I would think this is common sense, but I'm getting tired of people treating sex as the end-all-be-all of relationships. Like "Sex is a need" and "Men communicate love through sex", other BS statements like that.
"You're saying sex and passion should NEVER EVER EVER EVER be in a relationship?!"No. I'm saying if that's your only priorities, you're better off with fuckbuddies.
In case I needed to show some evidence for what I'm saying. Study found the good communication was a stronger correlation for relationship satisfaction and stability than quality of sex.
Anecdotal, but I've also seen this with couples I knew, mainly friends. The friends who had relationships based on fucking, excitement, "passion", living in the moment etc had the worst breakups, the biggest losers, and got cheated on the most. The "super boring" friends I have that had their minds more on the future and "with held sex" from their boyfriends for months had more stable relationships, more amicable breakups, and have longer lasting relationships than the former group.
This also is why I shrug off people showing me r/DeadBedrooms because a lot of the posts I see there had obvious red flags in their relationship (like the person was a massive asshole) but the situtation was only addressed as a problem once the sex stopped. Is a shitty relationship really worth a good nut? Really?
Let's not forget passion is very fleeting. I would not trust a person who makes big decisions on a whim. I'm certain that person is impulsive and that's definitely not a trait in a long term lover that you'd want.
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This is bordering on slut-shaming if you gender-swapped the statement
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Come on, we both know that's not what slut-shaming is. Slut shaming causes women to internalize shame about their own sexual desires. It creates the madonna-whore complex in society, women who view sex as something they give to a man instead of a mutual interaction, a society that frames women who pursue sex and relationships as less than.
Though I understand your interpretation is meant to be an attack on some of the men that frequent this subreddit based on their viewpoints. But yes, there are men here who will frame a hypothetical woman as a slut due to their envy of the men that woman might sleep with.
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I believe there's a hierarchy. You can't have one without the other. First and foremost, there must be passion. If both parties aren't incredibly attracted to the other, it won't work. Second, commitment. Third, communication. Each builds on top of the other. There can be no commitment without passion and no amount of passion will fix cheating.
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What does that have to do with anything I said?
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