Dating and biology - why women don't want men/relationships anymore

wtknight · 2023-02-20T18:36:33+00:00

Flaired CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim

DumbWordsmith · 2023-02-20T17:39:21+00:00

The title is BS. Less than 20% of American women between 30 and 49 are single, and only about a third of women between 18 and 29 are single. For whatever reason, most fertile women still want to have relationships with men.

CimZim · 2023-02-20T17:15:44+00:00

There's a few parts of this I agree with, but overall it really makes it sound as if you think gifts for the woman = sexual access for the man, and I can't sign off on that level of materialistic ickiness.

I don't want to have sex with my guy because he gave me a chocolate bar last week, I want to have sex with him because I like him as a person and he has amazing dick prowess.

h1shman · 2023-02-20T17:46:51+00:00

That was a really autistic (edit* neurodivergent) way of explaining the concept of “the little things”

When you get up for a drink, bring her back one. When she gets home and looks upset ask her if she wants her feet rubbed while you watch Netflix. You do this because an actual relationship is one where you enjoy making each other happy. Not a transaction for sex

JavooFire · 2023-02-20T17:49:14+00:00

Bruh why do I have to take the role of her father and give her the princess treatment when she won't take the role of mommy prince treatment.

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-02-20T17:17:53+00:00

Biologically men and women didn’t “get in” relationships.

We just had them, we have to many rules about what a relationship is now

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2023-02-20T18:21:13+00:00

So in summary, men need to step up to the plate and do things women want, but shouldn't expect the same treatment in return? How enticing.

INFPneedshelp · 2023-02-20T19:11:59+00:00

https://ucalgary.ca/news/women-were-successful-big-game-hunters-challenging-beliefs-about-ancient-gender-roles women provided a lot!!

LotBuilder · 2023-02-20T23:55:30+00:00

Women still want to date, and marry, just on their terms. Men don’t really like those terms. Marriage is not overly appealing to either side at this point.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-02-20T18:51:46+00:00

You need to show that you value this woman and you need to do it with a 'token' that shows you think of her needs. Does she like a certain kind of snack? Buy her some and give it to her "just because I thought of you". Such a token of love will be rewarded with love. If you never bring her anything that tells her that you don't love or value her. If in doubt look at the "secure the bag" and "take her shopping" culture - it's all about bringing trinkets to get sex.

You started off strong and then ran headfirst into a wall at the end. I don't need trinkets to have sex with my husband, I'm not a crow. Bringing a super shiny pebble works with penguins, it won't work with me. I agree with the other stuff you said tho.

Little gifts like some chocolate or something are nice and they do show that you are thinking about your partner. But a small gift isn't going to save your marriage or make your partner sleep with you if everything else is in shambles. These small gifts are like sprinkles on a cake, and if you put them on a turd, it isn't going to magically change into a proper cake. These little things don't need to cost you money. Pick her a flower in the park, get her a cup of tea or coffee in the morning, if you get a snack get her some too, or at least ask if she wants anything. You are correct that showing your partner you are aware and care about their needs is very important, but those needs might not involve small gifts, but actions like doing the vacuuming or the dishes more often.

I also think people don't want relationships because dating can be draining. It may take you a while to find someone you would want something more with and even then, things can fuck up because you either turn out to not be compatible or life gets in the way (somebody moves, somebody gets very sick, other issues). And everyone has dated at least one asshole that has left a bad taste in their mouth. It can be a drag and sometimes people just say ''fuck it'' and give themselves a break from dating.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-02-20T19:40:14+00:00

I think this focuses too much on gifts and the exchanging them for sex part is creepy, but there are some good points. Especially “unlovable because they show no love.” Men got used to women needing them, and many don’t want to do anything to make women want them. “But Chaaaad doesn’t have to do all that to get a woman!” Yeah, and supermodels don’t have to do shit to have men lining up to impress them, attractive people get special privileges, life isn’t fair. Besides, even attractive people have to show affection and care for their partner if they want a genuine, healthy relationship.

Which brings me to my next point, which is that many of these men complaining about “male loneliness,” really don’t want a relationship. The only lonely thing is their pickle rick, and they aren’t interested in the company of just one woman, or at least not their looks match or someone their own age. The goalpost tends to keep moving whenever I talk to these “lonely” men.

HomelessMunster · 2023-02-20T20:58:24+00:00

Women do want relationships/men, virtually all the girls I know are in relationships. Those that aren't are often looking. What the heck are people smoking as of late?

Barely-moral · 2023-02-20T17:24:57+00:00

Because men are not giving women what they want.

So far I agree. It is a trade. You need to trade what women want to trade for.

Guys, do not expect any woman to provide to you the services that your mother did. I know I don't have to say this but based on apparent expectations and entitlement it obviously needs to be said.

Sounds like an unacceptable trade. The things women want me to do and become in order to be a potential partner cost a lot of time, effort and pain. If we remove "services that my mother did" from the table all a woman can offer to me is sex and displays of affection. I want those but if she offers only those then she is not bringing enough value for me to want to trade the results of my time, effort and pain.

For some reason many men expect their wives/girlfriends to take over the care role from their mother.

Because I value those services and if a woman wants the benefit I bring she will have to bring the benefits I want to the table.

Dude, you were a child then, you are an adult now

The only difference between child me and adult me is that I have to pay for what I want now. What I want is pretty much the same.

just like this woman.

Since she is an adult, and she wants things from me she can trade by giving me what I want.

A household takes TWO people who CONTRIBUTE EQUITABLY.

Not really. I can contribute all that is needed to keep a household. I do.

If you are paid more that does not mean she should do more around the house

Since I do pay for a lifestyle my partner could never ever aford by herself or with the help of any other man interested in her she will pay me with whatever service I want or she loses her only chance to get that lifestyle.

if you think that you clearly place a monetary value on her instead of seeing her as a partner.

I can do both at the same time.

She should not be punished for lower pay by a man who expects her to 'make it up' with more low-valued work.

It is not punishment. It is trade.

geometersbane · 2023-02-20T18:24:04+00:00

LOL. Most women ain't shit and they expect to be treated like goddesses. Fucking cringe.

Round-Relative-7859 · 2023-02-20T17:47:20+00:00

Men used to go out and hunt and bring back what they found. Women guarded the house. MEN HAVE STOPPED BRINGING HOME LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE HER HAPPY.

It doesn't have to be much. IN THIS CASE THE THOUGHT COUNTS.

Thanks for admitting women only want men to pull resources from them. Sadly, they got a way to make the government pay for their trash, and 80% of taxes are paid by men. Glad men are stopping working so slowly you can see how fast food gets slower and slower and women fill those jobs.

Of course, women need to announce they are happier than ever even when being top users of psychiatric pills prove they are not as happy as they claim.

red__hulk · 2023-02-20T18:22:21+00:00

Yes men are not giving women what they want. Men are using women for what they want from them which is the only important thing.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-02-20T20:17:53+00:00

It's a generational and cultural thing too though not some innate biology.

Younger millennials and zoomers for example are not as interested in material gifts, and instead would much rather go on a date that has no trinkets and instead is a shared experience like a performance, or a small vacation/road trip.

We're being blamed for ruining the fine dining setting, wedding, and diamond industries because even those who do want to marry aren't as interested in these trinkets.

Plenty of us just don't really like gifts in most cases, particularly not early on in a relationship; someone like me rarely will accept them regardless except in certain circumstances.

My lust is there for him, not there for a trinket he might try to give me.

KochiraJin · 2023-02-20T22:46:14+00:00

Guys, do not expect any woman to provide to you the services that your mother did. I know I don't have to say this but based on apparent expectations and entitlement it obviously needs to be said.

The point of marriage is to provide a good environment to raise children. Is it wrong to expect your wife to be the mother of your children?

Dstar538888 · 2023-02-21T02:27:02+00:00

I have some friends who were just complaining to me about how their boyfriends do absolutely nothing for them when it's their birthday or valentines day...not even some walmart flowers or dollar store candy...nothing at all...it's beyond thoughtless and lazy and guys like that deserve to be single in my opinion...

statsfodder · 2023-02-21T02:58:41+00:00

Seems FDS is leaking again...

Typical misandrist - No responsibility or accountability for women - men are trash - all men's fault - post

3/10

bringbackbielsa · 2023-02-21T20:03:19+00:00

Because men are not giving women what they want.

Men are forced to give women what they want. It's mandated by society. Labour, protection and resources are provided to all women gratis. Name something that a woman requires of a man that she can't easily access or have provided to her. Men pay the vast majority of taxes, men do 95% of physically arduous and essential jobs and protective jobs. Look around you. Practically everything you use is made and maintained by a man.

While, contrarily, what men need from women (namely sex and reproduction) they cannot access in any way. Consequently, women have all the power and men have nothing to trade with. As you point out, women now make almost as much money as men (I say "make", half of it is forcibly taken from men).

Men are mad that women have the economic means to feed themselves because that makes men feel worthless, they don't understand that her success is their success and together they're stronger and that his little tokens of love are enough.

Lol. Most women don't want or respect a man who makes less than them. Women are born consumers. Shopping is their chief pleasure.

A household takes TWO people who CONTRIBUTE EQUITABLY. If you are paid more that does not mean she should do more around the house, if you think that you clearly place a monetary value on her instead of seeing her as a partner. She should not be punished for lower pay by a man who expects her to 'make it up' with more low-valued work.

Lmao. Jesus Christ.

_here_ok · 2023-02-21T23:56:52+00:00

way i see it it's none of this. simply put woman are just having varying standards and there isn't as much of a mold that men can satisfy while in turn men are stagnant because they are still trying to satisfy a previous held mold. men need to make their unique qualities known instead of fitting a one track mold. they just need to adapt.

UneastAji · 2023-02-20T17:43:48+00:00

You see men building all these things in order for everything to be more easily accessible to everyone, and you see women distancing themselves from men as a result of everything being accessible, and you think somehow that it's men who stopped doing their job...??.?.?

Right formula, wrong answer.

Guys, do not expect any woman to provide to you the services that your mother did.

When "men hunted and women guarded the house", women used to provide to you the services that your mother did. We can summarize it as "men do things women do social" even though both had intertwined duties.

So you start off this thread as "men used to do this and no longer do" and then proceed with "women used to do this but don't dare to expect them to continue".

I'm not making more effort for this obvious hypocritical "men bad" post.

lolthankstinder · 2023-02-20T19:45:23+00:00

What does this have to do with biology? Are you saying women have evolved to require men to fetch them snacks and remember their friends’ birthdays?

That’s an awful lot of text just to say women like to feel appreciated. There are many different forms of appreciation that people like to receive including gifts, affirmation, touch, acts of service, and quality time. Successful relationships normally involve ensuring both people feel appreciated, not just the woman.

However, it is definitely possible for someone to think too highly of themselves such that they demand more than they’re actually “worth”. This is a major cause of the disconnect nowadays. If you simplify everyone’s desirability to a number 1-10, there are tons of 4-7 women nowadays that want a 7-10 guy, but there aren’t enough 7-10 guys for every woman that wants one. The 4-7 women would rather be single than just date another 4-7 guy. They might say that men need to “improve” but these “areas of improvement” don’t really align with a lot of the physical filters women tend to employ in dating. It’s pretty clear that a lot of women just self-assess themselves too highly and keep having negative experiences with men out of their league that don’t want to be with them long term.

Safinated · 2023-02-20T17:46:56+00:00

“Anymore”

I would dispute that they ever did

SwaySh0t · 2023-02-20T21:06:54+00:00

This reads a lot like: “Master give Dobby a sock?”

Grapestheanswer · 2023-02-20T17:31:45+00:00

used to

Women used to be virgins at marriage (or at least much closer to that than they are now)

Women used to cook and clean without complaint

Women used to fuck on command

Women used to look tbs other way at their man's infidelities

Used to? Fuck outta here with used to

14ers4days · 2023-02-20T18:06:39+00:00

[ Removed by Reddit ]

Teflon08191 · 2023-02-20T19:28:06+00:00

Because men are not giving women what they want.

"What women want" (in the context of your post) is archaic and hypocritical. Why would a man care to uphold his side of the bargain when women have abandoned the prospect of upholding theirs?

It seems to me women are having just as much difficulty adapting to the prospect of "equality" as men supposedly are.

daddysgotanew · 2023-02-20T20:45:06+00:00

Women are desperate for sex/relationships. But only with men far out of their league

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Khanluka · 2023-02-20T23:23:26+00:00

So i do most of the things you say i do during dating never had a real girlfriend just long dating phase. When i have idea i genereel ask coworkers that are woman for advice. Or help sometime. And so many of them are surprise it still densest work.

1 i was dating a girl ones as we where shopping at ikea and made her laugh with voicing a stuff animal went back the other day to buy it for her as a gift. cause she had a very lovely smile.

2 i learn to bake a applepie for somebody birthday cause that was her favorite

3 Every woman i every dated when i bring them to my apartment is super surprised how clean everything is.

4 The only place i am disrespectful to people is on the internet for clear reason. or when they treat me with out respect.

5 I have never talked about my own hobby longer then 3 min while dating a woman. And it comes down to explain what it is and then i am done. While i learn the rules of chess surfing and map reading while lesion and asking about some else hobby's and much more and yes i remember what they say and asked. hell one time a girl told me about a strange dream she had with a new hair style. 2 months later she change her hair and i asked if this was what she had in her dream. and she forgot about it but it really was that hair style.

Now many woman that are girlfriends of friends or coworkers or family members are surprise this dint none of those work out. In my opion it densest work out cause i am the worst possible thing a man can be. And that is boring. Woman like dating me for 5/10 dates and then they get bored cause i am me. and they break it off. Why some stay with assholes for serival years simple his not boring. And yes even boring woman don't want a boring man

WilliamWyattD · 2023-02-20T23:35:32+00:00

There's some truth here, but how common the 'second shift' problem is remains hard to determine statistically.

If there is a mating problem, it is primarily due to women lacking sufficient attraction to a wide enough assortment of men. Whether that is because women's standards have gone up, or men are less attractive, or women have always been this selective but had to compromise in the past, is hard to say.

In general, if a woman is attracted to a man and he wants a relationship, so will he.

despisedlove2 · 2023-02-21T02:56:18+00:00

BS.

None of that is relevant for a woman looking to cash out.

uglysaladisugly · 2023-02-21T08:41:57+00:00

Are you a biologist or did you just watch The Flinston?

Netheral · 2023-02-21T10:34:39+00:00

didn't do anything for Valentines day. Such a guy deserves to be single.

"You don't subscribe* to arbitrarily decided dates to show affection, pushed by corporations to sell consumer junk. Therefore you are unlovable."

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-02-21T12:32:20+00:00

I think we've grown apart. Perhaps now is the time for rhe sexes to go their seperate ways. With the advancements of technologies like A.I and VR both sexes will get their needs meet without any social interaction at all.

Notsonewguy7 · 2023-02-21T18:21:18+00:00

It's so simple I said this I don't know how many times here the relationship between men and women is based around two basic concepts necessity and novelty.

If the necessity decreases will disappears then it becomes wholly a factor of novelty or desire or a whim.

The majority of people independent of sex or race or age are boring and forgettable so they do not really have a novel Factor so that means for a large portion of people they are not novel a small portion of people are novel they're very beautiful they're very gifted they're very talented or they belong to a cultural or ethnic group that is viewed in a positive light given a particular cultural relevance to a artistic or other field.

The last 20 years we've seen this result for women become more heightened and become more outspoken but we have also been noticing a rise in other movements now these movements have been mostly focused at least with men in I guess some of the red pill manosphere communities as complainers but there's another segment of it which I think goes deeply ignored which are actually speaking about it in an affirmative and positive sort of liberating perspective for men there's no clear name for this movement yet but it's visible and my observations I think that this movement is going to gain more traction than the red pill with the sort of attempt to convince me to still participate in the sexual marketplace as we understand it.

Chemical_Major_1403 · 2023-02-21T19:42:35+00:00

He said it take to for the household to work the continue to tell men to do things that women never do😂😂😂

Pretty_Raccoon_4185 · 2023-02-21T21:07:46+00:00

I am not mad that women have economic means like you suggest but very happy. I wish they would split the bill when we go on dates.

SoldierExcelsior · 2023-02-22T03:31:09+00:00

Wrong..women want dating and relationships they just want it with men that don't want them...

All the things you named do you really think some HV Chad that has women throwing themselves at him and a busy schedule is going to be bothered to do thay stuff...he wont he doesn't have to.

Women aren't dating because the men they want are willing to play their games...

And women are finding out the men they would settle for aren't willing to play their games

Imagine some 38 year old single mom expecting gifts when a man comes home her gift is the lights are on the fridge has food and the oven works she should be using it.

Ok-Protection901 · 2023-02-23T02:54:44+00:00

A lot of this just seems like common sense tbh.

Dating and biology - why women don't want men/relationships anymore

I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE AN OPINION AND MAKE A POST JUST LIKE ANY ONE OF YOU. Deal with your feelings.

Comments

Title	Dating and biology - why women don't want men/relationships anymore
Author	Academic_Snow_7680
Upvotes	15
Comments	234
Date	February 20, 2023 5:03 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/117dxtn/dating_and_biology_why_women_dont_want/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-and-biology-why-women-dont-want.1153136 https://theredarchive.com/post/1153136