on account of abuse means you should at least be getting 50/50 with most of the kids. It sounds like the judge was punishing you for asking for full custody--appeal at least that overnight stay, to get back to where you were.

Xechorizo · 2018-08-14T18:00:05+00:00

My dad was in this situation. My siblings chose the neglect and borderline personality disorder of my mother. I chose to live with dad with some occasional anger issues.Twenty years later, they're now single parents with middle school educations and mental health issues. I got married this week, own two homes, own my car, and make six figures.

Do everything you can for them. Don't be a divisive parent, even if your ex is. It will be hard, but there will be successes along with the failures. I'm eternally grateful for everything my father did in spite of constant opposition.

TheImpossible1 · 2018-08-14T16:11:59+00:00

OP remember there are helplines if you need them. The world would be worse without you.

TheSelfishGenie · 2018-08-14T18:34:30+00:00

There was a guy here claiming alimony didn’t even exist anymore just yesterday. How much are you forced to pay? Sorry about your situation. Wish I could help. Other men: don’t get married!

Bingosnips · 2018-08-14T19:56:07+00:00

I'm not in this situation but my best friend/old roommate ended up knocking up his, now ex, girlfriend. She's got several diagnosed mental disorders and is pretty unstable but regardless the court wouldn't give him anymore than weekends with his kid but she moved away soon after the birth so the kid is four hours away now, making it hard to visit once a week. The Mother has no job and lives at home with her parents who pay for everything and take the kid to Disney like every couple of weeks.

Regardless of the Mother paying little to nothing to raise the child, he's still going to have to pay child support. Since she makes nothing it's looking like he's about to have a significant portion of his income taken from him for the next 18 years. It's not like he doesn't pay either, he tried to settle with her out of court but she wanted more than he was willing to provide. Mostly because she wants to send the kid to a fancy VPK that costs 800 something a month.

It's just insane, I'm so happy I haven't fallen into this situation.

erypto · 2018-08-14T19:40:48+00:00

The more I read about you older men, the more I think /r/MGTOW is the way to go...

TheMythof_Feminism · 2018-08-14T19:25:18+00:00

I am a slave.

I've been saying that for years but manginas, feminists and white knights constantly claim that "That isn't slavery! That's just.... forced work for the express benefit of another , done through state muscle, which will imprison you if you fail to comply." aka slavery.

Alimony should be abolished altogether and child support needs to be HEAVILY axed. About 20% of the current value should be enough.

2018-08-14T20:00:22+00:00

There isn't anything we can do. It's like watching beautiful America die right in front of me.

This is not what our founding fathers wanted. No one wanted an unfair system. Centuries of effort went into making the system fair and its still not.

Just fucking depressing.

Whisper · 2018-08-14T16:57:18+00:00

You were a slave the moment you got married. What happened now is simply that your owners switched you from house nigger to field nigger.

Hirudin · 2018-08-14T19:00:53+00:00

Imagine you are a carpenter, and you build chairs. It takes you 10 hours to make a chair.

Now imagine a man holds a gun to your head and demands that you build a chair for him.

Now imagine that a man walks up to you with a gun after you have finished making a chair and demands that you give it to him.

Now imagine that a man walks up to you with a gun after you have sold the chair and demands that you give him the money that you made from the sale.

In the first case, the man with the gun clearly enslaved you. In the other two his actions resulted in the same effect for you. You were robbed of 10 hours of your life and the labor your performed, and have been enslaved ex-post-facto.

2018-08-15T02:55:07+00:00

I actually wanted to go to law school so that I could help fathers like you. You would not imagine the amount of hate I got from people for that. No one can imagine that men have things tough and the fact that I wanted to help them was outlandish to them. I even had a few people tell me that it was sexist of me to do so. Men like you need help, courts in general disproportionately hurt men, but family courts are significantly worse.

omegaphallic · 2018-08-14T20:02:04+00:00

Marriage reduces men to property, it's a vile institution.

Rando9124 · 2018-08-14T20:57:27+00:00

Child support and taxes are so rigged inthese situations too. A friend of mine has his son 40.8% of the time and the mother has him the rest. So my friend pays the mother child support. The thing is, he had the kid basically 50 percent of the time and covers all expenses on that time. So he is already paying 50% of the time. Then he pays the mother child support. So he is finacially supporting that kid about 70-75%...

T Hey had a court arrangement all signed and legal where they each claimed the son on taxes every other year. The mother is Indian on paper so she gets free insurance. She put the kid on it and then went to court and the court said, whoever has the kid on insurance gets to claim the kid every year completely ignoring insurance didn't cost her a dime.

fickle_fuck · 2018-08-14T20:48:48+00:00

Preach! I have one and my ex pulled vindictive crap left and right. I can only imagine what it is like with four. Just remember you won't be a slave for forever. I wish more young men (including myself at the time) realized this before tying the knot.

Dr_Bishop · 2018-08-14T20:52:42+00:00

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap!!!

(sadly this seems like the most logical solution)

Drezzzire · 2018-08-14T22:55:46+00:00

Dude, I can’t express how sorry I am for what you’re going through.

This is exactly why men’s rights need to be addressed

The sexism involved in family court is astonishing

Men are wallets-point blank

I wish I could help you man I really do

Fatdad1986 · 2018-08-14T23:51:58+00:00

Fathers Rights Movement! Look them up in your state. There is a HUGE number of support from free legal services to support groups.

They helped me keep my daughter and my life.

EvidencePlz · 2018-08-15T04:05:03+00:00

idiots who say slavery doesn't exist anymore simply should look at the modern marriage system aka legalized prostitution

Murgie · 2018-08-14T18:45:32+00:00

If someone kidnaps your children do you agree to keep paying them money for children you never get back? Think about it. I'd get my passport in order, sell everything, live in my car and the gym, stop paying a penny, buy nothing but crypto until the hammer falls. Then disappear. Thailand is nice this time of year :-)

spencteer · 2018-08-14T19:51:56+00:00

Being a teenage male, and seeing this exact thing happen in my own family and then hearing how common this situation actually is, scares me. Eventually I want to start a family, but what if something happens that puts me in this situation? I'm just scared for what might happen.

My condolences, OP, and I hope that the tables will turn and you will be freed from this situation! Much love.

shoothesun · 2018-08-14T20:56:19+00:00

This is terrible. It honestly FUCKING DISGUSTS ME when feminists are acting like they have a hard life as an overprivileged piece of shit. I seriously never want to get married due to the amount of shit like this that I have read. This justice system needs to be fixed. Stay strong dude.

TheImpossible1 · 2018-08-14T16:11:13+00:00

My comments keep disappearing.

One last attempt.

I'm so sorry about what happened to you OP, hang in there, it will get better.

To all those who haven't been used by them, go MGTOW.

Don't cohabitate, marry or have kids.

Don't even get into relationships if you can avoid it.

Don't take unnecessary risks. If you need to have sex, get consent in written form over text. Make sure you use protection and dispose of it away from her house so you can't get sperm jacked.

Palerthanghosts · 2018-08-14T21:33:54+00:00

I'm so, so sorry to hear that... I hope one day you can have your children back. The system is so unfairly skewed toward favoring women...

zepha121 · 2018-08-14T21:39:01+00:00

Sorry to hear brother, fuck the justice system

drillerboy · 2018-08-14T22:31:40+00:00

I can't relate, but alot of my mates are going through this bullshit, stay strong dude

trollyew · 2018-08-14T22:32:16+00:00

Become and expat if it gets too bad.

Mysonking · 2018-08-14T22:57:52+00:00

I Have been also through a tough divorce. Believe me there is light a the end of the tunnel. Keep on fighting for your kids

jamesdanton · 2018-08-15T00:15:35+00:00

I'm so sorry. All I want to be is a Dad but all the women who have gone through my life have been awful and it's only been my being vigilance and a lot of luck that I am not in your place. Western civilization is lost, we are actively disincentivizing reproduction and punishing people who have. It's sick.

therottingbard · 2018-08-15T01:20:36+00:00

I remember telling the court that I did not want to live with my mother because I was afraid of her. Not only did they award her custody of me, only allowing me to see my father one weekend every two weeks, but they drew up some bullshit agreement that I couldn't live with my father tell I was 18.

hectorduenas86 · 2018-08-15T02:00:19+00:00

And one of the worst feelings is that the person that keeps you away from your children is a person that once you loved and trusted enough as to have a child and get married

2018-08-15T03:34:26+00:00

Same thing happened with my parents. My mother has full custody, but she was such a narcissistic bitch (lots of stories to tell) that I moved in with my dad full time. But she still gets child support every month, and uses it to drink wine in an apartment she can't afford.

hotpotato70 · 2018-08-15T03:36:49+00:00

Not a slave, just an indentured servant

FemaleIsEasyMode · 2018-08-15T10:21:12+00:00

Sorry to hear it. When you finally get to stop paying support is probably when she will hand your sons over. It is surprising that you have custody of your daughter because your ex was abusive but not your sons as well. Guess the court doesn't care that boys may suffer abuse

azazelcrowley · 2018-08-14T20:20:35+00:00

Keep that gleeful message from the ex to show your kids as adults just so they understand the situation, unless it wasn't on a recorded medium, but i'm sure you can find some shit.

eccepiscinam · 2018-08-14T21:50:21+00:00

wrap it before you tap it and be careful who you knock up/marry

sanderson22 · 2018-08-14T22:41:16+00:00

What's realistically the best way to have a family without risk like this? Just dont get married? Or meet a woman who isnt American? Im asking literally what the best option is.

aquaquintiple · 2018-08-14T18:39:04+00:00

Here for you man, the court system is complete bullshit.

BennieTheGreat00 · 2018-08-15T04:19:32+00:00

And feminists still complain and wonder why men get paid more than women.

Sorry to hear about your predicament.

MT-X_307 · 2018-08-14T20:43:23+00:00

I don’t know were you live but here in the UK , how hard would it be to get a demonstration, which might be the only thing I would go to with real support, Although I do feel like men have a harder time doing these sort of things unlike women who are more connected.

PacotheBold · 2018-08-14T20:49:53+00:00

God Damn, you nailed it! That's exactly how I felt.

2018-08-14T22:03:34+00:00

Sorry you gotta go through this shit my dude.
Endure though, for the kids; stay optimistic, karma is a bitch.

turbulance4 · 2018-08-14T22:25:59+00:00

I'm right there with you... Almost. Had my day in court about 2 months ago, still waiting for the ruling. You can share your story over at r/fathersforcustody if you like. PM if you wanna talk.

ky_biker · 2018-08-14T22:56:04+00:00

you should be getting a full 4-6 weeks over the summer.

Bestoftherest222 · 2018-08-14T23:27:20+00:00

OP did you do a DNA test?

ToXicL0gic · 2018-08-14T23:58:14+00:00

I feel you man, that's a rough situation and it's totally, completely, utterly ingrained into our justice system, to the gleeful happiness of the most spiteful and selfish women on earth. I'm in a similar spot, I definitely feel ya. Hang in there.

grandmasbroach · 2018-08-15T00:03:51+00:00

Right there with you buddy. Don't know how I still do it some days. Shit man, at least you have overnights. 3 years later and I'm still fighting to get my daughter more than 1 day a week for 7 hours.

Something has to change. This is literally killing men. If they don't kill themselves, they are basically forced to what amounts to the only debt that can still send you to jail. You know, like debtors prisons? Which, have been illegal for how many centuries now? Sometimes I don't know how I, or guys like me, keep finding the strength to wake up everyday and keep living. I'd be lying if I said suicide hasn't crossed my mind many times. The family courts have literally taken everything I care about from me. I have nothing left to give. I'm a walking atm for a women who lied to the court to get custody. Even when I had absolute, undeniable proof she lied, the courts didn't even want to look at it. It's soooo fucked up words can't even describe it.

yungbeez · 2018-08-15T00:04:13+00:00

No disrespect, but did you see any warns signs or anything from this person before this bad situation? Trying to make sure I don’t marry into something like this. Good luck man keep your head up. And good for you for being an amazing dad still. It will all be worth it.

rezplzk · 2018-08-15T01:17:55+00:00

Hey mate - condolences and hugs.

Appeal appeal appeal. Your kids deserve better than her. They need a good role model, not a POS human.

Your kind of story should inspire all humans to change the system.

AnxiousBasterd · 2018-08-15T01:29:31+00:00

My fucking mother abandoned me and my other 4 siblings when I was around 10. She never explained or looked back. I always used my uncle's used shirts to school since I never had new clothes, perhaps my a jeans on my birthday that I would use the entire year. She never considered I needed clothes. She died of cancer and I did not even go to her burial.

Just saying, better a slave than this shit that gets buried alone.

pike91 · 2018-08-15T02:09:45+00:00

I'm right there with you brother. Mid 50's, with two boys in their teens that I pay for. Questions for you if you don't mind - I don't know where you are, and I know that different states have different regulations:

1 > how did a motion for change of custody turn into a recalculation of overnights from the current schedule? Did your ex-wife file a counter petition or something? Did the judge just take it upon them self to modify the current schedule? I ask because where I am there have been appellate court reversals of orders when the judge took it upon themselves to change the standing visitation when someone wasn't explicitly asking for it to be changed. I realize that you were asking for a change of custody, but the I would think that the worst outcome would be for them to simply tell you no - not that they would modify the current schedule downwards.

2 > in the order you received, did the judge document the reasoning why they thought it in the best interests of the kids to modify? If so, could you give us a synopsis of the reasoning?

3 > was this in Juvenile court, or straight civil (domestic) court?

everythingiswrong911 · 2018-08-15T03:36:49+00:00

I know this sounds crazy but leave the country.

Ak47110 · 2018-08-15T03:37:37+00:00

I'm saving this post. Keep being the good father you are. Your kids are going to grow up and see and remember that.

SuperbCrawdad2 · 2018-08-15T05:34:47+00:00

This is a modern day human rights abuse

2018-08-15T13:14:56+00:00

My brother is going through this same situation, I had to make sure you weren't him at first. The only difference is that he has two girls and two boys, he get's two weekends a month and is getting killed in child support and alimony while having to deal with games for seeing his kids. He loves his kids but life is tough, he was laid off and had to go to court to show the lower income he had, the judge still tried to use his average income for five years to state he should be making x amount and didn't want to lower the payments. The kicker is she cheated on him with his best friend since grade school.

xnesteax · 2018-08-15T13:43:18+00:00

/r/mgtow

_ReaverBreeder_ · 2018-08-15T15:29:24+00:00

I hate the fact that women are automatically believed to be the better parent. In my case, it's true, but it's not always. Women aren't always the victim.

Take, for instance, the fact that my neighbours are constantly screaming at each other. My initial reaction was to be disgusted that a man would scream at a woman in the manner he was. One day, I was in my backyard and had no choice but to listen (I don't like to pay attention to other peoples business, but it was hard not to) and I realised it started with her yelling abusively nonstop until he finally became so frustrated he screamed back, telling her to shut up, he was sick of the neighbours calling the cops.. Don't get me wrong, he is an arse, too, but she was often the instigator.

I'm disgusted that I automatically thought she was a victim and needed help.

I truly hope you are able to be with your children and you see a judge who is not biased. Good luck 💕

GreatBayTemple · 2018-08-21T03:43:39+00:00

Yo, I am never having kids in America. It just looks like such a loss for the male. Holy fuck.

XFX_Samsung · 2018-08-14T19:20:03+00:00

Glad you noticed. Tad late though :/

2018-08-14T19:59:57+00:00

2018-08-14T22:20:49+00:00

Deliver that speech to your fucking whore if a judge

throwaway_ftb · 2018-08-15T03:16:17+00:00

fucking hell. childless and unmarried men please go mgtow, im sick to my stomach of this discrimination against men. If u werent married or cohabitating u cant be ordered to pay alimony, if u dont have children u cant be forced to pay child support. IF U R A MAN U WILL ALWAYS LOSE!

ithinkoutloudtoo · 2018-08-14T19:46:02+00:00

And this is why you NEVER get married without a prenup.

drops_of_Sunshine · 2018-08-15T03:54:43+00:00

When my mom divorced my asshole of a father, she didn't come for child support. The courts did give it to her when they figured out he hadn't started paying. He technically owes it back for the years he didn't pay but she doesn't pursue it now that my brother is an adult. She was abused by him, but she wants him to get on with his life. I don't understand these women that gleefully take a man for literally everything. The most heartbreaking story in my life is the guy that was raped while sleeping that now pays for a son he will never know. The boy is in kindergarten now.

You are right. You are a slave. And this may not make a shit, but you deserve to know: I am very sorry this has happened to you. Good men shouldn't be punished for being good Father's by the greedy state and ex wives. It's so awful. My condolences to you, and your burden, and your children. Please keep fighting for them, they need you.

MatrixAdmin · 2018-08-15T12:58:15+00:00

I know it's tough, but the most important thing is that you love your children. Using the word "slave" to describe your situation is not healthy. Anyone who has children has a responsibility to provide for them and do their very best to raise them in a very difficult society. Remember that you still have it much better than a lot of people around the world. It's easy to think we have a difficult life, but compared to who? There are people all around the world who have it far worse off than you do. Personally, I have found it very helpful to focus on appreciating what I have been blessed with in my life. Take it one day at a time. If you have work, be thankful for that, at least you aren't homeless, at least you are earning some income. You have children, a lot of people don't or can't and would literally give or do anything just to have children, even in your situation. Also, remember, time flies, before you know it, all of your kids will be in their 30's and you will be wishing you could go back in time to this very moment and do things differently. Try to get that future hindsight perspective. Your kids are just kids now, remember when you were a kid and what made you happy. Try to create as many happy moments and special memories for yourself and your children to cherish for the future. But stay present in the moment, one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Every second you are alive and breathing on this planet is a moment to be thankful for. Right at this very second there are people struggling with unimaginable problems, health problems, victims of abuse or criminal activity, including countless actual human slaves including young children forced into horrible situations. I don't mean to depress you, but it's important to remain objective and put your situation into proper perspective in the global picture. It's easy for us in our first world society to take for granted the fact that the vast majority of our essential needs are met. For the most part, we are safe, healthy, not starving and alive. At least you didn't grow up in a jungle full of spiders, snakes and tigers like many thousands of other people living today and millions in past generations.

Sardonislamir · 2018-08-14T22:37:35+00:00

Hey man, I feel for you. You said it, right, you are there for your kids. See if it is possible to contest the decisions immediately or at a later date or whatever legal term they use. However it goes for such, remember, your kids need you and your love.

If you need someone to talk to: 1-800-273-8255
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Don't feel that you have to handle your stress alone. We feel trapped when we think there is nobody to turn to for help. So please reach out to others, even if they don't seem the right fit, they likely can direct you to organizations that are. IE: The number above, you might resist, but they could at least help with resources to manage your stress right now.

DokiDokiSister · 2018-08-14T22:57:37+00:00

next life: do not fuck.

HierEncore · 2018-08-15T03:28:45+00:00

We are all slaves, kids or no kids. You still have to pay rent, because sleeping or lounging in public is illegal, you have to pay for water, because the rivers and lakes have been polluted. You have to pay a lot of money for food, because natural sources have been overexploited.

You just have a little bit of a greater bondage than the rest of us do... you have to come up with more money.. a LOT more money... to continue to live. It's a little bit like student loans.. no way out but work or lead.

Loki-87 · 2018-08-15T00:16:55+00:00

How did your Ex get the Court decision before you? You're the Petitioner. Was there a Hearing? Something doesn;t seem right

benderXX · 2018-08-15T00:55:09+00:00

We need to be more public about this as men. It’s great to support each other here but we have to find ways to talk in public about these subjects

We need to draw more women who support us on the absurd state of affairs including mothers. Especially moms who have sons who have the risk of being dragged in the courts and their lives damaged or destroyed

theDmc231 · 2018-08-15T04:06:06+00:00

If you didn't sign the judge's order nothing has changed

IANVS · 2018-08-15T08:12:27+00:00

Shit like that (plus the rise of PC/SJW/feminist madness) is one of the reasons I've decided not to have kids (I'm 40). I may sound selfish or shortsighted or whatever but I don't want to bring children into this world. I find it disgusting as it is and it's only going to get worse, especially if you're a white male. Growing up as a kid with devorced parents didn't help either.

If I meet a woman I can get along with and she happens to have kids of her own, it's fine, I'll do my best to be a good father to them. But it sickens me to think what my son would have to through or me if I end up with a wrong woman...Think of it what you will.

samwalton1982 · 2018-08-15T08:43:28+00:00

Just do what I do. My ex never even sees our kids. She now owes me 60,000 dollars in child support and will never live a normal life until she pays me back.

The kids will probably hate me when they are older and visit her more b cause she will lie to them, but I k ow I raised them and she is a worthless pile of garbage.

Surtysurt · 2018-08-15T09:00:22+00:00

Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll die or get remarried

randomisedmind · 2018-08-15T09:44:21+00:00

Did you consider asking r/legaladvice

They could help

Zafriti · 2018-08-15T10:17:20+00:00

How much is 3 kids costing you each month? What's the child support payment?

2018-08-15T11:54:18+00:00

And this is why I'll never marry and never have kids

2018-08-15T12:34:38+00:00

As someone who went through 18 years of this. Countless thousands of dollars, over 125 motions in court, only to have his kid turn in to her mother. I feel you.

I can tell you this, there's a day where you will send your last check. That day is coming. When it does this will all fade in to memory.

Stay strong, brother. You're one among many.

Rethgil · 2018-08-15T23:11:30+00:00

Brilliant comment and something I've been trying to show for years. Men are slaves but get treated like dogs in society.

Women are treated like victims of men but actually lead lives of utter luxury by comparison.

There needs to be a revolution of thought to upend this backwards situation.

Rethgil · 2018-08-15T23:13:23+00:00

.#HeToo

Annon3 · 2018-08-16T02:52:13+00:00

this sub just makes my cry, because this is just terrifying

BernieSandersgirl101 · 2018-08-19T10:28:58+00:00

Mate. I'm very sorry. It isn't fair. It's not. Why does this happen?!

2018-08-27T18:55:33+00:00

The term is #femalepriviledge. Wait your time out the way the power swing is going females will implode by the year 2021. Grabs a beer n Pulls a front row chair up to watch. Stay strong bro, you’re a good man.

SomePerson111222333 · 2018-08-15T01:05:38+00:00

I know what your going through is hard but you shouldn't be so dramatic about it, treating your situation like its the end of the world is a baseless exaggeration(and those are to always be avoided.) and will likely not help you out one bit and may make things worse.

RainbowsOfNight · 2018-08-14T22:27:23+00:00

If the mother is abusive, how the hell does she have any sort of custody of your children? Or did you mean to imply that was overlooked/ignored in your daughter's testimony?

rawbface · 2018-08-14T19:57:26+00:00

What is happening to this sub?

This is a really sad story, and absolutely the reason I came here to begin with. Men should have equal parental rights, and being ordered to pay child support while being denied custody for no good reason is atrocious.

But these comments are beyond toxic.

When did this sub become anti-marriage, anti-women, and pro-trump?

ILoveToEatLobster · 2018-08-14T20:21:48+00:00

A bullet is pretty cheap. Just sayin' lol

RandomlyJim · 2018-08-15T00:12:41+00:00

It’s not slavery. It’s responsibility.

Hating your ex-wife doesn’t mean that your kids become cost free. Children are expensive as you know because your daughter is in your home and you’re paying for her day to day expenses.

It sucks that your wife and you split up. It sucks that you don’t have more custody. It sucks that you lost your overnight visits. It sucks that your paycheck doesn’t 100% go to you and your wants.

But your child support is to pay the cost of providing for your kids. Just like it would have had you continued to share a roof.

Brother, stop with the pity party. Go get fit, get snipped, and fuck your way through the phone book. Find ways to have fun with the kids while they are with you and enjoy the time you have with your daughter.

420Batman · 2018-08-14T22:31:58+00:00

I'm ready for the controversy, but here we go: You put yourself in this situation by picking a terrible partner, and you're almost 100% at fault.

You knew the risks, consequences, and had probably years of opportunity to opt out, and chose not to. You're not a slave, you asked for this. You had kids with a bad person, and you're a major factor in the blame.

bljak · 2018-08-14T22:15:29+00:00

You decided to have 4 kids, you decided to marry someone who is mentally challenged, you decided to to have kids with that person. You are not a slave you just made a commitment and, now, well , you gotta be accountable. It's not fair to make yourself into a victim when you made bunch of poor decisions.

Vandechoz · 2018-08-14T23:40:09+00:00

Suicide is looking better and better every day

iProbablyJustWokeUp · 2018-08-15T13:04:02+00:00

Ironic, you want to preach about victim complex but worry about what society’s definition of being a man is?

You have the nerve to say I have a victim complex? Are you thick in the skull? I’m a huge advocate for men’s rights, but I draw the line at comparing a consensual marriage to any slave being born into slavery.

I agree it’s strongly biased towards women but insane comments like that (even if to drive a point) ain’t gonna help our case.

SilverRitter · 2018-08-14T19:12:43+00:00

The only difference is: you chose to be a slave.

2018-08-15T07:52:50+00:00

That's what you get for marrying someone in the first place idiot

SiberianPalm · 2018-08-14T22:33:37+00:00

As much as I agree with this... you did vow to and marry someone. It’s things such as this for why I will not get married (25f), and I just imagine why it’s so hard for people to just.. not get married..?

Also childfree :)

chaveznieves · 2018-08-14T18:37:20+00:00

You are only a slave if you allow your self to be

realvmouse · 2018-08-14T19:17:26+00:00

I highly doubt this is a significant factor in male homicide or suicide.

This is a bad situation, though of course we can't know what evidence the judge was using to make his decision. Sorry for that.

Would you support more social services, supported by taxation, so that our society can spread the cost of children separated from their income-winning parents? I think that would be a good idea, though the devil is in the details of course.

Title	I am a slave.
Author	vrblpolushin
Upvotes	2778
Comments	456
Date	August 14, 2018 3:26 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/979aon/i_am_a_slave/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-am-a-slave.896177 https://theredarchive.com/post/896177

Comments