What do you miss most? (serious)

stockfasterbitch · 2024-02-03T18:17:29+00:00

I miss her. Or mostly the person I thought she was. I loved her and her kids more than anything. It’s been over a year since we split and I’m still not over it completely. I mainly miss the simple things I guess. Eating together. Watching tv. Talking. All of it.

AxeMuley · 2024-02-03T05:33:13+00:00

The daily little things. Mundane as it were, helped keep life interesting. But then the person she is today is not the person I married. I’m going to have a talk with my adult children about marriage being a total joke.

jimsmythee · 2024-02-03T04:16:31+00:00

I miss the woman I lost to pills. 5 years of our marriage were good. Last five sucked rocks with her pill popping disasters.

HurtingUnit45 · 2024-02-03T01:12:51+00:00

I don't miss her at all. I miss seeing my kids 52 weeks a year, and everything we built that she selfishly destroyed.

dukeofthefoothills1 · 2024-02-02T21:50:12+00:00

35 yrs marriage. Divorce finalized 2mos ago. Empty nester. Work from home. Financially successful. Pretty good on my own, but do miss the energy of someone else around. It’s good, however, not having a person come home unhappy/angry, and telling me I am the reason.

bk2747 · 2024-02-02T17:37:52+00:00

Miss about her? Absolutely nothing. Miss about the marriage? Time with my Son.

lebonroidagobert · 2024-02-02T16:44:02+00:00

seeing my kids every day by far and away

No-Exit6560 · 2024-02-02T02:42:17+00:00

The only thing I miss is seeing my son every day.

Most-Ad2879 · 2024-02-02T16:12:36+00:00

Is it the help with the kids?

I did most of it.

A special meal?

She cooked once or twice a year.

Sexy times?

Yeah, they were pretty good.

The way she dusted the baseboards?

Ha. She did laundry and vacuumed but bathrooms and baseboards would have been beneath here.

----------------

Having kids and careers that became more challenging really changed our (her) dynamic. Probably I miss most the few times we were able to get away for a mini-vacation. She was back to her old self, positive and fun.

Then once we would get back home reality hit and I could do nothing right and I was walking on egg shell again.

Timbers-creek · 2024-02-02T02:09:20+00:00

Her planning of our trips. She’d ask me what I’d like to do, things I’d want to see, foods I’d want to eat. Then bam, a few weeks later she’d have everything planned out in an itinerary. Also, when I’d come home from my work hitches, she was always waiting on the porch for me. That stopped in the last year of our marriage.

yolocheat · 2024-02-02T01:36:37+00:00

She made good meatloaf. I miss the family dinners. The good ones, that is.

Divorceddadrebuild · 2024-02-02T01:25:06+00:00

Intimacy…. Not love making, but simple times like making dinner together, having a drink and debriefing after a long day, and holding her before sleep.

But hey fellas… it’s healthy to have memories but not live in the past!

Today is your day!

probebeta · 2024-02-01T23:37:56+00:00

Family time. Even though she was a crap partner even on those family occasions it helps when there is another parent with your kids around and helping entertain them. It's very unclear to me whether you can have that kind of family time with someone else if she's not biological mother, I would really hope so but I doubt it. The next closest thing would be my own family.

Everything else can be fun and something to miss but it's not irreplaceable.

Great-Grasby · 2024-02-01T22:08:53+00:00

Ending the day by getting into our king sized bed with our two pups, watching Chopped or some other cooking show all snuggled up. God I miss that comfort.

Turbo_Jinx · 2024-02-01T21:59:57+00:00

Man, I was just thinking about this today. I genuinely miss calling my ex wife when something interesting happens. It doesn’t even have to be anything huge or meaningful (“Hey, I just saw your Aunt driving a new truck, when did that happen?!?). I just miss having her to share mundane daily stuff with.

I guess I also miss being able to call her to commiserate when something goes south, or to celebrate when times are good. She was honestly always my biggest fan and supporter and some days not having that one special person to call just hurts. I get this terrible ache and I miss what our life used to be so damn much.

Even though we’re officially divorced we’re still pretty good friends, and we interact in some form or fashion every day. I know I could call her like I used to…but it just isn’t the same.

ActiveShooter696969 · 2024-02-01T20:59:50+00:00

We used to laugh a lot together...I do miss that.

Chunderwumba · 2024-02-01T20:16:36+00:00

I miss seeing my kids everyday. We only have a finite time with them before they have their own lives and families.

MonarchistExtreme · 2024-02-01T20:05:56+00:00

The last 4 years of our marriage, I felt more like her parent than her partner. She was always starting fires (typically of the financial variety) that I would have to put out. She didn't contribute much money, no chores, she quit cooking, and there was nothing romantic about our relationship. 99% of the time she had a negative impact on my life but when the chips were down, crisis strikes, sickness, etc, there ain't nobody I'd rather have by my side. She'd be a rock and be pivotal in dealing with whatever happened but when the crisis past....she'd go back to burning our lives down lol

If I had to miss something I guess it would be that. I didn't know how I'd fare alone in a crisis. Then my son fell over in pain in the living room and I alone had to deal with it. Got him to the hospital and there was nothing major wrong but I realized I could do alright without her support.

Sea-Satisfaction4656 · 2024-02-01T19:26:29+00:00

Our wedding night. Laundry being done and clothes being folded. The future that I had envisioned together, the excitement of planning trips/surprises, and the conversations that gave me different perspectives and helped me become a more open minded person. The pride of cooking badass meals that her entire family would rave about for months afterwards and request for special occasions. Having a partner to make incredible memories and experience awesome events with. Going on crazy trips from coast to coast.

Hindsight being 20/20, I made almost all of that possible and I can do my own damn laundry.

Confident_Forever276 · 2024-02-01T19:18:20+00:00

Nothing. I was miserable and living to just fulfill my duties and to not go insane. When the music and the bass guitar found me I was a wreck. Now I walk forward knowing that my value

rhett342 · 2024-02-01T19:10:21+00:00

It doesn't matter. She's gone and all that stuff is in the past. It's much better to focus on what you have to look forward to.

vickyprodigy · 2024-02-01T18:43:41+00:00

Companionship

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-02-01T18:41:00+00:00

I miss dual income streams and seeing my kids everyday.

I can’t think of anything else positive about her, at least not who she became.

walkingdisaster4046 · 2024-02-01T18:22:02+00:00

Don’t miss her, I miss the idea of her and what was a very, very long time ago. She’s no longer that person.

I do miss being a nuclear family, my house, and friends we made together.

Got to focus on the now and build the life you want to live. The only path is forward not remunerating on the past.

MysteriousLevel526 · 2024-02-01T18:20:31+00:00

Mine gave me the silent treatment for 5 years before I left her. I don't miss a damn thing.

jalopkoala · 2024-02-01T18:19:48+00:00

If I am in a bad mood, I can always channel the joy I felt any time I heard her keys in the door. For years I was just so excited for her to come home. That moment is palpable in my memory. What a bummer that sound later turned into “oh shit, better be on best behavior so I don’t fuck this up and make her mad”. But I’m not going to let that take away the joy of that memory.

mikegatt90 · 2024-02-01T18:19:47+00:00

Not being in the same household as my daughter is a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I’m missing out on her growing up all because my ex decided she wants to be in the streets and have somebody else’s kids. Besides that nothing.

icemountainisnextome · 2024-02-01T18:10:18+00:00

Her jokes and laugh. She was so fucking funny and had an absolutely adorable laugh to boot. I get sad just now thinking about it. It brightened my darkest days.

Diablo_Canyon2 · 2024-02-01T18:02:43+00:00

The house with a big backyard and me cooking for my wife and kids.

80sthief · 2024-02-01T17:47:34+00:00

I miss the house, we had a gorgeous home. There are some happy times with the birth of our oldest child.

DicksOut4Edamame · 2024-02-01T17:46:06+00:00

Absolutely nothing. I was staying because I didn’t want to miss out on my daughter. My ex wife was a selfish taker. She provided nothing until she cheated and gave me a divorce. Ironic that the only thing she ever gave me of value was the exit from a marriage to her

Still miss my kiddo when I don’t have her, but she and I are two peas in a pod

lifeisallihave · 2024-02-01T17:36:01+00:00

Nothing that I can currently think of. I just ignored all the red flags.

Radiant_Chipmunk_616 · 2024-02-01T17:00:19+00:00

More than anything I miss my best friend. That person is gone, though, and who she is now is nothing like who she was for the first half of our relationship. She's completely become my enemy for how she treats me and treated me, and I hate that I can't just cut her out of my life because we share two kids.

I'm hoping and believing I'll find someone else, then things won't be so bad because I'll have someone to share my life with and hopefully have a better relationship than the one I lost.

But man is it rough to accept the loss.

Fwooply · 2024-02-01T16:47:55+00:00

I don't miss anything about my ex.

She's a taker. Her absence gives more than her presence.

allendale100000 · 2024-02-01T16:41:40+00:00

Not the spouse at all. I missed seeing my kids every day. Worst heart ache pain ever.

TheSmartPornstache · 2024-02-01T16:29:08+00:00

I’m not divorced. But I’m flirting with the idea. What holds me back most is coming back to an empty home. Empty bed. As many problems as we have I love our home, she has made it very cozy and nice. Everything from bed sheets, to the morning coffee, our dog, etc. Its hard to imagine a world without them.

Lululemonparty_ · 2024-02-01T16:28:19+00:00

The love bombing phase was good, but it was all a mirage.

ReallyNowSeeYou · 2024-02-01T16:28:03+00:00

Seeing my kid everyday that’s it

Reflog1791 · 2024-02-01T16:21:13+00:00

I see you chose the blue pill today.

Mopstick86 · 2024-02-01T15:44:31+00:00

Holding her after a wild night of sex. Just laying there naked talking and laughing. Knowing this is my person. I’ve dated but it’s not the same.

Sock_Eating_Golden · 2024-02-01T15:33:32+00:00

I miss my kids' family being whole.

berzerker5000 · 2024-02-01T15:29:46+00:00

I miss the way she used to look at me before SHTF

dog_fart_banned · 2024-02-01T15:28:02+00:00

I miss the 20 plus years of history that I won't be able to share with anyone else. Any future relationships will just seem so much shallower. I also miss the sex. She was Asian, so she physically held up so much better than most American women.

Gattsama · 2024-02-01T15:12:43+00:00

Real answer, I don't miss her at all. I miss the delusion and fantasy of the relationship. I worked a ton of extra shifts, I volunteered for it and take ownership that ultimately that was my choice; that allowed us to have a pretty amazing lifestyle: travel around the world, big house, home upgrades, lots of services, etc.

I was doing a ton of house chores too. And giving her whole body massages every night I wasn't working. Etc etc.

I did all this because I 'thought' I was being a good man, good husband, and team player. And even though life was wearing me down, I could always fall back on this is for the family, I am a strong provider, and I am a good teammate. But that was a delusion I held. I wasn't appreciated, respected, nor supported.

Even though it 'was not real,' I miss that feeling sometimes. The self-assurance, the knowledge I was working towards a 'greater' good and common goal/s. Now, I lack a mission. Make no mistake, my life is exponentially better. I've never been more peaceful and stress free, mentally healthy, emotionally fit, and even paying spousal support have MORE discretionary income. But I have no mission, no 5 year, or 10 year, or this is what my elder years will look like plan.

Let me also add together for 17 years, married 12 years, no kids, I worked & she didn't, and she was my first love and LTR. Life sucked in the marriage, but it made sense. And as I said, I sometimes miss that, but staying was NOT a healthy option!

4rdfun · 2024-02-01T15:03:34+00:00

I miss having a plan for my life, but most significantly, I miss my children having a home with both parents in it, divorces really hard on kids, I would’ve stayed in the shitty marriage for them.

Protomize · 2024-02-01T14:49:41+00:00

Don't miss anything. I do love now having more disposal income, peace and time to do whatever I please.

New-Amoeba9042 · 2024-02-01T14:44:12+00:00

Well, sec was great, but I miss the life we had built and were building. Gave meaning to every day that we were making something.

Flimsy-Ad-1959 · 2024-02-01T14:35:17+00:00

Traveling with her was the best. We had a lot of great times and going out, getting dressed up for special date nights.

WittyBeautiful7654 · 2024-02-01T14:32:44+00:00

Her presence, her snell. Mostly her love

One_Cartographer_465 · 2024-02-01T14:32:22+00:00

I honestly cannot think of anything I miss. BUT i know her now husband misses; making his own decisions, having any extra money, peace, OH AND HAVING SEX.

RedWineStrat · 2024-02-01T14:22:15+00:00

I miss who I thought she was, but I have my doubts she ever existed. At one point I thought she was the only thing right in my life. Everything else was a shit show. I believe we were both lonely when we met and used one another as a source of comfort like a drug.

She was honestly "too easy going" for me at the start. I was afraid of the fact that she was game to do anything. And I'm not referring to sexually. Just in general.

She made "the days move easy" - Dawes, "If I Wanted Someone"

ramad84 · 2024-02-01T14:12:27+00:00

spouse i dont miss at all.

i miss the financial freedom of having access to my income

daslaav · 2024-02-02T14:16:34+00:00

Living with my best friend. Watching movies and eating dinner together.

Title	What do you miss most? (serious)
Author	lettheflamedie
Upvotes	21
Comments	87
Date	February 1, 2024 2:04 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1agbqnh/what_do_you_miss_most_serious/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-do-you-miss-most-serious.1244337 https://theredarchive.com/post/1244337

Comments