Having realistic standards is highly important.

Hard_Corsair · 2022-06-19T03:30:53+00:00

I see a lot of posts here detailing how hard it is for men to date, women only go for super attractive guys etc.

But I notice that most men making this post want super attractive, model-teir women. How is this logical?

Simple; everyone has a really skewed view of what average looks like.

flakybottom · 2022-06-19T04:21:52+00:00

Where are you finding these guys who ONLY want model tier women? I see a lot of guys saying not obese, but that doesn't automatically mean model.

PinkPurpleGreenx · 2022-06-19T10:52:16+00:00

Yeah every single day they come here to complain that their ugly, shot ass has to date obese women to have sex. And how average and above average women are bad because they don’t have lower standards.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2022-06-19T04:31:16+00:00

I think this gets misconstrued and miss understood a lot.

Yes there are guys that say exactly what you said. However there are much more guys to talk about how tons of women have unrealistic standards, which don't necessarily include super hot guy.

The easiest one to explain is when women catch the "ick". Tons of women don't actually know what caused the ick but they just lost all interest in that guy. This is extremely confusing for guys, as now we have to attribute what ever it was that we were doing as to why they lost interest.

Moreover it gets way worse when you talk about when the girl isn't interested. Guys develop interest in lots of women. For me personally, if your base attractive (5,6/10) and your my friend and have a good personality I will be interested, but not because I'm desperate but because you match the basic level of requirements that I need to get to know you on a deeper level.

Most women in the other had refuse to date their friends (unless they are attractive) which is where this misunderstanding can come from.

Guys struggle with getting girls interested in them. This is the root problem because getting them interested in you is just the guys getting to the start line.

Women don't actually know how to help guys, nor are they probably aware of how stick some of their requirements are...

As way too many women have said, the best guys just kind of get it.

Neptune-Jr · 2022-06-19T04:43:48+00:00

But I notice that most men making this post want super attractive, model-teir women.

This is an assumption, men don't need super models to be attracted to a woman. that girl you saw at walmart can be the most gorgeous woman you've ever seen.

techr0nin · 2022-06-19T09:31:28+00:00

I agree that realistic standards is highly important. However I think male standards tend to be far more realistic, simply because men are the ones proactively approaching and bear the brunt of the rejection. It is very easy to calibrate your SMV as a male because the feedback is harsh, immediate, and generally all or nothing.

Female standards on the other hand can be much harder to calibrate. Women generally passively wait for men to approach, and when approached it is difficult to determine whether the intention is purely sexual or more holistic. And even after you are in a sexual relationship, it can be difficult to determine if it is a short term or long term arrangement. All these partial information are more likely to lead to a skewed view of one’s actual SMV.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-06-19T03:25:47+00:00

"Rules for thee, not for me" is pretty common in either direction.

Your standards are only going to be as effective as your willingness to be single rather than make exceptions. I can confidently say that any man who doesn't meet all my standards would make my life worse than if I were single. If someone can't say the same thing, they should reassess.

EDIT: I'll also add that people fail when they begin blaming others for not meeting those standards.

Psybur · 2022-06-19T04:30:20+00:00

Most men don't want model-tier women. Most men would take a feminine, loyal, cooperative, cute, and friendly 6 over a pretty and entitled 9-10. Men don't ask for perfection, we ask for peace. It's women who ask for things that consume resources that aren't spent by the same woman in return. You can't even compare the two without being disingenuous.

FinancialElephant · 2022-06-19T04:17:58+00:00

But I notice that most men making this post want super attractive, model-teir women. How is this logical? I get that people want to be in a relationship in which they are attracted to their partner. But women also want the same. That's why super attractive women go for attractive, successful and well-adjusted guys. What is there to complain about?

Yeah we are living in different realities. I see posts from men that lower their standards to almost nothing and still get no success. When they do that they get told "well you'd fuck anything with a pulse, that doesn't make me feel special. Why would I want to be with someone that would want to be with anyone".

You can't win with women like this because they refuse to see what is right in front of them and insist on making up their own fake alternate realities in their heads. The goal of these wierd fake realities in their head is to be as uncharitable to unsuccessful men as possible. God forbid we criticize women a little.

I will grant you that maybe 13-15 year old boys have unrealistic standards. Then they get rejected constantly and have to lower them. Women don't get this direct feedback and never have to adjust their standards. If you want a guy that is over 6' that excludes 85% of the population: that is pretty unrealistic yet it is a common standard for women.

cowfishAreReal · 2022-06-19T03:55:57+00:00

You don't need realistic standards as long as you're fine being single. If someone says they'll only date people who fly but they're perfectly happy being single and don't blame other people for not flying i see nothing wrong with that.

The problem is having high standards and bitching you can't get people that meet your standards or blaming the opposite gender for it

TheMorningJoe · 2022-06-19T04:26:39+00:00

Me who just doesn’t want to be cheated on for the 4th time in a row: Sure dude lol

Play_Muted · 2022-06-19T03:32:14+00:00

No, I would rather be single and independent.

Know your worth kings, dont drop your standards to accept LVW

AntiFeminismAU · 2022-06-19T05:37:18+00:00

Not true. Men are much more likely to date down. Women only date up.

shonenhikada · 2022-06-19T05:52:33+00:00

I like the dishonest narrative by OP to try and make them equalize. Most men don't want a model tier woman. Men for the minimum just want a female that is his looks match in attractiveness. Aka if you are a 5/10 male then get a 5/10 female. Problem is social media and women thinking what they look like with makeup on is their true self.

Anykindofland · 2022-06-19T06:57:43+00:00

But I notice that most men making this post want super attractive, model-teir women. How is this logical? I get that people want to be in a relationship in which they are attracted to their partner. But women also want the same. That's why super attractive women go for attractive, successful and well-adjusted guys. What is there to complain about?

Everytime I read something like this I can't help but imagine an obese women complaining about that men prefer women within a healthy BMI range. Seriously, every women on this planet can find someone do date, now matter how far she let herself go. Its always men who are getting told to lower their standards while women get told that they deserve the perfect men in every way. Its definitely not the men who have unrealistic exceptions in terms of a potential partner.

Most dating problems would be solved if men start having realistic expectations.

Most dating problems would be solved if men start to reject more women.

barbodelli · 2022-06-19T03:29:08+00:00

Having unrealistic standards is a common symptom of living a secluded lifestyle. That is why it's so prevalent in society today. This affects both women and men equally. But it creates slightly different outcomes. Men end up with nothing while women end up getting tricked by attractive men into believing they actually want a relationship and not just sex.

TP_Crisis_2020 · 2022-06-19T07:52:00+00:00

But I notice that most men making this post want super attractive, model-teir women. How is this logical?

You aren't seeing this IRL. I have a feeling that this is something you have constructed in your own mind.

If not, got some examples to show? If it's so common it should be easy to find a few examples.

whitemonster_enjoyer · 2022-06-19T08:49:57+00:00

"men only want stacy"

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-06-19T11:44:30+00:00

Im a fit guy. Id like to date a fit girl, not super.model. But all I've been able to date is obese women.

Spiritual_Age_4992 · 2022-06-19T11:47:36+00:00

But I notice that most men making this post want super attractive, model-teir women.

& how exactly are you reaching this conclusion?

Can you link to some comments where the men saying how hard dating is for them, say so?

Sound like you're just spewing vague radfem talking points.

You're being so utterly dishonest I wonder if you realize it.

bitchbuster69 · 2022-06-19T12:01:16+00:00

Most dating problems would be solved if men start having realistic expectations

Oh my gawd 😹.

Fit-Faithlessness149 · 2022-06-19T12:01:54+00:00

You're flat out wrong. Most guys don't look for model looks as that can be intimidating and brings a host of problems. Hell I don't mind chubby girls.

-angels-fan- · 2022-06-19T15:17:21+00:00

ForeverAloneWomen had to make it a rule that men couldn't DM the women there because the women were getting so many messages from men wanting to date them.

This idea that all men are looking for models is pure projection from women because women are all looking for models, so they naturally assume all men are as well.

Intsellektuaal · 2022-06-19T06:29:05+00:00

Mmm, in my experience most men would settle for anything tbh or at least would be fine with a looksmatch or couple points below.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-06-19T07:00:22+00:00

What is there to complain about

TRP is the first place that tell’s you; this is the reality.

attractive, successful and well adjusted guys

Sounds familiar. Almost like if you’re advised to get jacked, get paid, and hone your social skills; attractive women will go for it. Not unreasonable, nor unrealistic.

Godspeed and good luck!

EnteFetz · 2022-06-19T13:00:34+00:00

I (M27) hooked up with a 39 year old woman yesterday, because I don't have any standards. She let me smash, so I went for it. I never say no to women.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-06-19T13:34:26+00:00

It's generally accepted that men find women more generally attractive, rating them on a bell curve for attractiveness, while women rate men on a curve heavily skewed to one side, with the greater majority of men being unattractive.

I agree OkC is a propaganda machine for itself but this has been replicated elsewhere and the same distributions occurred.

You will find some men here who want living anime girls, but I daresay most are more realistic.

anon-sucks · 2022-06-19T14:35:28+00:00

The number of men that will right swipe anything for pussy seriously skews the data by implying we find those women attractive. It does not. He knows he’s right swiping ugly in the hopes of getting laid.

That being said, men will settle on looks for a good personality and a supportive woman.

DreysunTheOne · 2022-06-19T15:51:06+00:00

I don't want a model tier woman, as long as she isn't insanely overweight and has an ok ass I'm more attracted to behavior than the body.

no point dating a model tier woman who is insufferable, no point dating a 10 if her personality is a fucking 2.

smart but not argumentative.

easy going, has her own hobbies and friends so I don't have to be Cedric the entertainer every fucking night.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-06-19T19:56:28+00:00

But I notice that most men making this post want super attractive, model-teir women. How is this logical?

Ugh this is such bullshit and untrue, I don't know why people keep peddling this non-sense. The average guy just wants a girl who's somewhat cute and down to earth, they aren't looking for literal models.

NelsonManswella · 2022-06-19T22:40:46+00:00

no. we don’t. AVERAGE men want AVERAGE women.

i realistically know that SZA or Kali Uchis would never give me the time of day.

I realistically know super attractive women that i see when i go out would never give me the time of day.

I don’t know why folks keep peddling this narrative that Kyle Mooney looking dudes are DEMANDING a Blake Lively lookalike.

they’re not lol

PhilosopherHistorian · 2022-06-20T18:45:15+00:00

Most men don’t want “super attractive model-tier women”. If that was the requirement for most men, a lot more of us would be incels. We can’t afford to be that selective like many women can, and a lot of us don’t really care to be. If anything, the lot of us have basic requirements such as “don’t be fat”. If that’s an “unrealistic” standard, then idk what to say.

coastFI_chaser · 2022-06-19T04:05:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

DizzyReplacement44 · 2022-06-19T05:40:29+00:00

I just find a lot of women to be unappealing physically. I'd estimate more than half the women around my age where I live are not sexually attractive.

They're probably my league honestly, but I simply just can't be with someone I'm unattracted to. I'd rather remain single and occasionally spend some time with prostitutes where the hobby is legal.

TryLambda · 2022-06-19T07:15:13+00:00

Colette..... your statements are a projection........ if you want accuracy about how men feel about women and their standards.... google or look up the accurate joke..."The Husband Store""

Habil13 · 2022-06-19T12:03:50+00:00

men want modeltier women

Lololol. Men take part in assortative mating. They try to date their looks-match. Women are the ones who think they deserve more than what they are getting.

Aliebaba99 · 2022-06-19T13:17:49+00:00

Honestly, since I stopped watching porn and I try not to look at very attractive women on the internet in general (think insta models, clickbait yt vids etc) i feel like this becomes less of an issue. Definitely agree with OP's sentiment.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-06-19T12:58:07+00:00

I think It's just the guys here. The overwhelming majority of men I know are in relationships or married.

glowup6168 · 2022-06-19T13:20:49+00:00

I agree. Guys think a in real life 10 is a 5 due to there view being skewed due to porn and social media. At some point guys need to look inward and think maybe there lack of relationships is due to them and not every female.

Zerofication · 2022-06-19T09:50:17+00:00

Most dating problems would be solved if men start having realistic expectations

I disagree, men neither have hypergamy nor an amplified hypergamy, but modern women have both.

AelfredRex · 2022-06-19T13:17:03+00:00

But she has to be perfect or he can't make the world jealous. It's not about having a solid successful relationship, it's about his image, his ego, his status. Him, him, him.

All you can expect from guys obsessed with looks, status, and money.

caption291 · 2022-06-19T23:58:50+00:00

Obviously everyone wants the best. The difference is that men don't ONLY want the best.

Hell, today someone posted a bunch of average women as a gotcha to show that men don't want them.
I found them decently attractive and most men seemed to agree. Maybe you're only looking at a certain kind of men or ignoring any man that doesn't say what you want them to say.

eye_fuck · 2022-06-19T07:32:20+00:00

Just no

rain243 · 2022-06-21T06:24:17+00:00

But I notice that most men making this post want super attractive, model-teir women

lol where? most men just want a woman who's loyal and not fat. those aren't unrealistic standards.

hyperlinktoZelda_v2 · 2022-06-19T03:47:25+00:00

I think that goes both way.

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TigerRude4 · 2022-06-19T07:34:13+00:00

I just want a relatively attractive woman with similar values with some interesting hobbies (so Instagram scrolling and Netflix doesn't count) and with personality that we can 'click' with each other.

ruboyuri · 2022-06-19T15:54:03+00:00

Most people do

The unhappy ones often do not

sarkington · 2022-06-19T16:53:43+00:00

Only if you want a guarantee

Some people are fine shooting for the moon and failing a lot

It’s when you bitch and moan about it that people get annoyed

SmakeTalk · 2022-06-20T03:22:26+00:00

I think you nailed it, although I think bringing up "standards" is tricky, especially on Reddit.

Too many men see "lowering their standards" as this horribly negative approach to dating where they need to date someone they aren't attracted to at all. What more men really need to do is try exploring the horizons of their sexuality and what attracts them to women.

If someone doesn't have much experience in dating this is especially crucial, since their expectations and standards have been set mostly by media.

sse23 · 2022-06-20T09:24:39+00:00

Most men might think they are average in the eyes of women, but they are not. Funnilly enough they often say they just want a cute 6 over a model 8-9.

But that is not being realistic. If you are a truly average guy or slightly below, going for a 6 is not being realistic. This goes for women aswell. I think social media has a strong influence in making both sexes very unrealistic, in terms of the kind of partner they can get. This in turn leads to disapoinment after disapoinment.

You will never get a perfect partner that checks all the boxes of requirements you have in your head. And once you accept that you will start having more succes and much more healthy relationships.

divingrose77101 · 2022-06-20T10:52:58+00:00

The only way to avoid disappointment in life is by having realistic expectations. This is true in every facet of life.

Environmental_Ear106 · 2022-06-20T12:59:39+00:00

A week ago I would say you were lying but after going out with my family and having my brother call an 8 a solid 6 I would say so though she was taller then him. Also, though I have lowered my standards and it can get bad if you and your partner aren’t on equal footing. Especially when the person is very insecure cause they would rather bring you down then actually date you sometimes.

midwesternMD · 2022-06-20T19:49:08+00:00

My impression hasn’t been that the men here want model-like women. Hell, I personally have 3 requirements: age <32, no single mothers, not obese. 6 requirements if you include no smokers, no addiction histories, and no cheaters, but I think those last two are fairly standard nowadays. And it’s hard to filter for those things before you match with someone.

I don’t think it’s men who have the unrealistic expectations. Certainly I don’t feel that my expectations are unrealistic. Even if my expectations are unrealistic, they are bare bones enough, and I am awesome enough, that I’m not interested in dating a woman who feels to meet them.

If suddenly the entire population of single women became obese, I would simply bow out of dating entirely. I know what it’s like having sex with an overweight/probably obese woman. It is not an experience I care to repeat.

That said: I’m okay with the possibility of not meeting anyone worth marrying.

Title	Having realistic standards is highly important.
Author	Depressedcolette
Upvotes	57
Comments	286
Date	June 19, 2022 3:23 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vfm65r/having_realistic_standards_is_highly_important/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/having-realistic-standards-is-highly-important.1120912 https://theredarchive.com/post/1120912

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