Most single people aren't actually happy single

Enflamed-Pancake · 2023-07-15T11:47:20+00:00

Better to be single than with a bad partner.

thedarkracer · 2023-07-15T13:09:01+00:00

True, I agree. As a guy I can say that even at 27 I have never touched a woman beyond a handshake. Sometimes loneliness is bliss and other times it hurts like hell. The mind has become so distorted that I pull myself away when seeing someone romancing like in movies or memes or irl. I also don't follow any models on any social media just science, cars, space etc. My work colleagues are surprised that even though being a straight guy I never fall head over heels over any beautiful lady. Truth is they don't know how bad the loneliness has affected me and no one in my life actually knows that.

Downtown_Werewolf_44 · 2023-07-15T07:10:03+00:00

It's great to be single. I like being alone so it suits me well and I have far less bullshit to deal with than when i'm with someone.

Of course, being single while having zero sex or romantic life must be terrible, but when you are single by choice, it's quite a nice life.

I do miss being in love from time to time but not being in a relationship. I'd rather stay single all my life than settle with a girl I don't love.

Environmental_Day558 · 2023-07-15T11:05:21+00:00

Single women pretend that they're happy single by dousing themselves in SSRIs, wine, and a deluge of affirmation from TV shows and social media.

Single men generally don't pretend to be happy single.

I think it may seem that way because women are generally single by choice, have lower libidos and if they do want sex, they can get it set up with a few swipes on a screen. This isn't the case for most men, so that's the difference.

I also think that people are happy single because it beats being in a shıtty relationship by a mile. However a healthy relationship beats both.

just_a_place · 2023-07-15T06:08:11+00:00

Most people are just miserable in general. The difference is this attitude that just because you're in a relationship it must mean you can't be that miserable anymore, because you now found someone to share that misery with and somehow that nullifies your right to complain or bring attention to it. If you're single then you must be miserable because you have no one to share that misery with! Yes this is stupid and it's what fuels this asinine idea that single people = miserable people.

Look. YOU ARE ALL MISERABLE! It's just that people have this dumb attitude that: "oh! you are involved with someone now? You must be sooooo happy! No more rainy days for you!"

Single men do not pretend to do shit because we do not need to be putting up a phony front for social clout.

Here is a little secret: Most people who are single are single because they want to be!

pop442 · 2023-07-15T14:50:04+00:00

The problem here is that, when women say that they're happy being single and unmarried, it's usually from the perspective that they've already been there and done that.

Of course, people who have already been validated with relationships and sex are content choosing to be single. It's the same thing with men. I'm content being single atm because I've already "been there and done that" when it comes to relationships and sex and now I'm taking my time before deciding to have a wife and kids.

When men bring up "single" men, they're not talking about a bachelor who stepped out of a relationship. They're talking about the type of man who straight up didn't get much or any relationship or sexual validation and is dealing with the feeling of being unwanted or undesirable.

This is NOT gendered either. Women who struggle to attract men or get dates/sex with quality men are almost as bitter and jaded as men in the same position. All you need to do is look at how women who aren't conventionally attractive respond to being perpetually single and unmarried.

They usually speak about their single status with a bitter and disappointed tone no different from men in the same position. Just go on r/FemaleDatingStrategy, r/PlusSize, r/TallGirls, r/blackladies, r/ftm, r/datingoverthirty, r/datingoverforty, etc. to see that perpetually single and unmarried women who don't fit society's beauty standards can do tons of bitter complaining about their single status while being highly envious of the dating/marriage success of women who are more conventionally attractive.

MountainDangerous404 · 2023-07-15T09:40:07+00:00

My man, a good portion of Gen X and especially older millennial married couples aren't happy either. I would wager 50% settled.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2023-07-15T10:24:35+00:00

Dude, is great to be single lmao

No paying for other person's shit,no drama, no jealousy,not absurd demands, having all your free time allocated the way you want, no friction between partner and friends etc.

I think single men who are so mad about being single are so because they don't have very deep friendships that can support them in times of need

Ylduts · 2023-07-15T11:23:40+00:00

Most people want a significant other. The older you get the more you see it.

HaymakerGirl2025 · 2023-07-15T13:32:59+00:00

Many enjoy being single. Until, later age. Especially for men. Close to zero men over 60 happy being single. Not as true for women.

YveisGrey · 2023-07-15T14:23:43+00:00

Why do you think only single women drink and get on SSRIs?

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-07-15T17:13:26+00:00

Ya'll mfs don't have friends or family? And or belong to a community?

heartofpeerpressure · 2023-07-15T05:58:56+00:00

I am extremely happily single. If Meg thee stallion and dua lipa offered me a throuple, I’d say let’s have a threesome and that would be it.

bad_nerves · 2023-07-15T06:31:08+00:00

the difference is simply abundance mentality

JNRoberts42 · 2023-07-15T12:45:29+00:00

Single women generally have a network of friends and a social life, single men may tend to neglect their friends and drop out each time they get a girlfriend.

I’m deliberately single and currently sitting on a rock waiting for a new friend to go hike with me, and hoping he doesn’t think I want to date him. Single doesn’t mean a lack of friends and plenty of things to do.

YveisGrey · 2023-07-15T14:32:36+00:00

Being single sucks if everyone around you is in a relationship. But if you have single friends it’s actually fun imo. I actually enjoyed my single time in my 20s but most of my friends were also single at that time. Now everyone is paired up I would definitely feel like the odd woman out.

TomatoFuzz · 2023-07-15T15:04:11+00:00

Stop telling us how to feel. It’s annoying.

El_Don_94 · 2023-07-15T15:18:10+00:00

I'm happy being single. I'd also be happy in a relationship. I'd prefer to have regular sex though.

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-07-15T15:23:56+00:00

I definitely agree that ppl are not happy single. I think ppl just become comfortable with being single because being single is the better option. Relationships that are long lasting, happy and healthy are extremely rare. Most ppl see their options as either to be single or to be in a bad relationship & most ppl will go with being single. But if ppl have the option of a happy healthy relationship and to be single, most ppl will choose the relationship because humans are supposed to pair up, make babies and continue the human race.

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-07-15T16:27:53+00:00

I miss romance, love and sex, but the fact is, I haven't even met anyone lately (like in terms of years) that I feel remotely compatible with. So there would be no point in forcing it because as they say a bad relationship is worse than none.

So, not exactly happy single, but it is what it is.

In part it seems like there aren't adequate ways to socialize anymore. I read a lot of local history and even way out in the country where people lived miles apart and had to travel by horseback, they would often have picnics or dances that lasted all night so that people could meet everybody else. In the city where I am we live close together but pointedly ignore one another. I suppose we are so cramped together that's how we give each other space, but it's odd. So you gotta go to things like Meet-Ups to meet people even though you're surrounded by people.

RinoaRita · 2023-07-15T18:33:41+00:00

Good partner > no partner > bad partner. It’s all relative.

TheMedsPeds · 2023-07-15T19:20:10+00:00

I’d rather be single than be in a toxic relationship or in a relationship with someone I don’t have feelings for just not to be alone.

Does that mean I want to be single? Of course not, it’s about making the best out of what options you have.

I do tend to roll my eyes at women who post 8x a day about how happy she is by herself. I think the more a person really is actually content being alone, the less they need to proclaim it. They just spend their time with friends, family or are invested in hobbies.

Stunning_Seaweed7717 · 2023-07-15T05:53:46+00:00

People can absolutely be happy single to an extent, especially in the 6 months - year following a long term relationship. There are benefits to being single, like having more free time and more agency. You can transform a lot as a person.

Long-term, though, I agree. Single women tend to downplay that because they don’t want to seem desperate to be chosen. They’re the ones who get approached, so they try to play it cool.

thetruthishere_ · 2023-07-15T11:42:05+00:00

Youve met all single people out there? Can you show us your data?

I dont think single people being happy is rare.

Edit. Did you know a lot of women use meds just because of our hormones and not because they are single? Did you know more women seek help over men?

wtknight · 2023-07-15T14:40:26+00:00

Women can be happy single because they have better friend networks, don't feel as addicted to sex as men do, and can easily find casual sex if they really want it. There are just as many misandrists out there as misogynists, and these women don't need men as much as misogynist men still need women.

lacuti3 · 2023-07-15T06:23:55+00:00

It’s really easy to be happy as a single woman. They just remember all the terrible sex they had in the past.

LaTableEstBasse · 2023-07-15T11:39:50+00:00

Being single despite having options can lead to happiness. Being single because you have no options isn't a choice.

Listen-Natural · 2023-07-15T12:42:15+00:00

Single people may be a lot happier than people in bad relationships, yes I can def get behind that. And you can get socialization in lots of ways not just relationships. Especially nowadays, I feel like we reward toxic behaviors in both men and women.

SmoothForest · 2023-07-15T12:55:31+00:00

It's about choice and power. If you choose to be single, then it doesn't feel bad. Which is usually the case for women. Women are usually single because all potential suitors want them, but just aren't good enough which puts them in a position of superiority. But men are usually single because potential suitors don't see them as good enough, which puts them in a position of inferiority.

It's the difference between rejecting an invite to a party, and not being invited in the first place. One make you feel powerful, another makes you feel pathetic.

BunnyFlopped · 2023-07-15T14:34:14+00:00

Single women are listed as happier because the relationships that women were traditionally recorded as having with men were ones that were not beneficial to women. They did not make women happy. That is the reason why the disparity is there.

SSRIs are known for emotional blunting, weight gain, nausea, headaches, brain zaps, sexual dysfunction, and a lot of other symptoms. If having these symptoms will still leave them statistically higher than women in relationships there is another problem. It is with our understanding of a woman’s role in a relationship.

You are right I believe most people would be happier that way. However, that doesn’t mean society is conducive to fostering positive and healthy relationships

banned4tellindtruth · 2023-07-15T14:40:39+00:00

As a man I'm cool being single. The upsides are doing what I want, not paying for anyone else's BS, not having to deal with someone else's baggage or emotional problems, and so on.

I guess the main downside is lack of reliable pussy. But there's an infinite amount of porn and social media chicks posting thirst traps for me to jack off to. LOL.

That's why a woman needs to surpass a certain threshold of physical attractiveness and agreeableness/pleasant-to-be-aroundness for me to consider a relationship with her. Basically some women think that they're automatically valuable and I should be happy to have them just because they have vaginas.

But they fail to recognize that their vagina has to compete with the baseline of pleasure set by my hand and whichever chicks I want to whack off to. They also have to compete with the baseline of me doing things I enjoy by myself vs. spending time with them.

c0pkill3r · 2023-07-15T14:56:58+00:00

I doubt what you've said mostly because of the state of the earth. I live in America. It's not normal, no where even fucking close, to see homeless starving people, to know everything is made in China by slave laborers, to see Latino people risk their lives to get here, see the white men billionaires hoard their wealth, black people getting slaughtered and imprisoned for no reason, trans people threatened killed and raped constantly, animals abused in massive farming factories, trash everywhere, a whole island of trash, rape culture, misogyny, racism, and then think: hmmm ok, I should bring yet another human to this nightmare zone to help sadistically pollute and destroy it. Being single with the goal of antinatalism is absolutely essential to the survival of the species at this point. To be clear I do believe people can fuck and get together in relationships without reproducing but that's not the common view of the purpose of white monogamous privileged cishet relationships. Also, on top of everything I just said I'm autistic af. Checkmate normie.

AhsokaSolo · 2023-07-15T15:23:13+00:00

I see this sentiment a lot. I'm sorry to break it to you. It's not true. I'll tell a story.

My grandmother was born in the depression on a farm. Married twice and had three kids. Left her second husband with three still minor children to care for, and trudged the very difficult life of being a single, working mom in the 60s and 70s. She was attractive and socialized. Played piano in local restaurants even after retiring.

She could have remarried any time. I never knew her married or even in a relationship. She told me after husband #2 she decided she would never, ever have another man she had to take care of. She was happy and independent until her recent passing just before COVID.

She's one of many. There's a reason that as societies modernize, women choose more and more to be single. Asian countries are seeing this phenomenon right now.

Sabrepill · 2023-07-15T16:15:18+00:00

I think many people are very happy people regardless of being single. The single part is a net negative but they are happy regardless. You are right that women pretend that being single is the source of their happiness and most men do not. That’s because women evolved to virtue signal more than men

Rhinosaur666 · 2023-07-15T17:07:54+00:00

I've never met anyone who needed love to be happy and fulfilled and who was able to get it. But I've met many people (most guys on this sub), who have been brainwashed into thinking that being loved is the only way to be happy and as a result they continue being lonely and miserable and undesirable.

armonilyss · 2023-07-15T19:21:50+00:00

im was happy single

stlmick · 2023-07-15T21:57:49+00:00

I have had two pretty bad relationships in my life. I am much happier single than in either of those relationships. Not as happy as I was in other relationships, but I'm decent looking, with a house, a job and a car. If I wanted to go on a date this weekend I could. Probably going to regrout my shower.

BeneficialRush4171 · 2023-07-16T01:32:49+00:00

That’s true, but I think the people saying that just don’t have good experiences with relationships. If a relationship feels more like job, makes your life more stressful, takes away your freedom and has more downsides than benefits, it can feel like being single is better. Of course most people would prefer to find someone dependable and that adds joy to your life than to be single, but that’s not realistic for everyone.

ambrosedc · 2023-07-16T12:29:48+00:00

The reason men aren't generally happy single is because they're smeared by both feminists and big media as potential predators and a threat to society

keebydee · 2023-07-15T06:38:00+00:00

Finally someone said this. So sick of the "you can be happy single" nonsense. Very few can genuinely be happy single and those that are either already have fulfilling relationships to look back on or had to heavily delude themselves into thinking relationships aren't worth pursuing.

No amount of stupid hobbies is going to fill that hole you feel for romantic relationships.

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-07-15T06:03:43+00:00

Being single is great. Sounds like women have hobbies and enjoy their life. And men, don't.

TonytheNetworker · 2023-07-15T07:10:51+00:00

I can’t speak on behalf of “most single people” since I don’t know them but I find being single fairly boring. I strongly prefer having someone to take plans with on weekends, having stupid inside jokes, having that +1 when I’m at a company party, or even just someone to cheer you up when you had a rough day.

social_mules_alt · 2023-07-15T12:16:24+00:00

Most married people aren't actually happy married which is why so many of them get divorced. And before someone chimes in with the latest data showing fewer than 50% of marriages end in divorce, let's not delude ourselves into thinking that just because they didn't file for divorce that they're happily married by default.

Blaphrodite · 2023-07-15T12:40:32+00:00

Speak for yourself As a single woman I’m totally enjoying my peace. I don’t have to argue, convince or clean up after anyone. I’m not arguing about splitting bills or who pays for what. If I want something, I get it. If I want to eat at an expensive restaurant, I do so. If I want to go to Europe, the only calendar I check is mine. I do what I want, I go where I want with my friends. No arguments, no stress. Sex? I get serviced by a nice vibrator, no mess. What’s a girl to be unhappy about?

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Substantial_Video560 · 2023-07-15T08:32:13+00:00

It all depends on the personality of the individual. Being an introvert and outsider I don't really struggle with it.

I do 99% of activities alone and am perfectly happy with that. I would say I've made peace with being single! 😎

silentmmgh · 2023-07-15T09:08:35+00:00

I can’t be miserable about the things I cannot afford! There are somethings I cannot attain, you gotta find solidarity in your wins and losses! Enjoy life, it’s more than just dating!

ceereality · 2023-07-15T11:54:24+00:00

Single.is very nice but as someone who has been in both lomgterm relationships as longterm single and casual dating or multiple partner dating.

Honestly nothing beats having a ride or die in your life.

Drougen · 2023-07-15T12:52:11+00:00

After a bad breakup with someone extremely manipulative I was happily single for 3 years. Only got into another relationship becsuse the other person wanted to.

herefortheparty01 · 2023-07-15T14:15:35+00:00

I’m pretty awesome being single

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-07-15T14:32:30+00:00

I would agree, but a lot of people in relationships are depressed af too. I don’t know many people who are truly happy in this economy and social climate. And single is still better than in a bad relationship.

ThrowAwayHuman122333 · 2023-07-15T15:27:54+00:00

I can't speak for "most people" but I'll say that I'm content with being single. I think there are things to be "happy" with on both sides: getting to do what you want vs spending time with someone of the opposite sex that gets you. Some people simply focus on the good sides of whatever they're doing.

Oli_love90 · 2023-07-15T15:30:58+00:00

I don’t think single women pretend they’re happy - a few women commenting that they’re fine and the same statistic that they’re happier is not proof.

We don’t need to dog on single women by saying they’re “pretending to be happy” with “SSRIs, wine and a deluge or affirmation from TV shows and social media” - they’re just living as best as they can. I don’t get the bitterness when we talk about single women and how they’re living, whether it be happily or not - Isn’t everyone just trying their best?

Dstar538888 · 2023-07-15T19:42:00+00:00

You say this as if people in relationships are automatically happier, y’all getting cheated on 🤣🤣🤣

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-07-15T23:04:50+00:00

My single female friends are. They have less stress and more freedom than me. However I live being married.

Leyoniflowers · 2023-07-16T01:09:09+00:00

I was happy when I was single tbh

Dalton4775829 · 2023-07-16T01:29:49+00:00

How are you sure that partnered people are so happy?

operapeach · 2023-07-16T02:10:21+00:00

Will I be happier with the person I choose to marry? Yes. Until then I am happy single. I have family, friends, and pets who are great.

Women are a lot more selective upfront, where men are not and they’re willing to date people who provide them with certain things (sex, cooking, cleaning) as long as they can until they find someone they’re actually interested in marrying. This is shady and underhanded imo and not at all equal to happiness, it’s equal to convenience.

People who can’t find any joy in singleness are likely very needy, clingy, lazy people. It’s even worse if they complain about it often. It will give anyone who would be even remotely interested in you otherwise.

For me:

With my soulmate > singleness >>>>>>> a convenience relationship

MOProG2 · 2023-07-16T04:28:19+00:00

Is this true or just a feeling based on YT videos? Actually challenge yourself, perhaps it's all just entertainment?

You can have family, friends etc and not need a relationship. If you have ever been in a relationship you realize you will yearn for freedom. Happiness is found within, not with other people. People require compromising your goals and desires. You can be happy single and miserable in relationships.

People do need each other to survive and remain sane, but you don't need a sexual partner to achieve this.

MOProG2 · 2023-07-16T04:30:37+00:00

All you need is someone to FWB or go to the movies with. Relationship are work and you will be unhappy at times no matter who you choose.

CraftyBaybe12 · 2023-07-16T07:04:27+00:00

Aren't there new reports of women living longer and being happier single? As well as reports saying men live longer in relationships? Women historically do most of the work in relationships while at most men would pay for bills and dates maybe, which arguably is a somewhat simple task compared to the labors of women within a relationship. Women are expected to meet needs in various areas where as a good man is generally seen as so for merely being present and paying for things. Both are stresses and not necessarily easy, but men seem to do less work in a relationship than a woman which supports the reasoning why more and more women are reported to be happier single than in relationships.

When we are not happy single I feel like it for different reason, same for when we're happy single in general.

operation-spot · 2023-07-17T08:52:15+00:00

Humans are social which is why single women have a lot of friends and family to support them. Social needs are not fulfilled solely by romantic or long term relationships. Single men place their entire self worth in receiving validation from women and never receive it so of course they’re unhappy.

I don’t mean to come off as unempathetic but maybe less men would unalive themselves if they took SSRIs

Title	Most single people aren't actually happy single
Author	KillerCroc40
Upvotes	45
Comments	178
Date	July 15, 2023 5:51 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1503h5y/most_single_people_arent_actually_happy_single/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/most-single-people-arent-actually-happy-single.1225321 https://theredarchive.com/post/1225321

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