[deleted by user]

wanlas · 2022-01-18T22:13:11+00:00

Be confident as fuck...plus being attractive helps. But seriously confidence and not arrogance, if you can get to that stage it insanely changes the dating market for yourself, well actually almost everything.

strawberryadvil · 2022-01-18T23:36:38+00:00

look like you have coke

b_a_d_r0b0t · 2022-01-18T22:56:46+00:00

Be Henry Cavil

kuavi · 2022-01-18T23:10:57+00:00

The kind of guy women approach is the type of guy who knows how to and does approach women.

Otherwise you're hoping for essentially the same thing as winning the lottery, especially at a bar alone with no friends around.

kris__666 · 2022-01-18T22:17:50+00:00

I was just reading a post where a guy went to a local dive bar/pool bar and sat on a couch and read a book and he had four girls approach him which had never happened to him before.

SpookyKG · 2022-01-18T22:16:09+00:00

How are you going to 'make' women make the first move? Why is this your goal?

Why waste your time sitting around literally waiting for life to happen?

gl0ry66 · 2022-01-18T22:59:16+00:00

Nah that won't work. Observe women at the bar, look for the ones you smile at you and or make obvious eye contact. Those are probably the women who are interested and you can approach.

thelambofdeth · 2022-01-18T22:31:20+00:00

Be attractive and extroverted

xulyx · 2022-01-19T01:34:48+00:00

Brooklyn’s gonna eat you alive boy.

cmalfoy · 2022-01-19T00:18:04+00:00

I had this happen to me a couple weekends ago. I sat at the bar (alone) and drank craft beer and pretty much interacted with everyone in a meaningful and- like everyone has said- confident way. Sure enough another group moves in close to the bar and even though her friends are at the table, a cute girl came up and sat next to me at the bar. We chatted up, kissed and exchanged numbers. I think the important thing is showing that you have a positive energy and command attention. You are sure of yourself and act rightly so.

Although, if she wouldn’t of came to me I would’ve approached her. So don’t make this your only option, be flexible.

unfinity2 · 2022-01-19T00:33:35+00:00

Yes a few times but don’t do that to yourself or you’ll rarely have sex 😂. Girls are just too shy generally or think it’s improper or just prefer guys more proactive etc. But then again maybe you’re just stunning and can get away with it 🤷‍♀️Wish I could that would be nice.

slumxl0rd87 · 2022-01-19T01:04:11+00:00

You want them to make the first move because you….have no game. That’s your problem. And the fact that you expect/want women to always make the first move proves that. Totally wrong mindset and I highly doubt you’re going to have any luck.

HyakuShichifukujin · 2022-01-18T23:18:04+00:00

Yeah, this is the wrong question. « Shy » is a euphemism for « lacking confidence » or « socially awkward ». These traits are not attractive to women. Your question should be, « how do I work on changing that? »

The vast majority of the time, the most you can realistically hope for is approach invitations - if she smiles at you and/or holds prolonged eye contact (especially more than once) or seems to hover around you, that’s a green light to do something - but you still need to act on it.

Women don’t need to make the first move because plenty of other men will if you won’t. I mean sure you might randomly get lucky here or there if you’re super attractive or have high status in a specific social situation, but this is not a long term or probabilistically reliable strategy.

If you just want to go out and relax and have fun and be comfortable, that’s perfectly fine, no judgment, just do that and enjoy yourself. But if you’re going out to meet women and the plan is to wait for them to come to you, you’re going to be waiting an awfully long time.

AnAngelOfVengeance · 2022-01-18T22:26:29+00:00

umm women rarely make the first move. like, I’ve spent 3-4,000 hrs in bars, I am attractive, and have only been approached maybe 10 times (twice in Boston tho so if you live there).

But since you asked, you need to wear a shirt that makes it easy for them to approach you with plausible deniability. Like ‘future trophy husband’ or a pink Hello Kitty shirt. She’ll say I hate your shirt but the fact she’s starting convo means she likes you and is a soft approach.

Nouseriously · 2022-01-19T03:22:00+00:00

1) be gorgeous

2) dress well, but not too formally

3) time travel to the 90s

TheBookOfSeil · 2022-01-18T23:20:33+00:00

Just be hot, bro. Its that simple.

5_7pickup · 2022-01-19T00:07:52+00:00

This is retarded. Women wont approach you and even when they do, it’s rare as fuck. Youll likely spend 20 hours at the club or bar with nobody approaching you. Meanwhile Ill spend 4 hours and talk to 15 girls.

ezekiell_86 · 2022-01-19T05:35:28+00:00

Be tall, on steroids for over 5 years, tattoos, tan and fresh haircut. I have a friend like this that is approached by gorgeous women every time I'm out with him. He gets blowjobs in alleyways, invites to parties at apartments and sex from girls at the gym where the trash goes around the back. And he treats them like they're less than him

i_love_crazy_hobos · 2022-01-19T07:52:28+00:00

Dude just learn to approach the girls. Women don’t make the first move almost ever. Waiting for that is a losing game.

megazordwhippin · 2022-01-19T12:52:54+00:00

I drink at bars alone a bit. One thing that I’ve learned that really helps; make nice with the bartender.

If you can get the bartender to like you, they can be a wingman without really even doing a lot of work. I have two bars where I’m friends with the bartenders. They’ll yell my name when I walk through the door, and I’ll get attention without even asking for it.

lowlink · 2022-01-19T15:44:19+00:00

If you look at her, she won't approach you, most of the time... Because she expects you to approach, then, as you're the man.

Try to not make eye contact with people, mostly just look with your peripheral vision. You have to be well dressed, good posture, all the basic shit, of course, but most important, is looking approachable: have open body language, look positive/happy, this type of stuff. Try to lure her in, pretend you're a bit distracted, but seem like a cool and open enough guy that she's not afraid to go talk to you.

That said, getting approached still very hard, you're better off trying to approach yourself. If you have eye contact with a girl, hold it for longer than 2 seconds, if she looks away, you can look away, if she looks down, that's a strong sign of attraction, most of the time. Try smiling, see how she reacts. All you need to do is walk to the girl, get near, do something for her to notice you (maybe eye contact, though in general you better off looking far into the distance and pretending you just happened to notice her, then resting your hand on her upper arm, very lightly, or give her a light poke), then once she notices you, aka is looking at you, you look at her and say hi, introduce yourself. It's not the end of the world lol

Riente · 2022-01-19T16:14:20+00:00

I can't tell about bars, but I used to read books in public before the pandemic. The keys are just what you are expecting:

1-Be attractive

2-Don't be unattractive

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-01-18T23:10:59+00:00

The reality is more often than not you are the one who will have to make the first move. And i mean in 99% of cases.

galactic_fury · 2022-01-19T00:41:58+00:00

Here’s the truth: you’re probably not going to meet anyone.

Bar game is all about being social and timing. Most people don’t go to bars with the express goal of finding someone. They’re usually there for something else: socializing with friends, coworkers, trivia or some other things.

So how do you meet people? There’s a ton of material on this sun on bar game, but the most important one is just: time. Don’t expect something to happen every time you go out. Find something to do that you might like: is it a bar that plays sports on TV? Retro movies? That’s a great activity, because it’s a legit reason for being there by yourself. If not, have something interesting to read on your phone.

Be very courteous with the staff. If you’re a regular and tip well, they will come around to accepting you or in the best case, actively helping you. If you enter a bar and the bartender greets you with a smile, treats you well or hugs you, that’s instant social validation right there. For the bar staff, it’s their job. Make it easier for them by not being an impatient asshole and they will treat you well.

I’ve blabbered on for a while but the most important thing is to realize that bar game takes time, you won’t strike gold every time. Be consistent though, and you will succeed eventually.

tristian_lay · 2022-01-19T01:23:32+00:00

The best you can hope for from women are touchy flirty signs and then you have to step up

AligatorTears · 2022-01-19T03:16:00+00:00

Wear a t-shirt that says "free hugs".

YoDaddy1069 · 2022-01-19T06:27:16+00:00

What else do you want? Fish to start flying?

itsthechamp2022 · 2022-01-19T06:39:51+00:00

Girls are not making the 1st man up

whirleymon · 2022-01-19T16:37:11+00:00

Easy. First continue human evolution down a path where women are more assertive than men and happy to select for timidness. Then make sure that this evolved form of humans remains adapted to their environment. That shouldnt take longer than 200K years. Your other option is to better understand the human mating process and grow a pair of balls.

greyman0425 · 2022-01-21T00:03:54+00:00

Go out, have fun talk to as many people as possible, male nd female. Key is have fun. Rinse repeat.

Once a woman sees you having fun, she will start sniffing around.

human8ure · 2022-01-19T04:10:27+00:00

Eye contact, smiling, get the green light to go talk to her first. Then signal her to approach you. Pat the empty stool next to you. If she hesitates, put your hand over your heart and look like it’s broken. Be relaxed and playful and just have a good time. I find that if I go out with the intention of meeting people and specifically not getting laid, all the pressure is off and i’m free to be fun and charming with zero to lose. Maybe I’ll give someone a pleasant evening and make her feel good about herself.

kscotty84 · 2022-01-18T22:53:34+00:00

Lol the t-shirt idea I never tried going to be cold in NYC so if you bust on trip to the bathroom then put a jacket on its a funny idea. The book idea is classic, make sure it's a book on paper not phone. Remember you're alone you have nothing to lose if you try, crash, and burn. No reason to be embarrassed you will never see them again.

MeteoraRed · 2022-01-19T01:30:21+00:00

No women are designed to too be approached and they are generally passive by nature's design, ofcourse there are exceptions, women in bar already get hit by many men they won't have time for you ! One exception being if you are super good looking genetically gifted and super confident guy you might have chances.

EdKempThrow · 2022-01-19T01:41:19+00:00

Dont expect that unless you are extremly attractive or are famous!

Well, If you are silent and shy, then give me a reason out of the above ones that would attract a woman towards you by just looking at you.

Peace.

rewinder909 · 2022-01-19T08:11:38+00:00

If you're already shy it's better to approach them first. For the simple reason even If you get approached you won't know what to say and probably the conversation will die. Just go easy and start small say hi present yourself, or ask for something, then give a compliment, then try to talk more with her. Build up momentum with several interactions, you'll get used to it and it will be easier.

Nefertiti2021 · 2022-01-18T22:56:21+00:00

Are u a man?

Vv2333 · 2022-01-19T01:53:00+00:00

You live in Brooklyn and want girls to approach first? 😭😭😭😭

skinticket02 · 2022-01-19T08:24:17+00:00

Get gender reasignment surgery and go to a lesbian bar.

latinasonly · 2022-01-19T04:23:22+00:00

your going to have to stop being shy when ur at the bar. at the bar you need to be VERY confident. you will spot women who are alone. these are the easiest targets. there will be women in groups - still fair game. approach with confidence and talk to them

Nofapthrowaway2003 · 2022-01-19T01:47:11+00:00

Real shit, take a book to the bar, order a drink, and read the book. Girls will come at you left and right.

reallyred11 · 2022-01-18T23:41:16+00:00

Is this for ego boost/validation purposes?

Electric_kundalini · 2022-01-18T22:17:59+00:00

If you want to be approachable, smile and give eye contact. Look like you’re having a great time and don’t take yourself seriously.

Women are far more likely to approach you if they are drunk or if they can sense you’re into them. They probably won’t be direct like us guys are, maybe she’ll bump into you by “mistake” and then it’s up to you to start the convo.

MauPow · 2022-01-18T23:40:23+00:00

Be extremely attractive. That's about it.

rivetcitymayor · 2022-01-19T03:36:57+00:00

Follow rules 1 and 2

dkNigs · 2022-01-19T04:05:40+00:00

You want to be alone and approached in a bar? You’d best be quite attractive and capable of talking to anyone. Pick a bar where you can chat with the bar tenders between them being busy, because sitting totally alone and not chatting to everyone while you either people watch or stare at your phone isn’t appealing. The other option is to go to a busy bar where you might mingle or chat while lining up for drinks or around the dance floor.

2022-01-19T04:12:25+00:00

Will NEVER HAPPEN. Best I’ve gotten was women inviting me up to their room on like one occasion, and I’ve talked to hundreds of women. Men have to make the first move when it comes to every step.

Hoho2332 · 2022-01-19T04:21:27+00:00

enjoy being your own company (like dancing yourself in the dance floor, some bars they do have dance floor), i was enjoying myself on night in the club and 3 girls just approached me

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-01-19T04:35:43+00:00

Mind control

fiftypack · 2022-01-19T06:23:35+00:00

I go to bars alone all the time. I’m a tall guy so I stand up to stretch etc often to create interest. I make friends with the bartenders and get noticed. I try to walk with confidence to the bathroom.

Work with your strengths. You’re still not going to get a lot of first moves but definitely women will at least try to get near you.

YoDaddy1069 · 2022-01-19T06:30:48+00:00

Only way you can get girls to approach you is if you have drugs. When I start smoking weed outside a bar, the ladies come to me

TopBlacksmith160 · 2022-01-19T06:50:30+00:00

Dress real good, smell real good, go out ALOT Eventually one will Or theyll give you the “YOU COULD FUCK ME IF YOU WANTED TO” eyes

the_dude1995 · 2022-01-19T07:25:15+00:00

I use to go to a local rock/metal bar alone. One night, when I was literally just standing on the side, having a beer and enjoying the music, a girl came up to me and wanted me to dance with her. As always, it's confidence...

Motor-Ice-4439 · 2022-01-19T07:32:39+00:00

First, which do you have that you think would attract a woman? For example, I'm really tall, and good dancer, and very musical. I took years of ballroom dancing lessons which really helped me approach random women with confidence. Any guy struggling with approaching women, I highly suggest any ballroom partner dancing.

Potential_Swimming83 · 2022-01-19T07:39:20+00:00

So I think the key thing here is to sit in the corner and look at your phone the whole time. Headphones in would also help.

Actually scrap that. Sit in the centre of the bar with a pirate style treasure map. Works for me.

its_whot_it_is · 2022-01-19T07:49:10+00:00

I find that squeezing my self into a billiards game work wonders in meeting people, sometimes girls want to get in on it and you can partner up

cronasminate · 2022-01-19T07:51:27+00:00

If you are alone, just approach. As for getting approached, you should hang out with a male friend. Whenever I hangout with a girl, women women seem to just ogle or they wait until I'm alone. Totally different story when I'm with male friend.

When you are with a guy friend and just out to vibe, it's like women sense you are available and sociable.

earsurgery9 · 2022-01-19T08:31:52+00:00

be very good looking.

Have you ever had a woman make the first move on you at a bar?

VERY rarely, but my wingman has it about 5 times per night when we go out! Zero game is required for him. Girls do the work (making convo, escalating etc) - So it 100% happens, but you need to have hit the genetic lottery

emkamina · 2022-01-19T09:32:34+00:00

throw dollar bills in the air and watch yourself being crowded by prettiest women in your wildest dreams

ZombiFelineTuba · 2022-01-19T09:45:09+00:00

It will never happen because they like playing mind games

Schmutzbeutelmatzak · 2022-01-19T10:00:47+00:00

Why should girl make the first move when they get hit on constantly by hot guys they can choose from;)

shusain2991 · 2022-01-19T10:44:35+00:00

Bro that's harsh truth... Rarely girls make the first move. Because they have infinite options. If you want to make them first move, you have to be unique which cannot be replaced

TheGnosionaut · 2022-01-19T11:22:00+00:00

If you want them to make the first move, it's because you are not confident that you can approach sets. You're running in circles around your self to shelter your ego.

Tc0008 · 2022-01-19T11:32:33+00:00

pick up a main role in a big hollywood movie or become a billionaire?

AmputateYourHead · 2022-01-19T12:24:44+00:00

Dance. Well.

aerosmith760 · 2022-01-19T12:35:35+00:00

I can tell you right now there isn’t any amount of confidence, handsomeness you can have where a lady will shoot her shot. It never happens you have to shoot your shot.

Arcchimedes · 2022-01-19T12:44:59+00:00

Came to the wrong place bud lol. Gonna have to but up and go up to them. If you work hard enough on your style, mentality income and game you may get enough righteous confidence so women choose

Noblejunior · 2022-01-19T13:46:06+00:00

You’re a MAN you’re to WANT not to be WANTED like a woman. “A man is to want while a woman is to be wanted” law of nature Also when you desperately want a woman to approach you it won’t happen because first you’re not a celebrity, second women are shy even if they’re wild asf

religiouskid · 2022-01-19T13:49:50+00:00

Be sexy.

Ducharbaine · 2022-01-19T14:25:47+00:00

You don't make the move, the girls will not be interested. You're going to spend a lot of time by yourself in bars and clubs regardless of how fit you are, how well dressed you are, etc. Girls will make themselves available but without you making the move, nothing will happen.

deplorable-bastard · 2022-01-19T14:47:47+00:00

You better be tall handsome and reek of money.

shittyfuckdick · 2022-01-19T14:53:55+00:00

This happened to me on NYE.

I sat at the bar near the entrance. After a while a pretty girls sat next to me and started chatting with me. But she was a waiting for a friend and I think she was just bored and wanted to chat with a cute guy while she waited. I did get her number though.

ChattyBot7 · 2022-01-19T15:24:35+00:00

You could if you always order top of the shelf drinks, wear an Armani suit, rock a Rolex and leave the keys of your Ferrari for everyone to see hoping that you'd attract women that are intrigued by such a lifestyle.

Or you're as attractive as underwear models or whatever beauty standards exist for men that makes women approach first.

If you're neither of the above examples then good luck attracting women without making the first move by yourself.

NewCommonSensei · 2022-01-19T15:34:47+00:00

Never gonna happen stop living in fairy tale world an be a man who says hello to women it’s not difficult at all

Better_Ad499 · 2022-01-19T15:37:04+00:00

Watch the movie, “Don’t tell her it’s me” literally, a summation of what everyone said.

Retrobadass · 2022-01-19T15:54:28+00:00

Read how to be a 3% man,it tells you how to pick up any woman you want

GhilbiShi · 2022-01-19T16:00:15+00:00

Just be you, the moment you're confident in your own skin, with your own self, THAT will invite a lot of us. But yeah, just don't freeze, or try to impress, that often looks tooo desperate, just be you.

Corndesu69 · 2022-01-19T17:43:00+00:00

Follow rule 1 and 2

Aaron_77777 · 2022-01-19T18:57:53+00:00

Try to make eye contact with a girl and then smile at her. Do it a couple of times , then gesture her to come towards you.

No-Department6252 · 2022-01-19T19:15:58+00:00

stop cold approaching women like this is 2009 or something. if a woman is not actively trying to seduce you are not attractive in her eyes. women know who they want to fuck and who is going to fuck after .5 seconds of seeing a guy. no point in cold approaching if she fundamentally doesn't find you attractive. women will literally approach you if she finds you attractive but it's subtle. only focus on the women that want you and if the women you want are not attractive become better looking. it all starts with understanding women

alexanderldn · 2022-01-19T19:29:06+00:00

the night a woman makes a move on you in the bar will be the night they lay you in your coffin.

never gonna happen unless you are Jeff Bezos or Brad Pitt.

go get up and say hi

Flaming_S_Word · 2022-01-19T19:30:22+00:00

This will get lost in the comments, but:

Social Momentum, and Social Proof.

Social Momentum = Talk to anyone. 'Flirt' with everyone. Guys, girls, doesn't have to be pretty. Be silly, friendly, simple. "oh nice shirt dude", "smile Hi I'm flaming_s_word, what's your name?" You'll feel safer, they'll smile, you'll smile, you'll start to feel like you belong more. As you feel that, confidence goes up, you stand straighter, you're having a better time.

Social Proof = As girls start to see you being friendly with many people, they may recognize you as someone who is friendly and approachable. They may not approach you but you could catch them glancing your way, and that can be a subtle sort of invitation for you to walk up and say hi to them.

In essence, and I know this sounds paradoxical, but don't make girls the goal - Make enjoying yourself the goal. Work on learning how to do that and your SM/SC will go up, you'll have an easier time going out, and conversations will come more naturally.

Good luck bro

IllDeleteThisUNsoon · 2022-01-19T19:37:33+00:00

A van. If you put someone in a van they will definitely make the first move and say anything to get out of that van.

argumentativepigeon · 2022-01-19T19:47:00+00:00

Raise your eyebrows slightly.

mmboy · 2022-01-19T20:04:31+00:00

If you go to the bar and mind your own business, maybe read a book if it's day time, people can't help but bother you.

epimpstyle · 2022-01-19T20:28:18+00:00

You are the hunter dude, you must make the first move.

Alone in a bar is not a good idea, you look like you lost your job or maybe you are depressed :-))

Instead of sitting alone at the table is better if you stay outside the building, near the door, you will see all the girls who enter/leave the building and nothing stops you to enter inside the building right behind a girl, actually, she opens the door but you will close the door: "ops, sorry... is cold outside..." <--- you did the first move :-)

Organic_Pack1211 · 2022-01-19T23:01:35+00:00

Go to a club and dance. I’m an introvert, I hate dancing, and I don’t have much experience. However, when I go out alone and dance women come up to me and start the conversation. It might sound crazy but since I started going out back in October I was never the first to initiate which is surprising

gokeke · 2022-01-19T23:06:52+00:00

The plain and simple way to make girls approach you in a bar setting is just be super attractive, whether it’s by clothing or looks. Form yourself to be super attractive, and like bees to honey and flies to food, the women will start approaching you with no effort on your part.

denali_HD2020 · 2022-01-20T00:32:56+00:00

Women are weak, very few will ever approach a man they are interested in. It's on you to make things happen.

wka007 · 2022-01-20T00:56:19+00:00

Wear a tee shirt the says "Ask me about my..." and fill in the blank with something. Ideas:

1) Top Secret Clearance 2) multipurpose tool 3) nickname, Tripod 4) Paranormal Investigators Certification 5) Meaty Wenis

Just for starters...

1ecommillionReasons · 2022-01-20T01:25:46+00:00

Quit being lazy. If they've glanced your way more than 2 times ... they already have made the first "move". You're just failing to make the 2nd, and in need of learning non-verbal communication. I actually had a cute female wave at me while at the gas station.

What you're trying to say with words is, I want them to come up to me first. I guess it's time to hit the gym to actually become the best version of yourself that you can be, if they aren't already doing that. Laziness just isn't ever the answer. Few people will get something in exchange for doing barely anything.

Idea 2 - wear something so intriguing it forces them to ask you what the heck is that. And/or stand out. Dress like crocodile dundee or something.

Idea 1 - give more and you'll get more. As in, make the 2nd move after they've given you some very clear "first moves" via non-verbal communication.

ace_qk · 2022-02-02T07:52:45+00:00

The simplest answer to this: Enjoy yourself while you are alone. I don’t want to give tips cos it should truly be natural but if you’re sitting laughing to ‘yourself’ because you’re on the phone or watching a podcast or whatever.

Girls/People will naturally come closer to you, it’s hard to verbalise but there was a vid I saw on here one time of 2 guys randomly dancing in the street, then 3 girls walking past just joined them. Something like, create your own fun & everyone will wanna take part

Charge36 · 2022-02-02T19:56:33+00:00

Honestly waiting for others to make a move is a losing strategy. Yes if you dress nice and look approachable some people may make a move, but you are muuchhh better off initiating contact. Talk to everyone you see. It might make other people notice and approach you because they see you being such a sociable person

Ectoplasmic1984 · 2022-02-04T04:36:45+00:00

this burden will forever be on the guys shoulders

calisurfer101 · 2022-01-19T04:25:35+00:00

Lol is this a troll post? This subreddit is a lost cause.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	184
Comments	183
Date	January 18, 2022 10:10 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s79e10/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1268744 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268744

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