I know we've all heard it before, that old saying that its a man's job to approach women first. Certainly a masculine manly man will have the BALLS to approach any woman that he might fancy, and if not he is most definitely a big wet PUSSY! Now clearly based on the title I disagree with this notion, but why? Its quite simple really, and I think its something that most people are aware of but conveniently seem to forget or gloss over whenever this topic comes up. Women do in fact approach men first, albeit much less often than men. I think the most obvious example of this is with famous/celebrity men, the stories of thirsty groupies and random women throwing themselves at them have been told for many years, but even outside of that small selection of top tier men, some common men have had similar experiences. I'm sure we all knew that one guy growing up in school or at work or in the friend group who just seemed to have a magic aura about him that made him attract women with relative ease, and even a scrub like myself has had a few girls make bold advances towards me. So with so much evidence to the contrary of this saying, why does it continue to persist to this day?

I believe one of the main reasons is because its a false narrative based on a real premise. Regardless of the examples that I present proving that women will approach and pursue men, these are only a minority of situations. More often than not it will be the man who approaches the women first, but not because its his "job", but simply because he wants her more than she wants him. I believe that who approaches who is based not entirely on gender, but rather ones value. That's why HVM or famous guys are by far the most relentlessly pursued by attractive women, they are a rare valuable prize on the dating market with many options, women simply cannot afford to play coy with these men because of the aggressive competition they are up against in the race to get with a man of high value. Sound familiar lol? It really is funny because dating at the higher levels for men is pretty much a mirror of dating for the average girl but the roles are reversed, not to say that men of value don't pursue or shoot shots, but the women who want them are kind of put in the very same situation as the average man where you have to take action to get what you want. To wrap up my original point, the average women has more value than the average man on the dating market, its undeniable, that is primary reason why men have to be the pursuers so often, but HVM tend to be more valuable than attractive women because the former is a much scarcer resource, therefore the roles are reversed.

This is where the false narrative kicks in. It sounds much sweeter to tell men that the reason we must approach women first is because its our duty, passed down to us from the 7 gods of masculinity, written in the book of balls, this is our destiny. But that's simply not the truth, the reality is that most men have to approach women first because they are not attractive enough to compel women to do it themselves. The ugly truth beneath almost every male initiated approach is that the woman in question was more than willing to let you pass them by had you not said anything, that's how comfortable they are with the options available to them. And don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to convince guys not to approach, but I think the story or narrative surrounding our actions are important, and this one really bothers me. Because when you say things like "Its a mans job to blah blah blah", it undermines the value of being a great man, it completely ignores how badly women want to be with a great guy and the fact that they too will risk humiliation, rejection and a bruised ego just for the opportunity to be with a man that they perceive as being too amazing to pass up. If anything men should approach women because going for what you want is a virtue, but women are not exempt from this, and a lot f them will become the pursuers when they see something they really want bad enough.