Is it a deal breaker if she does not want to ever try anal?

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-09-17T17:03:18+00:00

The majority of women don’t try anal. Of those that do, a good chunk of them have had a bad experience with it from an inexperienced/selfish partner that could be downright traumatic.

Imagine the first time you ever tried playing basketball and the ball got launched straight into your face. Your nose was bleeding your eyes and cheek were swollen for days and it just hurt to move. Now imagine that it was your ass. That’s what some girls experience “their first time” so I get why some go “never again!”

But if you and your partner are up for it, and educate yourself: REALLY EDUCATE! (Don’t be looking at “anal blaster 13” porn and think that has anything to do with real life) to learn about preparation, warm up and lube (and lots of communication!) and it can be a great experience for both sometimes.

But again, despite what porn tells you: most women don’t want or do it.

onirroc · 2022-09-17T16:42:53+00:00

No. My wife is willing, but neither of us are a big fan. Anal is kind of gross.

purplish_possum · 2022-09-17T17:25:41+00:00

Nah -- I get all the anal I want -- none!

Play_Muted · 2022-09-17T16:42:25+00:00

no its not

_revelationary · 2022-09-17T17:24:32+00:00

Lmao I think my husband would file for divorce if I told him I wanted to try anal. We both are very okay with leaving the asshole for its natural intended purpose.

anonymous_redditor91 · 2022-09-17T17:06:20+00:00

No, I have no interest in doing anal. If I was with a woman who liked it, I'd do it for her sake, but so far that hasn't happened.

Optimal_Occasion_386 · 2022-09-17T17:02:24+00:00

No

I will never understand the desire for anal. It’s 1 centimeter away from an objectively better sex spot

It’s like wanting to eat through your nose

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-09-17T16:50:00+00:00

No. That wouldn't bother me. I thing there will be plenty of men That would be fine with that, maybe just let them know early on that it's off limits.

drew8311 · 2022-09-17T17:02:40+00:00

Not a dealbreaker

xaiur · 2022-09-17T16:47:03+00:00

No. It's completely optional and not required for a healthy sexual relationship

2022-09-17T17:12:36+00:00

Not a dealbreaker but if she wants it I’m game

CliffPR · 2022-09-17T22:18:30+00:00

Absolutely. Peg me or get the fuck out of my house.

EndHlts · 2022-09-17T16:54:52+00:00

Absolutely not. I've never understood the big fascination with anal anything. The vagina is literally biologically designed to be used for sex. Seems gross to stick anything up their ass.

wtknight · 2022-09-17T23:55:14+00:00

It's not a deal breaker for me. I don't think that it's a deal breaker for most other guys either, although they if they had a choice between two equally attractive women and one was willing to try anal and the other wasn't, a lot of guys would probably pick the first woman.

I think that it's a deal breaker for many men if they somehow find out that a woman tried anal with some other guy but won't try it with him. A woman might just want to keep her past experience in this matter secret.

Jayfar14 · 2022-09-18T00:22:28+00:00

No anal is disgusting. Literal shit comes from there

onestH · 2022-09-18T14:07:33+00:00

No, it doesn’t bother me if a girl doesn’t want to do anal. I will and have dumped a girl for not swallowing, however.

Magnito-was-right · 2022-09-17T17:15:39+00:00

I would only do anal if the guy let me peg him first.

Sudden-Team2415 · 2022-09-17T17:53:16+00:00

Anal is for guys with small dicks. Some women even enjoy anal more than PIV if the guy their with doesn't have a big dick.

SoooDisappointed · 2022-09-17T18:18:49+00:00

Not being adventurous is a dealbreaker to me, which isn't limited to anal. Still, if you can never get a man because every man expect you to do something specific that you don't feel comfortable at all, you should choose to be alone. There's not much we can do about it.

Hungry-Nebula · 2022-09-17T19:23:02+00:00

That is such a weird thing to make or break a relationship. I could imagine if you said "if she did not ever want to try anything new in the bedroom", but to limit it specifically to anal is just kinda... weird.

carlenvirgo · 2022-09-17T20:14:25+00:00

That’s because straight guys should learn from gay guys the correct way to approach it.. it’s a huge process to actually loosen up enough that it’s not painful. Guys should accept it in their ass too so they can understand why it hurts. Supposedly prostate stimulation is awesome for guys but most are too ashamed to try it.

armordog99 · 2022-09-17T17:40:35+00:00

No. A lot of women do not do anal, at all. Of those that try most don’t like it.

Now you can have whatever standards you want. But you will be seriously limiting the number of partners you can have.

On a side note in my younger, single days (early 90s) I dated two women that not only did anal, but loved it. One was a submissive and enjoyed being dominated and the other was very religious and thought it was less sinful than vaginal sex.

They both either would play with their clit or have me play with their clit while doing it and said they had very strong orgasms from it.

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DiligentProgresses · 2022-09-17T16:42:08+00:00

Been there done that it's not that great

However, as to the broader context:

Best deal or no deal

Acceptable_Parking96 · 2022-09-17T16:53:04+00:00

I don’t care

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-09-17T17:33:36+00:00

I'm a millenial and never gotten anal (even though I wanted it) but it's not really a dealbreaker. Seems pretty petty to make that a dealbreaker

NationalistGoy · 2022-09-17T19:11:45+00:00

Not a deal breaker. Anal is not something I go crazy about. Maybe once in a while is OK while wearing a condom.

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2022-09-17T19:33:35+00:00

No. My GF doesn't want to try it. I've had it before and prefer vaginal by far, it's not even a question.

Gilmoregirlin · 2022-09-17T21:22:39+00:00

Do you have a small penis? No offense please. I was only able to enjoy anal sex with one of my partners and he had a small penis, otherwise it as painful and not fun at all. I am the type of person that will try anything.

Anti_Thing · 2022-09-17T22:52:44+00:00

I'm sex deprived & I'm not interested in anal at all. I'm not sure if I would ever be willing to try anal.

I was never into hardcore porn TBH. I'm uneasy with the thought of oral sex as well. Maybe I'd be willing to eat my future wife out if she really wants it & I have great difficulty making her orgasm otherwise. I don't see the appeal in blowjobs at all.

HappyHerpes · 2022-09-18T10:58:07+00:00

Is this post downvoted by r/anal or something?

Sad_Entertainer6312 · 2022-09-18T15:46:44+00:00

No, definitely not.

In my opinion if a guy wants anal then he needs to be willing to be a bottom too.

Dumboddball · 2022-09-18T16:29:35+00:00

Almost no one wants to hear from guys who are deprived from female attention. But I am and still won’t do whatever… because anal grosses me out and as much as I find the female gender extremely hard to relate to, on this one subject I relate to them more than with other men since I don’t know why most of them love it.

supershotmd · 2022-09-19T01:21:38+00:00

I always considered that to be something Chads do for added experiment on bodies they don't care about. "Let me try out that hole now". I've never heard of a guy actually pester his girlfriend for anal. That's something you see in fwbs and booty calls.

the-4th-survivor · 2022-09-17T18:48:49+00:00

Not a deal breaker for me because anal is gross. I don't want shit on my dick.

EventSea8621 · 2022-09-17T19:01:07+00:00

lol no wtf, i dont even want to stick my dick in somebodys poop hole.

acj181st · 2022-09-17T20:24:24+00:00

Literally zero interest. That's the hole that shit comes from. No thanks.

rickmackdaddy · 2022-09-17T17:00:00+00:00

Depends on the guy. Some dudes are grossed out by it, some are super into it.

I think for most of us in the middle we’d like to know we have the occasional option, even if we don’t exercise it much.

MC-Purp · 2022-09-17T17:12:11+00:00

Not at all. I’ve tried with girlfriends in the past and it’s never gone well. My fiancé has said she’s willing if I want to, but I don’t ever see myself asking.

Niko_The_Fallen · 2022-09-17T21:01:39+00:00

No of course not. I find it strange that you feel the need to ask a bunch of strangers. But personally for me, I could go the rest of my life without anal. I've done it with most long term partners I've had, but not a lot. I'd much rather have regular sex. What if she insisted on putting her fingers inside you?

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-09-17T21:57:43+00:00

Hard boundary, i would dump. Current girl takes it in the ass daily.

space_dan1345 · 2022-09-17T16:45:15+00:00

Nope, I don't know a guy who has tried it and feels like it's a must have

NockerJoe · 2022-09-17T18:11:05+00:00

IME I don't really want it but had a partner proactivley declare it would never happen and that was a turnoff in and of itself. Its not the thing itself so much as a refusal to be adventurous thats the issue. If you come into q relationship declaring you refuse to do X Y and Z it doesn't even matter ifbyour partner wants to do those things, theres no real way to turn a refusal into a positive. It would be like if I walked into a McDonalds at like noon and declared I didn't want pancakes. They don't even serve pancakes at that point but there's no way that the no would leave a positive impression even so.

Snivelingincel · 2022-09-17T18:57:34+00:00

I was with a girl that was very hesitant to try anal. She was also much more sexually and socially conservative than me (didn’t like to smoke weed or try other drugs) I felt disappointed and dissatisfied and tried for years to have her open up. Eventually she relented and we tried and it was fun but in the meantime during our on and off relationship I had hooked up with girls who weren’t so sexually and socially conservative who were open to doing anal without any coaxing. I always had a much better time hanging out with them than I did with the original girl even though I loved her.

Eventually we went our separate ways because it became obvious we weren’t as compatible as we thought. You can love someone and just not be compatible and it’s a much better use of your time looking for women who are already down for whatever you want than trying to make someone else fit your ideal.

Don’t listen to these people telling you it’s not a dealbreaker. You deserve to have the kind of sex that satisfies you and if you aren’t, your desires will not suddenly disappear. You will only get more resentful over time not getting your needs met. There are plenty of women out there for whom you won’t have this problem.

Overarching_Chaos · 2022-09-17T17:39:52+00:00

Deal breaker? No. I've never had anal with most of my GFs because it requires preparation, patience and comfortable surroundings, most of which are not usually available. For starters, if a woman has never tried it, you have to start with fingering, then when she gets used to it proceed with a small toy and then you can try putting your dick in.

It takes a while for the receiver to get used to it if you want to minimise pain but it can be enjoyable for both.

Psybur · 2022-09-21T16:56:23+00:00

It's not a dealbreaker as long as she doesn't give me shit over something I may not want to do in bed.

childish_badda_bingo · 2022-09-17T17:35:20+00:00

Yes. Frankly, it’s a pretty vanilla act.

sympatheticsunflower · 2022-09-17T17:53:04+00:00

If so chances are the guy is a total dick

Hoopy223 · 2022-09-17T18:51:33+00:00

Lol

I’d be kind of put off by a woman who didn’t want to “try stuff” every now and then.

midwesternMD · 2022-09-17T17:28:13+00:00

This is tough. I’m looking for wife material, but the women I’ve been meeting lately are largely “bleh.” The few who do excite me feel “bleh” about me. Maybe this is because I’m in a bit of a rut, but part of me is rethinking my expectations (unlikely to change), and another part of me is rethinking my goals (more likely to stop looking for wife/kids material and just date for a relationship).

If I didn’t feel like I was in a rut, I’d easily say that yes, no anal is a dealbreaker for me. I know that I enjoy it. It’s a different physical feeling, it’s a very different psychological control/intimacy feeing, and I like that. I don’t necessarily want to have anal sex every week, but I do think that it would be difficult to accept that I’d never get to do it again unless I wanted to find somebody else. I don’t think I could accept that in good conscience for a life partner. That said, if it’s just dating for a nonspecific relationship, I could probably handle that.

That said, my dating experiences as of late haven’t been great. So I might put something like anal on the backburner, since merely finding someone I find reasonably attractive, under 32ish, and without kids is proving to be somewhat challenging alone.

2022-09-17T18:24:58+00:00

The one thing I do know about anal is that if not everyone involved is bang up for it, you’re gonna have a bad time

ManWazo · 2022-09-17T16:54:54+00:00

Not a deal breaker. Can always have another play partner whos into anal play.

chilikettlechips · 2022-09-17T17:44:42+00:00

Life is too short. It's a dealbreaker.

Anykindofland · 2022-09-17T17:52:42+00:00

Depends. Has she done anal before and now suddenly decides its not for her anymore. Then yes, its a dealbreaker. If she never liked it, never done is frequently and is consistent in her stand towards anal, than no.

PassMyGuard · 2022-09-17T18:38:31+00:00

I don’t love the idea of anal, so no

throwaway_kcal · 2022-09-17T18:57:29+00:00

Yes, if she doesn't even try to, that means she's not into you that much. If she doesn't want to scratch your itches, why should you? (Not talking about some borderline crazy fetishes, but anal is a pretty vanilla fetish). Once she's into you she'll blow you in the room that her younger sister might barge in any time, let you finger her in public. When she's not into you (that can be stages of the same woman) - she'll throw a fit that you playfully poked her butt in mostly nonsexual way in the visibility of said sister. Her panties are either wet or they will be eventually wet for someone else. Butt in this comment section there will be lots of virtue signaling beta men "i didnt ever want it". " I don't want anything in my ass so i dont expect anything in hers".

Best_Mord_Brazil · 2022-09-17T17:51:40+00:00

Lol at the Americans who think anal is nasty because they don't wash their assholes.

Buy a toilet seat bidet and use it every time. This is another benefit to the white STEMlord going to Asia, they will learn how to wash their and their partners ass properly.

Praymyexdies2 · 2022-09-17T18:03:38+00:00

She would try anything with Chad and you deserve the full Chad experience

dbz19_kai · 2022-09-18T09:03:22+00:00

Not at all. Not even remotely, I never want to try anal.

HOWEVER, if she's done it with a past partner, but refuses to do it with me because she sees it as "degrading", then that's a red flag because she's okay with a previous ex degrading her but not me?

It's not that I want to do it, it's the logic behind that that would make me dump her.

Ainsleygz · 2022-09-17T17:51:02+00:00

It would be a dealbreaker if a man did not want to have anal with me (whether he wants anal play on himself doesn’t matter to me, I’m fine either way)

Warm_Gur8832 · 2022-09-17T18:42:35+00:00

Only if she wouldn’t do it to me lol

optimus69prime69 · 2022-09-17T19:18:38+00:00

Kinda. I don't want to end up with someone that has had her fun and now just wants plain missionary. Not wanting to try something is totally different from not wanting to EVER try it.

Final_Philosopher663 · 2022-09-17T19:35:35+00:00

25M.No its not a deal breaker . I sincerely believe that inside a relationship it can be a very good place to try things safely and get to know yourself and your partner better. Having said all that I don't think its the same as oral sex and if people don't want to do anal they SHOULD have it as a strong line that wont be passed. In general I dont like the selfish talks like you should never compromise yourself in a relationship and such . And its always good to hear the previous generation to see what is "normal" and "expected" in sex so we have a clearer view and we are not "mind controlled" by every new trend there is. And I know things change and norms change but still chill a bit with the new trends, at todays times there is huge influence so take a more rational approach (remember when 50shades came out).

JDWhiz96 · 2022-09-17T20:33:47+00:00

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2022-09-17T21:17:04+00:00

…Is this a troll question?

LeaveInternational45 · 2022-09-17T21:41:18+00:00

I used to do anal for my ex boyfriend on birthdays, Christmas, special occasions. Personally, I can‘t come like that and it mainly only fed into the porn fantasy. I think for a real man it‘s enough of a turn on to see me be pleased by him.

Steakman1 · 2022-09-17T22:37:43+00:00

I personally don’t really care for ever trying it. But that’s just me

GallusAA · 2022-09-17T23:18:21+00:00

Just stick it in the hole she wants it in. You'll be fine. You'll bust regardless.

Fun_Push7168 · 2022-09-17T23:19:17+00:00

Nah, it's really more of a novelty than anything. Had it enough times, not like it's really better or anything. Don't care anymore.

I could see when I was younger and hadn't really done it bc it was something I wanted to try at that point it was like well if I know she'll never try it and I want to experience it at some point then we already know this is probably not going to be forever.

iamprosciutto · 2022-09-18T03:08:53+00:00

I'm personally not really into anal. I'm very sensitive to smells, so I tend to stick with the sex acts that don't inherently involve much excrement. It's an act I would like to do someday, but I have basically no desire to pursue right now. My sex life really isn't suffering without it. From what I understand, anal kinks are about as common with men as domination kinks are with women (both are statistically the #1 kink for each sex respectively), so most guys will fantasize about it and want to at least try it at some point

tired_hillbilly · 2022-09-18T03:25:24+00:00

No. Minimal interest in it.

Teflon08191 · 2022-09-18T05:16:44+00:00

but if everybody else engages in something my boundaries can limit my options.

And? If limited options are the consequence of sticking to your boundaries then it's up to you to decide if the tradeoff is worth it.

As for anal, I don't care much for it, but if we use "anal" as a stand-in for "adventurous sexual exploits" then yeah, I'd say it's a deal-breaker if she's not interested in trying different things with me.

Any_Date_9567 · 2022-09-18T12:29:17+00:00

Personally it isn't for me, I'm good with or without trying anal. I've tried it before with partners and I can take it or leave it.

Neptune-Jr · 2022-09-18T17:56:03+00:00

I don't want to try anal so, no.

CosmicBioHazard · 2022-09-18T19:57:19+00:00

Me personally? It grosses me out.

I’ve had a woman express a lot of enthusiasm to try it and I was so turned off I was visibly cringing.

Title	Is it a deal breaker if she does not want to ever try anal?
Author	Just-Pie-5579
Upvotes	0
Comments	178
Date	September 17, 2022 4:40 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xgr8x3/is_it_a_deal_breaker_if_she_does_not_want_to_ever/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-a-deal-breaker-if-she-does-not-want-to-ever.1132692 https://theredarchive.com/post/1132692

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