What is the deal with porn hate?

findingfemininity · 2019-12-02T17:59:39+00:00

Since when have women on PPD ever railed against porn en masse?

Porn is fine in small amounts. But if he's choosing porn over sex or can't get it up it's a problem.

nemma88 · 2019-12-03T00:30:16+00:00

30 years ago porn was reserved for the occasional dvd when your away from the family, teenagers getting their hands on their friends magazines and the local pervert. Porn usage expanded in volume, genres and viewership very rapidly.

Along with it seems to have brought limpdickitis. I spent a lot of time with no care of the porn world (I did and still do view) until I met someone addicted. It changed my view on what it can do to people. Now I think it should probably just speed up the addiction classification and educate guys about it before they end up in the self esteem pit trying to get out of it is, it's just as pathetic and dramatic as the guy throwing away his liver on alcohol or gambling away everything he owns.

Everything in moderation, like pizza.

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-12-02T17:59:42+00:00

I’ve actually went down the anti-porn rabbit hole of a few subs in particular. It seems to be based in insecurity and justified by sex-neg feminist rhetoric.

What I find most interesting is that their claims of this type of simulated sex will damage a man’s ability to bond properly with his wife. However, when you turn the tables on them and suggest certain sex has the mere possibility of similarly damaging a woman’s ability to bond with her husband, they start seething.

https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/e4r9cv/how_to_get_around_incognito/f9fmv1b/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

The women who obsess over this shit are not healthy at all.

SeasonedRP · 2019-12-02T23:34:17+00:00

Some women hate porn because they can't stand the thought of their men looking at other women. Some others, and tradcons, hate it because they want women/wives to have sole control over if and when a man gets a sexual release. There are a lot of tradcons on the RP sub who are quite vocal about their anti-porn stance though it's not a RP view. And then there are men and women, probably a majority, who don't care one way or the other if adults want to look at porn, who aren't swayed by hyperbolic "what about the children" arguments, and who know that banning it is impracticable.

In my own experience, it's women who are into the degrading/BDSM porn. I've had women want to watch things that were a huge turnoff to me. I'd be curious to know if anyone has ever broken down porn genre preferences by gender.

Teflon08191 · 2019-12-02T20:00:14+00:00

Porn erodes women's primary bargaining power with men. It does not surprise me in the least that they would come up with 101 different excuses for why they want it stigmatized/banned.

HarassMyAnger · 2019-12-02T17:55:40+00:00

Its nothing really complicated. Its just the gender that rails against men controlling their sexuality is trying to control mens sexuality. You know, the people that dont want to be shamed trying to shame men for using it, calling it pathetic.

NOTSM · 2019-12-02T17:50:04+00:00

It's mostly from women that have let themselves go to the point that their man would rather jerk it than fuck them

buartha · 2019-12-02T19:47:28+00:00

As a man I know from personal experience that while I can still have and enjoy sex daily while I'm consuming porn on the side I'm a lot more energetic and motivated and put a lot more effort into the sex I have with my husband when I don't use it. Giving it up years ago was a great decision for me, and anyone who's noticing issues either in their LTRs, in getting up the motivation to approach people they like or who feels that their physical standards are holding them back is shooting themselves in the foot by not at least trying to give it up.

M00NCREST · 2019-12-03T13:29:44+00:00

It's another way of demonizing male sexuality. That's why both blue check mark wokies and puritan religious fruitcakes both demonize it.

the-red_woman · 2019-12-02T18:12:57+00:00

My first boyfriend who was 22 at the time (I was 21) needed to watch porn to cum or stay hard while we were having sex. I was and am very attractive, fit and healthy. Luckily I was always smart enough to know the problem was him and not me. Still incredibly sad that a 22 year old boy already has ED...

Porn induced ED is becoming more and more of a problem. I am now 24 and if a man doesn’t get rock hard the first time we make out I drop him because its obvious that he’s pornsick... porn consumption has also been shown to cause brain damage to the frontal lobe.

Anyway the fact men defend it so desperately, despite the sickening rates of trafficking and abuse within the industry really tells us all that we need to know... denial is a common sign of addiction

2019-12-02T18:11:08+00:00

It's easy for people to blame their problems on watching porn or other people watching porn.

philomexa · 2019-12-02T18:48:58+00:00

I've always been pretty neutral about porn, I figured it was a tool most people used to scratch an itch.

Then I came onto reddit and discovered there is a subculture of men that are limp dicked, porn sick, and depraved (not the fun kind of depraved). I'd heard about porn addiction, but reading actual first hand accounts from suffers and their SO's has shifted my view of porn.

I think it's a bit too pervasive and has affected men's sexuality to a certain degree. Should 10 year olds really be exposed to struggle fucking and painal? There's definitely a difference between nudie mags under the bed and 10 hours of facial abuse fisting gang bangs.

I came of age on the internet and I always derided the concept of parental controls. But now I have a son I have to seriously contend with the idea of him stumbling across loli henati scat porn when he's 8 years old. A young man's sexuality should definitely NOT be formed by the most perverse depictions of sexuality available for free by a mere google search gone wrong.

TL;DR- WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN!?!?!

ontherailstoday · 2019-12-02T19:23:55+00:00

I don't hate porn any more than I hate sugar.

But you walk in carrying the largest available bottle of mountain dew, and sit down and swill it all over the course of a night... well I kinda sorta know what sort of person you probably are.

PM_ME_UR_1ITIS_SNAP · 2019-12-02T17:56:18+00:00

If I were a woman I wouldn't want to fw a man who couldn't get it up during sexy time. Nor would I want a guy who objectifies women to the point where he can only get off by calling me whore or jackhammering in one position for a long ass time.

throwawy_12262017 · 2019-12-02T20:42:04+00:00

It's projection. We guys know, intuitively, that it is messing with our reward centers and yet we have a lot of trouble stopping. So, we speak out against it vociferously as a way to try to convince ourselves.

DumbBaka123 · 2019-12-03T01:13:50+00:00

The really funny one, that people unsurprisingly skirt around, is animated/drawn/written porn. They’ll go on about how there’s trafficking and abuse in irl porn (which there is) but their only argument for this is a half-hearted and stupid pedophile accusation, at best

LifterofThings · 2019-12-03T02:38:47+00:00

Ok, so assuming that you agree that men generally are having a rough time in the dating market, do you think jerking off 5 times a day to internet porn is a net positive for them or for anyone?

I personally don't have an issue with porn, but I don't think it's doing young men any real favors, particularly the ones who are already kind of suffering on the dating scene.

Joey_Lopez · 2019-12-02T18:47:37+00:00

It's because females want to be able to control men and the way to do that is with sex. They need men be sexually dependent on them. So they can't let men have a sexual outlet.

They are also lazy and they can't let men see they're prettier girls that actually have sexual skills that points out just how bad their starfish sex really is.

ha_na_bi · 2019-12-02T20:26:38+00:00

It's the McDonald's equivalent of human sex. It's not that it's so twisted and disgusting, but a LOT of men today are addicted to it. It's just another part of instant gratification and consumption culture. Guys saying who needs relationships or sex when I have porn is another sign of low value males

chaddad9000 · 2019-12-02T18:41:11+00:00

Mostly because I find it to be gross and disgusting. I look at the front page of pornhub and its like 90% 🤮. This is not the naked booby stuff that guys used to look at. I can't even imagine the guys who consume that stuff on a regular basis can have a normal sexual relationship.

calamis1 · 2019-12-02T19:33:34+00:00

It's generally insecure women with double standards.

You'll see that they'll often try to spin it as simply looking out for men since they can suffer from ED or loss of pair bonding, but turn it around and mention how a high N count can do the same to women and they'll all freak out and rail on you for daring to try to police women's sexuality.

489833 · 2019-12-02T20:21:07+00:00

This is great.

I tried posting this thread YESTERDAY:

Q4men: Did watching porn have negative consequences for you? If so, what were they? Do you still watch porn?

I watched a ton of porn in my teens and early twenties and it was difficult to break the habit. It was instant gratification and that made it difficult to resist at the time. Looking back, it only had negative consequences for me.

I didn’t have any virility when I was actually around women

I began having trouble getting an erection even when I did have sex with women in real life. Despite the women being very attractive to me, they just couldn’t compare to the girls in porn.

Watching porn is a very self-focused thing and as a result, when I had sex, I didn’t enjoy it. I hated not just finishing immediately and getting the girl off was a chore.

This in turn, turned the women off because there’s nothing to make her feel worse than an uninterested guy fingering her.

It also made me very very insecure about dick size. I was convinced that women would be disappointed and pine for a much larger dick than mine.

And it gave me unrealistic expectations of female sexuality and what sex was actually like. There are likely more, but those are what immediately come to mind. I think most men would be better off if they completely stopped watching porn. I don’t see how it benefits them if they desire actual sex and relationships with actual women.

These days I don’t watch it anymore and i think it’s made women and sex much more valuable to me. Foreplay is more fun for me and I’m much more in the moment and I pay much more attention to the woman in front of me now. For example, I ignored tons of body language from women before and now it’s so much more natural for me to read it and respond to it. Now When I have sex the woman in front of me is like the only other person who exists, but when I was watching porn all the time I had tons of images running through my head.

On top of it, I’m much more confident and comfortable with my own dick. Now I understand that PIV isn’t necessarily the most physically satisfactory part of sex for most women, but as a man I think being confident or comfortable with your dick is pretty important. No one will be good in bed if they feel small.

That said, maybe my case is just an especially bad one. So I’m curious what your experiences have been and whether or not you’d suggest other men abandon porn or whether you think it’s harmless.

And got this response from a mod: https://imgur.com/a/Qg4AO7b

M00NCREST · 2019-12-02T22:15:59+00:00

ok Coomer

CainPrice · 2019-12-02T19:12:39+00:00

There's this bizarre theory that an extremely significant amount of men are porn-addicts who jerk off all day but can't fuck their unhappy girlfriends worth a darn because they're constantly limp from jerking off 6 times a day.

There's another bizarre theory that all men watch porn and get these crazy ideas that sex is supposed to be wild and crazy and that's what real life is like, and they abuse and push and manipulate their girlfriends into degrading and painful, unenjoyable sex acts all because of porn.

Neither one of these theories are true, but that's partly why radical women hate porn.

There's another more true theory that the porn industry is bad to the women who participate in it. And that's true for most of the women. Honestly, porn is a shitty business to be in because anybody can do it. It's like working a cash register. It doesn't require much skill. A few people might stand out as extremely talented at the register, but most people do a pretty mediocre job and that's just fine for working a register. So they're all paid poorly and treated as expendable. But unlike a cash register, it's fucking on camera, so there's more discomfort and wear and tear on the body. Not to mention that the kind of people involved in the sex business tend to be drug users who make bad choices in other areas of their life, so this compounds the wear on their bodies.

A lot of guys around here don't like porn because it's something losers do. Porn is used by guys who can't get laid. And if you can't meet your own sexual needs with another person, you're just plain not a grown-up. It's like not knowing how to buy groceries and cook dinner. If you can't meet your own food needs, you're not grown up yet. Same with your sexual needs. If you're jerking off to porn instead of getting laid, you lack the basic human ability to meet your own needs. It's not a good look.

2019-12-02T19:08:32+00:00

I really dont care but all the kvetching over no nut November has me thinking the nofappers might be on to something

EsauTheRed · 2019-12-02T19:47:17+00:00

It's just women being pissed off they can't compete against pixels. Porn is great, allows men the opportunity to see women they're actually attracted too.

brokegradstudent_93 · 2019-12-02T21:15:14+00:00

My fiancé watches porn and I have no problem with casual viewing sometimes. I do think porn addiction is a bad thing. I also am viscerally turned off by almost all porn I’ve seen. It’s just gross to me. No love in it at all. I know our sex drives are different but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t glad he’s stopped watching porn almost entirely

41013 · 2019-12-03T03:33:53+00:00

If the porn industry wasn’t so rapey and if I didn’t see the effects of porn on the things men try in bed and their issues with keeping it hard, I would not have a problem with it. This isn’t even referring to the guys that end up addicted to it, just normal guys.

2019-12-03T03:59:03+00:00

Porn makes men terrible in bed. They skip foreplay, stick it in straight away, focus on their own pleasure and walk away afterwards with no cuddling or affection. Men weren’t like this in the bedroom before the internet porn came along.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2019-12-03T07:13:00+00:00

Women seethe at the thought of being replaced by ethots.

Also, daily reminder that pornography addiction is not recognized as a disorder by any formal health research institution.

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2019-12-04T16:05:58+00:00

The fact that in this culture, it is normal (almost expected) for pubescent boys to watch and pleasure themselves to videos of women being beaten up, raped, sodomised, even urinated on, usually by force, is horrific.

The fact that in this culture, it is normal (almost expected) for elderly men to watch and pleasure themselves to teenagers roleplaying as daughters, babysitters, cheerleaders, schoolgirls, is horrific.

Do not normalise pornography. It’s not normal. It’s not healthy.

Bntt89 · 2019-12-02T19:36:07+00:00

It's the same as slut shaming it's the opposite gender trying to control the other genders sexuality. If women arent having sex with their guy everyday then why the fuck is this women telling them how to express that sexuality. If a guy cant get it up for a girl, I think that girl is probably not got enough. Because I've never had issues getting it up and I've watched porn my whole life.

Willow-girl · 2019-12-03T04:29:06+00:00

When you've been with men who take an hour and a half to come thanks to "death grip," you'll understand our objection!

WIA20XX · 2019-12-02T19:07:59+00:00

Why now? Porn induced erectile dysfunction.

Millennials and zoomers (the bulk of guys in the sexual market) have grown up with high definition, easily accessible, and free pornography.

The other classic porn issues like objectification, misogyny, sexual violence, unhealthy expectations of sexual acts or women's bodies, etc weren't on the front burner. a Aka Things that made male porn consumption bad for women weren't a big deal.

But now the young guys can't get it up for actual chicks because of death grip or lack of psychological stimulation - now that lots of guys can't fuck it is a a problem to talk about.

No longer isolated cases, but widespread issues.

philomexa · 2019-12-02T19:10:34+00:00

It's pathetic to watch another man fuck a woman you'd like to fuck.

Especially when there are plenty of women around who are sadly going unfucked.

Kos_-_Omak · 2019-12-02T19:29:07+00:00

Most of the women on PPD are insecure because they're fugly and/or post-Wall

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2019-12-03T01:30:27+00:00

I only need to be touched down there while touching her simultaneously to get full erection. And I still watch porn everyday and masturbate before a woman comes to my house. I still get those same strong erections. It is you women who only lay like a fish can kill a guys libido. That's the problem.

Cash50000 · 2019-12-03T01:45:28+00:00

Well, since I don't get to have sex for real, porn is a very convenient outlet for my physiology. I'm therefore rather thankful for its existence and availability.

mistresswhat · 2019-12-03T23:08:39+00:00

I don't believe in porn addiction and every time I say that on here it's some dude who gets mad at me, so

wingbark · 2019-12-02T19:17:44+00:00

Porn is generally just destructive for male sexuality. Makes them gross to women

wtknight · 2019-12-02T19:40:05+00:00

Porn decreases productivity, including sexual productivity with women. But if a man watches porn and is still accomplishing his goals in life, or if he has just given up on women altogether, then I don’t see a problem with it.

QueenCousland86 · 2019-12-02T20:16:14+00:00

I have zero issues with porn, assuming it doesn't involve children, animals, maiming, or anything else too disturbing, and assuming it doesn't fuck up your sex life.

rhyth7 · 2019-12-03T08:16:38+00:00

Porn and the sex indutry is terrible, because it is interwined with sex trafficking and exploitation and also creates real changes in the brain of the viewer affecting how they perceive others. It is not empowering and causes real problems. It is all about the degradation of women.

lilsaihah · 2019-12-02T17:59:53+00:00

Porn does have genuine effects on guys, COOMER/cumbrain is a real thing, reprograms your brain so that you only deprive pleasure from COOOMING. You don't develop the skills that are associated with successful dating; people who get into weird stuff (furries is the main example I can think of) don't have the conversational skills to talk about anything other than the material in their spankbank. I think that's why guys don't like it and nofap's a thing.

I'd like to hear women's thoughts on it.

GrievenLeague · 2019-12-02T19:32:59+00:00

[deleted]

Title	What is the deal with porn hate?
Author	GrievenLeague
Upvotes	19
Comments	466
Date	December 2, 2019 5:47 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/e52kb8/what_is_the_deal_with_porn_hate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-the-deal-with-porn-hate.297512 https://theredarchive.com/post/297512

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