Serious question: what are the downsides of marriage?

growframe · 2025-05-20T20:12:51+00:00

Why can't I say divorce though? That's the primary difference of marriage. If the relationship isn't working while unmarried, the worst case scenario is someone has to find a new living arrangement. Otherwise you just split, whether amicably or not, and go your separate ways. With marriage you have to run that by the government. That's a pretty clear disadcantage to me.

Marriage automatically grants hundreds of legal protections when it comes to property, inheritance, taxes and family law

I do not care about any of these.

There are some studies suggesting married couples with children are the happiest social group , and that married men live longer.

Good for them. It doesn't make me want to get married.

I don't know, marrying someone you love, pooling resources and building a life together seems like a pretty good deal to me

It's a pretty good deal and I have no idea why adding the government to your relationship is a requirement for any of those.

LoopyPro · 2025-05-20T20:23:14+00:00

I believe that the ability to walk away is what ultimately encourages both parties to give it 100%. Marriage removes that carrot and stick, or at least raises the threshold significantly in its current-day form for at least one of the two people involved.

If two people want to be together, there is nothing stopping them from doing so. A government contract isn't going to magically make things work.

EulenWatcher · 2025-05-20T19:23:33+00:00

I do not think that marriage is all negative, and I'm married myself, but excluding the risk of divorce from this conversation is the same as excluding the risk of a car crash from discussion of driving.

Marriage is risky. Human relationships are risky - we have to believe and put our trust in other human beings, and people can become fickle and unreliable even after years of stable relationships. Overall, marriage is just a legal confirmation of your intentions, a legally binding contract in a way. It is negative when you married a wrong person or you're a wrong person yourself. The major risk is the right person turning into a wrong one though.

attendquoi · 2025-05-20T19:39:13+00:00

Totally specific to me, but I can never change my last name to my husband's because I have stuff published in my maiden name.

Original-Opening7306 · 2025-05-20T20:11:06+00:00

1st marriage seven years no kids. I married too young grew out of him really fell out of love with him. Took nothing from that marriage except myself . 2nd marriage 28 years one child now an adult. Happiest years of my life. A great love still in bloom now kids flown the nest. Very happy life great companion constant lover. Can't imagine life without each other.

Vikklee · 2025-05-20T19:32:30+00:00

I think the only downside is the fact that you have to share everything now.

When you’re the only pilot, everything is the way YOU want it. Your house? decorated the way you want. Your time? Spent the way you want. Your money? Goes all to wherever you want it to go.

When you get married, you get a copilot. Every decision and space becomes shared. Your house? You have to compromise on decorations and location. Your time? You now have an obligation to spend it with someone else a lot of the time. Your money? You add more income (in some situations) but now youre more obligated to save for the future and put the money towards important things.

Single life is convenient. You do everything only how you want it.

As soon as you get married, you now have to compromise on everything and every decision is now a group effort.

Marriage is great though. You now have a copilot who can share the burden of all the other aspects of life! Housework? Share it! Money? You can both work and share the same space! Hobbies? You now have a built in buddy to info dump on, or even enjoy the hobby with! Family? Expands! Decisions? Somebody to talk them all out with. Time? You’ll never be lonely!

The biggest decision is whether or not youre willing to trade your personal and selfish freedom for the person you want to be with.

Stock-Argument-1040 · 2025-05-20T23:10:56+00:00

You have a partner who you now need to run many of your most important life decisions by. That means that you will often need to compromise or stall on things you want. There is still a level of personal autonomy but if you want a happy marriage you will include your partner in your decisions.

philosohistomystry04 · 2025-05-20T20:07:34+00:00

I'm not married and would like to be some day, so this doesn't cancel out the benefits, but a pretty huge downside in my mind is having to discuss pretty much everything with eachother. If you lived with your parents into your 20s and went from having to let them know where you were going, who you were with and had to ask for permission to make larger purchases and then you moved in with a partner and got a place together, and from that point out you have to tell eachother all that stuff and get eachother's permission for potientially even more stuff than you had to get permission from your parents for after 18, then when did either party really get to experience full agency?

cutegolpnik · 2025-05-20T21:59:27+00:00

Being legally and financially tied to someone.

What if he messes up my finances?

What if he turns psycho and I have to figure out how to divorce/evict him? What if he’s hell bent on blowing up my life?

What if he embarrasses me in front of family/friends/colleagues?

What if living with him is simply unpleasant? What if he’s dirty? What if he steamrolls me in every conflict?

What if he gets me pregnant?

What if he quits his job and stops contributing?

No_Steak_4881 · 2025-05-21T02:18:44+00:00

Culture dependent:

More than 50% of men face domestic violence , [Married Men have highest sucide rates, nearly twice that of unmarried men or seprated/widowed men and 3 times that of married and unmarried women.](http:// https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lansea/article/PIIS2772-3682(23)00125-7/fulltext) , Men do not any protection from domestic violence, Men are have to deal with Legal Terroism ( Fake dv cases )

If going to a place increases your chances of death would you still go there? Increasing the chances by twice.

AngeAware · 2025-05-20T19:42:21+00:00

To me death is the biggest one. Being a widow/er who genuinely loved their partner seems like one of the crappiest life experiences and greatest tests on endurance and fortitude a human can possibly face. Even moreso if you have young kids.

mobjack · 2025-05-20T21:36:39+00:00

Divorce can be a good thing.

Being stuck to a partner that makes you miserable is a big downside of marriage.

Kanenas_T_Potas · 2025-05-20T23:43:11+00:00

The downside of marriage is that it is a high risk contract. By pooling your resources with another person, living together and sharing all the advantages of marriage, you are also held responsible for the potential liabilities that come with it until you either divorce or die.

As divorce in itself is not seen as a downside let's take a couple that decides to remain together. Even if the relationship is good, you don't know what kind of tragedies can befall your spouse. You don't know if he/she will suffer a chronic illness and drain your resources, you don't know if the person will suddenly not be able to work or provide for themselves, you don't know if your children will need a lot of medical care, a lot of attention or another sort of investment, and you won't know if your spouse will manage the house's finances as well as you would.

All of these things are variables that could change over time, which makes for a pretty risky decision. So the downside of marriage is basically that it is a very high stakes, long term contract, that is costly and emotionally taxing to get out of.

RandomRedditRebel · 2025-05-21T01:03:39+00:00

As a man with a wonderful woman and a son together, who isn't married, I don't see how getting the government involved in our relationship benefits any of us in any way.

kongeriket · 2025-05-21T02:53:24+00:00

Ability to walk away.

She chooses me every day and I choose her every day. That ability is eroded/frustrated with/by marriage.

I've been with my missus for 15+ years. We got legally married 10+ years into the relationship because it was getting excessively annoying each time one of us wanted to take the eldest abroad for a trip. It also helped that I found a country whose legislation is not inherently misandric in practice. If we had lived in an Anglo country, not inconvenience would've changed my mind.

Marriage automatically grants hundreds of legal protections when it comes to property, inheritance, taxes and family law.

It's those "protections" that worry me, in fact.

A marriage license is a couple of hundreds of dollars, trying to replicate all of those rights through a lawyer without getting married can add up to thousands of dollars on legal fees.

The world is not one giant USA. And even in the US there's a lot of variation to this thing.

Here in Europe if you're after the legal "rights", those are easy to achieve via several notarized documents. They cost me about $50 in total.

There are some studies suggesting married couples with children are the happiest social group ,

Yes, but I'm an individual, not a statistic. There's also studies showing just how good for one's mental health jumping with a parachute can be - but that doesn't mean it's a good idea for everyone.

Also, most studies show married women are happier, but not necessarily men.

and that married men live longer.

Lions in captivity live longer too. It's simply not an argument.

I don't know, marrying someone you love, pooling resources and building a life together seems like a pretty good deal to me,

I outearn my wife by a factor of 12. It's a great deal for her, granted. But it would never be a good deal for me if I were in an Anglo country where disdainful shit like alimony are a thing.

Bouldershoulders12 · 2025-05-20T19:40:03+00:00

As a man I’m kind of split 50/50 on the discussion of marriage

There’s part of me that wholly stands for a strong nuclear family and marriage promotes the best outcomes for raising children but my issue is that in today’s day and age men have the responsibility in marriage with no authority .

Because of no fault divorce it gives too much leverage to women. There’s no accountability. Dead bedroom (women don’t owe you sex which is true but sex is a big part of marriage and relationships), infidelity (which usually doesn’t come with accountability but rather where you fall short and then that’ll just end up breaking a family dynamic because as a man I gotta leave for that) , crippling debt that could be hidden from you (your partner’s debt becomes your debt) . There’s so much power you’re handing over where you have no control of it. The only control you have is damage control after the fact but by then there’s so much life altering consequences after the fact .

The right marriage >> being single >>>> wrong marriage

Marriage is the ultimate business decision. Marriage is about duty but people take it too lightly today. More people are concerned about the wedding and not the actual marriage

Siukslinis_acc · 2025-05-21T03:04:10+00:00

The paperwork. If you are the one who is changing your last name - you have to update it everywhere and get new documents.

ChadChasingBReturns · 2025-05-20T19:27:45+00:00

There are no downsides to a great marriage with a compatible partner. I see the relationships that my parents, godparents, and grandparents all have and they’re wonderful. That’s not because of marriage, just as marriage isn’t bad because you have a disagreeable partner with different values and goals. It all comes down to the partners.

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2025-05-20T19:50:20+00:00

The only downside is that you can’t have sex with everyone you’re attracted to.

I mean, that’s assuming you aren’t in an abusive relationship. It’s harder to get away if you’re married

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-05-20T20:08:23+00:00

Fidelity, caring, sharing, consideration, compromise

bv0724 · 2025-05-20T20:25:41+00:00

There are more factors you need to consider and there will be more restrictions due to them. If you have a career opportunity elsewhere, your family will also have to be considered before you make a decision.

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John_Oakman · 2025-05-20T20:37:37+00:00

Depends on how committed the marriage is, but in all of them the fundamental issue (which divorce is the byproduct of) is the changes of human nature (both in you & them) and the consequences of that.

Marriage is a commitment (even in the most watered down form), and that sucks for people who aren't suited to commit to things.

smartestredditor_eva · 2025-05-20T20:57:44+00:00

Having to always take someone else into consideration. For instance, I would love to hop in the truck and take off after my work is done this week and go to Florida. I can't do that because my wife wants to go. I would enjoy her company, but she won't go for some reason, and that's my fault somehow.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2025-05-20T21:40:57+00:00

well, if you exclude the greatest risk - both in terms of probability and in terms of the impact it can have on somebody - marriage is great. that's basically what these kind of stats on marriage do. they don't look at divorced people (unless they're remarried) and then tradcons turn around and go 'see! marriage is great!'.

if somebody doesn't want to get married because of the potential of a future divorce, that's a good enough reason in itself. there don't have to be more reasons when divorce rates are higher than 40% really.

slazengerx · 2025-05-20T22:19:57+00:00

I have zero interest in (1) cohabitating with someone, (2) sharing finances with someone, (3) having kids, or (4) being monogamous for more than X years at a time.

So, given my preferences... sell me on marriage. What are the upsides?

wicwa · 2025-05-20T23:50:34+00:00

The downsides depend on your point of view.

A woman's ideal mating strategy is to secure investment from a man, while retaining the option to trade up for a more attractive man. A woman wants the top man she can get.

A man's ideal strategy is to have as many wives/exclusive sex partners as he can afford. A man wants variety.

Both of these strategies are extremely detrimental to the other sex. A woman trading up for a better man is the equivalent of death in the Darwinian sense from the man's point of view. A man abandoning a woman for other women usually meant death for her too, because most evolutionary environments required strong paternal investment.

Marriage solves these problems by binding the man and woman together. She can't trade up, and he can't abandon her+children.

garden_speech · 2025-05-21T01:09:20+00:00

I keep seeing in online communities how men are discouraged to get married and the top reason is divorce, but people don't really provide any other good arguments against it.

That's because the substantive difference between being married and just being "in a relationship" is the financial ties that make separation a legally-complex process. There really isn't much other difference... You might change your last name and you can make medical decisions for your spouse but that's about it. Marriage is the legal construct of having your assets tied together and naturally this means separation can be extremely expensive.

Now, while I understand divorce can screw you over, you don't need to get married for that to happen. If you share property, have kids or have supported each other financially you're on the hook to split assets and pay alimony and child support too.

Hold on. You listed three things here. If you bought property together, then yeah splitting up might get financially messy. If you have kids, same. But the "or have supported each other financially" -- not sure what you're talking about there. Unless there's a contract, I don't know what you're talking about. For example: my girlfriend was unemployed last year and I paid all our bills. So I supported her financially. If we split up, not only would I have no desire to try to get her to pay that back, but I also don't think I'd have any legal leg to stand on even if I wanted to.

Delicious_Algae_8283 · 2025-05-21T01:44:39+00:00

You can pool resources and build a life together without marriage. And I don't know anyone that fears marriage itself, it really is the divorce issue. Clearly it's not true that a third of men are abusive assholes, so a whole lot of women are leaving because marriage is hard, not because of abuse or similar. Skydiving is fun until you pull the drawstring and nothing happens. Being sold on going skydiving is all nice and well until you find out that a third of the time, nothing happens. And it's not the fall that hurts, it's hitting the ground. Until people who can't handle lifetime commitment stop trying to get married, we're going to be pretty cautious, because the consequences are dire for getting it wrong.

S0yslut · 2025-05-21T02:27:14+00:00

Being married in an Islamic country would be a pretty big downside.

Other than that I don’t think there is any except that one of us will eventually die while the other remains alive and that is something I dread and think about a lot because my husband is 6 years older than me.

macdaddy0800 · 2025-05-21T03:25:38+00:00

Both genders are good at slowly separating a person from their support network and then gradually increase the gas lighting to make a person solely dependent on them.

What tends to happen is there is a mismatch one person can completely be subservient to the other.

Once this happens it is too late, the support network is gone and no appropriate criticism is leveled at the manipulator.

At times the manipulator is extracting so much emotional and value out of their victims it's perfectly legal.

Akitten · 2025-05-21T05:59:04+00:00

Marriage automatically grants hundreds of legal protections when it comes to property, inheritance, taxes and family law. A marriage license is a couple of hundreds of dollars, trying to replicate all of those rights through a lawyer without getting married can add up to thousands of dollars on legal fees.

A wedding and a ring, tends to be significantly more expensive than that lawyer. Yes, you can go without, but if we are speaking seriously, 90% of women expect it. So cost is out of the equation.

There are some studies suggesting married couples with children are the happiest social group , and that married men live longer.

Somewhat self selective in that women choose physically healthier men in general to marry.

I don't know, marrying someone you love, pooling resources and building a life together seems like a pretty good deal to me, the biggest hurdle here seems to be finding the right person to marry.

You can do all of that, in a much more effective and modern fashion, without subscribing to everything marriage is.

As someone who doesn't want kids, marriage has a billion risks and very few rewards for me. Pretty much every benefit would be for my potential partner.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2025-05-21T06:06:23+00:00

For me the biggest downside is that one party can become who they really are, or change once you're "locked in". I know it happened to me.

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-05-21T10:12:56+00:00

Reduced sexual frequency or satisfaction over time: Longitudinal studies suggest married couples often report a sharper decline in sexual frequency and satisfaction than unmarried long-term couples ([Klusmann, 2006]()).

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-05-21T13:43:04+00:00

In USA at least, divorce is at risk of being removed. So, if you marry now, in ten years you may not be able to divorce.

False-Purple3882 · 2025-05-21T13:44:29+00:00

There’s not really anything positive about marriage for women beyond maybe tax benefits.

Tuatara77 · 2025-05-21T14:15:23+00:00

Marriage is setting your relationship into stone, and there's a risk that many things not established prior may show when the papers have been signed and there's no going back, well except divorce, which sucks big time, and you said we're not talking about that, so here goes.

Now, what I mean by things suddenly appearing is the true character of your partner, maybe a disguise they played to lure you into a false premise, or a sudden change they didn't even anticipate:

-economy, now when your economy is shared between both of you, how awful would it be if they had huge problems with spending and saving money, debt will ruin both now, not just your partner.

-drugs, be it as simple as an alcoholic partner becoming aggressive every so often, or more dangerous stuff from which you now become linked to someone you fear in your own home.

-what if the sexual drive of your partner all of a sudden vanish after your wedding night? Well, good luck.

-what if you were both fit prior but now your partner decides that settling with certain lawful backing turns them into a slob, lazy, or just generally don't take care of their body no more. Cause of course now it's two souls loving each other, staying healthy isn't necessarily... right?

-oh so what happens now when your partner cheats on you?

Being unmarried means security for both partners as if someone paints a fake picture of the relationship they won't be able to trap you into a binding agreement that you're now stuck with them, and so, only honesty and true love for one another keeps you going.

SolidusMonkey · 2025-05-21T16:00:51+00:00

"Serious question: what are the downsides of gambling? And don't say losing, that's a different thing."

Absolutely incredible.

SandBrilliant2675 · 2025-05-21T16:05:50+00:00

Because you asking for a genuine answer:

(1) Debt consolidation leading to ruined credit (particularly in the event that your partner incurs serious debt in the relationship).

(2) the classic in-laws hating the spouse troupe (which is real and awful and can ruin a relationship).

(3) thinking love is enough to conquer all (the false belief that marriage doesn’t take continuous growth and work) ie complacency

(4) child marriages (which are legal in about 48 states).

(5) domestic violence and abuse in marriage not being classified outright crimes and tried in criminal court, due to the special relationship between spouses and family. (Allows abusive people to get away with more and punished less).

Idk if you love the person and the marriage is built on respect, trust, communication and honesty, you’re probably going to be ok.

CanaryHeart · 2025-05-21T18:07:56+00:00

I love being married and my marriage is mostly a happy one, but there are definitely things that people should consider before getting married, and I don’t think that marriage should just be the social default—many people would be happier single or in long term relationships that aren’t legally entangled.

IMO the biggest potential downside is that all of your major decisions are now joint decisions. Did you get accepted to your dream school six states over? Congratulations, you get to go—if you can convince your spouse. Want to quit your job to pursue your dream? Convince your spouse. Ready to take your dream vacation? I sure hope your spouse wants to go there or is flexible about travel, because otherwise you’re not going. If you have good communication skills and are flexible/open to compromise and marry someone who shares those traits—and/or you’re both committed to continually improving in those areas—it will do wonders for how smooth/easy your marriage is.

7186997326 · 2025-05-21T18:08:38+00:00

Healthy relationship? No downside. Just like earning more money is better than earning less money when your job isn't stressful to you. But those questions don't make for interesting discussion because the answers are obvious.

ExcelsiorState718 · 2025-05-21T20:20:35+00:00

Everything your saying is based on hopeus-pocus and completely ignoring the data and statistics.

Divorce is a huge downside some studies report divorce is worst than a death finnancial and emotionally and mentally.

Dead bed rooms are another downside going months even years without sex because you're married to an uninterested partner.

Being legally bound to someone who can change their looks or personality.

And for me personally being able to have sex with only one woman if and when she's ever in the mood is a huge down side to marriage I don't even have one car or one house like hell I'm gonna have one woman unless she's my nurse while I'm dying in hospice.

The downsides trump any possible advantage and I don't wanna hear about any of this love BS when that woman's feelings change that love goes out the window theres no love in divorce court theres no love when your paying alimony legal fees and child support,there's no love when she's fcking another man in your house while you sleep under a bridge

So fck love and fck marriage if a bish loves she won't need to involve the state,

Fun_Push7168 · 2025-05-21T21:43:57+00:00

Basically that almost everything is a compromise.

There's very little full autonomy if you respect your marriage.

Every asset, time included, decision, property, body , whatever is never just yours to do completely as you will with it.

RecognitionSoft9973 · 2025-05-22T00:07:52+00:00

For me, the legal consequences of divorce are scary enough. I would hesitate to get into a common law marriage too. At the risk of sounding like a heartless asshole, it's extremely one-sided for the partner who makes more, and a lot of women in big cities are doing quite well for themselves. I don't think it's as uncommon as people think for women to pay alimony to their spouse, and I'm sure it's going to become more common now that women are earning more. It wouldn't be an issue if you both were great communicators and truly trusted each other. Best that both spouses are successful financially.

Apart from the above, I do feel like there's an unspoken expectation that a woman will handle most domestic chores and that's quite the downside for me. Not a fan of that. It should be split in a way that makes sense to both partners. If he's the breadwinner, I will handle the household. If I'm the breadwinner, he should handle the household. I don't believe in gendered division of labour. I was expected to do male-coded chores too. I have to haul my own winter tires... it's not a big deal, just tiring. I don't mind getting up on a ladder and cleaning out the eaves. Or doing household repairs. Anyone should be capable of these things, within reason. In the same vein, I would hope that a man would be able to cook and clean properly.

cuminciderolnyt · 2025-05-22T02:34:17+00:00

major drawback- divorce and the enmotiional, finacial, psychological problems that follow it

Minor drawback-

death of passion romance and libido..

people become complacent and lazy. Men put in less effort to be romantic, womens libido dies off

lack of time and resource-

many people lose their hobbies and money that they have. married life only gains momentum later into life and many people are not lucky enough to get there. till then it can be real drain on money

the constant effort to keep it going-

most men know that breaking a marriage can be very costly so they go through years of putting up with shit. Same applies to women who put up with shitty men

the inability to start over-

marriage is that, marriage. there is no do over in most cases especially if you are in the settled stage of marriage

the major decisions and choices that you make are no longer yours- it involves spose and children

Basically put marriage offers a few perks but overall if gone wrong, its like getting your hand stuck in a machine... the best option in amputation. So why risk it?

nocommentacct · 2025-05-22T17:02:31+00:00

People change over time. Especially if you're a provider, there's just simply nothing in it for you. It's just you signing yourself away to be extra fucked if things go south. I think the biggest problem is that even without anything going wrong, people just change over time. A good 10 year relationship doesn't have to be looked at as time wasted. It can be enjoyed until it's played it's course and looked back on as a great part of life. But what's the point of locking yourself into that when you don't know what the next ten years is going to bring? Is it because you love the person so much at the time you want to just handcuff them to you??

midnight_blue77 · 2025-05-24T06:14:38+00:00

Being legally locked in to another person.

Being married literally means you cannot leave - or else. But sure, the woman can certainly leave, and you still have to face the consequences as a man. Not to mention women have an incentive to break the contract and men get screwed over no matter what way you all try to spin this.

I have seen what divorce and even just the threat of divorce does to men so I am absolutely resolute against marriage. I am almost sure my current relationship right now is not going to last too long because she has been hinting that she wants marriage and I am absolutely against it and nothing will ever convince me otherwise.

Marriage is like a gun to my head, and divorce is pulling the trigger in order for women to get a reward, and women here are just like "I will never pull the trigger because love, etc. Trust me bro!" Like seriously, hell NO! I'm just waiting for the big fight over this with my gf.

bjwindow2thesoul · 2025-05-24T11:01:50+00:00

The risk of being stuck in a marriage with kids and a partner who doesnt contribute, doesnt show up for you and stresses you out. I dont want to divorce if i have kids, but my biggest fear is being stuck in a bad marriage with kids

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2025-05-26T05:17:55+00:00

Personally for me

Let me preface this by saying I am very selfish and self-centered and I like it that way.

I don't like to share. - when u are married u have to share a house, room,bed, finances, food, you will have basic roommate disagreements for the rest of your life. But it's about room, bed, house, food etc.

I don't like being considerate - u cannot do whatever u want, u are accountable to another person for when, when, why, how long you will be, otherwise they may worry. - it's not a regular relationship, if u do and say things that hurt the other person, they don't just leave and get over it/ forget about it, they stay and if may hurt them for the rest of their life/union, u have to watch how what u say and do affect the other person. I don't like to compromise - if u have vacation time you have to spend it with them and also do stuff they want to do on the vacation, or on date nights or for dinner, - if I am only getting to do the stuff I want to do 50% of the time that is a grade F(for failure) but it is also fair.

I don't like caretaking - I don't like taking care of sick ppl or being around them. I don't like being nurturing.

I don't like to be pressured - I don't like the duty and responsibility aspects of it. - so much societal pressure of doing what a marriage "should be" instead of what I think would work for me. IE not living together, not such strict gender roles

I don't like to sacrifice - I don't like missing out on opportunities or having unfulfilled desire?.

I don't like to serve. - I have heard that marriage is basically being dedicated to serving the other person. I would hate this so much

I am very introverted. I am very particular in the way I like things. So even if the other person also tries to satisfy my desire. I know I am too particular for them to get it exactly to my taste. I have to be over the stove and taste that it is exactly the way I want it. Otherwise it may be enjoyable but it won't be exactly fulfilling/satisfying.

I don't like half of the vows for marriage why do I have to commit to be with someone in sickness, poverty, and hardships of life?

I don't like that u are committing to be with one person forever either.(Even if u don't actually follow through, I don't even like the thought of saying it) .

That being said I think I am not suited for marriage bc as a wife I would always find a way for my own happiness and have a very unhappy husband. Or be committed to his happiness and be very unhappy myself.

Some things I do think is beneficial about marriage though It is nice to pool resources and skill sets, you have a built it buddy system, it can be convenient, you have someone that you can expect to rely on.

I do love love and romance. But I think that love burns bright and burns out quickly, which is totally fine for me. ( I don't like how u have to try to stretch love into something forever). Falling in love is nice and being in love is nice but after u are not in love with a person you set them free and you also fly away. There is fun and pleasure to love but after a while it's just work, u have to carefully tend to love (sounds like unpleasant work -! although I have heard that being working in love is like working on a masterpiece painting not like working a day job)

Great question fun mental exercises.

TransportationLow564 · 2025-05-20T21:43:49+00:00

Opposite of divorce: choosing to stay in a lifelong relationship with someone you don't love / who doesn't love you.

G4M35 · 2025-05-21T02:24:22+00:00

There are, and there are not.

There are no objective pros/cons; and there are a lot of subjective pros/cons.

Sauce: I am now happily married to a great young and beautiful woman. But I am also divorced, I married the woman who I believed was the love of my life, and ended up being the nightmare of my life.

Ill-Cook-6879 · 2025-05-20T19:28:25+00:00

Everyone expects a huge party and if you don't give it to them you will never hear the end of it.

Serious question: what are the downsides of marriage?

And please, PLEASE don't go and say divorce. I'm asking about being married specifically, not ceasing to be married.

Comments

Title	Serious question: what are the downsides of marriage?
Author	backstabber81
Upvotes	7
Comments	155
Date	May 20, 2025 6:45 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1krcqk0/serious_question_what_are_the_downsides_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/serious-question-what-are-the-downsides-of.1552696 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552696