“I’ll take Anyone at this Point”

Capital-Literature-9 · 2024-01-28T01:48:15+00:00

It's obviously hyperbolic, I don't think there is someone who would actually just take "anyone".

It's not surprising that your friend is frustrated, but my dude is playing on the hardest difficulty, on what is already a difficult game, by being in a city like LA. And I hope he realizes that.

sweetestpineapple · 2024-01-28T01:44:50+00:00

Most people who say this don’t mean it in my experience. If they do, they mean expanding their range to “slightly quirky” at most.

MikeArrow · 2024-01-28T01:07:09+00:00

I've swiped left enough on dating apps to know I won't just take anyone.

But I know for sure that I'm a lot more flexible about looks than I was when I was younger. As a teenager I really wanted that cliche love interest out of a rom com. I had crushes on the most stereotypical popular athletic girls at school, and later, the more offbeat (but still conventionally beautiful) alternative girls. Now I'd like to think I'm a bit more of a realist and more open to someone closer to my level.

ShelterNo2786 · 2024-01-28T01:30:06+00:00

Yes, I 've had male friends say the same thing, it's a bit sad but as a guy you go on dating apps and get 0 matches or really low quality matches I can understand why

No-Click9406 · 2024-01-28T03:34:34+00:00

when people say this they don't mean it literally, what they actually mean is "I'll take the bare minimum"

that means average looking (not attractive, not unattractive)

boring personality

average fashion sense or none at all

etc...

basically someone that matches you just enough for a relationship but not enough to be obsessed with them.

CaseOfInsanity · 2024-01-28T02:23:25+00:00

I think he just relied on the apps too much and therefore didn't see much success if any.

I quit dating apps after creating a fake girl profile and finding out that I got a match virtually 100% of the time and got non stop message from guys.

Planthoe30 · 2024-01-28T05:44:15+00:00

All I needed to read is he lives in LA.. yeah of course he is struggling to date.

Dayman115 · 2024-01-28T14:57:32+00:00

I mean, "anyone" would be a bit hyperbolic. Like, I wouldn't want to be with a murderer or a meth head, but besides some crazy extreme like that, I would basically take anyone at this point. Being alone for your whole life does some shit to your brain. It's hard to explain, but yes when you've gone long enough with no one taking interest you, you start to want anything, just prove it's still possible.

BoogersAndSugar · 2024-01-28T17:17:51+00:00

Decades of nothing but rejection can lead to a level of desperation so extreme the average person can't conceptualize it, let alone even begin to relate to it. Before I had my facial deformities corrected, I never even held a girls hand despite my herculean efforts to change that. I've asked out women that were 3 times my weight, twice my age, highschool dropouts (I have a masters degree), drug addicts, etc, and still got continually rejected. I didn't just say the words "I'll take anyone", but actually lived it.

spiritdancer_ · 2024-01-28T00:50:11+00:00

I feel like they're anyone who says that is over-exaggerating. Even when desperate, there's definitely exists someone that they will not take.

But I would say to your friend that there are a bunch of good looking, average height dudes in LA who are conventionally attractive. He's not a man that stands out from the rest of the men in LA. Perhaps if he's really that desperate, he needs to consider moving to a different city.

No-Lynx657 · 2024-01-28T04:12:30+00:00

Well i dated a girl i wasnt rly attracted to in last september. She got hurt in the end and i felt bad so i try to avoid to repeat the same error

Heavy-Stress-5776 · 2024-01-28T15:50:30+00:00

I'm stubborn as hell and would rather be single indefinitely than date someone I will resent and never feel desire for.

H_T1998 · 2024-01-28T01:51:08+00:00

I’d say male desperation is an epidemic all round tbh. Those who are successful are, and those who aren’t aren’t but the gap is closing

Mundane_Gate_7391 · 2024-01-28T11:28:25+00:00

A conventionally attractive 29 year old is 'not getting anything anymore'

I call bullshit. Either he's not attractive as you aay, or he's being not being honest with you.

NotReallyTired_ · 2024-01-28T02:35:16+00:00

I mostly see this kind of mindset from men, hell even I have this mindset to a reasonable extent. I can't speak for your friend, but I can for other men I know in real life who said similar things. It's really sad because a lot of those men aren't bad both physically and mentally, if anything they're "too normal." I wouldn't know what to say other than lower your standards to ankle levels. The woman I'm with right now has a kid. I decided to go for her because, at some point, I got tired of dealing with the pool of unserious and low-effort women where I'm expected to go to the moon and back just for simple affection and reciprocation. When I finally got that from a single mother, I cannot afford to fuck it up and get thrown back into the desert. If we ever break up, I'm hoping by then AI, augmented, and virtual reality technology will have advanced to a sufficient level where there are convincing AI Partners. I'll deadass invest money into companies working on those techs, cause what's happening to so many men... just ain't it.

What brought me to desperation? I just wanted to be loved/admired and to give it back, also I'm not getting any younger. My friends and siblings are beginning to settle down with their own families, and very soon I'm going to be all alone. I refuse to be that bachelor working 40 hours a week into retirement, with nothing to show for it other than solitary hobbies and traveling.

Aafan_Barbarro · 2024-01-28T10:53:42+00:00

Even if you never dated, you shouldn't take anyone. Sounds like a terrible and fake relationship.

DigEnvironmental3750 · 2024-01-28T14:35:02+00:00

Id take anyone. Its pretty common amongst young guys who have zero options.

Moreover, what brought you to being so desperate?

having zero options

gothiccbitch · 2024-01-28T14:52:15+00:00

i don’t meet as many people who SAY this, but some of their dating habits and high bullshit threshold surely imply it. but i imagine if choices are limited, you truly would take anything. it could be positive in the sense that you may get outside your comfort zone and meet someone who you hit it off with or you could set yourself up for failure by not being fully attracted to someone.

S1lent_Thre4t · 2024-01-28T01:05:17+00:00

I used to say this. To be honest, I was exaggerating, it was more like a cry for help. But I came to understand that nobody really can help me and that I was on my own. I even tried to act on it, but quickly realized that being in a relationship with someone I was not attracted to was impossible. I doubt that there is somebody out here who would truly "take anyone".

WanabeInflatable · 2024-01-28T08:24:00+00:00

Anyone is likely worse than no one. Men should have standards. Accepting "any" woman in your life, even abusive, mentally unstable, traitorous, leeching from your resources - is NOT better than being alone.

There are genuinely good women. But if there is none of them on your radar - it is better to not accept anyone.

Actually women are more wise in that aspect. They prefer loneliness to abuse.

Economy-Shake-1448 · 2024-01-28T01:28:16+00:00

Is your friend only going after the attractive, model “LA” type girls? Or is he expanding his palette to include, oh I don’t know, the MULTITUDE of average looking blue collar non white/ Anglo Saxon women that populate LA.

Here is a workout class at a gym in LA county. Is he open to women who look like this, or no? Another gym in LA. There’s a multitude of women that look like this. Is he down to date them or does he whine that he’s too fit and “average looking” for them?

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-01-28T04:43:42+00:00

I don't think any sane women think "just take anyone" is acceptable as the final fallback position. Women at their wits end either find a candidate they think is tolerable but completely uninspiring, or they stay single, possiblity become a single mother.

"Just take anyone" is a somewhat workable strategy for a man in a world in which you're allowed to publicly beat your wife or deprive her of food or chain her up in the garden shed or any number of other terrible illegal things to suppress behaviour you truly can't stand. I think the fact it was somewhat of a viable option for so long in human history means men haven't been particularly penalized reproductively for using that sort of decision making and aren't as viscerally scared of making decisions that way as they should be.

I also think for a lot of men they don't really understand what "just take anyone" literally means. Their version of "just take anyone" is someone who has obesity or is too old to reproduce or unemployed or grumpy or any number of other inconvenient but still partially workable things but still has a large amount of the same culture and value system as them and will still occupy the role of partner tolerably for a while at least.

Women are frequently approached by men who are comprehensively unsuitable for them in almost every possible way and know a little better how far the concept of "anyone" reaches. Does she want an unemployed, intensely religious Muslim sixty year old schizophrenic man with huge stinky infected wounds on his obese body from his time in the refugee camp and a paranoid fixation on women's cheating? Because he's covered under the concept of "anyone".

I'm volcel. At this point in my life I've accomplished reproduction and quite frankly I don't feel even the sensible compromise options are actually good deals compared to solitude. I clearly will never take just "anyone"

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-01-28T01:20:42+00:00

I imagine most people who say this are exaggerating. Sure, they think they'll take anyone but they know they wouldn't take someone who they find physically repulsive, incredibly annoying to be around, or someone with severe mental health/addiction issues. Some people probably would take anyone, and they'd either come to the conclusion that being alone is better than being with someone you can barely tolerate or, unfortunately, if they're really far gone, they'll stay no matter how bad it is because they've convinced themselves that a shitty partner is better than no partner.

I've dated people just because I hated the idea of being alone in the past, and that shit doesn't end well for anyone involved. Lots of hurt feelings and new baggage to deal with.

LadyLazarus2021 · 2024-01-28T02:52:20+00:00

No I will not take anyone because I leerme what it was like to be in a shitty marriage. LA and DC are awful for dating. Good luck to your friend. I hope he gets out of there. Maybe AZ?

Willow-girl · 2024-01-28T13:13:16+00:00

It's his age. He's 29. His female peers are moving out of the experimental dating phase and starting to dial in on the "husband and kids." Maybe he doesn't seem like husband material?

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daddysgotanew · 2024-01-28T03:31:26+00:00

It’s likely that in a place like LA, he just doesn’t stand out. Conventionally attractive in a place like Southern California is a lot different than Omaha.

I’d imagine that you ain’t shit there unless you look like Sean O’Pry and make a couple million a year. Dude is just in a demographics race that isn’t favorable to his positive attributes. Small fish in a big pond kind of thing.

PMmeareasontolive · 2024-01-28T04:42:35+00:00

You can look at it from the other angle. It's not that you are "taking anyone", it's that maybe you aren't demanding to feel tingles and sparkles or whatever instantly. Where you might have thought, "for me to put forth effort into this, it's got to be a HELL YES!" you may now think "well, that wasn't objectively awful, perhaps I should give it another shot". Because who knows when the next chance will be.

SeveralAcorns · 2024-01-28T10:08:33+00:00

Are some people really that desperate and at that point, or are they over exaggerating ?

They are exaggerating and just mean regarding short term things: sex, cuddling, attention, feeling desired, etc.

Long term romantic commitment to "just anyone" is ridiculous.

treadmarks · 2024-01-28T01:10:21+00:00

I definitely would not "take anyone" and I doubt your friend really means that. I choose to be alone rather than in bad company and I've definitely had plenty of choices in bad company that I've turned down. If you choose the wrong spouse they can easily ruin your whole life.

Dating is just a shitshow right now due to several factors combining together: the pandemic, dating apps, feminism, and the general trend of social disconnection.

I think the best thing we can do as men is stay strong, adapt to the current realities, and remain open to the fact that good women are still out there and they shouldn't be punished for the sins of the idiots. Time is on our side.

GreenTurtle47 · 2024-01-28T09:21:47+00:00

Posts like these make me feel like I live on a different planet. I’m 26M and I have yet to encounter a drought that wasn’t self-imposed, I’m also very average looking and on the shorter side (5’9).

I can only imagine things steadily get worse the closer to 30 you get but as of right now I can still bet on going to a bar and getting looks and conversations with women 20-35 pretty easily. For reference I live in a coastal tourism town.

Perhaps LA is killing his love life.

AceOfSpadesGymBro4 · 2024-01-28T07:10:20+00:00

The more desperate you are and the more you want to get something out of women, the more you force them to reject you.

Sadsad0088 · 2024-01-28T12:21:48+00:00

I don’t know, but it’s one of the reasons why I tell women to wait for men to approach them

Spyro7x3 · 2024-01-28T06:01:40+00:00

I have like 3-4 girls right now actively trying to sleep with me one even asked my friend how she get me to fuck her(I won’t because I learned my lesson on drama that comes from sleep with girls in your social circle)

You don’t need apps you just have to have a strong personality and some renown or social capital in your circles

A lot of times girls that just left a relationship are looking for any half way decent guy to fuck them to get their self esteem back a lot of it is just being in the right place right time to increase your odds just socialize a lot more

The problem is so many dudes wear their hate for socializing with pride but still expect to get laid you gotta get over that and do things you might consider pointless or whatever

FromAuntToNiece · 2024-01-28T00:40:46+00:00

You should inform your friend that he is definitely well within his rights to bully his SO later on into accepting one-sided "ethical non-monogamy" arrangements, especially those that are short of open relationships. Unironically.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-01-28T01:00:13+00:00

Has he tried dating in Riverside or San Bernardino?

TheEgosLastStand · 2024-01-28T01:27:26+00:00

He's probably just feeling low at the moment. If he's doing half as well as you describe, he'll feel better in a few days, maybe sooner if the right girl sends him a message/response. These types of moods tend to be fleeting in my experience.

Key-Pineapple-1427 · 2024-01-28T07:54:47+00:00

I wouldn’t take anyone

Substantial_Video560 · 2024-01-28T08:30:11+00:00

No, settling with just anyone out of lonelyness is not a good idea. I nearly fell into that trap a few years ago but luckily my brain came back online. Never again!

Green-Quantity1032 · 2024-01-28T12:34:20+00:00

he wouldn't take anyone, he's just ok with non-hotties.
if (IF) he's conventionally attractive, gym and nice photos should get him by easy.
LA is tough, gtfo of there
I was in LA last month, I had some nice matches actually but I didn't try talking to them so can't tell if they're legit

BatemaninAccounting · 2024-01-28T13:11:30+00:00

Completely over exaggerating. Also he's in LA, that's a genuinely weird dating market for anyone including ultra pretty, ultra rich guys and girls looking for genuine LTRs. Sure you can have lots of casual relationships easily, but that's all you can manage.

The people that will take anyone, are already with anyone because there are enough single lonely dudes and women that are putting themselves out there to date that those people do get snatched up fast.

Purple_Kangaroo8549 · 2024-01-30T15:59:30+00:00

I won't date a fat woman, a nonwhite woman or a woman with a kid.

“I’ll take Anyone at this Point”

Comments

This is from the cdc

Title	“I’ll take Anyone at this Point”
Author	Disruptiionz
Upvotes	36
Comments	306
Date	January 28, 2024 12:38 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1acppfv/ill_take_anyone_at_this_point/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/ill-take-anyone-at-this-point.1243979 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243979