Saw the vetting through first date questions post and wanted to share a tiktok on reasoning why he might not like cats!

whiskey_and_oreos · 2021-10-16T00:33:58+00:00

This has been my exact experience with people who claim to hate cats. They don't hate cats as an animal, they hate the idea of an autonomous being with its own mind and boundaries who isn't blindly loyal like the average dog (and I'm also a dog lover).

Also watch for guys who claim to love cats but treat them like dogs. My ex would scoop up our cats and play with them, ignoring their body language and noises indicating they were about to scratch or bite. And guess what? He also ignored my body language and words and frequently trampled my boundaries.

And yes, I got the cats in the divorce and it's just us three ladies living peacefully now 😌

IAteTheDragon · 2021-10-16T09:42:18+00:00

Cats, dogs, different animals adapted differently to live among humans. Cats and wild animals won't stick with you if you don't treat them well. Meanwhile docile farm animals are butchered though they respond to affection the same way a cat or dog would. Doesn't matter how smart or stupid the animal is, they all deserve love and respect. ✨🙌✨

Technusgirl · 2021-10-16T01:55:45+00:00

Every narcissist I know hates cats. I think his explanation is spot on and why narcs hate cats too. Cats have boundaries and narcissists hate that. Cats just don't go running up to blindly, automatically trusting you. Cats are awesome. It's a red flag for me, plus I have 3 cats, lol.

Datonecatladyukno · 2021-10-16T00:41:40+00:00

Having cats weeds some people out of your life, and every time that is a good thing. Full stop

xfelugirlx · 2021-10-16T03:45:48+00:00

My ex lvm didnt like cats at first then he met my cat and started to treat him like a dog lol he bite the shit out of him😂😂 they don’t like that they are hard to get

extragouda · 2021-10-16T06:00:33+00:00

I would also be careful of men who say they only like cats. Ask the man if he has had a cat, how often he takes it to the vet, what toys he thinks are necessary for it... etc. Because some guys will think that you can get a cat and just ignore it. They just want something that they can ignore. They also want low-effort relationships.

randomgirl34861 · 2021-10-16T05:03:52+00:00

My cat was mean to my boyfriend when we first got her. He said that when I wasn’t looking, she would hiss and spread out all her claws and put them near his face. I believed him.. but at the same time I almost didn’t because I had never heard her hiss. I witnessed this from around the corner and was shocked because she looked fucking evil.

He did nothing to deserve poor treatment from our cat. He was kind enough to let me get her (despite having allergies) and spent all night with his little tool box assembling her big cat tower. I had a panic attack the first time the cat used the litter box (I’m anxious about fecal bacteria, my bio dad almost died doing work in a bathroom because fecal bacteria got into an open cut) and he scooped the box without any complaints (I have gloves and a mask and I’m better about it now). I know he didn’t want this cat, but he showed so much patience and kindness towards her and was so willing to help out with her care.

She was an adult found outside who wasn’t properly socialized. She wasn’t coming out of her cage or coming up to people at adoption events. When I saw her she was stiff with all her hair sticking up, and I opened the cage and she decided to gingerly step out and sit in my lap and close her eyes. I swear it looked like she was smiling and it was only for a few seconds… but I knew in my heart she saw her person and I couldn’t leave her there. Things were still tough because she was not socialized, but I continue to pour more and more love into her and she gives it back in the ways she sees fit. She has a good little heart and and she tries her best.

She came around and now she loves him. But, watching how he handled it gave me more faith in the relationship.

Elegant-Emergency-60 · 2021-10-16T03:25:43+00:00

Allegedly there is an Irish proverb that says “beware of those who dislike cats”. I’ve followed this advice and it’s kept me out of a lot of trouble.

Physical_Stretch · 2021-10-16T04:30:45+00:00

On the same token, if your dog doesn't like a man, that's even more of a red flag because it takes a lot for a dog to dislike someone!

Also, if your man is jealous of your pets. My ex was super jealous of my dog.

DarbyGirl · 2021-10-16T09:20:57+00:00

My ex doesn't like cats. Never told me that until I wanted another one. He thought I'd "grow out of it". Me. Who has a picture of me as a little holding...a kitten.

My dog likes my ex but is wary of him if she's up on furniture and he comes over to say hi. She doesn't like it when people completely invade her space and get over top of her. She has boundaries too and he just doesn't get it.

Winesday_addams · 2021-10-16T04:41:53+00:00

I have ragdolls and they're loving. I can pick them up and hand them to strangers. Some scrotes STILL don't like them. It's like a weird prejudice thing--or maybe the don't respect them because they know housecats can't hurt you like dogs and the only thing they understand is the hierarchy of violence.

AmeliaEmiliaEmma · 2021-10-16T10:37:50+00:00

My last long term boyfriend hated cats. We didn’t live together, and whenever I would say “I want to get a cat” he would blow up “NOOO!! I hate them! NO!” Etc. I would laugh if it off and not get a cat. I wasn’t even thinking much about his reaction until he said “you would have a pet and wouldn’t be able to come over my place over the weekends” and that had me realize…

I was the one driving to his place (1h away) because he always had that excuse “I can’t leave my dogs alone”. That further made me realize next things:
It was always me adjusting my life and priorities to fit his life, it was always me going out of my way to make his life easier/better but never other way around. He wanted me to be focused only on him.
Thinking about his ex girlfriends that I knew about, he also had them coming to him, even moving from their states/countries to be closer to him. One poor girl is still stuck in his neighborhood because she went broke and can’t move back to California. At one point, I almost reached out to her to offer some help because she was begging for help online.

Then I went and I adopted my boi. The best thing I have ever done! I am so obsessed with him. The ex still tried to sneak back, even said “it’s just a cat, leave it alone and come stay over for a weekend.” HELL NO!

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2021-10-16T02:36:40+00:00

Love what this guy is saying but the tongue clicking is reminding me of the demon possessed girl on "Hereditary".

When I used online dating I had on my profile "must love cats." Now I wouldn't give them a heads up to fake cat love.

DallasM19 · 2021-10-16T17:20:35+00:00

How they feel about cats is how they feel about consent.

CloacaDiddler · 2021-10-16T07:34:09+00:00

There’s a stigma around women liking cats and horses in particular. Both animals have truly wonderful souls, but their love and trust has to be earned, not demanded or expected just for walking in. But once you put in the work and are empathetic enough to connect with another complex living being, it’s beautiful.

Meanwhile my bf is obsessed with our cat and indulges my horse habit. Our cat has a few anxious quirks from living in a shelter all her life, but I’ve never seen her get remotely aggressive in any way. At most, she’ll ask for space, which we respect. Typically though, she’s glued to my side on the couch, follows us into the kitchen to eat whenever we do, comes to sleep with us no matter when we go in the bedroom, and is usually purring like a rusty chainsaw and has now learned to reach her paw out real far and give us a big tap for attention. She also licks us all over like kittens.

Bf’s parents abused the family cat by constantly spooking or annoying it for fun and being so rough the poor thing hisses and scratches at anything that comes near. Unless of course, you’re gentle and quiet, then he’ll tolerate some attention pretty well and probably only try to kill you once. It’s just sad how some people mistreat animals, and cats are an easy target because they do have boundaries, that many people enjoy stomping

the-worst- · 2021-10-16T03:51:16+00:00

I dislike cats because they make my eyes swell.

Doesn't mean I'm not going to admire them.

I just wish they would stop hopping into my lap! It's always me! Like WHY. Their human is all like "oh wow, my cat usually isn't this friendly! They usually hide in the vents!"

And I'm over there thinking "this is why I'm convinced cats are literal spawns of Satan! Out of ALL the people they pick the only one in the room that will suffer from the pets and cuddles!"

But damn if they aren't the cutest most prettiest tyrants on this planet.

But yea, so many people who don't like them and aren't allergic just scream control freak and narcissist.

(Sorry for the rant... but I'm leaving it in)

LilyFuckingBart · 2021-10-16T07:54:40+00:00

Re: this video: I don’t think we have to pit them against each other lol dogs and cats each fill different needs for the people who own them.

Dogs aren’t blindly loyal, either. But also, I get weird vibes from this guy so maybe I’m reading too much into it. 😂

zorua · 2021-10-16T14:27:45+00:00

Cats are lovely, my cats a bit of a turd though because he would meow constantly at 4am for food. Follows me on walk though, love that little loud mouth.

thatshadywitch · 2021-10-16T11:42:44+00:00

I don't know about this, my ex was a cat lover and he was a self-centered, unsympathetic POS. I am not a cat lover, I actually quite dislike cats because I'm a bit scared of them and I was also traumatised as a child when my cat - whom I loved very much - just disappeared one day. That being said, cats seem to adore me for some reason. LOL Probably because I just let them be, so they naturally come to me.

ms_monquis · 2021-10-16T19:28:39+00:00

Brilliantly put, my man.

People have marveled at how affectionate and people-oriented my cats are. That’s no accident. They’re both rescues who I gave the time they needed to feel safe, and to know that every time they come to me, something good happens…and ultimately, every time I come to THEM, something good happens.

At the risk of being cliche, I really wish people worked this way. Cats seem to seek balance. People seem to seek vacuums.

pineapplequeeen · 2021-10-17T02:41:18+00:00

It’s weird because my ex loves cats but he would always pick her up when she didn’t want to be picked up, she would meow and sounded annoyed and I would say “put her down she doesn’t like it” and he would say “she likes it, it’s fine” and it just weirded me out because it’s clear that he doesn’t understand boundaries.

Coder-Cat · 2021-10-16T03:01:26+00:00

Dogs love because they have to. Cats love because they want to.

motokos_ghost · 2021-10-16T13:02:56+00:00

maybe this applies to some, but my ex was a full blown narc to the highest degree and loved animals, loved his cat. treated his cat much better then he treated me actually. i'm not entirely on board with this idea, but you know what they say about a broken clock.

spliff1506 · 2021-10-16T02:52:25+00:00

Honestly, I couldn’t even focus on what he was saying due to what I’m guessing is an excess amount of saliva in his mouth? Between the lip smacking and the hair that looks like he just rolled out of bed to film a video? Also, and this is just my experience, every man I’ve met with a cat doesn’t clean they way one should with a cat. Litter and cat hair EVERYWHERE. Yikes!

Datonecatladyukno · 2021-10-16T20:24:46+00:00

The amount of women in this arguing cats are terrible and downvoting anyone arguing against it has me worried frfr

mxmoon · 2021-10-16T07:02:27+00:00

I don’t like cats. Does that mean I’m a narcissist?

Interesting-Bat3992 · 2021-10-16T04:47:51+00:00

This reminds me of a convo at school between my literature teacher and guy classmates before finding FDS. Both the literature teacher and guys hated cats, except for one guy who adored and loved cats (who in hindsight showed clear HV signs).

I found it off how they disliked cats and juxtaposed their behaviour with dogs, and I'm there sitting thinking that with cats you need to earn their love and trust while with dogs, they love you and trust you immediately. I couldn't get a word in because they were circle jerking.

Anyways, the video is spot on.

Kimpractical · 2021-10-16T15:47:29+00:00

Uggh I remember I used to say I didn’t like cats in my pickme days, thinking it would make me more likable. Now I have two cats and they are my world. Glad I grew out of that bs!

cwfs1007 · 2021-10-16T15:46:38+00:00

It feels like a nice accomplishment to earn a cat's love and trust.

kampamaneetti · 2021-10-16T05:43:22+00:00

His points are completely valid. I agree that expecting a random cat to like you and then being upset when the cat isn't into it is a major red flag. It shows a lack of empathy, or in the very least ignorance.

That said, I have a dog. I would never get a cat. I don't find picking up after my dog difficult, but I find cat litter is absolutely disgusting. It doesn't matter if you clean it daily, there's always that horrifying ammonia smell and they get their shit and piss all over their feet. And you have to clean out the entire box regularly.

I just couldn't deal with the smell/upkeep. It's too disgusting for me. I also had an ex who's cat had behavioural issues that were not ever addressed and would piss on everything. Just the faint smell of cat piss makes me gag.

I will love petting friends kitties if the kitties come to me though. They can be so adorable and sweet. I love animals.

However, in a casual conversation... I will say that I don't like cats if the dog person/cat person topic comes up. But it's not because I need or expect instant validation from any animal or person. I just personally find the upkeep surrounding cat ownership absolutely repulsive.

babe__ruthless · 2021-10-16T07:38:37+00:00

I am very allergic to cats so I can’t have any. But my dog is basically a cat in dog form. He doesn’t like just anyone and he has boundaries. You can’t pet him if he doesn’t want to be pet. He’s also 80 lbs and is not afraid to tell men he doesn’t like off. He lost it on a guy last week that was walking a bit too close to us. He was ready to fight him until the guy took the hint to go the other way.

StrawberryMoon3 · 2021-10-16T23:01:23+00:00

Cats are a lesson in consent. And most men can't handle that.

CoffeeCakeGod · 2021-10-16T16:18:32+00:00

This is so fucking stupid, I don't have to earn cats trust. I've been to plenty of friends houses and the cats gave zero fucks and just wanted to be pet and play. Their houses always smell, to some degree, of cat and cat piss, but this isn't always the case for dog owners. Cat people are really convinced they're all some sort of complex stand alone creatures.

Most cat owners are also disgusting and don't regularly clean the litter box, let the cat on the counter, let them tear up all the furniture and claim they're "low maintenance pets". I refuse to live with anyone who has a cat.

Cat owners need to chill with their complex, it isn't hating cats thats the problem, it's hating animals in general. People can dislike them or have a preference, but to confidently claim to hate an animal for no good reason outside of trauma is a red flag for me.

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-10-16T07:46:21+00:00

My friend's husband always hated cats, a few years later, they got a ... cat. He likes to chilll with it on a couch, but other than that he always yells at it, for "misbehaving". The cat is obviously very stressed. I had a lot of cats in my life time but any of my cats would hiss at me, scratch me, and bite me out of nowhere.

Sewud · 2021-10-16T21:51:27+00:00

This cat thing has done way too far. There are reasons to dislike cats that have nothing to do with the fact that you must earn a cat's trust. First of all some people who have dogs are very caring and take good care of their dogs. I can think of many reasons not to like cats:

They all look the same, unlike dogs who have a variety of sizes and looks
They kill birds
They carry diseases
They smell and make your house smell like cat
Dogs are more sporty, as in you can bring your dogs along to do sports with you
They jump - I saw a TikTok video where a woman is preparing her cats' food and as soon as she opens the door two cats jump on the counter savagely

heythereitsemily · 2021-10-16T11:48:11+00:00

I don’t hate cats because of consent issues. I hate them because they’re filthy. Theres a box of shit and piss in the house, they walk on the countertops, scratch up furniture, the house smells like piss, I could go on.
Some of these comments judging people just for not liking cats (if you don’t, you’re a narcissist? Beware of people who don’t like cats?) is ridiculous. Some people just don’t prefer them.

ldnsurvival · 2021-10-16T17:52:01+00:00

He looks EXACTLY like the kind of guy who likes cats 😂

For me, I'm not a pet person. Animals arent people, I'm not well versed in getting to know them. I'm always respectful but have no desire to befriend them tbh just a personal choice really

Feministtiktok · 2021-10-16T02:58:57+00:00

Cats purposefully act like assholes to everyone but their owner. That’s normal for people to not like cats because their an animal that are not a team player lmao. Cats tend to only attract introverts

afrodeasyak · 2021-10-19T10:58:25+00:00

Yes this! Cats a great barometer for knowing if a person respects boundaries or not.

Title	Saw the vetting through first date questions post and wanted to share a tiktok on reasoning why he might not like cats!
Author	flower-student
Upvotes	1346
Comments	144
Date	October 15, 2021 11:49 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q90g8g/saw_the_vetting_through_first_date_questions_post/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/saw-the-vetting-through-first-date-questions-post.1079273 https://theredarchive.com/post/1079273

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