Guys Usually Have Problems With Dating Because of Money, Not How They Look or Act

AntiHypergamist · 2025-01-09T04:23:29+00:00

You got matches because you're good looking not for any other reason. Money doesn't get pussy wet, that's prostitution

EetinAintCheetin · 2025-01-09T02:37:13+00:00

It’s funny. In my younger days I picked up tons of women in bars and cafes or sometimes on the street. They were just attracted to my attitude, boldness and confidence. I don’t remember any particular woman taking any interest in what I do or how much money I had. How could they figure out my salary or networth by taking one glance at me at a crowded bar?

Here is what I think the true power of money is. When a guy has money, he feels that he has achieved something that society approves of. And because society finally approves of him, he gives himself permission to act confident, to stand tall and proud and command respect. And it’s actually this attitude that attracts women, not the money itself.

How do I know? Because I cultivated that attitude and I became attractive to women whether I was dressed in expensive clothes and spending money or if I was in my workout clothes, sweaty and smelly. And women would hit on me and not even once ask me what I do for work. Funny how that works.

ShangMade · 2025-01-09T02:11:12+00:00

Isn't using money to hook up with women just like getting escorts but with extra steps? Would you really be able to trust them in a relationship or marriage?

Aphor1st · 2025-01-09T01:16:03+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/nt90yIa

Photo of me and my boyfriend. I make about 160k, he takes home from his business about 80k. I’m with him because he is an incredible human and matches my high travel life style.

Do you really want to be with a woman who is only in to you for the money? Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who is hot for you for you?

ArcadianHarpist · 2025-01-09T02:05:55+00:00

Dating apps are just a meat market. You said it yourself—your tech bros found wives through their social circles. That’s the lynchpin, not their salaries. You seem to be jumping to the conclusion that they only married them because of their money…the only evidence you provided was that the women are attractive and the tech bros make good money. Anyway, if what you said was accurate, blue collar men wouldn’t be able to marry at all.

I married a teacher. We live in an apartment with our two kids. I drive a 20 year old Toyota. Money isn’t really a concern though, except when we get a huge medical bill, etc. that sets us back. We have a good life together. Most women are not as mercenary as you seem to think.

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Objective_Ad_6265 · 2025-01-09T07:43:11+00:00

Ew. I can make my own money. Money doesn't buy attraction. Maybe if you are ok with a golddiger that doesn't love you.

woodclip · 2025-01-09T03:34:07+00:00

Guys Usually Have Problems With Dating Because of Money, Not How They Look or Act

If a woman has to choose between 2 equally rich dudes, she'll pick the better looking one.

In other words, looks > everything else.

luroot · 2025-01-09T05:25:08+00:00

Some or most of those are fake and even used the same openers.

Goonerlouie · 2025-01-09T10:43:28+00:00

Not hating because I have no reason to but with all due respect you are average looking relative to the girls you’re matching. Sorry if that comes across as a backhanded compliment. Granted your first pic makes you look ok. Again, not hating on you, just disappointed in those women lol

HereToShowOff123 · 2025-01-10T22:29:55+00:00

We all know some broke guy that’s charming and has looks and still gets women.

This is genuine attraction.

However, most women will easily go down from their looksmatch to have a guy that makes 100k+.

This is not.

attendquoi · 2025-01-09T03:06:51+00:00

The only way in which I care about money is that I expect him to pay his half of shared expenses. Other than that, the rest of his money is his own to do with as he pleases. I don't even know how much my husband makes lol

TheLonerCoder · 2025-01-09T05:19:12+00:00

It's easier to improve your looks than it is to get a high salary job and accumulate wealth. Especially if you're an average looking guy..

SayuriKitsune · 2025-01-09T10:57:52+00:00

I think is more about how they act, then money, then looks. Anecdotical I know but There's a bachelor where I used to live. His family owns 70% of the whole village, lots of money, he is tall, blonde, blue eyes, great shape. But he is a misogynistic douche and an Andrew Tate wannabe. No one wants him. When he was younger he had more success but now in his 40s everyone knows his crap personality. Also quite high body count so women dont trust him for LTR, So he just hangs out with prostitutes. And he isnt the only one I know, thanks to my job I had met a few celebrities, and they are on that same spot.

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-01-09T11:29:44+00:00

Going for your looksmatch because you don't have lots of money is not "having dating problems".

RapaxIII · 2025-01-09T15:58:53+00:00

Unrelated, it might be a generational thing but I can't understand why some of you are so comfortable posting pictures of yourself and loved ones on here lmao I don't see it going well

BlackPhillip444 · 2025-01-09T18:13:05+00:00

I'm now convinced nearly everybody in this subreddit has undiagnosed NPD. Normal people really don't care about any of this stuff, especially in today's economy where everybody is struggling.

AidsVictim · 2025-01-09T02:43:39+00:00

100k isn't anything to women in 2025. Your pics are very good at showing what (many) women actually want which is the "Instagram" ready travel and nice things lifestyle; it's not money per se but showing off the "correct" lifestyle enabled by having money.

I make 140 in a middling to lower cost of living area and am generally considered above average attractive. I pretty much always "date down" in looks because that's what I get on OLD. Your photos are far better than anything I have on terms of showing what matters - an aspirant UMC lifestyle.

operajunkie · 2025-01-09T05:26:23+00:00

This is cope. Most men in their 20’s have no money and still manage to date.

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wtknight · 2025-01-09T00:54:37+00:00

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BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-01-09T02:18:06+00:00

The problem with the OP is the word 'usually'. I don't know about that. But is money a factor, sure. Women are evolutionarily attracted to male provider traits. However, we are in a time of evolutionary mismatch, so which modern metrics a women's instincts latch on to can vary. Could be his competence. His money in the bank. His degree. Etc.

But some women care more and some less. Some pretty women are indeed very consciously mercenary about what they can get as a trade for their beauty. OFC the men they target are just as superficial and willing to make that trade. However, the problem with all these assertions is perspective: it can be hard to really articulate how widespread or deep the need for money penetrates the female population of a given country of polity. There is a lot of variance. As women make more, there is pressure to 'settle' for men who aren't much if at all richer. How this works out is anyone's guess.

Silver_Past2313 · 2025-01-09T06:44:19+00:00

The reason you are seeing women posting pictures of themselves with the men they love who don't make much money is because in general, women don't care about it. It's quite low on the list of priorities, at least in wealthy countries like America.

newishDomnewersub · 2025-01-09T11:04:16+00:00

Dating sites make it all about commodification. Money/resources is just one factor. Some women weigh it a lot more heavily than others. Men always go for looks. But that's just one factor and it's not enough.

Desperate_Coat_5244 · 2025-01-09T13:01:31+00:00

Your culture seems so shallow. Just looks and money. Happy to live in a country where humans are looking for love, real connections, shared values and happiness. I’ve never even been asked how much I make, lol.

growframe · 2025-01-09T13:53:57+00:00

You can pay some women to fake-like you, sure. But men who want but can't get a long term relationship obviously aren't looking for the proto-prostitution that this is. They want women to actually like them, and that's 99% a combination of looks and character.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-01-09T15:43:19+00:00

Money will attract motivated mercenaries; quelle surprise

RelevantJackWhite · 2025-01-09T15:54:29+00:00

When I started dating my wife she made more than I did. I make more now but we both make good money these days.

It's almost like it's not useful to paint with these broad strokes about every gender issue

Sholnufff · 2025-01-09T17:05:34+00:00

All money is in the sexual marketplace is an amplifier.

If you were goofy before the money, you'll be even more goofy with it afterwards.

The providers will definitely get women and as long as they do their role, most women will stay with him.

From the red pill perspective, the issue is that most providers don't excite their woman from a biological standpoint so they get the base level sex vs Chad St Stud who makes her wetter than a Blastoise hydro cannon.

RadiantRadicalist · 2025-01-09T17:10:52+00:00

>I have a number of friends in the tech industry that make $200k+, they don’t care about getting lots of girls and don’t. However, they all ended up with gorgeous wives. They didn’t date a lot, they just found a woman after some years through social circles.

I don't know how said Wives look nor how they look nor where you live which affects how much money/social class your respectively in so unless you leak your friends personal information I can't make a accurate/well-informed counter-argument on this.

>I have had a number of friends that are attractive women, they date guys with money. The guys can’t be ugly or overweight, but if you look presentable and have a good career they’re interested. You may catch them with a hot guy, but they will say explicitly, “I don’t seriously date broke men I don’t care how hot they are.” This is the norm for an attractive woman who is 23+. Looks is not enough for them.

That's a whole lot of words just to say "All my friends are Gold-digger's due to the Economic class i'm in."

>I got on Hinge for a few days last week to land some dates. I’d been off for 2 years in a relationship. Below is some of the matches and conversations. I posted my profile too. If I don’t flex lifestyle of a guy making 200k/yr I still get matches and dates, but it’s harder and the women aren’t as attractive. I’ve been on tons of online dates over the years, and the majority I’ve hooked up. The reason is, I have a nice house and car, travel twice a year, and put it up on my Instagram. I could still get women without flexing lifestyle, but showing I have a life makes it all 5x easier with better looking women, I’ve also never been asked for money or gifts from any date or girlfriend I’ve ever had

Hinge is a terrible example as it's already known that online dating is disgustingly bloated and cash-grabby which promotes a "I don't date broke" mentality therefore you should instead Go to social events and see how much dates/STR you can get into.

Come back to me once you finish that.

(Question(s).)

If you don't mind me asking can i know how long your average relationship lasts?

how do said relationships end?

how much women have you gotten with over the years?.

are your friends respective wives truly loyal to them?.

(Opinion.)

After re-reading your paragraphs i've come to a conclusion that i think plenty of others already have and that's the fact how your friends may be gold-diggers as based upon how you describe them and what they do such as the small bit stating how they don't seriously date "broke men" and how all of your friends who make 200k-200k< Married "Gorgeous" wives.

If you could give me more examples of how said wives act/behave it would either confirm my judgement or disapprove it as it generally seems like that in-order to attract said women you (and your friends.) need Money.

aleknovy · 2025-01-09T17:21:39+00:00

I disagree. Beyond not looking like a bum (not wearing cheap clothes), simply acting like you're money is enough. You don't need the actual money.

Except for gold diggers of course.

Vlad_The_Great_2 · 2025-01-09T17:43:33+00:00

I know some guys with really high paying jobs. That never helped them get women because they are not the most physically attractive and or are socially awkward. I’ve seen women bend over backwards to get with a guy because they find him attractive. Having a lot of money obviously helps, compared to being broke and unattractive.

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2025-01-09T18:00:40+00:00

And I’ve pulled and slept with women who look like this with $30 dates because I had witty banter, looked good, and my profile was well kept. My n count is over 100. Still date women who are the tier of your photos.

Never once did I have to flaunt I was making 100k+ a year in dating apps. They were happy with a I’ll bring a bottle of wine and you bring random finger foods so we can chat outside, or going to a dive bar for happy hour where beers and drinks were under $8 each.

Odd flex here but your profile isn’t wrong. Show off some wealth, be well kept, and show you actually leave the house. It’s just not necessary.

SadSorrySackOShip · 2025-01-09T18:20:09+00:00

Unionize, demand better wages for your work.

Hoopy223 · 2025-01-09T21:27:15+00:00

Those profiles scream Socal/Los Angeles to me

OP looks like some millionaire influencer in his profile pic (unless he’s catfishing???)

Money is certainly a factor

Our economy is broken and a lot of men can barely provide for themselves let along a partner, children, a home, vacations

Its also a huge factor in breakups and divorce

A man can do almost anything in a relationship except go broke lol

LosingAtForex · 2025-01-09T22:53:59+00:00

Am I missing something? I don't see your profile anywhere. It's possible you are simply underestimating your good looks/profile quality

ricesale · 2025-01-10T04:16:12+00:00

Prostitution.

PuddingNeither94 · 2025-01-12T14:33:24+00:00

You talk about women like they’re commodities….. and you’re still SINGLE?????????? lol.

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DankuTwo · 2025-01-09T04:39:17+00:00

This is extremely America-specific (although it might also apply to China).

The rest of the world isn’t like this.

Disastrous-Chart-928 · 2025-01-09T13:01:15+00:00

Yea I've said several times that the men are struggling due to economical factors, hence why me and a few other women on PPD try to tell women to gauge men by other respective qualities and not their income, because income does not reflect a good partner in any capacity, there's plenty of evidence to suggest high earning men actually make worse and even more dangerous partners.

In the west it's not uncommon now for young women to out earn their male counterparts, for less work may I add. Even in Eastern Europe My boyfriend earns less than the women in his jobs HR despite which is just... disgusting? like they genuinely do not deserve to earn more than men in trades. With the expansion of more feminine jobs and traditionally masculine jobs on the decline more men are dropping out of education to pursue tried and tested trades which don't pay as well as they used to, not to mention it can take the better part of a decade to catch up with their female counter parts wage wise.

Anyways feminism hasn't worked to dissolve a lot of outdated standards, women generally still refuse to date men that earn less than them, so you add that with a housing and cost of living crisis and the pool of men that young women are willing to date has become comically small. This is reflected in the amount of men stuck at home compared to women too, this also explains the supposed loneliness gap. Women are simply dating older men with the resources they demand.

TLDR: Men can't afford to accumulate perquisites required for dating, men are still expected to be providers, fulfilling their traditional gender roles when women see fit while women get to seek out providers even though we don't need them anymore.

Spirited_Cod260 · 2025-01-09T01:51:24+00:00

Bus drivers make 100K. 200K isn't anything special either.

OpticalEpilepsy · 2025-01-09T02:16:09+00:00

Nope it's because they are more interested in negating their fault in failing to attract women by pretending average and below average looking men never have girlfriends or casual sex than they are fixing their problem

tacticaltossaway · 2025-01-09T01:31:47+00:00

You go, Camel Man.

G4M35 · 2025-01-09T02:09:31+00:00

Conventional dating has become expensive AF for a guy, and that's why I believe that suagring is the future of dating, with suagring everyone wins.

Title	Guys Usually Have Problems With Dating Because of Money, Not How They Look or Act
Author	rustlerhuskyjeans
Upvotes	0
Comments	417
Date	January 8, 2025 3:53 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hwnb9u/guys_usually_have_problems_with_dating_because_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/guys-usually-have-problems-with-dating-because-of.1540697 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540697

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