Truth

CrownWaster · 2020-07-12T15:48:27+00:00

I was just talking to someone about this. I’ve been feeling a bit crummy because I’m not a hook-up type of girl, which seems to mean my dating pool is limited. One of my guy friends told me that I need to have hook-ups in order to have a relationship. I felt awful for a bit, but realize that I’m not going to change my stance to keep the wrong kind of guy interested. No woman should have to have sex to keep a guy’s interest, or to land a man.

hilariouslystated · 2020-07-12T14:54:14+00:00

Men try to spin every situation into one where they can get sex from women but then they get mad when a woman has a body count higher than 0.

Torir21065 · 2020-07-12T13:06:33+00:00

The whole idea of slut shaming is ridiculous. I read somewhere that men are called studs because it's hard to pull a lot women and women are called sluts because they can easily sleep with any man. But those people often forget women are pressured into doing things they don't necessarily want to do because they will be called prudes or raped. Not even to mention men encouraging women to get drunk. I heard so many horror stories even from married women who get it done and over with because they are expected to preform their wifely "duties" but yes balme the women

ayyymelees · 2020-07-12T13:26:18+00:00

I feel like almost every woman has been sexually pressured or assaulted in some way. Yet women are constantly scrutinized and judged for any sexual activity we have, regardless of whether we even consented or not. Its an awful world we live in. Men dont get that same scrutiny for bodycount at all which is bs

elementalvirago · 2020-07-12T14:45:17+00:00

100%. My platonic childhood best friend who knew I wanted to wait until marriage (or at least an engagement) before sex got me so wasted I blacked out, then he took my virginity. To this day, he still (when he drinks too much) calls to ask me who I slept with before him because he can't accept what he did.

Haven't mustered the courage to date at all since then, but when I do, I'm not sure whether to call myself a virgin or not.

Fuck men for pressuring women into sex, and fuck men for shaming us about it afterwards.

azngirl7689 · 2020-07-12T14:55:01+00:00

They’d just blame the woman for being alone with them...no attempt at self analysis.

InayahDaneen · 2020-07-12T15:25:20+00:00

I’ve read cases of men killing women who simply reject them. A woman’s life is in constant danger around every man because men can easily dominate a woman by physical strength unless she’s trained in martial arts.

buttofdog · 2020-07-12T14:15:43+00:00

[deleted]

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-07-12T13:23:43+00:00

Men rape a lot of women by getting them into situations where they are threatening and intimidating the woman into sex. There are men everywhere trying to anally rape women so the woman decides to have vaginal sex with him to avoid anal rape. That's not consent. Men do the same thing with vaginal sex and oral sex. I have been in quite a few positions where the man made it clear that he was perfectly fine using force to rape me if I didn't give in. That's still rape.

For any girl out there wondering, you don't have to count any guy that pressured you into sex as part of your "number". And don't ever let men mess with you based on your "number". They don't deserve any information, you don't owe them any information and it doesn't have any bearing on your humanity. They just use "number" to justify abusing women.

And for a bit of levity, I decided to only count men that gave me an orgasm in my "number". I told that to a nasty little scrote that was bothering me and my friends at a bar once. I told him it doesn't even count as sex if the woman doesn't orgasm. All the other women agreed. You could tell he's probably never given a woman an orgasm. The guy got so infuriated. It was hilarious! Bye, scrote! 👋

AyemHerself · 2020-07-12T13:25:52+00:00

There are men who do whatever they can to pressure women and then turn around and say "she had freedom of choice" to make sure she faces all consequences.

deathfromabovekitty · 2020-07-12T14:35:51+00:00

My last scrote cheated on me and I stupidly tried to forgive him.. he was annoyed that I wasn't as into sex anymore.

Excuse me for lacking enthusiastiasm for a man whore. My vibrator does better anyway!

2020-07-12T15:39:45+00:00

This hits home so much. I look back on my past and had this happen more times than I would have ever liked and really sad that this happens to any women at all.

RedditRabbitt · 2020-07-12T19:08:59+00:00

Always remember! You don’t have to sleep with a man for any reason. I met my husband on vacation in Mexico and went back to his place 10 days in a row and spent the night. He would take me on dates, buy me dinners, and spend days at the beach with me. We never had sex. I wasn’t ready. Guess who came to shitty South Carolina during his world travels bc I left him wanting more ;) He was a gentlemen the entire time and never asked for more than I was ready for. Don’t ever think you have to have sex with someone because you’ve been dating “too long” or he buys you nice things and takes you places. You don’t.

giftofnocondemnation · 2020-07-12T19:07:21+00:00

Men are jealous that we can get sex all day every day if we choose. They don't have this option. I've heard men say "if I was a woman I'd be a whore". They are jealous because deep down they absolutely would fuck a different woman every day if they could. They can't, so they hate us because we can do that. We don't do that because we don't think like men. We want love, honor, commitment.

SpiritualPlan5 · 2020-07-12T14:40:57+00:00

TBH I haven’t had a conversation about count in more than a decade, and at that time it was with my 20 something year old girl friends.
I didn’t think anyone even thought about that after the age of 30.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-07-12T13:41:46+00:00

Yep yep yep. I’ve had this happen before. When men are so much bigger, you can literally be scared into just doing it and getting it over with, to save the possibility of them getting angry.

2020-07-12T15:26:54+00:00

This reminds me of the implication in Its Always Sunny.

Incredible_Alligator · 2020-07-12T17:27:46+00:00

Sooooo this. I literally didn't know I could tell a man who liked me (who I didn't like back) no when I was younger. I didn't want to seem like a "prude". And I didn't want to "hurt their feelings" 🙄

I definitely have some regrets. Turns out I am a "prude" and fucking proud to be one. But no one ever taught me I could say no. I was taught to always be "nice" to men. What a load of shit.

thinkpinkhair · 2020-07-12T17:22:26+00:00

I can agree to this. A lot of time I didn’t want to say no because he was “a good kisser” or “good back rubber” or “it was a good date.” I’m sure if I didn’t sleep with half the guys because it was a good date then I would have been a lot better off.

hotchisbae · 2020-07-12T15:41:18+00:00

This 100%. I unfortunately have a high body count for this very fucking reason. If I were to only count the guys I actually WANTED to sleep with, the number would fit on one hand. There's nothing wrong with a high body count - if you want that, but most of my sexual encounters were Either forced, coerced, or I was just too scared to say no.

cinnamoroll18 · 2020-07-12T14:09:52+00:00

The general public ain’t ready for this shit, but it HAD TO BE SAID <3

Asbelowsoaboveme · 2020-07-12T17:01:49+00:00

This! So much this! Guarantee they’ll still find a way to blame women for being too agreeable instead of blaming predatory men

FlatConsideration8 · 2020-07-12T19:54:47+00:00

For that reason I have two body counts.. one that was consensual and the other was from this situation exactly, soft core rape if you ask me.

paperbagskirt · 2020-07-12T14:06:43+00:00

Ooohhhh isn’t this the truth.

Bug_Hugger · 2020-07-12T14:33:16+00:00

It's about time this conversation was had. Glad someone said it at last.

huna-lildahk · 2020-07-12T18:06:06+00:00

Don’t ask, don’t tell. I learned after the first 3 boyfriends to not disclose that information. They’re only asking to have a reason to be mad.

FastMushroom8 · 2020-07-12T14:42:35+00:00

If this ain't the truth

shakethat_milkshake · 2020-07-13T19:11:26+00:00

if i am ever asked a "body count" the conversation is over. first of all, "body count" sounds like you fucking murder people. second, the same insecure men that size up a woman's sexual history expect women to do in bed what they see on highly experienced porn stars do on pornhub.

0kfornow · 2020-07-13T02:01:26+00:00

Low value men degrade women however they possibly can. This is just one example.

TheFussyMillennial · 2020-07-12T18:35:30+00:00

And!!! For some reason they have this narrative that if someone has a certain number of body counts; that person is no longer valuable. I’m not sure where they were taught that

Probably by their parents

Mayonegg420 · 2020-07-12T22:05:33+00:00

I “lost” my virginity this way at 18. I feel for that girl.

VioletRomantic · 2020-07-12T17:59:55+00:00

I've really stopped going out because of this. I got so tired of men forcing me to say yes immediately that I have really given up. Im embarrassed about the number of people I've slept with, even though I didn't want to have sex with like 80% of them. I feel like at this point the only people I deserve are Nvm who are just going to see me as a sex object anyway because thats what I've let myself be turned into, and so my only option is to just be alone. 💔

sashimi_girl · 2020-07-12T14:25:58+00:00

Somebody tell Devyn she’s SMART as hell

liz2e · 2020-07-12T15:51:11+00:00

wig :/

hotdimsum · 2020-07-12T19:43:46+00:00

btw do anyone had overbearing parents growing up?

i think this was part of the reason it was so hard for me to say NO when i was much younger. i wasn't allowed to make any decisions at home, including what to eat. so i just got used to decisions being made for me. i never even thought that i was allowed a choice for a long time.

superlittlestitous · 2020-07-12T23:51:08+00:00

This! I was seeing a guy and one night things got heated and I told him I wasn't sure I wanted to go any further right now. The whole night he would randomly start making out with me in a very sexual manner and sighing when I would pull away from him. At one point we had fallen asleep and I got up to use the bathroom, when I laid back down I kissed him on cheek which he took that as a sign of me starting things. Finally he started to pull my shorts down and at that point I was exhausted and felt so pressured to move forward with him that I allowed it to progress. Still makes me mad to think about it.

dntbfllikeidid · 2020-07-13T01:34:38+00:00

Guilty as charged 😐

ladyluck7 · 2020-07-12T18:56:37+00:00

Well I was not expecting to get called out on Reddit today...

MannyTheReaper · 2020-07-12T19:46:37+00:00

Ive never heard the term body count used in this way before and thought it meant people that the person has killed

MightyJoeTYoung · 2020-07-12T21:25:55+00:00

I came across this post from the popular page, but I just wanted to say that I definitely thought this was about murder at first.

lazysundayaesthetic · 2020-07-12T22:41:21+00:00

I don't understand why you would add the times you were literally sexually assaulted to a "body count"

Taking away the fact that body count is a trashy term, why would you bother to count those

sireninchains · 2020-07-13T01:09:57+00:00

Dang. First time a meme made me cry before.

Itscameronman · 2020-07-13T01:14:29+00:00

We need to say no. And when that doesn’t work I carry a knife. We’re fighting.

Ms_Snicket · 2020-07-13T16:58:58+00:00

Yeah my toxic relationship with my ex led to fringe sexual things that I wouldn't do or necessarily offer in another relationship. Not because it was "special" or another dude wouldn't be "worthy" but because I don't really like it and only put up with it then out of pressure to "be more normal".

SanguineCynic · 2020-07-14T02:01:35+00:00

Powerful truth right here.

Woahmary · 2020-07-16T23:37:21+00:00

Or they say no and get shamed/bullied into it anyway 🥴 or catch you while drinking etc

letmeseeutootsieroll · 2020-07-12T15:20:23+00:00

Wow is that the relatable.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-07-12T13:35:11+00:00

[removed]

Ermernder · 2020-07-12T19:54:23+00:00

My last boyfriend was pretty awful about this.. he used the “lock and key” analogy on me. The man I’m now is awesome. We’ve been together 5 years and he’s never asked me about my number, never even brought the subject up.

JaneIsaPain · 2020-07-24T05:19:36+00:00

Ouch.

Karmaflax · 2020-07-26T15:43:49+00:00

Those scrotes are never ready when it comes to taking responsibility

Sakaesashimi · 2020-09-22T01:33:49+00:00

I have learnt not to date men who says “I’m not a man if I don’t try (to push your boundaries)”.

Title	Truth
Author	fabgab22
Upvotes	5259
Comments	157
Date	July 12, 2020 12:56 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hptyvi/truth/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/truth.712810 https://theredarchive.com/post/712810

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