Men Double Texting

scorchedsouI · 2022-01-10T06:41:09+00:00

It's a subtle way of correcting your behaviour, either done out of a need for control, or out of insecurity. Either way, it's a red flag and it also ruins the vibe. I don't like being questioned or tested by men.

Something women do is try to understand male behaviour a little too much. If a guy acts weird, just move on to another one, there's no need to do write several paragraphs on male psychology.

shockingupdate · 2022-01-10T03:55:41+00:00

Manipulation…and a childish strategy at that. No need to dwell on it, just block and let him find someone new to obsess over.

Platipus6 · 2022-01-10T02:59:38+00:00

I've experienced so much of this pure selfishness when texting. I have to respond immediately during the hour they have free to text, but I have to shut the fuck up when they're busy.

Some dude was double and triple texting me my name as I was typing my response on an app where it has "..." for a person typing. So frantic and bizarre.

Then he went off to take a phone call so I kept doing my thing. Then when he came back he spammed up a storm. Hello?? I'm back. Are you there?? I haven't lost you have I???

Holy shit guy.

And yeah your dude was petty as hell. Sulky little shit. It's conditioning. "Act how I want, when I want, or get punished". As if withdrawing their attention is a punishment lol.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2022-01-10T03:28:24+00:00

This will get worse. Your gut instinct is on point.

Can guarantee if he’s busy and doesn’t text back, you won’t be able to say anything and will be told you’re controlling if you do.

It’s double standards and he’s already playing games trying to punish you for not responding right away.

I had an ex like this. It got worse and worse and worse. I wasn’t allowed to be busy at work or dinner for 30-60 minutes. He would get in a big huff!

Yet, he would be too busy renovating his home or drinking with his buddies to text me back within 6 hours. Like, a whole day. And if I brought it up he would say “I don’t have time to sit on my phone all day at work like you do.” This then progressed to a whole night and day and night, further down the track. I don’t know if he did it to punish me (I think he did at first) and then I think that punishment actually escalated to cheating… I broke it off.

Basically, this petty and manipulative behaviour gets worse.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2022-01-10T02:42:24+00:00

Block them. You didn't respond right away so he's "punishing" you by making you wait until tomorrow. Who needs this childishness in their life?

Antique_Fortune6974 · 2022-01-10T04:22:31+00:00

Reminds me of the time I was talking to a guy for 3 days and evey time we'd plan to talk on the phone,he'd push it back to the next day. So on the last day of me talking to him, I was preoccupied with other things and it waa about shy of 30 mins of the planned time we agreed on. So I told him that I could talk now that I am available and I suggest we talk now that I am able to,before to gets too late,andhe told me I was giving him a stipulation.. (whatever that means). So I blocked him and here he comes texting from like 2 different numbers. Then had the audacity to say that I was blocked now and "how dare I I block him".

..Mind you, I have never met this person in my life,nor did I owe him anything. We were only talking for three days and he felt entitled.lmao

Edit :spelling

BackToTheBasics100 · 2022-01-10T02:51:17+00:00

I once read through a weird passage detailing how a guy would text a girl specifically for the purpose of cutting the conversation off early by saying that he "had to go". It was in order to put the girl in the "lesser" position of reaching out to him while the guy could withdraw back and remain aloof.

A commenter here observed that the texting guy's actions were to punish her; I don't think she's wrong, but I think it is more to entertain the fantasy that he has a woman who "won't leave him alone." It's a power play meant to inflate a sense of desirability, I believe.

whitefox00 · 2022-01-10T05:12:37+00:00

I’ve blocked several potential dates for this. Grew up in a generation where mobile phones weren’t a thing - so I don’t stay attached to mine. The amount of guys that have gotten offended it took me more than 10 minutes to reply is too high. Even ones that were sending an introductory message!

Davina33 · 2022-01-10T07:18:05+00:00

Gave me a laugh on OLD though. Men that would send a nasty message if you did not respond in an hour. We are drowning in dick on there. So they would throw a hissy fit like it's going to make us want to talk to them or something lol.

Davina33 · 2022-01-10T07:09:56+00:00

Men love playing mind games over text. They will text you constantly to start with. Once they feel they've got you they'll start leaving you on read for hours, days or even longer. It's like their relationship with us is nothing but a power struggle with us. I've only met one man who didn't do this.

greeneyesrosylips · 2022-01-10T06:08:29+00:00

This semester I met a guy from uni (we weren't dating) who would - I'm not exaggerating - send me about 10/15 texts in a row. He also said he loved me on the second day we were talking, and when he knew I was going to a party he wanted a mirror selfie to show my outfit plus a text to let him know if I had arrived home safely. I did NOT find it cute, I found it fucking creepy. Outfit selfies and "I'm home" texts are for my boyfriend and close friends ONLY. I never intended on dating him, but he immediately gave me the ick with his never ending texts. The last straw was definitely acting like my boyfriend when he was barely my acquantaince. Ew.

ewokblubber · 2022-01-10T11:21:07+00:00

In your case: Dump, dump, dump that guy. Not only is that manipulative, it also shows anger issues. Such a sisproportionate reaction to mild stimuli....Yay! Looking forward to him yelling and screaming because you left a cup out or some shit like that! Choo-choo! All aboard the train to Abuse-Town!

I don't mind double-texting. In my social circle, we all double-text each other with things like memes and innocent chatter. If the other person hasn't replied to a meme from a few hours ago, but you ahve an actual organisational matter to discuss now, obviously you're just going to text them- all whilst completely ignoring the message from earlier because it's widely understood in normal human culture that it's perfectly fine to ignore messages for a while. That kind of double-texting completely innocent and my friends, family, and I do that with each other all the time. But the issue here isn't even the double-texting, it's his obvious anger and the manipulative expression that anger takes at a non-existent 'provocation' only he can perceive.

kumquat_fds · 2022-01-10T05:30:01+00:00

If he’s this controlling when he barely knows you, just imagine down the line. It’s really creepy how emotionally involved he is already.

zorua · 2022-01-10T10:07:36+00:00

Its irritating. Happened to me yesterday somone said something, i didnt respond so they said oh you fell back asleep. No man I'm doing things around my house get off my case.

Sad-Seaworthiness224 · 2022-01-10T02:54:35+00:00

this is so highschool, the way he is acting

sounds like he's not busy enough and playing games, waiting on purpose to text you back, a redflag to me, I think you should move on you're better off

seashellsupplier · 2022-01-10T10:25:44+00:00

This is so manipulative. Double texting is more than fine in my book, I do it all the time. Like I‘ll have a conversation thread going, haven‘t had time to answer yet and see something that would interest them so I send it to them. But I would never ask like that, people will answer in their own time, if I‘m not a priority to them I will know. I don‘t have to chase after anyone and neither should a HVM. But while not in a committed relationship you have no obligation to answer within a certain timeframe, and someone who expects that is a red flag imo. Personally, within 12 hours is fine while dating (unless of course you‘re trying to make plans). If it takes longer you (or the other party) should give you a heads up they won‘t be able to answer for a while and when to expect to hear back from you.

Big_Leo_Energy · 2022-01-10T02:45:01+00:00

It sounds like you’re turned off by his childish behavior, for good reason. They do it because they want the attention, it gives them validation and relieves them from their boredom. You don’t owe any man a response, and responding in this case is still giving him attention for an undesirable behavior.

Good attention, bad attention, they’ll take whatever they can get.

Davina33 · 2022-01-10T07:07:17+00:00

I hate it when they do that. It might be understandable if I didn't reply for over a day but that's just being pushy. Best to block.

lolmemberberries · 2022-01-10T13:44:14+00:00

My personal favorite: A guy sending me the message "Still alive?" when I didn't respond right away to his low-effort, dry ass conversation bid.

That being said, this person's behavior towards you is definitely manipulative and he sounds immature. I'd block and delete.

Specific-Composer300 · 2022-01-10T09:03:37+00:00

What a freak 🤣

Guyincognito9876 · 2022-01-10T10:21:55+00:00

What a loser. Block and delete.

ChickaDeeD33 · 2022-01-10T11:49:18+00:00

All of the nope. Especially just an hour? Absolutely ridiculous to expect that from anyone with a life. I have sh*t to do buddy, you can bloody well wait until I'm ready to respond before you start getting all insecure (or worse, maliciously manipulative) about it.

Kylie_Fan · 2022-01-10T02:48:06+00:00

Manipulation. Next! 😒

Cat_With_The_Fur · 2022-01-10T04:35:29+00:00

They’re so angry at women and this is one of the ways that they can’t conceal their rage. This has happened to me so many times.

plumeriaworld · 2022-01-10T02:43:47+00:00

Ew block/delete.

Owl-right · 2022-01-10T03:17:31+00:00

From experience it's needy and signals that they feel entitled to women.

melympia · 2022-01-10T14:23:37+00:00

He's playing games. You didn't respond instantly, so he put you in (texting) time-out. He's either trying to "teach you a lesson" or make you so desperate you text him back immediately whenever he checks in on you.

Either way, block and delete. If he can tell you he's busy and that he's going to message you tomorrow, he can also just answer your message (and then tell you that he's busy now).

hotfuzzindahouse · 2022-01-10T16:08:25+00:00

Ugh this reminds, this one guy chatting with. Same thing, it would take me anywhere to 5-45 minutes to respond back and he’s done the double texting. I’m doing other things and also trying to unwind from a long day. Don’t want to be talking constantly to someone never even met. Then he hit me up with the “how is the service out there, is it crappy?” Said no it’s fine, then he got super grumpy and asking oh just wondering why you aren’t responding back to me and taking the time to get to know me” and was getting aggressive then threw out an invite to come over. Then he said he apologized and said he was fucked up and big into alcohol.

Betty_Bottle · 2022-01-10T07:55:09+00:00

"So you're not talking to me now?"

This was on whatsapp where he could see when I was last online and could see that I hadn't read his last message yet. This was back when I thought I had to be friends with exes. Don't do it. Even though they don't want to be with you they still feel entitled to your time and attention.

sunrisecherry · 2022-01-10T02:54:21+00:00

He sounds really immature. Imagine how irritating this would be every day

waddamelone · 2022-01-10T12:39:48+00:00

Absolutely not. He needs to show some human decency and understand that we’re adults with responsibilities.

I think it’s a bit different when it’s your actual boyfriend or husband. Because I sometimes triple or quadruple text when I remember something I forgot to say. But still. They (husband or boyfriend) don’t have to exaggerate and quadruple text me some bullsh*t.

modernmedusaa · 2022-01-10T18:13:42+00:00

Lmao he’s insecure & possessive- block

Before he starts calling you 66 time’s a day and accusing you of ‘playing games’ when you’re on the toilet

TheMostOfMe · 2022-01-10T03:14:40+00:00

I blocked and deleted a guy for doing this. I told him it was inappropriate & pointless because I didn’t have notifications on for that app & if I did I would have blocked him for it. Then he did it again. Bye boy bye.

Mignonettefrance · 2022-01-10T09:05:21+00:00

This bullshit is why I don’t do OLD, and except for logistics, I don’t text with men. They must call me on the phone or we won’t ever be talking, much less fucking. Having this standard weeds out low effort men and reveals manipulative men.

If his interest is high enough, he’ll man up and call. Save texting for when you’re in a relationship, and show him by having high standards that a relationship with you is earned.

pinkgirly111 · 2022-01-10T18:02:56+00:00

interesting to see how common this behavior is! i also dated someone who would get upset when i was unavailable, but then call me “crazy” 🚩 and “impatient” when he would go days without responding. these guys see you as a means to an end versus a human, person they respect.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2022-01-10T16:10:29+00:00

lol He is being so petty. Be glad you found out early. This type is ripe for weaponized incompetence in a long term relationship.

esthermaniii · 2022-01-10T19:55:15+00:00

He wants you to pine over him. He’s trying to “get the upper hand”. Their stupid incel dating coaches reach them this tactic as well.

AstridKrake · 2022-01-10T08:46:16+00:00

Instant messaging has made a lot of people addicted to instant responses. But, when it comes to men, it's just another way to get pushy.

In my experience, a HVM will not insist on you to answer his texts fast. He understands that you are a person with a life and that your phone is not glued to your hand. But a LVM, specially one who lacks confidence, will get insecure for every minute you fail to respond.

This is also an indicator of an abusive man who wants your undivided attention and will probably leech your emotional support. Although it's not always the case. And the fact that he then tried to "punish" you in a way, confirms how manipulative he is.

Hopefully you'll find this experience as a new veting tool for future men.

ButterfliesHurricane · 2022-01-10T14:36:42+00:00

If he sends 2 separate texts to tell you 2 separate things, it could be innocent but in the case you mentioned (chasing you up for a perceived lack of reply), he sounds either controlling or clingy. If it’s early days of you texting, I’d probably end it there and move on if I were you.

BedazzledSwashbuckle · 2022-01-10T18:01:49+00:00

Your instincts are good - he sounds awfully touchy. That's a little too emotionally high-strung for my taste. I'd fade that one out.

nishi06 · 2022-01-10T03:40:49+00:00

It is a manipulation tactic and a really bad one. Plus it's childish of him to then leave once you responded. I had a guy like this text me once. We went one one date, it was good, but then he started to text like this.

For instance, while we were texting, I told him that I did not want to get texts at night after 12 and in the morning before 8am because I'm more than likely asleep. So what this fool does is blow up my phone around 5 am and I didn't answer him till around 8 like I told him.

I stated we aren't compatible and we shouldn't see each other again then proceeded to block him. My advice if he is acting like this, it's better to leave asap. He doesn't value your space.

poffincase · 2022-01-10T03:28:25+00:00

it's ok for them to be busy and disappear off the face of the planet, but if you get busy for any stretch of time when they want to text it's a problem. as someone has mentioned here, it is very selfish. these are people you need to stay away from.

spicey_Thot · 2022-01-10T03:59:18+00:00

Yup definitely manipulative. That kind of texting is 1000% a massive red flag.

This_Line1638 · 2022-01-10T06:12:35+00:00

100% manipulative. They’re trying to establish dominance. It’s pathetic and disgusting.

milk_jam · 2022-01-10T06:14:02+00:00

Unfortunately I've met too many sulky idiots like that. Fucking toddlers. They really feel that they're entitled to all your time.

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2022-01-10T20:28:24+00:00

Block and delete. Anyone, man or woman who does this is a child with a nasty controlling streak.

PerditaJulianTevin · 2022-01-10T21:10:53+00:00

Men dm me on Twitter and act up when I don’t respond fast enough. I just block them. It’s Twitter not an effing dating site.

modern-medusa · 2022-01-10T21:25:07+00:00

I had a guy find me on Facebook to message me "what the hell???". And I said excuse me, wtf was that? And he's like "oh I thought you ghosted* and I'm like "it's midnight and I had fallen asleep??" Nutjob.

Daydreamingon · 2022-01-11T05:55:50+00:00

Reminds me of when some guy on bumble started video calling me cos I didn’t reply. I was at work.

He was shocked/unmatched when one of the blokes in the office answered for me 😂😂

vforvendetta87 · 2022-01-10T05:07:51+00:00

Sometimes I double-text people I’m close to due to anxiety (oh and BPD). On occasion I would double-text a person I’m not close to when I perceive they’re about to reject me. Note the use of the word “perceive” as more often than not, it’s my false-reality. Oh the joys of having BPD. I don’t wish this on anyone.

Clear_Elderberry_852 · 2022-01-10T03:51:38+00:00

I don’t like it and in my experience leads to problems like possession and jealousy later on. I have had guys double text when its barely 30 minutes after I told them I’m busy/at work. I can see if we had been having a good conversation for awhile and I hadn’t replied for a few days.

A good “hey I’m just checking to see if things are okay with you” would be fine and acceptable but guys will say “are you there?” “Are you busy?” and other annoying comments. I don’t like clingy men and that is the quickest way to make me stop talking to one.

VintagePallor · 2022-01-10T03:57:45+00:00

Thirsty and insecure. One of the biggest turn-offs for me. Not "double texting" because I often break my messages up or think of more things to add later, don't mind that at all, but the "oh you must not be interested" or "you still there??" kind of thing is SO ick-inducing to me I'm cringing just thinking about it. No matter HOW good a prospect he seems that just ruins it instantly. I don't owe you anything sir, bye forever!

srslyitsbad · 2022-01-10T04:50:05+00:00

This is controlling albeit in a passive aggressive way. Controlling behavior is the biggest red flag I look for, not just in dating but people in general.

SadWomanOnline · 2022-01-11T03:05:40+00:00

LVM burrowed in insecurity

FunctionallyReactive · 2022-01-10T03:03:54+00:00

Honesty probably gonna work out well and in your favor here. “I don’t appreciate you trying to ‘control’ the conversation like that. Nice chatting with you though.”

lilarose8 · 2022-01-10T03:25:40+00:00

Years ago when I was still a pickmeisha I was dating a guy who would text “good talk” if I didn’t respond within a few minutes. He worked nights and was free during the day and would say this to me when he KNEW I was at work. He was really rude and condescending to a waitress a few dates in and luckily it snapped me out of it early on so I didn’t get in too deep with this dbag.

cottoncandyisthebest · 2022-01-10T03:57:57+00:00

Very childish and manipulative. It will only escalate and new fun manipulations will be added.

Puzzleheaded_Dot8678 · 2022-01-10T04:03:01+00:00

I knew a guy who would double text me a lot. I thought it was nice and I figured he liked me but he was just trying to get into my pants.

ab_uno_disce_omnes_ · 2022-01-10T04:33:51+00:00

You have things to do. The whole point of texting is to reply at your leisure. A situation where he has an instant response when communicating is called “having a conversation” where you talk using, you know, your voices. Expecting to carry on a proper conversation over text in real time is ridiculous. He wants to have access to you when it’s convenient for him but doesn’t care if it inconveniences you. Like the others said block, delete, next!

mrs-not-know-it-all · 2022-01-10T21:03:04+00:00

I had to cancel a first date beacuse I got covid like symptoms and started self-isolation. So I sent the apology and canceled a couple of days before our planned date.

I checked his conversation 2 days later beacuse I had been having high fevers and wasn't active on social media. Dude had been having a complete conversation with himself. About how sad it was this all for him, how much he had been looking forward spending time with me, on how he thought I would look beautiful, on how mucho he wanted to kiss me and have fun with me 😏, stupid emoji included. Not. a.single.sentence on hope you get better or how are you feeling?

I was shocked when I saw the long ass string of messages across 2 days time, like what's the point? Make me reconsider being sick? Was he trying to start sexiting with a sick woman? Let me know he still wanted to go on that first date(which by the way he didn't say that), what am I supposed to answer to his nonsensical ramble? Was he having a tantrum?

The more I think about it, the more I think is either for manipulationv or complete lack of social skills, and neither is attractive. Sure if someone had canceled me like that I would have thought that maybe it was an excuse to get out of a date. But no matter how much I distrusted the reason of the cancelation I would have answered with something along the lines: that's terrible news, ı hope you get better soon, let me know if younwant to reschedule when you recover. And move on in no way ı would have had a texting meltdown on someone ı havent had a chance to date yet.

Professional_Bowl_83 · 2022-01-11T04:24:34+00:00

Yes, thats is super manipulative. He already expects you to be available on his terms and then he punishes you when you aren't? The whole point of texting is that you can multitask.. HVM will have no problem with conversation ebbing and flowing.

chloe321 · 2022-01-11T16:41:27+00:00

In this case, I would stop talking to him. That's so childish.

crafeminist · 2022-01-10T11:33:57+00:00

Tell him you’re busy tomorrow

l3arngr0w · 2022-01-10T04:11:22+00:00

🤢

Orangecat72 · 2022-01-10T04:21:39+00:00

“I’m raging” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Gurl, I know. I know.

JealousHospital8926 · 2022-01-10T05:44:16+00:00

Okay stupid games you win stupid prizes sista sista

gudgercollegedotedu · 2022-01-10T06:48:00+00:00

that’s very gross. I had a guy do this to me recently, I straight up told him that I don’t know him like that and that I don’t like needy, insecure guys. take it as a sign that it’ll only get worse the more you get to know him

Queen_Peach_X · 2022-01-10T07:15:07+00:00

This is such entitled behavior and should be rewarded with one thing only: block him.

Title	Men Double Texting
Author	snowwhite224
Upvotes	593
Comments	105
Date	January 10, 2022 2:39 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/s08ucn/men_double_texting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-double-texting.1095465 https://theredarchive.com/post/1095465

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