Women of Purple Pill debate. Where do you feel like the current dating climate is right now when it comes to men and women?

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-08-06T20:00:41+00:00

I think we're running out of common community spaces where people can hang out and meet people of the opposite sex.

Online can be a shit show and the gender ratio in it is screwed for a reason.

Gingersparadise · 2022-08-07T00:27:17+00:00

Oof where do I start.

Women are so mentally fucked from trauma and or not holding themselves to a high standard but then still want men to view them as wholesome and date worthy.

Men are so unavailable emotionally probably due to trauma as well. They also knit-pick and don’t put much effort out of fear it won’t work anyway.

On the other hand, we also have the situationships and fwb that assume well we are dating because we are fucking but no one even wants to discuss outright emotions or becoming serious.

And let’s not forget the never ending grass is always greener syndrome. WAKE UP PPL the grass is green where you water it!!!!

General statements obviously doesn’t apply to all but man I’m glad I don’t date anymore & am in a serious relationship.

pinktuliplover · 2022-08-06T17:08:59+00:00

Dating now is mediocre IMO. It needs work from both sides.

People need to be more intentional and upfront about what they want. You need to be considerate of other’s time and resources. If you want to casually date, state that and don’t entertain people looking for something serious. If you’re looking for something serious, stop being afraid of scaring people off. Have standards.

Everyone should have standards. And a lot of people don’t. Or they do and they don’t stand firm on them.

I think most women find it easy to get sex. Maybe not good sex, but sex nonetheless. Finding a date is harder, but not hard unless you’re ugly I think.

Finding a good relationship, tough. It actually takes work, and most people aren’t willing to work. Laziness and selfishness is rampant.

resultsmatter1 · 2022-08-07T05:38:57+00:00

This is the worst time in my life time I’ve seen for dating. A lot of you youngins have no basis for comparison before the rise of apps and social media and for that, I feel deeply sorry for you all.

Romance is all but dead. Finding a partner is all but dead. Everything is highly transactional if you end up on the fortunate end and finding a relationship.

EulenWatcher · 2022-08-06T17:46:12+00:00

I think dating as well as gender roles are in this somewhat confusing shifting period of time, when there's a mix of different values and expectations and people can struggle to figure out what they actually want and to find suitable partners.

Overall I'd like to see the shift to a clearer communication and maybe more egalitarian dating scene. I think it would help both genders if women initiated more often and if going Dutch was the norm. Also if men didn't lie or omit their intentions and were open about seeking ONS. As well as women.

I think a lot of people are fine with dating, but some probably wish they could get a better deal. Not necessarily because what they have is bad, but rather due to FOMO and the tendency to compare what you have to what others claim to have. Social medias do hell of a trick here.

sarkington · 2022-08-06T17:47:27+00:00

Dating is capitalism, not socialism. So it’s working as intended.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-08-06T17:30:33+00:00

I think it’s absolutely fine,
I work in hospitality so I regularly see couples in all shapes n sizes together, I know the best way to meet someone is be through work or friends but if you do decide to do OLD it’s best to take it with a pinch of salt. A lot of the women are just looking for justification and like the attention and a lot of the guys are just looking for quick hook-ups

anon018274031 · 2022-08-07T00:56:30+00:00

Dating needs work from everyone.

I’m extremely unsatisfied when it comes to dating and relationships to the point I’m thinking about dating women 😂

2022-08-07T00:08:30+00:00

I feel like OLD has made people think it's ok to be rude, ghost, and be extremely judgmental. I think women are more satisfied than men.

sabiinvesting · 2022-08-06T18:30:38+00:00

The women/men are evil echo chambers are not helping. Views should be based on one's own experiences, and not feed each other's anger.

People being stuck to their socializing and not socializing with others cannot be helpful either. OLD dehumanizes people.

Situationships aren't helping with some women's delusions... + I think it would help if more people were monogamous and valued LTR's.

There's lack of personal accountability, and so many people are acting that they deserve better when they lack in so many areas. They need to realize what the difference is between the actually successful people and the ones who are not, and not just place the blame on other gender. Look at ALL the success cases, and not just pick and choose the ones who won the lottery.

I think women could have problematic vetting skills.

I think personal accountability and vetting skills could be worked on for both genders.

63daddy · 2022-08-06T17:10:37+00:00

I’ve read many articles indicating that men are dating less and especially being more cautious about marriage., more men consciously choosing to stay single. At the same time, women say it’s harder to find a “good man” This comes as no surprise to me.

Society is hypergamous but placing more emphasis on educating women and related practices make hypergamy less sustainable. At the same time there’s less stigma to staying single and also not the same tax advantages to marriage there once were. It makes perfect sense to me more young men are shying away from marriage and it makes sense women are having a harder time finding a good man who will provide for her the way she’d like.

ruboyuri · 2022-08-06T18:01:18+00:00

People are doing what they want and not doing what they don’t want, which I find ideal

hearyoume14 · 2022-08-06T22:13:01+00:00

Most people aren’t in a place where dating is a good idea and tend to be oblivious to those not on their radar.

People keep wanting trappings of a exclusive relationship while keeping it casual.It’s the weirdest thing.

Having conversations is apparently hard. I’ve seen people marry without discussing things like children,finances,etc.

Boundaries and standards are shaky. Men will cast a wide net(which is getting them shadow banned on sites like tinder),both aren’t setting boundaries,laying it out in the open and communication is terrible.I (32F)keep hearing “other people are doing it this way” when I ask about doing something different then the methods not working.

I’ve seen people get mad that someone asked them out In person because even if they like them having a conversation is near impossible.

Women especially,though men are guilty as well,are letting other’s opinions dictate their love lives.

tealpentagon · 2022-08-06T17:13:42+00:00

it's definitely a little bleak. i think hookup culture has been a net negative. men expect sex immediately, which i'm not comfortable with. so it's made dating for me kind of exhausting and discouraging. i think it's kinda cheapened sex. it's like junk food now. but an emotional connection is especially important to me so that's just my opinion.

online dating isn't all bad. two of my best friends met their significant other on hinge and are both in long-term stable relationships. but i do think in general it exacerbates hookup culture. i also think meeting someone in person is just way better in like establishing ~tension~

Trouvette · 2022-08-07T04:21:59+00:00

The market sucks, and I think it is because people are not honest with themselves when it comes to their faults. It’s not a single gender thing. There are women out there who think they can get away with murder and there are men who think they should be appreciated for doing the bare minimum. Be honest with yourself and be honest with others.

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Booexgirlfriend · 2022-08-06T19:01:22+00:00

I'm out of the market (?), but during the time I was hunting and dating, I realized that both genders need to become the best version of themselves, most of them are lazy.

Stop_Maximum · 2022-08-06T20:39:57+00:00

It needs work I would say but at the end everyone is different. Some people will not struggle or have never really struggled when dating.

I personally didn’t like dating when I tried it the first time and That put me off completely

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-08-07T01:20:19+00:00

Personally myself I really don't know where the dating market is at right now for women , All my friends are married. Don't get me wrong I can see the plethora of women I think that are searching for men now . I've been on this Reddit it's kind of open my eyes up to see why they can't find a man plausibly. There's literally now a check off list that goes off in my mind about how and why possibly they can't find a man .

Now if I go by what my son's state, my oldest son who will be 24 this coming year he's dating around sampling the market, and my 22 yo middle son has a girlfriend. They've been together almost a year now. So I guess it's going okay for them . Neither have been without female attention since high-school.

mandoa_sky · 2022-08-07T02:13:08+00:00

if people were more honest/upfront i think it would save everyone a lot of time and hassle.

eg. i'm very open about the fact i have a severe fur allergy. you can't convince me I'll love your pet eventually when i know i'm already a walking drug cabinet already.

Direct_Background888 · 2022-08-07T05:06:54+00:00

I like dating, I just hate online dating.

AngelsMuse · 2022-08-06T18:48:20+00:00

Honestly, I think we are in a very rough transition period. Women are becoming more educated and more able to support themselves, and a lot of men are having trouble with that because they were raised to see themselves as the strong provider, but women on the whole don't need that so much. Not only is the provider not needed so much, but the whole idea of the nuclear family that pretty much all of us were raised with as the ideal is now not the only valid choice. It's wonderful that we have options, but it does make for a lot of uncertainty too as people figure out what they actually want versus what they were always told they should want.

The state of things financially at least in the US is terrible for dating. High rents, college debt, everything in general being more expensive means less disposable income for that sort of thing.

Hookup culture becoming so mainstream I'm not sure has done us a lot of favors. I kind of struggle with this personally because I absolutely feel like people can and should do what they want sexually. 100%. But at the same time I feel like it has made it too easy to treat people as disposable. And generally speaking it benefits men far more than women.

Online dating...Ugh. Great for some people, flaming dumpster fire for the rest of us. It gives you more opportunity to meet people that you otherwise wouldn't be exposed to, yet I feel it also has a tendency to draw attract certain types, not in a good way. Obviously more normal people than not, but I feel like the percentage of narcissists and emotionally damaged people is probably higher in online dating than you would normally run into. Also, people who use dating sites tend to end a relationship and very quickly try to jump into another, and that's just unhealthy all the way around. I'm really happy so many of my friends have given up on them and are going back to trying to meet people IRL.

Marzipan-Happy · 2022-08-06T23:17:38+00:00

It's toxic for both men and women.

2022-08-07T14:26:45+00:00

Most my friends are coupled up and planning mortgages and kids. They are mostly working to middle class.

I have a a handful of friends and acquaintances who are in their early 30s - mid fifties and have chosen the hedonistic, independent route. They travel, live modestly and have sporadic STRs and casual sex.

Obviously, as they party hard they're not the most attractive individuals - yet literally none of them are incels.

So this is the scene in the UK amongst those demographics.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-08-06T17:47:49+00:00

It's okay from my perspective. Though there sadly is a rise in incel/pill mentality it emboldens those people and makes them more obvious/easier to weed out making it much simpler for me to find the chill people I'm attracted to.

It's still a jungle out there. For every person out there who is cool and conversates through a dating app in an engaging non-aggressive manner there are also stalkers and death threats and rape threats to sift through, report, and then go back to the drawing board on safety techniques.

I see a lot of lust out there and some love too and a lot of healthy relationships starting both in the real world as well as online.

We're still in the middle of a pandemic that kills thousands all the time throughout the world not to mention economical woes and social unrest so there's a lot of stress/anxiety and depression out there, but I also see more people working to get help and manage it than ever before, even with limited resources. I think that's promising.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2022-08-06T17:50:04+00:00

There is a lot of laziness and complaining on both sides. Things would greatly improve if both sides stopped acting desperate for a relationship and instead focused on improving their own life in other ways. If a relationship comes about so be it if not it’s no big deal.

2022-08-08T13:16:24+00:00

I’m content not dating. I’m glad that we live in a society where you can refuse to date, marry or have sex. Otherwise I think many people forced themselves to enter relationships that were subpar.

I think broadly the dating market is fine and there isn’t much that worries me. I think there are many different styles of relationship.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-08-06T17:15:29+00:00

Nobody is completely satisfied, but we're in one of the best times to date in history. Your chances of finding a love match and being able to get what you actually want out of dating are higher than before.

Antonija_Blagorodna · 2022-08-06T20:31:52+00:00

What is a dating climate? I think it’s different for everybody. I definitely suck at dating but that’s my fault and has nothing to do with a dating climate or something like that

DiamondLilyD · 2022-08-06T20:48:09+00:00

Definitely not.

Men are the problem.

Are you currently happy with the dating climate? And what things do you think made the climate less optimal when it wasnt?

No, men's behaviour.

Mostly do you feel most women are satisfied when it comes to women finding partners for sex, dating, and relationships?

Definitely not, more and more women are giving up on men than ever before.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-08-06T17:40:29+00:00

I have no clue. I haven’t dated in 10 years.

Catesa · 2022-08-07T02:12:34+00:00

A decent chunk of normal people settle for good enough and are more or less content with what they have.

Desirable people have to filter trough a lot of people to find people who aren't as desirable to find someone who is actually emotionally healthy enough to have a relationship with. Otherwise hookups or friends with benefits or a cluster of bad relationships one after another.

The rest seem to be in an intractable conflict kind of situation. That started with free love and birth control and escalated to full blown feminism and escalated further to no fault divorce and hookup culture and destabilizing of gender relations, now there is red pill and feminazi like movements and now has further escalated into mainstream overturning roe and wade, and Casey which led to no fucking men who haven't had vasectomies which while are the safest birth control in the realm of side effects aren't always reversible.

Joewomble1 · 2022-08-07T15:39:11+00:00

Both are being screwed over my social media

2022-08-07T16:11:42+00:00

We are too different to date.

whybotherany · 2022-08-07T16:27:19+00:00

Dating today is a dystopian nightmare. Very glad I found a few partners that I love so I can just stop!

lovestocomment · 2022-08-07T17:09:33+00:00

Men either are way too clingy or totally distant. Like, ‘move in with me’ after two months or ‘you just some dumb slut’ after knowing them for ten years. Both genders cheating.

I am a woman (22) and I have had an awful experience dating. The guys are so obsessed and controlling sometimes, it makes me want to be alone. And the one I really cared about went narc ego crazy so he just detached from me and tries to float in and out of my life.

I think the internet ruined us all, men and women are all narcissistic and addicted to their phones. Or not narcs and super insecure from watching everyone else be narcs. No one is creating strong real life relationships and sense of community. There’s no where to go and meet people besides tindr and loud clubs where everyone is drunk. Most people have anxiety and numb genitalia from taking too many psych meds and being constantly bombarded with sex and porn. Everyone is downright depressed and addicted to one substance or another. And everyone’s broke. And then we put unrealistic expectations on each other. And pretend that there’s some hotter dude or lady that is gonna be the One.

I am young but personally have kinda given up at the moment. I am majorly concerned by how I see men and women acting. And I’m not physically attracted to very many people in general. So I will die alone if I have to.

Rhubarb_Fair · 2022-09-19T10:10:38+00:00

Dating scene?!? What? Where?!?

All I can see is men looking for hookups and casual sex on tap. It's incredibly rare that I see a man who wants something more than that.

Title	Women of Purple Pill debate. Where do you feel like the current dating climate is right now when it comes to men and women?
Author	MickIsBlue
Upvotes	44
Comments	311
Date	August 6, 2022 4:59 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/whsxu5/women_of_purple_pill_debate_where_do_you_feel/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-of-purple-pill-debate-where-do-you-feel-like.1126765 https://theredarchive.com/post/1126765

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