Women will rightfully bring up important issues such as abusive men and domestic violence. But they often do so in a manner that lumps all men together. “Men are pigs.” “Kill all men.” These messages often seem most directed at men who have never done such things. Often times it seems like they take their grievances about one group of men and air them out to another completely separate group of men.

When men point this out women will quickly rebut with “do not argue ‘not all men.’” “Obviously we didn’t mean literally all men. If you feel hurt by “#killallmen” you need to go to therapy and reflect on your inner misogyny.”

They’ll also argue that men should hold each other responsible, which I agree with.

But when men bring up legitimate issues they’ve faced with women, suddenly the tone is the complete opposite. If a general trend about women is stated it’s immediately hit with “Women aren’t a monolith,” which doesn’t add anything to the conversation. Or it’s dismissed and used to attack the speaker.

A man tells a story about how his ex lost attraction to him because she saw her crying. “Not all women are like that. Also we’re not your therapists.”

A man comments on women body shaming men on height and dick size. “Another case of short man syndrome.” “Small dick energy isn’t actually making fun of small penises, man up.”

A man says he feels uncomfortable about his girlfriend going into extreme detail about hi penis and their sex life with her friends. “Stop being so controlling.”

I’m not saying these things men bring up are in any way as potent as the ones many women bring up about physical and sexual violence. But why do women refuse to acknowledge toxic traits their friends may exhibit? How come men’s feelings are always pushed aside?