would you mind dating someone uglier ?

NarniaFox · 2021-12-19T12:51:46+00:00

I could date someone who wasn't conventionally attractive as long as I was still attracted to them. Considering that I'm close to demisexuality, it kind of does make sense. My school crush got me teased by my friends as they thought he looked "weird". I found him attractive though, he looked like a teddy bear.

goatismycopilot · 2021-12-19T14:21:23+00:00

Being teased about having an ugly partner is something teenagers do.

I am sure men bust one another's balls about a partner but a ton of men have asshole friends they are " loyal " to over some shared hobby.

But since I am adult I do not have weird friends who would tease me about an ugly partner. They would say something about behavior.

JoeRMD77 · 2021-12-19T13:15:15+00:00

"The longer we know each other, the less important physical attractiveness becomes to beginning and maintaining a long-term relationship (Hunt et al., 2015)."

If you want to date out of your league: become their friend first

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-12-19T17:26:32+00:00

Uglier ..than what? I would never date anyone I wasn't attracted to. What would be the point?

Fusiontron · 2021-12-19T13:18:58+00:00

I tend to like dating men that are a little bit below my level. It sounds terrible but I don’t really care. I’ve found super attractive guys, more attractive than me, treat me worse because they probably have a lot of options out there and they often(not always) will treat you like that, an option.

Idk there’s something to be said about a guy who really feels lucky to have you. He will treat you like he’s scared to lose you, and I like having that power. Seems to work out good, I get treated well and the guy can “show me off” as he pleases lol

As far as being like super unattractive, I probably wouldn’t dare them, just being honest, but I did get charmed by this guy once who was really not cute but had a great personality. And he said to me “how does it feel knowing you’re the hottest girl I’ll ever have hook up with and I’ll remember you forever” and I was like damnnnnn well when you put it like that….idk just wanted to say that to the less fortunate guys out there that line just might work lmao

ItIsnt0verYet · 2021-12-19T19:15:25+00:00

Im not friends with people who shit talk my partner. I shut that down or we arent talking anymore. I dont date people i think are ugly. My friends might not be attracted but if i am thats all that matters. I dont know how else to answer this question. My physical requirements are pretty lenient imo so it has never been an issue.

y2kjanelle · 2021-12-20T03:10:13+00:00

You shouldn’t be with someone you don’t find physically attractive at all. Unless for some reason, that works for you, but it doesn’t for most people.

My friends wouldn’t tease me about it because they’re good people and would be happy that I found someone I’m compatible and happy with.

CimZim · 2021-12-19T12:52:47+00:00

If by uglier you just mean a guy who is a 5 instead of a 6/7, then sure. Some would argue I already do that lol.

But if you mean someone who is really unfortunate in looks, like a 2, no. I don't think I could get over the fact there's no physical attraction whatsoever. Sex is very important to me and there must be physical attraction for that to happen.

JoanGreenCat · 2021-12-19T14:55:45+00:00

No, I just can't imagine being touched by someone I don't find attractive to me. BUT important thing here is ATTRACTIVE TO ME. Not conventionally attractive because I don't care about what everyone finds pretty.

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-12-19T15:35:27+00:00

Nope, if I'm not attracted to you we are not dating, hooking up or anything that has to do with me seeing you with your cloths off.

Kay_Lore · 2021-12-19T15:37:39+00:00

If I personally thought he was uglier than me - I wouldn’t, only because if I viewed someone as “below me” then that would obviously cause problems in the relationship.

If other people think he’s uglier than me - That’s their problem then. If I’m dating him then I’m attracted to him and I wouldn’t care about other people’s opinions.

xSmashBrosNotHoes · 2021-12-19T17:16:33+00:00

would you mind dating someone uglier ?

Sure why not? Ugly people make good house security because they'll scare the intruders off.

343_peaches_and_tea · 2021-12-19T13:13:41+00:00

Honestly, all my friends think my exes were unattractive, but they were all pretty cute to me, so I don’t care one bit. I think I’m somewhere on the demisexuality spectrum anyway, so it works differently for me. I can’t be truly attracted to a man if emotions aren’t involved.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2021-12-19T13:12:07+00:00

I've dated uglier and I was embarrassed

Sen_ri · 2021-12-19T13:21:27+00:00

I’ve had crushes on guys considered unconventionally attractive. My boyfriend would have to look hot to me. I wouldn’t want to have sex if I didn’t feel attracted to him. What other people think could just be annoying.

JazziestCabbage · 2021-12-19T14:06:16+00:00

I mean from a personal perspective no because even if my friends find my partner unattractive, I find him attractive

2021-12-19T14:08:57+00:00

I like personality. For me personality leads with attraction. If the person has good personal hygiene and I enjoy being around them and they love sex I would not care all that much about looks

Hoopy223 · 2021-12-19T15:37:27+00:00

If I like her then I like her. Women seem to be more apt to worry about what their friends say. Guys don’t care as much. We also try to stay out of others business.

NaturalQueer · 2021-12-19T16:40:51+00:00

I mean I have dated people who others thought were unattractive but I have always been attracted to them in some way, if I really thought someone was “ugly” I wouldn’t date them. But I don’t really care if someone is considered attractive to other people

nick1812216 · 2021-12-19T16:57:29+00:00

I’m already rock bottom ugly,

SkookumTree · 2021-12-19T17:19:08+00:00

It depends. I'd be much more okay with someone who was a bit disfigured or deformed as long as our kids weren't going to inherit it than someone fat. I found a high school classmate who had about a third of her face badly burned attractive. Her face didn't turn me off, her sadness did. She had a great body and was hilarious and blunt as fuck.

Spread-Em-Plz · 2021-12-19T17:54:50+00:00

Like how would you deal with your friends teasing you abt it ? Would you like to be seen in public with them ?

What they say about my relationship doesn't mean shit. Plus, I see dudes out all the time with girls I wouldn't consider even consider average, and yes, I'd have no problem being seen in public with them.

Could you get past the lack of physical attraction

Absolutely not. I have no problem with dating someone who may not fit the conventional beauty standards of society, but I DO have a problem with dating someone I can't even get it up for. I wouldn't even consider dating someone if I don't think "I'd smash". If it's just her personality that I connect well with, that's what we call a "friend"

I'm willing to get past the lack of physical attraction if they're not ugly, but I wonder how other people feel ?

Not me. I just couldn't date someone I'm not physically attracted to, both for my sake and for her sake.

metropolisapocalypse · 2021-12-19T18:11:35+00:00

Ugly no, less conventionally attractive, yes. I need to be attracted to my partner.

Most of my exes/flings were attractive and probably my looksmatch, but that becomes less important once you start building a relationship. I'd rather have a less attractive SO than one who gets smashed at my Christmas party and embarrasses me, or one with fuckboy tendencies cuz he's cute and he knows it, etc.

Garth1234567890 · 2021-12-19T12:58:12+00:00

I'm demisexual so i don't care about looks, looks don't play a role in my attraction to a guy. I could even be highly attracted to a guy with a facial deformity. I don't even understand why anyone would care about looks at all as everyone is gonna age and lose their looks anyway, so to me it seems irrational to place any importance on someone's exterior casing, which is ephemeral, rather than just care about the person they are. I really don't understand why people don't think the same way.

peteypete78 · 2021-12-19T12:43:54+00:00

As an ugly fucker I have no choice lol.

Now I don't know if I am naturally this way inclined or just learnt it, but I am more interested in her personality anyway.

ChocolateSharp · 2021-12-19T12:53:24+00:00

I care about a good grooming, style and healthy weight, everything else when it comes to the appearance doesn't really matter.

TryLambda · 2021-12-19T13:15:53+00:00

I dated plenty of ugly women in the past, thinking they would be more monogamous, unfortunately I found out they turned out to be like the rest, lets just say the football team came a calling.

ashpr0ulx · 2021-12-19T14:23:42+00:00

i have to find the person attractive. whether that person is conventionally attractive or others find them attractive does not matter to me, but if i don’t have that “can’t keep my hands off you” kinda attraction, it’s not going to work.

AquaChip · 2021-12-19T15:07:49+00:00

I dated way uglier once and my dad asked why I was dating him. I said, “because he was nice” and he said, “you know you can find a better looking nice guy?” So that was the end of that.

januaryphilosopher · 2021-12-19T12:53:01+00:00

For me anyway there's a space between "uglier than me" and "ugly" (I find very few people ugly, or at least ugly enough that it would stop me from dating them). I'm happy enough dating in that space, especially when dating upwards in looks could mean compromising on things I'm not willing to compromise on.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2021-12-19T13:20:34+00:00

Grooming and self esteem is much more important than looks.

Research shows this.

A quick google returned a study that concluded this for looks vs. grooming in the labor market:

For both men and women, grooming matters more than attractiveness: Being attractive is not enough; it is doing attractiveness appropriately [being well groomed] that proves one's deservingness and is what gets rewarded

ogsimpology · 2021-12-19T15:12:09+00:00

Yes I would mind.

I always said, I'd rather be alone than with an unattractive woman by my side. It is what it is.

Women, like it or not, are status symbols for men aswell. I can't be having a good job, interesting personality, hobbies, fit body, and then having an uggo next to me. Sorry.

Also, sex is a part of the relationship. I need to be attracted to the person to have sex with them.

It is what it is.

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NinjaOfTheSouth · 2021-12-19T14:00:13+00:00

If I’m dating someone that doesn’t look that great it’s gonna have to compensated in other ways.

Like a phat ass or big titties, tbh .

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-12-19T14:06:33+00:00

As long as the rest of her looked good, yeah. Plain face with a nice body should be a fetish.

If she was uglier in every way, like she was fat, had ugly tits, body acne, etc., then she'd better make up for it with a great personality and drive for improvement.

Commercial-Engineer3 · 2021-12-19T14:07:26+00:00

I would never date or sleep with a girl uglier than me.

AtaCome7821 · 2021-12-19T15:16:35+00:00

I wouldn't mind, but I've yet to see a woman with worse looks than me. The girls I've been with didn't seem to mind though. I still don't know how to explain that tbh, seeing as to how shallow women are(according to this sub... 's women).

wtknight · 2021-12-19T15:18:54+00:00

I couldn't. I'm a very visually-oriented person and I don't think I could be attracted to someone whom I didn't think was attractive at all, and since I'm pretty average looking I don't find most of the women less attractive than me to be that good-looking.

I don't care about what other people thing about whom I date, though.

LAndLight2 · 2021-12-19T15:45:17+00:00

Depends on how much. A lot uglier than me is like a 0/10

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-12-19T15:49:52+00:00

If you're talking about a woman that's a little less attractive than my usual standard but was still attractive enough to me and had a good body and all that, yeah but if you're talkin about absolutely no physical attraction , that's not going to happen

Hjelmert · 2021-12-19T16:03:14+00:00

I'd rather date someone a bit uglier than me instead of more attractive than me. I would get insecure if my partner had hot women lusting after him, and i'd feel like he settled.

ididntwanttoexist · 2021-12-19T16:26:10+00:00

I don't care what other people think of my choice in a partner. I don't feel physical attraction but do feel repulsed by certain traits and wouldn't want to be intimate with someone I outright found ugly. It's not a problem just to be less attractive than me, or if I know they wouldn't be seen as conventionally attractive.

Educational-Cut4177 · 2021-12-19T16:55:28+00:00

I wouldn’t mind it

midwestufohunter · 2021-12-19T17:06:38+00:00

I prefer it

vetado · 2021-12-19T18:27:32+00:00

When I met her, my wife had acne so bad that she later went on Accutane for it.

But she liked Monty Python.

Gigamon2014 · 2021-12-19T19:44:27+00:00

My girlfriend is a cutie, tall and with a banger of a body but I get more attention than she does 95% of the time anytime we are out. Tbh I've also had people legit come at me on social media about me dating her. She's also dealt with a lot of antagonism from other women. I think of two occasions in the past where women literally hit on me in front of her.

Tbh it was never something I intended. I met her on tinder and messaged and persued her. She's my type to a tee but she did tell me that she felt I was a catfish before we met. It has been challenging sometimes as because I literally look like a fitness model (bigger and taller than most tbh) it often means people expect me to be walking around with some instagram influencer type. I've nothing against women like that, smashed a few myself...but we just never saw eye to eye personality wise. Might be a shitty Hollywood romcom influence but I've always been attracted to girl next door types.

Saying that though I 5hink deliberately dating down is absolutely lame as fuck...and it's pretty pathetic seeing how common it is among women. My girlfriend may not be a super model but she has an insanely enviable physique, which is a bigger deal for me anyway. Size 8 white girls with fat asses aren't that common. I never get people who aim for, say, fat people as they feel they're somehow less likely to cheat. If anything I would say the propensity for fuck shit was much higher among the older, less attractive women I met.

churron12 · 2021-12-19T20:28:11+00:00

Everyone saying yes is lying their ass off.

CrazyBaby8891 · 2021-12-19T21:57:12+00:00

how would you deal with your friends teasing you abt it ? Would you like to be seen in public with them ?
Could you get past the lack of physical attraction ?

You're arguing two different points here: other people's opinions on the attractiveness of who I'd be dating vs. my own lack of attraction to a particular suitor.

The way I see it, real attraction is quite subjective. A man I might find to be gorgeous could be a man another woman finds to be completely unattractive or just meh, and vice-versa. I wouldn't be with someone I am not personally attracted to and/or am uncomfortable being seen with in public, and if I had mean-girl (or guy) "friends" who would denigrate my dude over his looks (which should be irrelevant to them since they aren't the ones dating and/or marrying him) then I'd be unapologetically reconsidering those "friendships."

ChromaticVengeance · 2021-12-19T22:18:39+00:00

I would not date someone I'd be ashamed to be seen with

pikecat · 2021-12-19T22:42:54+00:00

I have outright turned down girls who were out of spec.

There was no personality to make up for it. Except one who had a sultry sexiness. I just didn't end up back on location to reconsider.

JameisBong · 2021-12-20T01:35:42+00:00

I wouldn't, but my dick tried once and it never took off if you know what im saying.

tubbycustarrrd · 2021-12-20T01:38:03+00:00

A. People become more attractive the more I care about them. If you have a good personality and we click, we’re good.

And B. My friends would never tease me about it, because we wouldn’t be friends.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-12-20T01:58:43+00:00

I would and have dated people who would be considered less attractive than me, but if you’re not attracted to them, it’s a bad idea. What others think doesn’t matter.

lostandconfusedhaha · 2021-12-20T02:04:58+00:00

I’ve never cared. As long as I find them attractive, where they are placed on the league of ugly/hot, I would date them and not give a care in the world what anyone else thinks. That said, I have had an emotional/mental connection with someone I barely found attractive. And it came to the point where I no longer found them attractive (only a month in) so I ended it. So, a thing as brief as that really has no implications. He never got a chance to meet any of my friends.

SyllabubQuiet2482 · 2021-12-20T04:39:39+00:00

Yes I don’t mind. One thing I agree with redpill is that dating someone 1,2 points uglier than you in relationship. They usually try hard as I’m the hottest person they’ve met so they really don’t want me to let me go and I don’t have to try as hard.

Vyrnoa · 2021-12-20T09:43:33+00:00

No i wouldnt. Looks are subjective. Attraction isnt based just on looks. One person might call me ugly. Another one might compliment me. I dont give a fuck what other people have to say about the person im with as long as im happy. Its none of their business. Nobody is really truly ugly. Theres a market for everything.

sweetvioletfluff · 2021-12-20T14:25:16+00:00

Yup, I did. I had my family even making fun of one my boyfriends. When I was dating I would have a crush on guys who weren’t necessarily handsome, but I’d be really super interested in them for other reasons like humour, confidence, their social life.

waraabe368 · 2021-12-21T12:59:05+00:00

Depends on what 'uglier' means. I grew up with my dad trying to influence the type of women I should marry from a young age. He'd always tell me to marry a 'good woman, not just a beautiful woman'. I had a phase in my early 20's trying shirk that advice off and went did a total 180. I thought my father unintentionally handicapped me from diverging from what I perceived as the 'norm'. I had a very superficial streak, and I can't say I was the happier for it after initial ego boosts.

Now I don't care all that much anymore. If there's a baseline of attraction I can work with, it's a total non-issue.

On the flip side, I hold the opinion of my brothers and close friends in high regard so their opinion would annoy me - but not even come close to stopping me.

Zerofication · 2021-12-19T12:44:43+00:00

When a woman says "not my type" it means the man isn't out of her league, because the norm for women nowadays is to go for men way beyond what their SMV permits, although it wasn't like this in the past.

Zcuzz · 2021-12-19T13:31:18+00:00

I dated a 3 for a while casually. When she wanted to become exclusive I had to turn her down since all of my previous gf's were 7's and 8's. Didn't want to make myself look like I was lowering my standards

Title	would you mind dating someone uglier ?
Author	throwaway9998785
Upvotes	13
Comments	157
Date	December 19, 2021 12:39 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rjvysp/would_you_mind_dating_someone_uglier/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/would-you-mind-dating-someone-uglier.1091673 https://theredarchive.com/post/1091673

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