Dating is prostitution.

Normalsasquatch · 2025-09-02T16:58:02+00:00

The thing is one of the "things" exchanged is emotions. That's what makes it not prostitution. Of course there are lots of parallels, because it's two humans potentially coming together and having sex, but for one there's a monetary transaction for sex. For the other there's emotions and mutual desire.

attendquoi · 2025-09-02T16:44:11+00:00

I'm not buying your intent to label non-monetary transactions as prostitution.

Environmental_Day558 · 2025-09-02T17:03:54+00:00

If your definition of prostitution is narrowed down to simply exchanging resources for access, then almost everything in life is prostitution, not just dating.

Me going to work is prostitution. I'm exchanging my time, knowledge and service for a paycheck every 2 weeks.

Me helping a friend move is prostitution. I'm exchanging my time and strength for a box of pizza and a beer.

Me owning a cat is prostitution. I'm exchanging food and shelter for them to sit there and look at me judgingly all day and occasional pets.

I could go on. Another thing is that you apply this though process to "modern dating", but if you look at courtship in the past it was more akin to prositution than today. The upper class who were married didn't do it for love at all and had little choice. It was to keep families in power and land ownership mostly. The lower class people often chose who they wanted, but it often still involved the man sending a dowry of money or livestock to the woman's family.

You're also implying that dating is one sided, the ideal situation is that both parties would be exchanging value for intimacy with each other. If you are in a relationship where one is exchanging "cash to time, attention, status, gifts, trips" and the other is just offering intimacy, that is a sugar situation.

poopoopeepeecrusader · 2025-09-02T16:57:35+00:00

Your profile is full of porn. No wonder why you think that

the_1st_inductionist · 2025-09-02T17:01:50+00:00

You’re conflating a material trade with a psychological one.

A material trade is like when you buy stuff from Amazon. You give Amazon money. Amazon gives you a TV. The mutual benefit is primarily material and it doesn’t particularly matter who each of you are as long as you’re not murderers.

A psychological trade is like when you’re in a romantic relationship. It’s an exchange of admiration, love, inspiration, accurate validation etc. The mutual benefit is primarily psychological. Who you are and who the other person is matters a lot.

Prostitution is when you’ve turned sex or a relationship from a psychological trade into a material trade. Yeah, some people do that in dating. But most? I doubt it.

Ok_Isopod308 · 2025-09-02T17:54:20+00:00

Nah my gf and I just love each other and are normal. This post is weird as hell.

YeaNobody · 2025-09-02T17:04:17+00:00

I mean there are plenty of toxic people that would inspire this level of thinking...but then there are women who don't need any of this. In conclusion...life is a hideous mess and there are some diamonds in the rough beneath the muck in which most people will never find.

happyfunball5 · 2025-09-02T17:10:33+00:00

Assuming you're right (I don't), all relationships involve giving and taking. What's gained by using an inflammatory word like prostitution to describe them?

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-09-02T17:13:43+00:00

Bros really think dudes only go on dates JUST to get laid, and that’s it.

Bruh, sometimes it’s fun to go out and do something, something fun.

maj_nun · 2025-09-02T18:05:52+00:00

This is neither the first nor the last post about calling dating prostitution/"all women are prostitutes" and none of these posts have been more profound or useful than the last.

Also, believe it or not, women also like sex. They don't "give" sex in return for stability or whatever whatnot. They just do it because it's enjoyable when you have a partner that makes you feel good

SexCrispies · 2025-09-03T06:55:55+00:00

How about you exchange time for time, gifts for gifts, attention for attention and sex for sex?

themfluencer · 2025-09-02T17:46:22+00:00

In that case, hanging out with a friend is just like hiring a consultant.

ViolentShallot · 2025-09-02T20:30:02+00:00

No. Loads of fallacies here.

Dating is the mutual spending of time to figure out if you're willing to go into a relationship with someone.

If you really wanted to make a monetary simile, a relationship would be akin to a business partnership.

Prostitution has nothing to do with dating OR being in a relationship.

"But both cost stuff"

The moment you consider "time" as a cost, then EVERYTHING costs "stuff"

growframe · 2025-09-02T17:52:11+00:00

Change the payment from cash to time, attention, status, gifts, trips, and legal commitments, and society suddenly finds it ok.

That's because it's a huge reach. You can't just play 6 degrees of separation between concepts to arrive at the conclusion that everything is the same as everything. That's not how words work.

Fortesano · 2025-09-02T19:33:42+00:00

I noticed people frequently overlook the opportunity cost that comes with the time invested in dating.

Secret_Worlder1992 · 2025-09-02T20:59:14+00:00

For hot guys, dating is dating - as in actual romance. For ugly guys, yeah, "dating" is just a form of prostitution with extra steps.

Accomplished_Scale10 · 2025-09-03T13:23:47+00:00

You’re saying the quiet part out loud.

Solondthewookiee · 2025-09-02T16:45:55+00:00

Prostitution is the direct exchange of value for sexual access.

What value did I get in exchange for my wife to get sexual access to me?

Damn_thats_tufff · 2025-09-02T17:09:06+00:00

If this is your outlook on dating please stay faaaaaaar away from people you’re interested in.

Mrmonster225 · 2025-09-02T16:57:02+00:00

Come on this is getting ridiculous

Chiron008 · 2025-09-02T17:15:39+00:00

Complete these sentences:

Prostitution is the direct exchange of value for sexual access for the goal of ____?

Dating is the indirect exchange of value or intimacy and eventual access is for the goal of ____?

alwaysright0 · 2025-09-02T17:47:00+00:00

Men are prostitutes when they date?

Interesting.

Cool-Mixture-4123 · 2025-09-02T18:47:45+00:00

This is all hysteria. If you don't actually enjoy dating meeting people as an activity worth spending a few bucks on, you have unrealistic expectations.

If you are the asker and name the place, then pay. If you think that involves quid pro quo for anything its delusional

Its only an interview if you make it one, or allow it to be one, that's on you. A date should have just enough background beforehand, and be about a vibe.

The idea of bullet points cmon, I'd assume you know how to be an adult interacting with adults. Otherwise can't blame the "man" for his bad decisions

Background-Pain-7159 · 2025-09-02T16:50:46+00:00

Prostitution is the direct exchange of value for sexual access. Dating is the indirect exchange of value for intimacy and eventual sexual access.

so you yourself don't even belief your statement that dating is prostitution. It being indirect means that there is something else that makes it different from regular prostitution.

Now that we've established that its indirect,

What makes it different from prostitution?

Because its not a career for some women. No matter how rich a dude is, if he doesn't have something that makes the woman like him on some level higher than monetary, the relationship will never work.

This post heavily implies that women only love men for their money which just isn't the case.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2025-09-02T17:43:13+00:00

Dating isn’t prostitution because a woman giving you the time of day is what is exchanged not sex. I know many men wish dating was prostitution because dating is cheaper than paying for an actual prostitute but the odds of a man getting laid form just dating is slim to none assuming the woman agrees to the date and actually goes on the date. Most men should just save up their money and go pay an actual prostitute 1-2 times a year because that’s all they can afford and the only way they will get laid.

Advanced-Ad8490 · 2025-09-02T17:59:15+00:00

So you're suggesting that no one should have sex? And that we shouldn't date? Because prostitution is an immoral act?

The-Cherry-On-Top-xx · 2025-09-02T18:20:11+00:00

Pregnancy is a huge emotional and physical investment for women. Women can die from childbirth.

I dont understand why expecting a male to put in effort to be with a woman is villified.

MrTTripz · 2025-09-02T19:30:22+00:00

I don’t see it.

I’ve (male) been in about half a dozen long term relationships over the years (now married), and in none of those have I been the provider.

I’ve always split the bill with my partners. Always split the rent.

I’ve never bought gifts that were more expensive than what I was bought.

Even now, married, I earn roughly equal to my wife. We split the bills.

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WalrusExcellent5686 · 2025-09-02T17:03:10+00:00

I’m still waiting for someone to address the core of my argument: The structure of modern dating is identical to prostitution

Armbar2Triangle · 2025-09-02T21:45:10+00:00

I met a girl for a walk in the park. We walked for three hours, got to know each other really well, ended up sleeping together that night. Didn’t spend a dime other than gas

FrodoCraggins · 2025-09-02T23:08:01+00:00

What if you’re asexual? What are you exchanging for sexual access then?

Substantial_Video560 · 2025-09-03T08:29:52+00:00

The positive about a guy seeing prostitutes is he can close the door on the way out without all the drama that dating and relationships entail. That's why some men prefer that lifestyle.

Logical_Breadfruit49 · 2025-09-03T08:56:15+00:00

Even love and romance are mechanisms which are products of evolution and natural selection. Buss explains that a pure min-maxing approach to dating would've made it difficult for our ancestors to form life long pair bonds, so some form of "irrational obsession" (i.e. love) was necessary to offset the default rational strategy to always seek out the best partner.

If all men saw all women as sex objects, and all women saw all men as sex/money objects, then long term pair bonds would cease to exist. The real question is how important long term pair bonds are to the happiness and well-being of society, particularly young children.

cheeseguard · 2025-09-03T13:48:57+00:00

When you realize Marriage is prostitution ring ran by state and religion 😀😀😀 state always win you don’t play by rules

goodluck16 · 2025-09-06T05:19:39+00:00

And what's wrong with that? If he isn't providing for her, then he is sexually taking advantage of her. Making it transactional is the best way to ensure both get their rights.

BiggoBeardo · 2025-09-06T11:22:02+00:00

Most women in Miami are like this

KayRay1994 · 2025-09-02T18:07:26+00:00

In today’s episode of “the male loneliness epidemic is self inflicted”

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-09-02T20:04:03+00:00

Some of you really need new hobbies.

If effort equals prostitution, then friendship and parenting count too. Relationships aren’t vending machines. Calling dating “prostitution” is like calling someone a caterer for making you a sandwich.

esdebah · 2025-09-02T19:56:13+00:00

This is late-90s era middle-school level bullshit, friend

MUSICANDLIFE85 · 2025-09-02T18:50:14+00:00

If they like you they wouldn't care if you went for a walk or for coffee.

benjaminovich · 2025-09-02T21:25:46+00:00

Why are red pillers so adamant about describing dating in economic terms, and then present their argument with such shockingly flawed logic and poor understanding of economics? Is it because you have fooled yourself into believing your viewpoint is "rational" and "logical"?

So, here is an explanation for why you are wrong, from an economic point of view.

First, let's clear up the definition.

Your entire argument rests on twisting definitions into something they are not.

Prostitution is the act or practice of engaging in sex acts and especially sexual intercourse in exchange for pay.

from Merriam-Webster.

In other words, it is fundamentally a transactional exchange of value (typically money) for a (sexual) service. Your reframing it into access, whatever that is even supposed to mean, is fundamentally flawed. They are not the same thing.

Dating is not about finding someone to provide you with a sexual service. Although sex is one element to a healthy and successful relationship it is far from the only consideration. It is revealing that your focus is entirely on the possibility of having sex, everything else are negatives that must be endured to "maintain sexual access" or whatever. I mean "Social price: Meeting families". Dude, the whole section of your so called "hidden prices" (ignoring all the other highly problematic parts of this section) does not leave me with the impression of someone who has a healthy mindset in dating. Interesting how potential heart ache is not a risk on your list.

Anyway, moving on

Your model is flawed

It is possible to view dating as market. But your "model" ain't it.

A better framework is to view the dating in a way that is analagous to the labor market. Dating is a matching problem, which fundamentally boils down to problems associated with a lack of information.

There are indeed costs associated with dating. Gaining more information is costly; it requires time, effort and money. By both individuals.

When people date, they have a set of preferences in what they look for in a partner. Some things are dealbreakers, other things might be minor issues that can be over looked. Using dating apps and and some other form os screening process happens in order to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Dating is not, as you define it, "indirect exchange of value for intimacy and eventual sexual access." At least not for normal people. It is, in fact, not an exchange at all, it is a search for someone who meets a certain set of characteristics and criteria whether you a looking for someone to spend your life with or just a casual hookup.

For further reading there is the marriage problem

So no, dating is not prostitution and your argument is intellectually lazy. Or more generously, a result of heavy motivated reasoning. And also weird

Amazo7 · 2025-12-20T07:22:38+00:00

The definition of prostitution is sexual activity for payment….all forms of dating are prostitution…kissing booths are prostitution..if you have a transaction wi the anyone for even a sexual glance that’s prostitution definitely

Ok_Win5705 · 2025-09-02T17:24:23+00:00

I agree. Men always pay.

GeneralSeduction · 2025-09-02T17:15:31+00:00

This post is facts. Everything is a transaction. Most women want you to be and behave a certain way and that’s typically what you have to exchange in order to get what you want from them.

So say you don’t want to behave any particular way they want you to behave, how do you get into a relationship or just simply a physical relationship with her? You have to provide her with something else. If it’s not whatever personality she wants you to come with, it has to be looks, money, status or something else.

Superb-Foundations · 2025-09-02T21:26:00+00:00

So.... everything is prostitution to you, then? I got to work and give them my time for money. Prostitution. Making my elderly cancer ridden neighbor dinner after she got sick is prostitution because she gives me fresh lemons from her tree, and technically, lemons cost money soooo prostitution. College is hella prostitution. I give them money and they give me a piece of paper. My husband? I prostitute him 3 times a week because he gives me love, and in return, I give him sex.

Do you.... do you truly believe what you wrote, or are you just being contrarian on purpose?

Soft-Finger7176 · 2025-09-03T04:53:19+00:00

Somebody needs to get laid. Good god.

petellapain · 2025-09-02T19:10:41+00:00

Realest post on reddit. This is perhaps why I find it so easy to hobby overseas. Some guys exchange charm or game. I just exchange usd

Title	Dating is prostitution.
Author	WalrusExcellent5686
Upvotes	53
Comments	237
Date	September 2, 2025 4:42 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1n6okch/dating_is_prostitution/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-is-prostitution.1561126 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561126

Comments

Your model is flawed