Why Do Women Not Think N-Count Matters?

Willow-girl · 2020-11-17T16:16:02+00:00

Why do women think N-count doesn't matter? Because no one IRL ever asks us or makes a big deal of it.

Dora_Bowl · 2020-11-17T15:13:31+00:00

Would you want a car with high mileage?

So then N-count does not matter with this analogy, but rather the amount of times she has had sex matters. What would the difference in this analogy be between say one person driving a car for 10'000 miles and 20 people driving it totaling to 10'000 miles?

Putting this terrible analogy aside, no woman on here thinks that N-count does not matter, but rather they think the number devoid of context is meaningless. Would men rather get with a woman who has an N-count of 5 or 10? Intuitively they would probably say 5, but what if that woman got her N-count of 5 within one night? The reason why the men on here, I suspect, focus so much on the number is so they can be like "according to this empirical study if the slut velocity times the N-count exceeds the sex coefficient of 0.2 then that means there is a 78.43% of divorce" instead of simply saying they do not want a woman that was gang-banged at a party by an entire football team because they think that is going to be an unsuitable.

flamingoinghome · 2020-11-17T15:18:02+00:00

You know, this "debate" is endless and stupid, but the way you wrote this actually made me curious about something:

Guys here claim, ad nauseum, that women have NEAR INFINITE POWER in dating. That any woman can get THOUSANDS of guys for sex, and HUNDREDS for something more serious, at the drop of a hat.

And yet.

The moment n-count comes up, suddenly all that power....vanishes. Suddenly a woman with a high count MUST be at the very least a carefree hedonist but more likely someone who was repeatedly discarded by men who were using her for sex. The idea that a woman might have sex with a man, find the encounter unsatisfying, and dump the man in search of one who could satisfy her is inconceivable. Why is this? How can women apparently be drunk on their near-infinite sexual and romantic power, but also incapable of vetting men for sexual skill?

I think the whole quarrel is a load of garbage, but this is genuinely confusing to me.

Hoopy223 · 2020-11-17T15:20:28+00:00

It doesn’t matter in the beginning, its not like you can look at the pussy odometer or something. Women who have “been around” usually have other issues that get in the way of a relationship though. Insecurity, drug/alcohol abuse, dishonesty, attention seeking etc.

Atlas__B__Shruggin · 2020-11-17T15:07:49+00:00

because in my lifetime of experience dating and mating and those of my friends it hasn't and doesn't "matter"

MasterTeacher123 · 2020-11-17T15:21:37+00:00

I think n count is overrated because women turn down the vast majority of men who try to fuck them.

LittyKitsune · 2020-11-17T15:23:12+00:00

Because we see high-n women get pursued for LTR's and marriage all the time?

2020-11-17T15:42:10+00:00

I don't doubt that men care. Especially men that value chastity as a virtue.

Those are however not men I tend to date and get along with, to begin with. Nothing bad to them, just different types of people.

GridReXX · 2020-11-17T16:27:28+00:00

Imma keep it real with you champ it’s not a thing women care about because unless she presents as Snooki or literally fucked everyone in town, men don’t care or care to ask.

Plus men who bring it up even manage to turn off virgin women. It’s just a turn off to women to know her enjoying life [had a bf before him] is such a major turnoff for him.

My suggestion to men who feel this way is to be like the Mormon guys and propose to your chick when you’re both 17 and virgins.

Most women don’t care that men care.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-11-17T15:19:38+00:00

Because no guy I was ever seeing refused to have sex with me just because he considered me for an LTR.

Cimorene86 · 2020-11-17T15:25:35+00:00

I actually do think that N count matters, and wouldn't want a relationship with any man who is high N. For me that number is 15...more than that is a lot and an automatic deal breaker.

It either means that he's shit at having a steady LTR or had a ho phase that I could never relate to or that he views sex far more frivolously than I do.

Sex, imo, is something special. It's a physical way to say you love someone, or at least care for them very much and want to see them happy and give them pleasure. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't share that mindset.

It's okay that other people just see it as something fun to do or as purely physical relief from horniness. Heck, if you see sex as empowering or a way to rebel against your religious/conservative upbringing, fine. But I don't think that way and really don't want a partner who does.

It's also dumb as fuck when high N men think they "deserve" low N women like me. Why? We aren't prizes to be handed out to man-sluts who got ridden like the town bicycle by every woman he could get to hop on his dick. We are regular people who simply didn't sleep around. I'd much, much rather have a LTR with a virgin man instead of one who potentially has a bingo card of stds and baby mamas.

(Please note I said potential, I am well aware you can have a high N and practice safe sex. But with the sheer amount of guys who are high N and say they pull-out/don't use condoms...)

thelajestic · 2020-11-17T16:10:59+00:00

N-count is a very deciding factor on how you view sex, is it special? Or is it just sex?

It does matter, however plenty men also see it as "just sex". I wouldn't expect or want a relationship with someone who sees sex as a magical special, precious thing because we're clearly not compatible. However, to other people that don't view sex like that, n count doesn't (or shouldn't really) matter.

No man in this world wants to get on a knee for a woman, treat her like a Queen, and raise a family with her when she was literally bent over and fucked by 20 other guys who never treated her the same as you

Just because you don't want that, doesn't mean there are plenty men who it doesn't matter to. Some men actually, actively love it. Everyone is different and believe it or not, you don't speak for all men!

Twenty plus guys all said this girl wasn't worth marrying but I'll bend her over and fuck her to use her for my own benefit.

Why does every guy with this shitty take have this weird view of women having sex? I don't have sex with the expectation of marriage. I'm not having sex to try and lure some guy into marriage who's then deciding I'm not "worth marrying". When two people decide to have casual sex, neither of them go into it with the expectation that there will be a relationship or marriage. They both want the sex, they don't care about the other stuff. Of course there's the odd time when one party is hoping for more; but a significant portion of people who are having casual sex are doing it because that's what they want to do - it isn't a consolation prize for marriage or a relationship. In casual sex, both parties are using each other for their own benefit, which then kinda cancels out the "using" part. You want to have sex, you mutually agree to have sex.

SaBahRub · 2020-11-17T15:34:24+00:00

I don’t know why you guys think that most women are fucking excessively. Especially compared to what we could be doing

Anyways, caring so much about n count merely indicates that all women are to you is a sex device to be used, so why should this sociopathic mindset be of concern, let alone humored?

missile · 2020-11-17T15:09:40+00:00

Would you say it matters both ways then? As in a man with a large number?

Bandit174 · 2020-11-17T18:01:41+00:00

I'm confused. Women complain about how unfair it is that they are judged more harshly for their count but it seems like most women are saying that it never comes up in their relationships nor has it been the cause of them being rejected or dumped.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-11-18T01:35:17+00:00

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cunningcaring · 2020-11-17T18:53:11+00:00

Wrong on all counts. Your pride is all in you head (probably because there is not much else up there).

N count is the least important parameter of a human.

If you can’t handle it, don’t ask.

flowerwoven · 2020-11-17T23:33:46+00:00

Most women do think n count matters. It's just femininsts online spreading the lie that it doesn't because they messed up in the past.

stacythechad · 2020-11-18T07:58:50+00:00

Because it does not matter to me. It matters to you. Why do you expect people to follow whatever line of behavior you find acceptable? Why did you write this post, to bitch that people have the nerve to have different value systems? You can drop or not drop on your knees in front of a woman all you want, it's your prerogative to use whatever criteria for selection, but let's not get all whiney that girls don't trip over themselves to fulfill your image of the virtuous "Queen" or some other arbitrary feminine ideal everyone else in the world couldn't give less shit about.

What makes you think your value system is the one women should abide by anyways? Millions of men think that I must not look men in the eyes, not have a conversation with a stranger, not paint my lips red, not curl my hair, or not do some other goddamn thing that they are weird about and that is supposed to reflect my value and how much respect I deserve. I don't have enough sticky notes for all this crap. So whose code should I abide by, to deserve respect? Yours? And who made you the king of shit?

your rant boils down to "unless women display X they can't get Y because it's men's sentiment". I can't argue with it. It's something that you just... Decided.

goblinqueen487 · 2020-11-17T17:25:33+00:00

Because no man in the real world asks about this

Mimoxs · 2020-11-17T20:51:54+00:00

Bc we observe that real life doesn't match the fear mongering bitter men project.

To me, its just not worth the trade - you're trading your pride and respect and becoming Captain Save-A-Hoe.

See, men who do this take pride in it when they can successfully convert. They have savior complexes. Many men revel in the idea of being able to turn a former wild party slut into a submissive loyal wife. Many men also take pride in the idea of "rescuing" a "broken" girl from the cruel, cruel world and being like some guardian angel.

_Lemon_Stealer_ · 2020-11-17T17:11:54+00:00

No man has ever asked me. RP makes problems out of nothing

Urbantexasguy · 2020-11-17T18:42:13+00:00

Also, the idea that women lose their ability to pair bond, due to an "oxytocin resistance" from too many oxy exposures, has been debunked. That's especially true, given women's complaints that they seldom orgasm with most men!

spacechicken1990 · 2020-11-17T18:37:02+00:00

Because neither of my partners or potential partners have ever asked. In fact ppl assume my number is high because I’m really active in the bdsm scene & bi. Despite these stereotyped assumptions I’m still getting plenty of attention..

badgersonice · 2020-11-17T22:46:01+00:00

Sure, I get that some men think a woman’s Ncount matters; his Ncount and attitude towards casual sex matters to me too. I only wanted a LTR with a guy who shares my sexual values; and any guy who chased casual sex clearly doesn’t.

My N is 1 now, and I very much never wanted to be with some reformed poon-hound who suddenly decided he wants to “settle down” with a virgin or whatever. That kind of man is actually really gross to me: he spent years of his life and tons of effort chasing after women he’d never consider dating seriously? Well, I’m not interested in being the subject of his gross purity fetish, so no thanks.

NewSpekt · 2020-11-18T23:49:58+00:00

If they didn't think it mattered they'd be all transparent about it.

kimmysradscreename · 2020-11-20T01:44:54+00:00

Do you think that women are hoping for a proposal from every man they have sex with? That's absolutely bizarre. What in the world..? I don't know if you realize this, but women like sex too. If a woman is in a stage of her life where she doesn't want a serious relationship, but still enjoys having sex, I don't see what that has to do with what kind of partner she will be once she decides she wants to be single.

NarniaFox · 2020-11-17T15:17:59+00:00

Because there are lots of examples showing that it doesn't matter at least for some people. High n-count people usually pair up with their equivalents and it seems to be working pretty well.

I'm not into casual, but I wouldn't date a guy fetishizing my virginity/low count. I'm not a car, not a thing and I'm not "used" during sex, I have sex. If it's a problem for you, we just shouldn't date, it's easy.

BUT I do think that we all entitled to our own preferences. It's okay to want a partner with low count, it just isn't okay to shame people who don't fit in though. You can seek your dream partner as long as you want, don't get angry or bitter with people who are different and don't harm you.

Edit: you edited your post, but there was a sentence about used cars. Not nice at all. People aren't things and women aren't similar to cars, chewing gum, locks, cups etc.

2020-11-17T17:35:31+00:00

Because men never ask. Including in LTRs where marriage comes up.

I don’t know why this a popular topic here. Have whatever boundaries you want around who you date or marry. It seems like men want approval for this decision though, which no one has to give you. I can understand your reasoning but I don’t have to praise or admire you for your beliefs.

mannyso · 2020-11-17T17:46:58+00:00

I assume the guy has similar experiences to me 🤷‍♀️

I'd also rather be free to do what I think is right and good for my life than be constrained with the mythical promise of good guy as a reward. I was a virgin until I was 24 and the guys were not lining up for my low n count self and I was literally everything men on this sub are obsessed with. My quality of life and quality of my dating life are higher as a 35 year old post-wall, high n count woman than they were as the idealized virginal, femme, early 20s girl.

rennenenno · 2020-11-17T15:16:46+00:00

Jesus Christ. Alright let’s start with the fact that you’re objectifying women by comparing them to cars. I can’t believe I have to tell you this, but women aren’t cars. It’s a completely flawed metaphor with no actual bearing on reality. Next, please don’t pretend that your insecurities about sex are absolute or universal. There are plenty of people who are happy to marry a woman who is more experienced in sex. Believe it or not, they’re probably pretty great at sex. 20 isn’t even that high of a number. Finally, your whole mindset assumes a couple things: 1) all guys think the same, which they do not, and 2) there’s no such thing as change or growth in life, which there is. Chill out, let people have fun sex. Who knows, maybe you’ll even get to have some fun sex too if you just relax.

superlurkage · 2020-11-17T20:56:15+00:00

because we are people, not cars, pieces of gum/candy, or a fleshlight.

also, the hypocrisy makes me pretty secure in my attitude

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-11-17T15:52:50+00:00

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Six_Four_I_Adore · 2020-11-17T17:32:46+00:00

Omg, that is so brutal. Knowing that other guys treated the woman worse than you and they got to experience her better (when she was younger and not so ruined)

Hmmm... But what would be worse. Woman pump&dumped by 100 kings who treated her like a queen (were caring, buying her stuff etc)

Or a woman who was in just one LTR with a total abusive a-hole and that woman was serving and servicing him every way possible every day?

Sophiatab · 2020-11-17T23:30:26+00:00

Because unless the guy is a willing virgin himself (not just some loser that no woman wanted), n-counts really don't indicate that much about how the person views sex. Though it can indicate a lot about the hypocrisy in their personality.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-11-17T15:27:30+00:00

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wtknight · 2020-11-17T15:29:45+00:00

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theromanshcheezit · 2020-11-17T20:55:22+00:00

N-count sometimes feels important because women with more sexual history than I were often a lot more condescending and mean because of that gap. They often felt as if they knew what they were doing all the time.

2020-11-18T12:55:49+00:00

A man's n-count is important to women if they suspect that it is low or zero, which is true for millions of East- and South Asian men.

DerekMorganBAU · 2020-11-18T16:52:10+00:00

It's the lying that most men care about. Point blank. Most dudes won't believe the number a woman gives anyways, so my question is, why ask questions that you don't want the answer to?

rft24 · 2020-11-18T19:04:15+00:00

why do men think women don’t care about n counts? some of us do. i certainly do.

i would not want to be a wife who is devoted to serving a male whore for a husband.

cuddlemechloe · 2020-11-18T19:36:36+00:00

I think women care very much. They know men care. Some pretend they don't. It's a very prevalent sentiment among regular women I know and lady celebrities admitting to "hooking up with an ex during a dry spell/horny moment to keep your number low". Even if you don't like him as much as you might like a stranger you don't know, and thus have never had a fight with, have no baggage/drama with.

Lemme see if I understand your view. Does it lower the intrinsic value of someone to exchange sex for sex instead of sex for sex+marriage? That kind of implies that intimate offers by women are worth more than by men, if the proper "going rate" is that men need to give commitment, money, "queen treatment" & sexual pleasure in exchange for sexual pleasure from women. The other explanation for not wanting extras from men is women having sex drives, or that they don't actually want an LTR in the back of their mind. Some do, some, often when they're just out of a long one that ended in heartbreak, super aren't in the mood to make that emotional commitment again for a year or two.

So are they low value if they have a high number bc you see them as weak-willed if they settle for less than the maximum perks they can milk from a man?

I personally think sex is a special bonding moment, and don't have interest in casual sex. It takes me a while to even decide if I like someone romantically. But I also think that's a hardwire thing based on how my sex drive works, and how slow I am to trust/love, with no moral attachment to it. Casual sex or falling in love easy & often doesn't make me think it's dirty or the people are dirty. So my answer is I guess is :Anecdotally, I do think women care a TON, sex feels special to me, AND it is also just sex. Not an exchange of moral code or family values or sociopolitical cultural stuff. Just hormones and intimacy.

GreatRedYonder · 2020-11-19T15:00:35+00:00

I do think it matters.

It matters for men too though, not gonna ever go for a hypocrite.

neetykeeno · 2020-11-23T02:54:49+00:00

Because it doesn't matter to us? The guys who want you for a low N count are generally just looking for someone naive to con into thinking substandard treatment is OK. You're not likely to be missing out on a lifelong relationship with anyone worth-the-effort because you've got a count of six not zero.

2020-11-24T00:46:04+00:00

Promiscuity matters for people with a long term strategy - and the N-count is a good indicator. Past behaviour is a good indicator of future behaviour. There is a double-standard due to the fact that «mothers baby, fathers maybe». STI’s matters also - high n-count increases the risk of having viruses that can’t be cured.

Aversion towards promiscuity is a moral emotion that we are born with. There is obviously a variance in the population. It is a hidden rational emotion as it reduces the risk for disease and cuckolding. Women do not risk cuckolding, but are more at risk of disease and an abscent father if they get pregnant. Birthcontrol and the state providing both financial support and accountabillity from an associated father reduces the risk. That may explain the differences between men and women in the importance of n-count. Offspring from men with a high n-count may be considered beneficial for women if she has secured a provider.

The main problem is undisclosed differences in promiscuity between partners seeking LTR’s. Mating strategies are filled with deception and in a long term perspective usually causes a lot of harm. Divorce, infidelity, custody conflicts, broken homes, etc are rampant and the state usually sides with the women. Giving people the opportunity to make an informed choice and not deception should be the norm. Being rejected for a high n-count should not be a problem, as it reflects the other persons standards and not one’s own.

In today’s society any sane man would avoid long term relationships and getting kids.

2020-12-07T02:48:09+00:00

because it doesn't matter. her heart and soul are not her vagina. if 20 people kiss you, should your wife never kiss you? if 30 people touch your arm, should your doctor never touch your arm? its just a body part. its just skin. skin cells constantly grow and shed. she showers. her vagina cleans itself. it makes literally 0 difference except your lack of openness

throwaway12089767 · 2020-11-17T17:24:29+00:00

People who worry about a woman's sexual history are not worth my time and energy.

I mean, I get it if you're worried about STDs. But if you're worried because you think more than one partner tears the labia or something, then stay away from me.

Fuego213 · 2020-11-17T20:51:09+00:00

Umm what? I would gladly get down on one knee for the woman I love with a +20 body count.

I prefer similar experienced partners.

Reisiluu · 2020-11-17T18:57:00+00:00

N-count is a very deciding factor on how you view sex, is it special? Or is it just sex?

The actual number is almost meaningless without context. Promiscuity is what matters. And low n men can be promiscuous-minded too, if they are bitter and envious over all the sex they aren't having.

Did you meet the girl in your bed earlier today, on tinder? If so, she has probably done that before. But so have you. In my book you deserve each other.

Sex is for relationships, in my case, and I wouldn't have it with someone who equates it to a handshake. If a promiscuous man wants to rut with dozens of similar women and then try to have a connection with a low n woman who thinks sex is special, good luck. It would never be me.

wtknight · 2020-11-18T16:23:25+00:00

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AnarchoNAP · 2020-11-17T16:29:48+00:00

Women don’t think this. Sluts think this. Because people convince themselves of stupid shit if it’s in their best interest.

At the same time, many men overestimate their value and think they can do better than sluts.

Pinkiebratcherub · 2020-11-17T22:41:36+00:00

I mean I like sex dude why does it matter how many times or how many people I’ve don’t it with?also if a guy ever did ask me about this and I could tell it’s important to him, I’ll just lie

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-11-17T15:12:14+00:00

[removed]

Title	Why Do Women Not Think N-Count Matters?
Author	Aktarr
Upvotes	26
Comments	430
Date	November 17, 2020 3:05 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/jvuieu/why_do_women_not_think_ncount_matters/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-women-not-think-n-count-matters.733134 https://theredarchive.com/post/733134

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