Do you have any backup plans if your dating life collapses?

urukshai · 2022-04-29T18:15:15+00:00

I'm 27 years old single man, I failed in dating so far.

I own a house which I plan to live in forever and pay off and retire early. I don't give a single F anymore

Substantial_Video560 · 2022-04-29T16:08:08+00:00

At 37 and having always been single I'll most certainly be living alone in the future. It's something I've learnt to make peace with. Finding acceptance.

lectrohS_naisA · 2022-04-29T16:55:00+00:00

Do you have any backup plans if your dating life collapses?

Mine collapsed years ago. I'm a virgin at 30 and I still live with my parents. I have a good job in STEM and can afford my many copes. So these days I just enjoy working + my hobbies. Most of my hobbies are solo ones. Things like motorcycling, guitar, gardening and a few others.

Why haven't I moved? Well I just see no reason. I get along with my parents and save huge amounts of money (80% of my monthly wage) living here. I have no partner so it makes no difference whether I live alone or with my family. Although I have been looking at mortgaging a house just to get on the ladder.

I use online dating but it doesn't work great because I'm Chinese, 5 foot 6 and live in a 98% white city.

I guess whatever happens, happens. I will just enjoy my life and if no woman is ever interested, that's the way it's gonna be.

szclimber · 2022-04-29T15:56:06+00:00

I think just keep trying. People breakup, get divorced, etc. Relationships, romance, sex, and/or family make life worth living for many people.

festethefoole1 · 2022-04-29T18:35:36+00:00

As an older guy who has had more than my fill with women I've pretty much just decided to be single with occasional FWBs.

heftsirr · 2022-04-29T22:11:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

DrugDoer9000 · 2022-04-29T19:36:33+00:00

Make money, afford copes

ashpr0ulx · 2022-04-29T15:49:29+00:00

not really, no. i guess i’d just eventually keep looking if my current relationship ended.

i didn’t meet my current partner until i was 30 and it’s the happiest, healthiest relationship i’ve been in. 30 isn’t anywhere near too late.

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-04-29T15:47:28+00:00

You're only 30. You're like another 10 years of failure away from this kind of mentality.

If you're struggling with anxiety and depression you should deal with those things regardless of whether you don't or do get into a relationship.

SlipSunnySide · 2022-04-29T21:00:49+00:00

make your goal to pay as little to no taxes as possible, move abroad etc. because the less money you into the system the shorter it lasts. Women are net tax takers

DivineWakaloon · 2022-04-29T16:35:13+00:00

Counting all the money in my bank accounts and letting gold and silver coins spill from my fingers and make it rain in a tickling sound of joy and happiness.

Turns out money can by happiness. Vagina, not so much.

urukshai · 2022-04-29T21:11:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

hhhhhhikkmvjjhj · 2022-04-30T00:08:36+00:00

I ended up buying a sex doll which is great. I would also like to get a cat at some point. I’m saving up money to retire early. I’m 37.

I have been single and virgin most of my life, so the chances of me meeting someone is abysmally low. I do dream of meeting someone though.

I think for men like us sex dolls are a great option. There will be a lot of us in the world moving forward, as men as a Group are failing and also being more in numbers then women.

I have a lot of thoughts on being a failure and I think at some point o will commit suicide. I’m simply wired that way. Not yet though I can still stand being alive. I eat antidepressants which help a bit with numbing emotions.

DrinkItInMan11 · 2022-04-29T16:00:22+00:00

Yep, get rich and fuck hookers. And yes, I will ensure I get to that point.

Rushbyb · 2022-04-29T16:09:52+00:00

In my 20's i would always just say what ever would get me laid. I got tried of being fake and now im struggling. i could always go back to being fake but you never get a real connection that way.

LSX81 · 2022-04-29T16:49:04+00:00

Yeah, I'm actually working on mine.

I was in an LTR I thought would last my life. It lasted only four years.

Prior to that LTR, my dream as a kid was always to become famous. I used to tell everyone I would be famous, from like 5-17. I didn't know in what, I didn't know how, or anything. But I was always talented, so I figured I'd find a way.

With that LTR ending, I just haven't felt right with other women. A combination of... I don't trust that I'm not sinking effort into something without opportunity for pay-off. I don't connect with women like I did my previous LTR. These other women don't appeal to me as much as her, either.

So I introspected. What do I want? I want to make my dreams reality. I've spent a long time working on my craft now, and I'm going to start pushing to "make it." It's been a really fun path for me, and I'm excited to see what I can make happen. It's a lot more rewarding than any relationship. This is my backup plan.

delight-n-angers · 2022-04-29T20:04:52+00:00

Do you have any backup plan for failing to get a partner?

I have a partner, but in the event that our marriage fell apart or he died and i were back on the market my backup plan would literally just be to fulfill myself. hobbies, friends, community activism, family....there's so much more cool shit in the world than just dating and sex.

SuperSaiyanAssHair · 2022-04-29T20:38:31+00:00

Monk mode, stretch my body to its limits physically, follow creative pursuits.

Khanluka · 2022-04-29T22:46:03+00:00

It already is dead end 30 and never had a girl friend.

So i focus on my passion projects end paying of my house. And trying to work in a way that i enjoy my work a ss much as possible.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-04-29T15:56:46+00:00

Yes my back up plan is I know I can afford to keep my home and a good life style should I find myself single. I have children so it’s important to know that I will be ok and can still raise them, give them a home and security

uchihaitachi1237 · 2022-04-30T00:49:33+00:00

Bro you are 30 acting like you are 60. Go live your life, enjoy hobbies, fuck some bitches, play some games for eg Elden ring, the new Assassin's creed and enjoy life my friend. The future is bright.

Matt_Door · 2022-04-29T16:42:58+00:00

Reintegrate with various social circles, have a lot of fun and see what happens.

nick1812216 · 2022-04-29T18:06:29+00:00

My dating life has always been collapsed. Like if a normal dating life is a 3 br house, my dating life has always been a smoldering pile of rubble. So never really had a backup plan, just the original plan: ‘try try try and be ready for rejection’

the-lone-squid · 2022-04-29T20:29:48+00:00

When i dumped my last serious ex gf I realized that was probably my last real shot at a successful relationship..

So I moved into a condo where I have neighbors to hangout with. Being single is fairly common now so there’s more singles areas

Euphemia006 · 2022-04-29T23:13:24+00:00

try some antidepressants

I believe this will be the solution in a near future, for men. Most women claim to happier alone. While a lot of men actually crave a companionship bit cannot get even one. Hope science will help develop meds that can literally erase the needs of men to feel emotions or horniness. This will help men a lot i believe.

withrowsprings · 2022-04-30T00:10:32+00:00

As a divorced man in late 35s, i am looking for some Plan A.

Actually there are no plan(s).

[Eddie Murphy meme]. Don't need a backup plan if you dont have any plans at al..

Effective_Fox · 2022-04-30T00:39:06+00:00

Well I’m a 27 yr old virgin so I’ve already failed so far, it doesn’t really look like much is going to change in the future. I just finished nursing school so maybe I’ll meet more women at work or something but most of the women I meat are taken. My plan is just to focus on my hobbies, save up money, and travel as much as I can. I hope I can just distract myself and keep myself as busy as possible

Exciting-Necessary-5 · 2022-04-30T00:44:32+00:00

What exactly do you mean by "too late" OP?

TP_Crisis_2020 · 2022-04-30T04:26:20+00:00

My plan is to wait until the next crypto bull market so I can pay off my mortgage and then spend the rest of my days restoring and selling old chevy trucks.

humdf · 2022-04-30T07:04:13+00:00

Reading through this answers here makes me depressed.

2022-06-25T12:55:49+00:00

What does “failed” mean. I’ve gotten plenty of experience. No resentment that I’ll likely die alone or live alone for the rest of my life. I’m extremely introverted so I’ll just be using my money towards buying a place and retiring early. Enjoy my own company plus have family and friends. :)

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-04-29T15:49:15+00:00

I'm 30 years old single man, I failed in dating so far, yet to be honest dating was not a priority for me until it was too late.

first, thirty is not too late. plenty of people are still single at that age.

I have hobbies that I'll never have enough time for so if I were to become single they'd fill my time. plus church and friends.

OldStorageUnit · 2022-04-29T17:16:29+00:00

Uhh what bee? Because last time I heard the worker bees that gather pollen were all females. New species?

KurkTheMagnificent · 2022-04-30T01:32:54+00:00

Stop paying taxes to a rigged, corrupt, criminal government that treats men like shit and move to a developing country where women are feminine and traditional, economy is growing not stagnating, etc.

Lysa_Bell · 2022-04-29T16:03:20+00:00

Technically I have my original back up plan from before I met my SO: stay single forever and become a crazy cat lady that grows her own weed. According to this sub at 34 I'm invisible to other people at that age anyway. So 🤷‍♀️

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-04-29T15:53:02+00:00

Nope. I still make enough money to afford living on my own, if needed. That's about it. Dating is not that important to me.

2022-04-29T16:01:27+00:00

Fall back on my piercing certification and finish pursuing tattooing.

SkookumTree · 2022-04-29T16:09:36+00:00

Seek help. Antidepressants like fluoxetine don't usually cause liver damage.

jasonmuhmoa · 2022-04-29T17:42:17+00:00

Having sex or a partner os not guaranteeing happiness but it is essential for happiness. The vast majority ofbmen without it are totally miserable. Some men like mgtow do a good job of dealing with being rejects.

Let me just say that as a 34 year old man who cannot get sex or 4wlationships with my type of woman, life is really boring and unhappy. Inother words, on a happiness scale of 1 to 10, I'm at a 2 or 3 With a woman that I truly desire, it would be a 7. With tons of money and health, a 10.

Spiritual_Age_4992 · 2022-04-29T15:54:20+00:00

I have to ask.

Why is your alternative to not finding a partner suicide? I mean how do you even considered such a thing?

Have never listened to any beautiful music?

Have you never tasted strawberry cheesecake or fresh mangoes?

Have ever been to the Swiss alps?

Have never spent a whole day doing whatever it is that you wanted, even if it was nothing - free!

Do you not make your own money?

Have you never watched a fantastic motion picture that you truly enjoyed?

Have you never held a 2.4 GHz 0.7mm thin, 12.4 inch tablet in your hands - a device our ancestors dreamed of, on which you can almost do anything and talk to anyone in the world?

I too want a woman's love, I too want someone who I can share these things with.

I too want an unicorn, but I know I'm not Chad. And these things you seek are reserved for Chad, and sometimes not even for him.

I want to share all these things with someone, but even without them, I think 1t1heyre pretty great by themselves.

roguish_rogue · 2022-04-29T16:01:48+00:00

30 is pretty young, too early to worry, but you have to evolve and put in the work, god helps those who help themselves, dating at 40+ is a whole different ballgame if you are a somewhat stable, healthy guy who is economically secure and own your own house.

My backup plan would be spending atleast 3 months of every year in Thailand, but I am not single atm.

My advice would be: stay healthy and focus on making $, try to live an interesting life, also hit the gym no excuses.

briiiana1122 · 2022-04-29T16:47:20+00:00

If my relationship ends I’ll just be on my own for a while. I’ll eventually date again but not in a rush.

I was single in my 30s and it was great. Had my career in place, made good money, had good friends around me. It’s not a die alone sentence.

I also would say do a bunch of therapy if you are struggling though. It helps.

thycuprunnethover · 2022-04-29T18:09:12+00:00

First of all, not having a dating life doesn't make you a loser. In today's day and age, it is oftentimes better to remain single. You simply need to live your life and learn to depend on yourself only for happiness and fulfillment. We have bought into the Disney fairytales. The fact is, most people can't be trusted, and if you're not in a good place mentally, even bothering to date is a very bad idea. Most relationships end in a break up and you'll be back to square one.

Barely-moral · 2022-04-29T16:01:32+00:00

Rebuild my dating life. Start the plan again from scratch.

Move to another city. Work in a homeless shelter looking for someone there that has the potential to be miss moral. Vet. Hire a private investigator. Offer her a deal. Offer her the life she wants and could never get on her own. Ask form what I want in return.

TheJim66 · 2022-04-29T16:16:50+00:00

If you mean my GF breaks up with me:I will fuck an ungodly amount of bitches. I'll become a dark cloud of dick that will ensnare the capital and enter every hole and orifice in it. Your churches will not shelter you, holy ground will not stop me. Only becoming fat may spare you from the Dickening.

If you mean I somehow become irreparably unattractive to women:Get hookers, change my life trajectory so I don't have to work much but still get paid enough to fund my entertainment, lose myself in infinite hours of video gaming.

sarkington · 2022-04-29T16:38:26+00:00

Singledom

Groundbreaking, I know

TheEternalGhost · 2022-04-29T20:17:17+00:00

my plan is to try some antidepressants to live by

That's depressing. I think the place you're in right now is very difficult, with more relationship experience you may find that you're happiest when you're single, but you won't know that until you have experienced long-term relationships.

If you're desperate for a relationship you're also more likely to enter into one with a shitty person, which doesn't help.

FatGirlsInPartyHats · 2022-04-29T21:49:49+00:00

30 isn't too late. You just gave up and are feeling sorry for yourself. I was 33 with two kids dating 21 year olds without kids regularly. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and fix it.

daisydaisydaisy12 · 2022-04-30T13:52:33+00:00

How about trying to have a meaningful life? With friends, family, work, charity, kindness, music, vacations and sunshine? Fyi a woman that sees a man doing that will immediately be attracted.

RealNiceLady · 2022-04-29T16:48:31+00:00

Don't do antidepressants. Come on, man, it's not that bad.

Glittering_Ad_1415 · 2022-04-29T21:36:26+00:00

Just bounce from chads dick to chads dick I guess

throwaway164_3 · 2022-04-29T16:51:09+00:00

If my current relationship doesn’t work out and I turn the wrong side of 35, then my backup plan is to find and date an ugly/intelligent woman (if she’ll have me!), as long as she’s incredible in bed. Otherwise, might consider paying for escorts for sex and companionship.

Otherwise, will try to continue staying curious and keep learning new things about the world and new scientific discoveries (e.g. what the James Webb telescope finds, what’s the origin of dark matter, dark energy; can we ever achieve AGI and it’s impact on society, etc) until death puts a permanent end to consciousness.

Karmanger · 2022-04-29T16:12:52+00:00

If my life revolved around getting a partner.....and I had failed that...... I guess If by 50 I thought I'd be forever alone I would just do Cocaine and escorts until death came.

You're 30 though, So at the very least wait until you hit 35 - 40 before you call it quits. It picks up.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-04-29T16:14:58+00:00

Sure, I'll live with family or a close friend and work towards the life goals I was going to do anyway. I won't have one goal met, but there are lots of others.

The_Entertainer217 · 2022-04-29T18:59:31+00:00

Male bees don’t pollinate. All worker bees are female.

To answer your question though I guess you could always move to the Philippines 🤷‍♂️

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-04-29T19:09:11+00:00

If my relationship ends I plan on becoming a single cat lady who pegs male submissives with no commitment on the weekend. The house is in my name so I'll probably get super into home renovations and gardening. Then just hang out with my friends and go on vacation as usual.

Substantial-Toe3879 · 2022-04-29T20:31:24+00:00

You should have a life or a purpose. Like a career you are passionate about or a worthwhile cause or hobby. If your dating life is your purpose it will surely fail. You will become attached then needy and clingy. She will lose attraction and search for a guy who has a life and a purpose besides her. Being too available is not attractive.

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Anti_Thing · 2022-04-29T16:54:37+00:00

I don't know how I would cope TBH. I don't believe in suicide, so I guess I'd just learn to live with it.

If I don't find someone by the time I finish college (next year, God-willing), I think I will move to a different area that hopefully has more suitable women.

ThisBoringLife · 2022-04-29T17:25:22+00:00

Certain cultures do have the elders play matchmaker for their kids.

If traditional dating doesn't work out for me, I assume that's my fallback.

underdaawg · 2022-04-29T17:46:05+00:00

Yes I'm going to be married to my work. Never understood people who said that but now I do.

throwaway316stunner · 2022-04-29T19:48:53+00:00

No backup plan.

smegma_enthusiast · 2022-04-29T20:08:53+00:00

Yes

I have a backup plan for everything.

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-04-29T20:25:10+00:00

I'm pretty happy without a Partner. So my backup plan is what I'm doing now. I would definitely be alot happier with one. Lonely nights can get pretty depressing. But other than that if you have good friends, a reason to get up every morning and finically stable. I think you do just fine. At least I try too.

I use to sit around thinking about it all day. 100% what you shouldn't do.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-04-29T21:22:08+00:00

Sure. If I somehow become paraplegic or something, I'd probably bite the bullet and hire escorts, even though I find it disgusting.

I'm pretty happy alone, but I'm even happier when I'm with someone I'm really in to.

I think I'd be fine emotionally, but the issue would be sexual gratification. Masturbation just doesn't do it for me, and I rarely do it.

SouthernGrass3 · 2022-04-29T21:34:09+00:00

You are way too young to throw in the towel

My backup plan would be to focus on other sources of fulfillment, and to be conscious to limit my exposure to things that could be triggering if I’m in phase of being actively upset about not having a spouse- ex: certain types of media

2022-04-29T22:40:24+00:00

Honestly no, I’m 22f and engaged. I would probably have to move in with my dad for support as I’m not sure that I am even capable of full independence since I’m autistic

Spread-Em-Plz · 2022-04-29T23:57:22+00:00

My plan is to keep doing powerlifting and martial arts as much as possible while maintaining friendships

Chances are if the life I am living has a job as well as hobbies and passions, I won’t be too particularly upset about not having a relationship as I don’t plan on starting a family

Also this is likely not an opinion that will change due to the specific circumstances that form this opinion

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-04-30T00:17:13+00:00

Ya retiring at 50 to the phillipines with a lifetime of savings from not having any kids or wife.

Deranged_Loner · 2022-04-30T00:32:03+00:00

My plan currently is to get a place, work a job I don't hate, and enjoy my hobbies.

Living alone will put the cost down greatly, so that's a plus.

aslanhatessmeagol · 2022-04-30T06:49:11+00:00

I want to be a mum..if not human baby,maybe catto baby.

2022-04-30T09:46:07+00:00

Good question, if im to old to get young woman. Just pay. Sugar babies and escorts.

SnooCats37 · 2022-04-30T09:50:54+00:00

Cat lady

ObviouslyAnAltAct · 2022-04-30T16:16:29+00:00

I've been with the same woman for about 12 years now. If this relationship goes south, and I'm under jo illusions it will last forever (few things do), I'm like 95% sure I will just quit dating forever. I'm not being dramatic either or reacting. But the juice isn't worth the squeeze to try again. Don't get me wrong. I love her dearly and will keep her as long as I can, and I'm not saying relationships are bad. But really, they do provide diminishing returns the longer they go on. And they require a lot of effort and work. Even the best relationships do. And I'm older, and of the age now where women offer almost no value outside of emotional support. I say "women" because that's who I date. If I dated men I would almost surely have the same conclusion.

WeightG0D · 2022-05-01T11:04:25+00:00

I simply stop giving af at this point tbh. It's too much work trying to find a genuine woman and I rather spend my time focusing on my goals and health instead.

mavis_03 · 2022-05-02T00:08:47+00:00

Omg you're 30 years old talking like you're 80. You still have lots of time. I think trying to enjoy other things in life and NOT hyperfocus on women will ironically make you more attractive to them. Women are attracted to men who are engaged in life and comfortable with themselves.

ScrawnyWhiteBoy94 · 2022-05-02T05:37:40+00:00

Do you have any backup plans if your dating life collapses?

Learn computer programming, learn how to code in VR, make a virtual reality girlfriend based on my physical type and personality type, get to know her for a couple years, get married, make VR kids, and live happily ever after with my new family in my VR created home that I created to live out the remainder of my days.

At least until I accidentally lose the charger to my VR set and I lose my sweet VR created wife forever, noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Substantial_Video560 · 2022-05-02T09:39:05+00:00

I'm a mix of introvert and extrovert nowdays. Working in customer service for over ten years made me come out of my shell, speak to people and become more confident.

As we get older many of us will live alone but as long as we have a good friendship network we should be ok.

BIockss · 2022-05-04T03:57:44+00:00

I probably would like to travel. Maybe go to somewhere like Vietnam I really like the food and I think it is considerably cheaper to go there than somewhere like France.

Less-Shape-4421 · 2022-05-15T19:49:42+00:00

Visit escorts/expat lol.

Title	Do you have any backup plans if your dating life collapses?
Author	urukshai
Upvotes	42
Comments	198
Date	April 29, 2022 3:41 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ueopkx/do_you_have_any_backup_plans_if_your_dating_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-have-any-backup-plans-if-your-dating-life.1113882 https://theredarchive.com/post/1113882

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