If You Ever Have Kids, What Advice Would You Give Them So They Don't Wind Up Becoming A 30 Year Old Virgin?

AquaChip · 2022-01-04T20:34:43+00:00

The best thing you can do for a child is put the in social situations early. Arrange play dates with other toddles, expose them to people, sign them up for sports so they learn how to cooperate, communicate constructively, work as a team and take defeat. Never tell them they can’t go to a party or hang out with friends (unless you know those friends are bad), expose them to different cultures and travel with them to teach them that they are not the center of the universe and that life is not linear.

Young Kids rarely take advice from their parents and children are stubborn so even if you give them advice they will do the opposite. The best teacher is experience. That’s why you try put them in situations were they learn from themselves. They won’t know that the stove is hot unless they touch it so let them.

quabbicoo · 2022-01-04T21:00:46+00:00

I have a son - I won’t state his age, but he isn’t a baby. He has medical issues that make him an easy target for bullying. He’s an incredibly sweet child and very sociable; I enrolled him in daycare early for social interaction, and he attends public school now - he does extracurricular/sports (Tae Kwon Doe and hockey) so he can be confident in himself and work with others as a team.

He’s been taught that being a good person and doing the right thing doesn’t always mean you’ll be praised or rewarded, but that it’s still the right thing to do.

He’s been taught to respect other peoples boundaries and that even though he’s funny and smart, not everyone will want to be his friend and that’s okay. He doesn’t lose value or worth because be doesn’t get along with someone.

He’s been taught to set his own boundaries but to also be selfless when he can be - I want him to be a helpful person but not a doormat. When he says no, we respect his boundaries to encourage him to have those boundaries, and as a result he usually offers to help with chores and other things without being asked.

He’s been taught that it’s ok to be upset and provided healthy outlets for those feelings - he journals when he’s upset. I never invade his privacy. He also sees a therapist on a weekly basis.

He may end up a virgin, he may not. I can only hope that he’s a good person who truly values other people and doesn’t help others for personal gain (deception, transactional relationships). Relationships and sex are important and I (obviously) want him to find love and feel pleasure in his life, but I want him to have a fulfilling life so that a relationship is a bonus, and not something he clings to because he needs codependency.

Monchi_21 · 2022-01-04T21:57:03+00:00

The only thing to tell my kids would be something I learned not only from my on parents but from movies like Rocky.

“The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!”

throwaway316stunner · 2022-01-04T20:54:48+00:00

Pray that he/she takes more, if not all, of their mother’s genes.

sex_is_dirty · 2022-01-04T22:08:10+00:00

There's a lot of worthwhile advice about socializing kids here. Just remember though, in the final analysis, you can't fix crazy.

AdamLakewood87 · 2022-01-04T20:49:12+00:00

Whether it is my son or daughter, I would teach them to not focus on dating/sex/relationships at all until they are older, at least until they are done with university. If they do have these experiences when they are younger it’s important to teach emotional strength and prioritization.

Instead they should focus on education, community, family, sports, fitness, finance and becoming well rounded.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-01-04T20:51:03+00:00

My focus would be more on preventing ooops babies lol

PuzzleheadedBus9605 · 2022-01-05T00:30:33+00:00

1st Rule: be attractive 2nd rule: don’t be unattractive 💯🤟🏾

ledatherockband · 2022-01-04T21:23:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

RabbitNRaccoon · 2022-01-05T00:14:11+00:00

Why is being a virgin at 30 the worst thing in the world? People give so much energy to sex and virginity. It's a wonder we can function higher than primates.

I will never understand the grand preoccupation with having sex as if it is the end all be all of life.

If I had kids, I'd raise them to be healthy. With healthy boundaries. And a healthy ability make decisions for themselves. And enlighten them on the truths of the world that no one tells you really.

But I wouldn't instill in them the idea that having sex is the cornerstone of life. Because it isn't.

decoy88 · 2022-01-04T22:00:05+00:00

Hypothetically I’d make sure they have 3 distinct and mixed social groups (ex. school friends, + 2 extra cirricular groups) and promote healthy living, sports and exercise.

That’s about it.

ThisBoringLife · 2022-01-04T22:29:42+00:00

Me?

I got no real experience to think on, but I'd say this:

There's enough time in the day to do more than what you think. You wish to be successful academically? You can do that, and still go to social functions and talk to women.

What about actually talking to them? Be confident. It doesn't guarantee things will always go your way, but being sure of yourself never was a bad thing.

Drayenn · 2022-01-04T22:58:47+00:00

Just never give up, keep meeting people and be yourself, dont put on an act to be more interesting/attractive. Find people with common interests that follows you in what you like, not just taking the first interested hot person.

abaxeron · 2022-01-05T00:43:20+00:00

No advice. There's nothing wrong in being a 30yo virgin. There's a lot wrong in being a 30yo child support bound divorcee with syphilis.

AnabolicPenguin · 2022-01-04T20:35:15+00:00

If I have a son, I don't want him worrying about women at all. Get your finances in line, find out what makes you happy, and women will glomb on if they smell potential. I'll teach him that his happiness is paramount and the only women that should matter to him are those he chooses to matter to him. He is under no obligation to be of service to a woman.

Women are not the reason you live your life, they are an accessory. Stop making them the center of the universe and maybe one day they'll stop acting like it.

tf_bloomer · 2022-01-04T20:32:13+00:00

If I had a daughter I wouldn’t have to worry about that.

If I had a son that isn’t top percentile handsome then I’ll just tell him that women aren’t that important and most of them bring more problems and drama than joy so he’s better off following his purpose and building his career.

ahandtoyourdarknessx · 2022-01-04T20:45:10+00:00

I’d teach him to be stylish and well groomed and teach him the love bomb, withdraw affection, breadcrumb narcissistic abuse cycle, not because I advocate being a terrible person, but because it is effective

death_by_1000_cats · 2022-01-04T20:43:30+00:00

I have a 9 month old son. With him, I plan to focus less on "advice" per se and more on just making sure he has the experiences to build the necessary skills. Limit screen time, make sure he eats right and gets plenty of exercise, make sure he's involved in social activities, get him involved in sports and/or music, pay for cosmetic procedures if needed (braces, contacts/Lasik, acne treatment) etc. I don't think I can do much in the way of advice for a young man and I'd rather leave that to his dad, uncles and male cousins.

With a daughter, I'd do all of the above but I'd also feel comfortable giving her female-specific advice for other aspects of dating since I'm not too concerned about a girl's ability to lose her virginity whenever she wants. What advice I'd give her would depend on what type of girl she is and what her specific struggles are.

logiauser · 2022-01-04T20:54:33+00:00

No advise. I’d force them to play a sport seriously or take them to the gym with me ASAP.

Vicky-3 · 2022-01-04T21:16:49+00:00

I’d tell him, stay in shape and healthy, pursue your passions with diligence, don’t take womens words seriously (watch actions), don’t chase too hard and If a woman is interested you’ll usually know, don’t chase the “hard to get”, flaky or non-engaged woman. I’d tell him to observe a woman over time before committing or being exclusive and id tell him to appeal to woman’s emotions, imagination,senses and sense of fun and NOT HER INTELLECT. I’d tell him to lead her,

purplish_possum · 2022-01-05T04:13:44+00:00

Don't be harmless.

techr0nin · 2022-01-05T06:12:29+00:00

Be tall and be handsome. But for real though I actually do have a son that’s on the cusp of puberty. I don’t teach him about women specifically, but rather the importance of being competent at handling yourself both physically and mentally as a man, to know yourself, to explore your capabilities and limitation, and to know when to take risks and when to stand down. I encourage him to play sports, learn a martial art, to read, to pick up skills even if it’s seemingly useless, and to cultivate interests outside of school.

Most of the actual advice or teachings are really just long conversations where he asks me about how things work, and I do the best I can to explain what I know, what I don’t know, and what I think he should find out for himself. Kids these days are surprisingly sophisticated, and I’ve gotten everything from physics to politics to economics to pokemon. Just a couple days ago he said a friend was talking about Bitcoin and wanted to know what crytocurrencies are and how blockchain works, and I was like bruh you are in gradeschool wtf.

In another couple of years I’m sure girls will come into the equation. And what I would tell him is to just treat them like people, even the really hot ones (especially the hot ones). Focus on what you want and be good at what you do, build up your body and develop mental toughness, and the girls will come to you. And then I’d cross my fingers that he inherited my height and develops a strong jaw.

wtknight · 2022-01-04T20:41:16+00:00

If I had a son I’d have him play and get good at a sport that would both keep him fit and that would interest women.

It’s easy for women to lose their virginity, but I’d tell my daughter to wait until she’s mutually in love with a guy before having sex with him so she doesn’t end up getting in pump and dump or plate situations.

Vtridolla · 2022-01-04T21:12:16+00:00

Lol just treat humans like humans no matter what bits they have between their legs.

asshole67throw · 2022-01-04T21:34:49+00:00

The answer is to socialise them before the age of 3-5.

If they don’t become “cool” by then and get along with other kids, or they become introverted, they’re pretty much fucked by then it’ll be an uphill battle.

That of course would depend on your own ability to socialise with fellow parents to allow this to take place. Which means having your shit together, not being an embarrassment, having good personal health (not being fat and embarrassing), having a clean home, hosting social events, etc.

If you are introverted your kids won’t learn, they’ll copy you, and then they’ll have some serious uphill battles to do once they hit puberty and realise they can’t make friends because they’re whiney fat autistic incels.

Pretty much I had that problem until I was 15, I wasn’t an incel I just had no luck because I was 100lbs overweight an easy victim.

I dropped the weight by 17 (over 100lbs) I was lean, in marathon ready shape, got a job, made friends at work and college, got a social life, got a girlfriend, started hanging out with other couples going on holidays etc which I never would have done otherwise. Lost my virginity and at 18 and stayed with her for 6 years.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-01-04T22:29:37+00:00

In my experience, it was “put down the laptop, shut off the PS3 and go outside.”

Throwaway230306 · 2022-01-04T23:21:05+00:00

I don't worry about my daughter (8), she's pretty, naturally outgoing, social, and is already starting to get giggly about boys. If anything, I will encourage her not to start her sexual life too early.

My son, 6, is a quieter, shyer kid, and is one of the smaller kids in his class. My husband and I have tried to get him into various sports but the one he really seems to take to is hockey. We're pretty excited about this (husband has played all his life). I think playing a tough team sport and learning to skate will do him good. We went to open skate a few times over the holidays and watching my boy tear it up and turn heads made me so damn proud.

Other than that, all my kids (also have a toddler, more worried about potty training right now) have gone to preschool, done social activities/playdates, and have friends.

Beyond that, their romantic success will be a matter of luck, genes and their own effort.

FancyCocktailOlive · 2022-01-04T23:33:41+00:00

Don’t be a misogynist

razormachine · 2022-01-04T22:05:14+00:00

I'd encourage selfish behavior from young age and raise them to become good liars and manipulators.

I would made sure they start school one year later then normal kids, that way they would be among bigger kids. They wouldn't face consequences for bullying other kids. If he gets into trouble I would beat his ass for getting caught, not for the things he did.

I'd counteract libtard feminist media by teaching values on the extreme opposite, women are bitches, strongest survive.

And he has the best foundations to become pussy slayer 2000, the rest is up to him.

botfiddler · 2022-01-04T21:18:30+00:00

You can't ignore the existence of hookers and the fact that in 30yrs they're definitely going to have robowaifus. Otherwise, just let them travel to poorer countries but tell them about safety measures.

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sarkington · 2022-01-05T00:00:13+00:00

People are social animals. You’re not going to get far without attracting or getting along with others. Which means effort for the vast majority of us

Hoopy223 · 2022-01-05T00:16:50+00:00

Don’t be afraid. Its ok to take risks.

FrostieTheSnowman · 2022-01-05T00:29:52+00:00

I wouldn't call it "advice" but I would raise my kid to be more active than me, physically. I would also try to teach them nore important life skills like cooking, cleaning, healthy coping, and personal finance. It's crazy how much my parents missed with me, and I feel that my early failures were largely caused by learning those lessons the hard way. I think if I had internalized it all earlier, I would be in a much better position right now.

szclimber · 2022-01-05T00:40:40+00:00

I would encourage them to learn, grow and date! It's important to develope the romantic and social skills in your teens. Life can be much harder if you don't.

_lexxxi_98 · 2022-01-05T02:10:42+00:00

Don’t be weird. Have a sense of humor. Personality goes farther than your money ever will (that can be debated, but eventually you’re going to run out of things to buy, and are going to actually want someone). Shoot your shot even if it fails (don’t chase and never beg) Importantly,take care of yourself. Practice good hygiene and maintenance.

motherseffinjones · 2022-01-05T02:15:27+00:00

Keep working on yourself. If you keep yourself in shape and have a good social circle girls will come with experience. Having a great career and personality go along way

ThatgodHermes · 2022-01-05T03:55:53+00:00

Not to care if they’re a 30 year old virgin and to seek happiness and self fulfillment.

globalholiday5090 · 2022-01-05T04:04:32+00:00

be attractive dont be unattractive.

lessabe · 2022-01-05T04:54:03+00:00

There’s worse things in life than being a 30 year old virgin…I’d much rather my kids grow up to be well adjusted, happy, good people.

HeKilledMyHamster · 2022-01-05T05:15:43+00:00

I’d tell my sons to buy a woman from a nice country and not give them too many personal liberties, and for my daughter, I’d marry her off to the highest bidder.

flowerwoven · 2022-01-05T05:31:07+00:00

Get married.

Chaddamhusein · 2022-01-05T06:07:17+00:00

Test and growth hormone injections are all he needs to

The girl just needs to exist

ameminator · 2022-01-05T06:17:46+00:00

Don't have sex until you're 40. Why stop at 30?

NoNinja5632 · 2022-01-05T07:33:48+00:00

I would probably try to teach as much emotional intelligence as I could before they even worry about dating.

Prismatic_Symphony · 2022-01-05T07:54:29+00:00

Well the advice that answers your question is specifically for a son, because most daughters don't need any help getting laid unless they're extremely ugly. This is just about sex, as you only mentioned virginity and didn't ask about relationships.

I'd tell a child of either gender:

- Women and men are different. Learn what the opposite sex wants.

- Watch what they do.

- Get tested.

To a daughter, I'd say:

- Stay in shape. Your beauty is your value.

- Don't have sex with any guy who won't get tested with you first. (for her safety's sake)

To a son I'd say:

- I repeat, life is unfair. You're gonna have to do the heavy lifting.

- It's a numbers game. Cast your net wide. (but not completely indiscriminately)

- Women like money and status. Make as much of both as you can. Your wallet and your height is your value.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-01-05T08:51:05+00:00

DON'T

BECOME

OBESE

LIKE

AGE

13

CHIBS

PopularBug5 · 2022-01-05T10:53:02+00:00

Be friends with women. You can never have a girlfriend without being a girl's friend. Well you technically can, if you looksmax, but girls who are shallow are never worth your time, and they don't tend to stick around for long too anyways. Either they get bored of your looks and dump you, or you get bored of their looks and dump them.

Like a girl first in the inside, then you stop getting bothered about her looks.

No, anything involving computers or the internet is not a valid hobby. And metaverse is for losers. You want real human interaction? Go out there and meet people.

ProjectEngPro · 2022-01-05T11:30:11+00:00

Obvious answer: Competitive sports (one team sport and one individual sport). Workout.

It's simple.

Mark_Freed · 2022-01-05T12:46:17+00:00

play sports

g0juice · 2022-01-05T12:59:07+00:00

Get an education, work out, eat right, talk to them they aren’t that scary.

whymustveibeenborn · 2022-01-05T13:33:45+00:00

Hope they aren't ugly

Shredddz · 2022-01-05T14:01:46+00:00

its mostly not what you say to them, its the social development as a result of certain circumstances that cause a cascade of events that make men socially awkward and not manly.

the best you can do is get a son to be physically and intellectually competent and viable interms of interests so that he naturally develops in a higher, socially connected hierarchical position so that all the underdevelopment of social skills or formation of social fears get avoided or awkwardness and weirdness gets avoided.

much of this already starts in kindergarten. It really is important to make him as desirable as possible to have a good social circle. how desirable he is socially for other boys at a young age is what really determines the fate of his success.

all the non looks related problems come down to consequences from lack of social skills or issues that can only indirectly be avoided to not become a problem.

It really is the most important thing to guide this process until mid puberty, so that social interaction specifically concerning girls occurs as much as possible while in a naturally normal hierarchical social position and without being "weird" or unwanted due to issue from childhood undesirability.

It really is all about the male friends/social circle that needs to be intact, normal and hierarchically favorable when guiding his mental development. men can only be socially skilled and dominant/masculine if them have an intact social circle that is hierarchical and inline with the broader interests of you g males in general. boys being good in sports from a young age is crucial for that, especially because its the earliest form of hierarchy and play merged together, and determines opportunities to develop simply through desirability to other boys.

when he is old enough to understand complex dynamics, he needs to be taught the entire blueprint about how sexual selection really works, and before that get him to do stuff that makes him more desired even before he is ready to understand them, because what matters the most gets developed by the dynamic I mentioned, and is insanely hard to alter in adulthood, because you lack development and have bad development in its place that can not be undone directly.

when this is done correctly and the guy is not objectively ugly he will be chad and play them like he wants to, and he will have the best possible chances his looks allow.

Blackandeducated26 · 2022-01-05T14:18:39+00:00

Lmao in todays time kids aren’t even virgins so no need to worry about that part. What you should worry about is how to keep your daughters away from sex work like only fans

rick-dicking-morty · 2022-01-05T15:48:19+00:00

I’d teach him to be confident

PaidByPutinBot123 · 2022-01-05T17:23:45+00:00

Just focus on money, then retire to a poor country. Never need to focus on women until they are easily attainable.

StarchRunner · 2022-01-05T18:04:26+00:00

Suicide at 29 so you stay forever young?

heyitsjeape · 2022-01-06T15:29:54+00:00

“Whether or not you become a 30 year-old virgin is almost completely out of your control so don’t worry about it too much.”

ruboyuri · 2022-01-04T20:42:42+00:00

“Why would someone want to be your friend/hang out with you/give you a job/fuck you?”

Decent_Ad3564 · 2022-01-04T20:43:14+00:00

Get jacked, have multiple assets and get the hoe phase out of your system as fast as possible

ogsimpology · 2022-01-04T20:44:58+00:00

Make sure they engage into lots of sports and make sure he attends every play date he can as a child.

When he gets into primary school, I'd teach him more complex values and to never make enemies with people. Because enemies turn into bullies, or someone who IS bullied.

I'll make sure he has the toys and miscellaneous he wants, but not in excess. I won't give anyone an excuse to bully him for someone.

I will make sure he starts going to the gym as soon as he hits an agreeable height. Ideally 6'0", so he doesn't stay short when trying to get weight lift.

When he goes on to be older, I'll teach him to respect women, but never to let them use him for their own benefit.

It's complicated...

Zerofication · 2022-01-04T20:50:40+00:00

I would set them up for an arranged marriage at young age to avoid the toxic dating culture all together. With this, half of their problems will be fixed, and the other half is covered with patriarchal parenting.

UrFoodMolestedMyNose · 2022-01-04T23:11:33+00:00

Force them to do a sport if they are male and teach them early that isn’t not acceptable to be unclean.

No, you can’t just skip your shower (my brother used to only shower once a week untill he was 16

Yes you must wipe your ass.

jamesyabooy · 2022-01-05T00:21:57+00:00

Tell my boy to be himself and stay on his goals in life same if I had a daughter

I'll have an escort lined up for his 29th birthday just in case shit dont work out for him

Pretty sure if I had a girl, she could get laid.

IcarusKiki · 2022-01-05T04:01:51+00:00

Show dont tell. Aka have a loving and respectful relationship with his father, put him into sports early so he gains self esteem

Title	If You Ever Have Kids, What Advice Would You Give Them So They Don't Wind Up Becoming A 30 Year Old Virgin?
Author	xDankHorse
Upvotes	24
Comments	204
Date	January 4, 2022 8:22 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rw3qyl/if_you_ever_have_kids_what_advice_would_you_give/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-ever-have-kids-what-advice-would-you-give.1094590 https://theredarchive.com/post/1094590

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