Exactly

UnitedHoney · 2020-07-27T16:33:17+00:00

Y’all really be excusing this?!?!

Averyhvw · 2020-07-27T16:55:03+00:00

What actually happened is his friend downloaded the app on his phone, after he’d already deleted it! Duh! 😆

myousername · 2020-07-27T16:55:13+00:00

Also he isn't using it for business or to find a platonic friend. He's also not using it as a joke or just for a laugh.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-07-27T17:34:23+00:00

Women accepting shit like this because they don't want to accept the truth is why LVM men believe we're stupid.

MakeURegret · 2020-07-27T16:36:15+00:00

When people want to believe something so bad they’ll believe anything.

vntgRN90 · 2020-07-27T17:54:33+00:00

Some of the excuses my husband had for his multiple discoveries on plenty of fish sent to me over the years

"That girl you don't like is framing me, she's trying to sabotage our relationship"

"I don't know why my most visited website is POF, must have been from a long time ago and just showing up like that...idk why"

"I haven't used that in forever, it must still be active somehow"

And i let it slide every time!!!! Yes, I am currently in the process of leaving him!

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-07-27T17:35:06+00:00

"my friend made that account as a joke"

💩

Hhjjuuy · 2020-07-27T18:05:15+00:00

[deleted]

localgirlcult · 2020-07-27T17:59:42+00:00

"Automatically upload new pics from facebook"😂

Lmao did it also order lunch and go shopping?

I've never had Tinder but I somehow doubt it just gloms onto your facebook like a leech and starts uploading whatever it wants indiscriminately without any of your input. Who would ever believe this? That's Clownessa lvl.666

LaBaronessa · 2020-07-27T17:37:25+00:00

No more excuses.

KickHimOut2020

stackofwits · 2020-07-27T19:08:37+00:00

One time I caught another TA in my department on Bumble. I knew he shouldn’t be on there because I’d been interested in him, and after asking around learned he was dating another TA and had been for a while. I would’ve ratted on him regardless, but I SUPER ratted on him because this woman was and is and always will be way too fucking cool to be treated that way by anyone, least of all someone who claims to love her – she’s gone on two voyages in Antarctica for months at a time doing research for her PhD. We aren’t friends now or anything, but we do work on some of the same committees. I’m not trying to pat myself on the back, but it really has been nice, on a personal level, to see her decide she deserves better, because she always did.

uwuawooga · 2020-07-27T18:35:33+00:00

A girl I used to work with’s bf was on tinder, I screenshotted and she said don’t worry he wouldn’t do that🤦🏾‍♀️

Rabro · 2020-07-27T19:16:31+00:00

It's 2020 and we're still believing men? Lord have mercy. We got this and we deserve better

Elisa_LaViudaNegra · 2020-07-27T19:38:07+00:00

I will never stop kicking myself for the time I was dating a guy and we were out to dinner. His phone was face up on the table in plain view of both of our eyes. A Tinder notification popped up on screen. It was still pretty early on, but I was still surprised enough to ask what was up. He feigned SHOCK and INDIGNATION that the app was used widely for hooking up. “I’m just on it to meet new friends??? I don’t understand???” Yeah, that’s why. A whole bunch of new women friends whose photos you judge to decide whether you want to be “friends” or not. Sure.

I was so naïve. I believed the best of the worst people.

mscristalconnors · 2020-07-27T19:46:02+00:00

Pick mes believe anything but their intuition 🤪

isthisattractivetome · 2020-07-27T19:53:50+00:00

I outed a cheater in a similar fashion and his fiancé was brutal to me. It was a lot of emotional trauma and abuse on my end. She’s still with him, so I put myself through all of that for nothing.

yngdmbfullofcrmbs · 2020-07-27T20:31:07+00:00

I believed this lie when I didn’t really understand what Tinder was in 2014. After someone sent me screen grabs of my then bf on it, I made a fake one with fake pics to match with him. Not only did I find him, but I found a number of friends and colleagues in LTR’s on there. It was so skeazy. Never trust anyone that’s “with you” if they still have the app on their phone. Also- believe other women when they come forward to give you the courtesy that your significant other is on there. Don’t attack them.

munissa · 2020-07-27T21:01:52+00:00

If someone is sending you your boyfriend’s profile from tinder, he isn’t your boyfriend, he is your trash. Throw it out.

yegerska · 2020-07-27T19:17:28+00:00

Rationalization is a bitch. Sometimes people would believe the most ridiculous lies to avoid facing ugly bitter truth. No more rationalization for me tho

ms_monquis · 2020-07-27T20:31:58+00:00

Let's say you see that profile, or someone sends it, and the story you get is "I'd never actually meet anyone / it's just an old profile / it's for a laugh" and you WANT to believe that, what you're accepting is that "your man" is USING women online. He's using them for emotional validation, for sexual recreation, for who knows what other sadistic purposes. Is THAT okay?

There's no acceptable reason for someone you think you are in a relationship with to be browsing women. If you aren't pissed off enough about him using the app, get more pissed off for the scores of women he's lying to. And then include yourself in their ranks.

breadandbunny · 2020-07-27T19:08:34+00:00

I remember ages ago I dated a guy for 7 months that had his dating page up even after we were together maybe a few months. (I had already gotten rid of mine and was curious whether his was still up). I asked him to delete it, and he did. But I don't feel that it makes a difference. People just get sneakier.

HoneyBouquet · 2020-07-27T19:35:53+00:00

Yup I exposed a cheater on Muzmatch and sent the photos to his girlfriend.

Haven't heard an update from her so I assume she is still with him 🤦‍♀️

painmakesyoustronger · 2020-07-27T18:31:00+00:00

And he didn’t forget he was on it

kindthoughtsandwords · 2020-07-27T20:22:57+00:00

oooof. my ex told me that someone "hacked his tinder profile" and he "didn't know why he kept getting tinder profile confirmation sms's". I never questioned it. I didn't suspect anything, he just randomly mentioned it :/ beginning to think that I was played.

bloomin12 · 2020-07-27T19:47:00+00:00

LVM know how to Delete or press Snooze

My ex put his on snooze after his previous ex, while he was with me, and then after he went back with her... what a mess even I can’t keep up

Anyways, they love keeping their options always open I’m glad he returned to his original LVW

When I asked him what he saw in me, he said I was nothing like the girls he had dated... yea I had my life together until I emotionally let my guard down

queenbellarivers · 2020-07-27T18:27:52+00:00

Okay on this topic (but also slightly off topic) does anyone know the answer to this? My fiancé and I met on tinder (I know - hideous) and we were talking about it a while ago and trying to remember some of the dumb stuff we chatted about in the early (still on tinder stages). So mutually we both re-downloaded it at the same time (like sat next to each other) to see out chat on there and BOTH of us had new matches... neither of us had been on the app for 3 years and obviously there were messages from people that we never read before deleting. That made us both wonder about the “sending your profile rumour” but then (until this post) had not thought more about it. Does anyone know how/why I was able to get “new matches” despite not even having the app installed? Freaked me out a little tbh. Before anyone goes down the “he’s on tinder” route he absolutely 100% is not, and neither had I been.

bananamilk58 · 2020-07-27T21:05:42+00:00

Legit just saw a post in r/relationships with a woman who found out her bf has been using tinder the entirety of their relationship...and she’s asking what she should do. It’s so sad 😔

Tam2kids · 2020-07-28T00:12:23+00:00

I had a guy tell me the supervisor and vice president of the company he works for put his up to trick him into dating a fat chick....then he thanks me for saving him from having to meet up with her. Wtf?? Does he hear what he is saying???

jointsbeforesex · 2020-07-27T23:14:02+00:00

Some say "I deleted the app" but that doesn't delete your profile, so you keep showing up. Another thing that men do: its change his name or age. So fuckin lame.

bringtwizzlers · 2020-07-28T02:29:55+00:00

The pain i'm feeling rn for reading this ha ha...

This literally just happened to me and I have never felt more worthless. He wouldn't even own up to being on tinder, he said "he used to use it before!" Except we've been dating almost a year. And then I texted him today to try to get some sense of closure or apology and he ignored it. Feels AWFUL. But I am finding sanctuary in this sub.

letsnotkidaround · 2020-07-27T18:50:20+00:00

My ex-boyfriend got on Tinder less than 12 hours after of our breakup. My sister (who I had opened up the very day before the BU about how I thought he and I were finally in a great place in our relationship) called me after finding him on the app, superduperworried that he was actively cheating on me.

It was an incredibly embarrassing experience for me.

Men who can't stand being alone jump on OLD hoping that they can either: 1. Find someone they perceive as better than you (but they seldomly find someone else at all bc of them being LVM) or 2. Numb out their own emotions because they can't stand being alone.

eng2fly · 2020-07-27T23:12:55+00:00

Lol I found tinder on my then boyfriends phone after we’d been together for 2 years. The scrote trash had the audacity to say I was overreacting and proceeded to gaslight me saying it was just a conversation and I was being crazy.

Continued dating him for another year bc I was the biggest pickme clown 🤡

polygot_techie · 2020-07-28T00:56:14+00:00

What do you do in a situation where you see someone’s boyfriend on tinder or another dating app and you’re not close to the girl? I’ve had a few situations like this but I felt afraid of overstepping and ending someone’s relationship.

Another situation was when a guy and I matched and I looked him up on IG only to see a very recent post of him gushing over his gf. It disgusted me and I wanted to message the gf saying that he actively was on tinder but I didn’t want to cause her pain 😪even though I’d 100% would want to know that my SO was cheating on me.

Anyone else struggle with this?

victoriaaa249 · 2020-07-27T19:53:03+00:00

Because of this, I asked the guy I'm with if he's still on dating sites. He said yes, without a care in the world. I'm done

Wise-Jelly · 2020-07-27T21:18:45+00:00

This reminds me of when I found tinder on my ex's phone the night before college graduation. He flew in to visit me and after going out to celebrate I found the app right there on his phone. I was pissed and he kept telling me I was crazy and that he had just forgotten to delete it.

Those were the days....

Emma_Lemma_108 · 2020-07-27T23:03:35+00:00

Wait - related but unrelated - do I have to actually go in and DELETE my account or is deleting the app enough? I thought if I removed the app from my phone my profile would be gone but now that I'm thinking about it, that's pretty stupid.

lnbrrnt · 2020-07-28T04:06:59+00:00

I had the most amazing, wonderful, supportive boyfriend you could think of. He was there for me while I was hospitalized for mental health issues, I was there for him when his mother got breast cancer. We were really the dream team for five years, with marriage plans after our carreers done so we could live together and start our future.

Until a friend of mine saw him on Tinder. I confronted him, said he’s a loner and just wanted to have different kind of friends and different kind of conversations. It made sense at the time, he is a full geeky introvert type, so I asked him to please close the app and I’d just let it go.

Two years came by, and I saw that familiar flame looking logo on his phone. I said nothing, instead I opened myself a profile of my own and figured it was the same scenario as before.

Lo and behold, he shows up on my feed. Single and ready to mingle. My pockmeisha self in a desperate attempt of not losing him, put the clown make up on and went out on a date with him, ended up having sex. Didn’t feel right and wanted to walk away in the middle of it. Two weeks later I broke up with him, because he wouldn’t take the relationship seriously.

Later on I discovered FDS and saw all these red flags and became so embarrassed to allow myself to be seen like this.

Anyways… someone sends you a tinder screenshot of the guy you’re dating? Remember to respect yourself first and to believe in patterns, not apologies. Potential doesn’t exist.

chillinmelanin · 2020-07-27T20:12:50+00:00

I once met my ex boyfriend on Tinder and we dated for 3 months and it was clear that we were official. Usually by that time youd delete it right? Sometimes...not. I remember at the time he was complaining how he didn’t have a winter coat. Anyways, my friend sent me a screenshot of him on tinder..with this new coat. This is selfie pic in his current dorm room and it’s a picture I never seen before. I called him asking about his tinder, his response was “oh my account is still up? It’s old I don’t even use it” then I go “what about that new winter coat of yours?”. Oh college romance.

PicklesNBacon · 2020-07-27T20:29:17+00:00

Yeeaaaah I’ve had to explain this to so many Pickmeisha’s

Lazymandarin20 · 2020-07-27T17:57:07+00:00

My ex said this to me about bumble when my friend found his profile. He said there was for a brief time a bumble networking app only for "friends" and "professionals"... Professionals that like to fuck. Jesus how dumb I was.

alanukis · 2020-07-27T23:48:46+00:00

My friend’s ex said he had to have Tinder installed in his phone for security testing at his job (like, to see if the app would steal info from the employee’s phone). And she believed it.

cbrgirl88 · 2020-07-27T18:09:58+00:00

“But I’m using it to promote my music (or art, or whatever)!!!!” 🙄🙄

Boy bye.

Deadfreezercat · 2020-07-27T21:16:44+00:00

Haha but zoosk does send spam emails about finding custom matches right?

Asking for a friend.

imgunry · 2020-07-28T11:18:51+00:00

My ex would tell me he was looking for friends on a dating platform and that when we were taking a break he thought it was okay to immediately on go there? Said forgot to change his relationship status when we got back together - I found out maybe a couple weeks after we became a thing again. I'm kinda curious to if you guys think he was lying or not :(

Lingueen · 2020-07-28T18:21:35+00:00

The way women are conditioned to defend their crusty ass boyfriends... At some point, it's on them because they need psychological help to detangle that spaghetti brain of theirs.

teenygoblin27 · 2020-07-28T18:46:04+00:00

The fact that this literally happened to me lmao

And that my now ex gave me the excuse “I made the profile a long time ago”

Right that’s why his main profile picture was from the month before at a company Christmas party that I took him too.

Left him right after his dumb ass excuse

Brown_chick45 · 2020-07-27T21:18:22+00:00

[deleted]

BioStudent4817 · 2020-07-28T03:26:19+00:00

LMAO forreal, so glad i found this subreddit

supremelyparanoid · 2020-07-28T07:57:36+00:00

Yeahhhhhh this happened to me and my friend with her new boyfriend earlier this year. I sent her the screen shots of the profile and she is still with him

whatrutalkinbout · 2020-07-28T03:25:46+00:00

100% it wouldn’t be circulating. My tinder is DEAD until I open the app myself then I suddenly get likes/matches.

Left-Requirement9267 · 2022-06-08T12:09:52+00:00

Oh god, why would A woman just make this up? When a friend told me my ex was cheating I believed her because HE WAS! And I thanked her afterwards because she had the guts to to tell me and not laugh at me behind my back instead.

Title	Exactly
Author	Brown_chick45
Upvotes	4852
Comments	182
Date	July 27, 2020 4:32 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hyvlit/exactly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/exactly.718831 https://theredarchive.com/post/718831

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KickHimOut2020