Why should women treat you like a Chad ?

CommissionAny5421 · 2025-09-12T19:09:17+00:00

Uh, because my first name is Chad.

DashboardPilled · 2025-09-12T19:28:33+00:00

People are entitled to their standards. There are women out there who demand the whole 666 package, but are nothing close to that. You might consider it delusional, but it's their freedom of choice.

The same applies to men. If a man decides that he will invest in a relationship only if he notices behaviors that signal genuine desire, it's his right to do so. Are all men entitled to Chad treatment? No. Are men allowed to have a standard and not want to become the beta-boring-backup guy? Yes.

What is your argument? "You are average, so I am going to treat you like an asexual emotional tampon"? Are you upset that more and more potential betabuxxers are not interested in being humiliated and settled down for? Why are you even asking this question?

thedarkracer · 2025-09-13T05:40:17+00:00

Don't women say they wanna be treated like a queen? Call out both sides.

ReasonConfident4541 · 2025-09-13T03:07:28+00:00

Imagine you had a friend at work who got promoted over you even though you work 100x harder how would you feel?

jazzmaster1992 · 2025-09-12T19:15:14+00:00

I just want to be desired. And if I feel like I'm not as wanted by women as some other guy, I'd rather improve until I am, or just accept being less desired and stay single. The last thing I want is to be seen as some mid dude you settled for because you were lonely and desperate, but aren't all that attracted to.

RealityCold4693 · 2025-09-13T12:45:50+00:00

Yall hate men wanting something out of relationship other than yall presence is so much is it crazy

wtknight · 2025-09-12T18:41:22+00:00

I think that the idea is that average men are upset when average women are pursuing attractive men out of their leagues and are not interested in them.

Men try to do the same thing, of course. But I think that the big difference is that average men can’t have sex with women out of their league (unless they pay for it, of course, which is something that women don’t like, just as average men don’t like average women having sex out of their league).

Basically, average Brad is not expecting hot Stacey to treat him like a Chad. But he is expecting average Becky to do this (since they are both average). When she doesn’t, this is what bothers men.

M3taBuster · 2025-09-12T20:14:13+00:00

I think everyone should treat their partner like a "chad/stacy". If you don't, then you clearly don't like them enough, and you should just dump them so they can find someone else who does.

But leagues are real. If a 5/10 guy is dating a 5/10 girl, they're objectively not a chad or stacy. But they're each the best the other can get. So they should either treat eachother like a chad/stacy, or stay single until they looksmaxx enough to bag someone they're willing to treat like a chad/stacy.

So yes, I expect my looksmatched partner to treat me like a chad, even though I'm not one. And I'd treat her like a stacy, even though she's not one. That's just how it should be. And that's kinda how it always has been and what was always expected, minus the new incel/BP lingo.

Popeoath · 2025-09-13T02:32:22+00:00

I'm fine with a woman I'm dating not treating me like a Chad if she never treated any other guys like Chads either.

But no self-respecting man would knowingly date a woman who files him in a lesser category than she does other guys.

Bouldershoulders12 · 2025-09-12T18:55:42+00:00

I don’t think men deserve to be treated like chad. They just don’t want to be looked at with contempt and dissatisfaction . Like the woman who they got feels unfulfilled when she’s average herself .

Because for some men the juice isn’t worth the squeeze . Basically have to monkey dance just for a woman to act like she “settled” when in reality that’s more likely than not her SMV match.

I think some guys get jaded off the fact that a woman that is in their league looks at them at contempt when she’s reached alpha widow status in her late 20s/early 30s and couldn’t secure commitment from a guy out of her league that basically got better treatment .

Men are waking up now with how marriage laws are constructed mixed in with them realizing what a deregulated sexual market means for them when they’re ready to find a wife and ask themselves what’s the point if someone got it for way less.

happyfunball5 · 2025-09-12T18:59:38+00:00

For men who won't get a date much less sex or a relationship without some effort to refuse to make that effort because Chad exists (the concept and actual men who define are it's embodiment) is just being self defeating. We all walk our own path to fulfillment and we don't get to walk another's path. A little woo woo but true.

Once in a relationship, I want to be treated like I matter to her. A lot. In bed and out. That's how I treat a woman I'm interested in and I expect comparable treatment and effort.

addings0 · 2025-09-13T14:04:20+00:00

Chad this, chad that. It seems to me like you all want women to be falling all over you while being a completely average man. What's up with that?

Look at it in the reverse. When women say they want equality, what kind of men are they talking about? It's not what the average man gets ( because women already have it ) . Women want what Chad gets. Men don't want women to treat them like Chad. Men want women to stop putting in extra effort only for Chad ( regardless if they notice it or not ) . Womens whims tend to have double standards.

nightcall379 · 2025-09-12T18:50:38+00:00

Why should women treat you like a Chad?

The problem isn't that women collectively have double standards for Chads and the rest of men

The problem is that they lie about it

Vlad_The_Great_2 · 2025-09-12T18:57:25+00:00

I took my last girlfriend on a trips to Europe and bought her expensive gifts all the time. For you, my new girlfriend, a trip to Arby’s and sex in the parking lot is good enough.

Alone_Ambition_3729 · 2025-09-12T20:28:20+00:00

Men should expect to put in effort. But it can be pretty alienating when women will have very strict rules, low sex-drive/adventurism, but throws it all out the window for a more attractive higher status man.

Men don't do this to plain looking women. No man says "nah babe I used to go down on my ex, but I don't like doing that anymore. Maybe 2 minutes of my fingers on your birthday."

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-09-14T18:44:30+00:00

Why do women expect to be treated as Stacy?

Why should you be the most attractive woman to your partner when you arnt the most attractive woman?

Why do you expect special treatment when you are not special?

Essentially what this post is saying is men shouldn’t expect to have the treatment they want only women get to force men to do that.

N_Count_Council · 2025-09-12T22:18:18+00:00

They wouldn't feel like this if women weren't having casual sex with Chad and then trying to settle with the average guys. The issue here is obviously the casual sex.

Training-Cook3507 · 2025-09-12T19:12:47+00:00

Not sure it has anything to do with Chad. Men just don't want to put in the effort, period, because the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

FrankZapper13 · 2025-09-12T20:20:41+00:00

Yeah you're right, why would someone want the person they're dating to show actual desire for them and want to spend time with them? Why would someone not want to date a person who expects them to jump through all kinds of hoops and will do nothing in return?

I swear to god some of you people here have the most atrocious examples of relationships in your lives and it heavily skews what you think is reasonable. A good relationship is where both people treat the other like "Chad".

Logos1789 · 2025-09-12T21:45:23+00:00

It’s not that we expect the women we desire sex and relationships with to treat us this way, it’s that it’s not worth it unless those women treat us that way.

It would be different in a vacuum, but knowing that women treat more desirable men significantly better and even tolerate horrible behavior (which most men don’t want to do, they would just like more leeway than they’re currently afforded, especially since they already get suboptimal treatment in return), makes it much less tolerable for average men.

This was also different before divorce was normalized and the internet/social media/smart phones/dating apps, but this is the cost-benefit:

Nearly maximize desirability and put in immense effort for a chance to meet a woman who is sub optimally desirable to you, who you will get suboptimal desire, treatment, and tolerance from, who will be even less inclined to have sex (which is less enthusiastic and primal) with you once you make the ultimate commitment of marriage, and especially after having children… that’s not worth it anymore.

That’s begging for a midlife crisis.

OmoshiroiKudamono · 2025-09-12T21:50:06+00:00

If "Chad" was so into her, where is he now?

Why put in 110% effort for someone who sees you as a pump-n-dump? Would (most) men waste their money being p-n-d'd by Stacy-Rone? Nope. Unless they are Chad or Neckbeard Ned, men will put in more effort for those who reciprocate.

FrodoCraggins · 2025-09-12T23:14:34+00:00

Why should men treat you like a princess? Why should anyone treat the people they’re attracted to like they’re actually attracted to them? The most successful relationships are the ones where both partners treat each other like a resentful old married boomer couple, after all.

Clutterboxx · 2025-09-12T22:55:46+00:00

A lot of men want women to show the same amount of effort they show. Women only seem to be active participants in the initial stages of a relationship if

The guy is really hot
They are very unattractive

This mismatch in how women rate themselves relative to men only works out in the favor of the top men. They get to treat women like shit and get away with it, women get frustrated that they are competing for a small pool of men.

Rockkk333 · 2025-09-15T22:39:00+00:00

They shouldn't.

It's just a 'sad realisation' that the women i dream about, that they would just come over for straight fucking if i was just more hot, but they willl never do that, because i am simply not that hot.
I guess it's like a woman realising that great man (good looking and great character) are very willing to marry hot women, but not them, because they are not that hot.

WebNew9978 · 2025-09-12T20:26:19+00:00

I desperately want to be romantically/sexually seen/noticed by any woman I’m attracted to. Although at this point, any woman seeing me in that would be a good start.

I really badly want to be romantically/sexually desired by any woman I’m attracted to.

I want to date a woman I’m attracted to.

I want to be in a relationship with a woman I’m attracted to.

I want to have sex with a woman I’m attracted to.

I am extremely tried of watching every single man around me experiences those moments with a woman or several women while I’m still wondering what that would be like for me personally.

I don’t want to settle for a woman because she was the only woman left.

I don’t want to be settled for because I was the only man left.

If everything I mentioned that I want is apart of the Chad treatment then yes, I want that treatment as well.

Desperate-Exit7423 · 2025-09-12T19:28:30+00:00

I don’t expect random women to treat me that way, but if I’m in a relationship with someone then I definitely expect their best. I shouldn’t get less sexual desire, compliments, or overall treatment in general than she gave some other dude.

Jon_Boopin · 2025-09-12T19:09:31+00:00

I strongly dislike the "Chad" thing. It's an obsessive caricature that only serves to make men treat themselves harshly. There are "Above average" attractive people out there, yes. They are treated well because pretty privilege is a thing. Most matters come easily to them. Same goes (mostly) for beautiful women.

The thing is, there has been a lot of pushback over the course of history against the subjugation of women in competition with each other. Systems of thought and support have been developed to explicitly fight against these things. However, only recently have the same patriarchal beauty standards of yesterday come back to haunt men of today; the traditions of the dead weigh heavily upon the minds of the living.

Therefore, there is little to no thought or support for the common man who is now placed into even harsher competition with both the ever-increasing beauty standards *and* the standard expectations of a man both burdened on his shoulders, despite the fact that he did not choose to implement these patriarchal standards from the past.

A lot of men have developed senses of struggle, alienation, and depression. They see that the only men who get the kind of adoration we all crave are ones who are either gifted and/or had the privilege of accessibility + work ethic to get where they were.

I don't think men are wrong to feel undesirable, because if one isn't desired, to the broader world, you are largely irrelevant and invisible, and unless you have something else such as wealth or status to compensate, you're simply not worth any value; very similarly to how women are treated. It's even worse when you *do* see other men who are strongly desired. It's also very easy to overlook what factors helped those desirable men get to where they are - largely a lot of inheritance in both genetics and class privilege, but there is still a degree of work ethic involved (knowledge development, skincare, working out, etc). I also sympathize here. Why *would* you want to work hard when some jackass can get a small loan of a million dollars from Daddy? Unfortunately, you still have to pay the bills whether you don't work or don't get laid.

That being said, far-right forces from the ruling class prey upon mens' frustrations so that they act as the footsoldiers of fascism, which reinforces their class rule. They infest young mens' minds with bigoted rationalizations and maladaptive coping mechanisms, and astroturf their legitimacy with groupthink. Steve Bannon's cronies were quite active on 4chan/8chan as far back as 2014/2015 for a reason.

Me personally, I don't need to be seen as some god that all women throw themselves at. I consider myself an above average man in everything but the looks department (so far; I've lost 100lbs and gained about 20lbs in muscle and have started an intensive skincare routine - thankfully I already dress well and have great hair/a great beard). But having a woman express genuine attraction in me once or twice a year instead of once per lifetime would be nice. Arguably the biggest blind spots women have is that 1) they don't fully comprehend just how little attention we get, and 2) they don't see the differential between women and men in how much harsher negative (as in this specific context) aspects of our appearance impact our perceived value in the dating scene (yes, traditionally women have been judged solely for their appearance, but the fact is that all the data supports the idea of women largely holding the cards in modern dating)

Next_Measurement_824 · 2025-09-12T22:46:18+00:00

Think of it like this, who will you settle with once the top 10% of men are gone and all that are left are sub average men? There are so many of us and yet they have priority even though there are so few of them.

RelevantJackWhite · 2025-09-13T01:42:01+00:00

I am not an average man, and my wife treats me very well. My wife approached me, she was ready to have sex with me on the first date, she lets me use her freely even 14 years into our relationship. I'm very tall, I'm strong, I make 200k per year, I have a big dick, and I have a deep voice.

That doesn't mean I don't put any work in - I worked for the life I have, I work to make her happy, I work to strengthen our relationship and depeen our bonds, and I work on my own health, mental and physical. I work every single day.

This sub is hyperfocused on the first date, not the work needed for a lifelong partnership

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BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-09-13T04:40:17+00:00

Yes, men insisting they get treated like Chad when they are not Chad are dumb. But the bigger point is that both men and women need a mating regime that insulates the non-Chads and Stacies from the Chad and Stacy effects. Most women would not like it if most men had had relationships with women they found far more desirable in the past and had shown those women levels of desire, affection, courtly behavior and so on that they do not later show the women they settle down with.

RycerzKwarcowy · 2025-09-13T08:15:17+00:00

I don't mind the difference in dating like I don't mind uneven wealth distribution; but current state of dating is more similar to some third world country with crazy wealthy minority and most people struggling to make ends meet.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2025-09-13T19:29:41+00:00

I just want women to leave me alone

SexCrispies · 2025-09-13T20:17:28+00:00

Well I am a Chad and women treat me like one. I am not complaining.

Sander_Supporter · 2025-09-13T21:20:34+00:00

I don’t need any of these things (although they would be nice). But I never want to be in a relationship with someone who requires more of me than their previous sexual partners and gives less in return. Being treated like an inferior man by my wife/gf is my nightmare scenario

midnight_blue77 · 2025-09-14T05:00:36+00:00

Because I look like one.

By the way, I don't like women treating me like a chad. They are dismissive, creepy, annoying, and the shit-testing is unbearable.

trilobright · 2025-09-14T17:01:08+00:00

You can do as you like, just don't whinge about the results if you have no intention of changing anything on your end.

Logical_Breadfruit49 · 2025-09-15T07:43:22+00:00

I don't want to be treated like chad lol. I'm happy just being with escorts. I think being rich and paying for sex is even better than being chad, because even chad is getting rejected and ghosted.

Intelligent-Insight · 2025-09-15T18:59:43+00:00

Why do you expect to be paid as much as anyone else in the same position when a company hires you?

Do you not understand how nobody wants to feel like a chump and be required a lot of effort by the same girl who didn't require any effort from another man?

MistaCreepz · 2025-09-12T21:02:55+00:00

I don't expect to be treated like a god for just existing, thats woman thinking.

My wife treats me like a man and I have the respect of my family and peers in life and at work, that's all I need.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-09-12T22:18:09+00:00

I think it's about unsuccessful men who don't want to put more effort and justify their conditions with some form of injustince toward how women treat a Chad

Snoo71180 · 2025-09-13T17:01:03+00:00

There is no Chad or Stacy kiddos grow up and look up from your phones every once in a while. This is a serious technology & generational dating issue that's not going to get better as far as I can tell.

I'll take a Megan Fox but Stacy? Why....and Chad? If you only meet dating prospects through your phone, and have social anxiety whenever in public then you fit the following description - "I don't know how to actually interact with people in the real world including dating".......

Oh I do have to point out that the OP's 3rd bullet about "I want instant sex" has been true about straight men forever so leave Chad out of it. No credit for that one it pre-dates the internet and is across the board.

Title	Why should women treat you like a Chad ?
Author	That-Nerve8213
Upvotes	36
Comments	248
Date	September 12, 2025 2:57 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1nf5h26/why_should_women_treat_you_like_a_chad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-should-women-treat-you-like-a-chad.1561835 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561835

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