What portion of men are actually loathsome slimy creepy scumbags in your experience?

sweetbrown89 · 2023-10-14T05:46:18+00:00

Probably like 15%, but they’re FAR more likely to approach

That’s why you hear about it a lot

Cool_Relative7359 · 2023-10-14T13:02:44+00:00

but perhaps the portion of genuinely well meaning guys who put other people’s well-being ahead of their gratification, operate with empathy and tact, manage their emotions and take accountability for their actions are more of an enclave than a silent majority. Or not.

What do you think?

I'd say the truly decent men, (by my standards anyway) are around 20%. 60% are average and okay with the status quo as it is. But that's not automatically decent or good. Just neutral. And around 20% are just plain dangerous either emotionally or physically.

EastSideSlasha · 2023-10-14T03:46:24+00:00

I think it’s a large amount, and it’s something I noticed even more as I got older. I used to have lots of fun at clubs when I first started going and I asked this girl why she didn’t like to go and she would say because guys there are creepy and grope you. So one night I went sober and really just observed the room and saw so much creepy sexual harassment it was crazy. When I also think back to being a kid a lot of sexual harassment was normalized, for example “national smack ass day” when middle school boys would go around just what is considered sexual assaulting girls at such a young age. I completely understand why women are on guard dealing with the average man and I think more men should be understanding of that

Dry-Cricket3524 · 2023-10-14T05:38:39+00:00

Sadly I've met more improper men than proper.

The sad thing is that, these men are lonely. And the fact that they're so outwardly sexual will only make them more lonely. This kind of behaviour is just a human repeller.

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-10-14T02:19:57+00:00

Within their own age group it’s probably 15% at least that’s what college SA stats seem to say. Among all men it’s probably less than 15% but couldn’t say for sure. Anywhere from 5-15% probably. This includes groping and verbal harassment. For full on SA/rape, it’s probably 3-5%

Edit: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26168230/

“Across samples, 178 of 1642 participants (10.8%) reported having perpetrated at least 1 rape from 14 years of age through the end of college.”

MyLastBestChance · 2023-10-14T02:08:02+00:00

Depending on their risk of accountability for that behavior? Between 25 and 40%.

Some are that way regardless, the rest are opportunistic and pretend to be upstanding citizens when they perceive the risk of exposure/ consequences to be too high.

James_Cruse · 2023-10-14T08:07:49+00:00

Firstly, I’m certain that this event happened in America - it doesn’t happen like this anywhere else that I’ve ever been to.

How do I know this? I’ve met several reasonably attractive american women that have come to Australia (where I live) and they are very suprised (for months) that men rarely, if ever, approach them. And the rare times they get approached, it’s very mildly expressed interest.

They tell me that in America, they get approached everywhere.

Secondly, many men often don’t approach very attractive women regularly because they think they’ll be rejected.

Most men, from what I’ve seen, approach average women because those men think they have a better likelihood of easy sex.

Most men don’t have any seduction skills - so they just want the easiest lay they can find, without expending too much energy or time with the small to no skills they have = going for average/below average or whatever girl is “very approachable” to them.

John_Oakman · 2023-10-14T03:00:52+00:00

All the relevant men, because modern masculinity is predicated upon those heinous traits. The males who aren't had their man cards revoked long ago and more relevantly aren't visible (i.e. not violating social norms like the pacified productive members of society that they are).

The additional question is what can the rest of the inoffensive males do to mitigate the damages caused by those men?

AngeCruelle · 2023-10-14T03:11:57+00:00

Ime, that type of sober, broad daylight harassment of strangers is most common from men who are conventionally attractive and know it. They think they are a gift to all women and it creates an enormous sense of entitlement.

Creeps who are more average or below are more careful about it. They prefer to operate without an audience. And if there is an audience, they're all about plausible deniability ("she's so sensitive, it was just a joke") and excuses. I've heard one too many "we invited X to go out drinking with us because he seemed shy and harmless and he then proceeded to strip and asked every girl within a 2-mile radius to suck his dick" stories.

Rogue5454 · 2023-10-14T08:57:20+00:00

This is literally why women get so heated in debates. Men cannot speak to what we go through on a daily basis due to men. They have no idea what it’s like. Yes; it has zero to do with looks & everything with feeling entitled. They think they’re entitled to our attention & to give us their unsolicited opinions.

Mortuaries don’t like hiring men because they literally will fuck corpses ffs.

Moon-on-my-mind · 2023-10-14T05:03:01+00:00

My lifetime experience and people watching? My opinion is at 80%. If i include this sub, then 95%.

Msbroberts · 2023-10-14T16:15:38+00:00

I just retired from retail management. Not only am I older, but overweight, I wear a wedding ring (am married) and I got ‘hit on‘ almost every day, sometimes in vulgar fashion. I think being older and in a more authoritative role, I shut them down pretty quickly and easily.

For my younger female associates it was much worse. I got called over to help defuse situations at least 10 times a week, for customers. I had two promising associates quit because they couldn’t take it anymore. For employees, I had to coach 5 in the last two years that responded well and an additional 3 that I had to turn over to HR. Two were terminated and one was transferred.

In my option, it is getting worse. I am legitimately worried for teen daughter and try to arm her with awareness and skills while trying to maintain a balance to be vigilant, but not judge everyone by the scum bags. It’s hard, frustrating, and mentally & emotionally draining.

Pola_Lita · 2023-10-14T02:44:22+00:00

I almost instinctively blurted out “damn if that’s happening to you I can’t imagine how much unwanted attention sexy women are receiving” but luckily caught myself and had a discussion about her experiences and that of her friends.

If you're saying your instinct is to evaluate women first by how attractive they are it would be a good first step toward understanding why even regular men can be so creepy.

Obviously there isn’t some binary distinction between decent people and deranged deadbeats...

The distinction is that one sex is raised to control and repress their sexuality while the other is taught that their gratification is priority and mainly the other sex's job.

It's probably 100x better than it was, though. Think of the 1950s.

globeaute · 2023-10-14T09:34:28+00:00

9/10. I am no longer as friendly or welcoming to almost all straight men that I encounter— known or unknown. And looks have little to do with how vile and filthy most men are. It’s about power.

_Bene_Gesserit_Witch · 2023-10-14T06:53:02+00:00

In my personal experience maybe like 10% or even less are sleazy. But I do have friends who seem to be magnets for them and all the creeps are brought out of the woodwork everywhere they go. They would give you a much higher percentage.

Safinated · 2023-10-14T07:01:50+00:00

IMO a minority of men are active assholes or creeps.

But a majority are horny opportunists. This is due to experiences with men that I thought I or other women could trust, and is logical when you consider the male libido

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-10-14T17:57:08+00:00

I’ve always assumed it was a fractional minority of sociopathic stalkers and abusive scumbags and opportunistic creeps that cast a large shadow because as it happens negative events eclipse positive experiences in our minds, but perhaps there’s far more of these degenerates among us than I first thought.

The sociopathic stalker and abusive creep demographic is pretty small, imo. However, you have a larger demographic of relatively benign but still obnoxious dudes who treat their interactions with women like it's a debate and they're trying their damn hardest to turn that ''no'' into a ''yes'' or they act like absolute babies when rejected. I've had this general interaction with slight variations happen so many times:

Guy: Hey, wanna dance/can I buy you a drink/can I have your phone number or snap or insta or whatever?
Me: Sorry, not interested.
Guy: Aw, come on. Why?
Me: I'm not interested.
Guy: Yeah but why tho?
Me: I have a boyfriend/I'm married.
Guy: Well, your bf/husband isn't here/doesn't have to know.

Or they just resort to calling you a whore/bitch/slut if you tell them you're already dating someone.

I had one guy and his friend hound me for my Wechat in the subway and I gave it to him to get him off my back, I didn't want this guy following me around. Dude contacted me later, I told him I wasn't interested and he started playing the victim card - Oh, well why did you give me your wechat if you weren't interested, you were just leading me on, you're turning me down cause I'm black, right, all you white women are the same, etc.

Not to say that every single interaction with guys hitting on me in public has been bad, most of them were perfectly decent dudes who took ''no'' for an answer and left me alone. I don't think I can give an exact number for the percentage or genuinely creepy stalkers, the decent dudes, and the just obnoxious but I think there are a lot of men (and women but we're talking about men here) who suck at taking rejection and will at the very least be annoying. I think that's the biggest portion of bad experiences women have, the truly awful and violent guys seem to be a relatively small number in comparison to the whiny guys.

RelationshipSalty369 · 2023-10-14T20:32:10+00:00

Unfortunately, a lot more than people would think. About 25-50%.

AloneOnTheStrange · 2023-10-14T22:49:27+00:00

In customer service, you will likely meet upwards of 100 people in a single day. Many times more if you're at a club or busy bar. Creeps also prey on people in customer service because they know they have to act polite. Some girls also attract it more. Less attractive girls get approached more because guys think she's an easier shot.

It's hard to say the actual percentage. I know that some girls can't work a single shift without being creeped on in some way. But you remember the creeps, you don't remember the regular guys that come in, buy their stuff, and then leave. Realistically, the creeps are something like 1 in 20.

MistyMaisel · 2023-10-14T02:41:05+00:00

My impression from existence is that the majority of men (say 90+%) give themselves permission to lie or mislead women for sex or take advantage of psychologically fragile and weak women (daddy or mommy issues sorts, past abuse sorts, you know the type). For me personally, that's pretty shitty behavior, but also extremely and sadly common.

In terms of being ok with women being clearly uncomfortable or uninterested in their advances and continuing, I would say that's probably like 45%.

In terms of dudes being willing to harass, aggressively pursue, corner, be emotionally unstable in a way that makes you a bit afraid, stalk, slime at or creep on....I would say in my experience that's about 40% of men if the circumstances are right and when they're young (think like 15 to 24). In terms of older, it's much closer to like 20% of dudes.

It's not that rare. Most dudes given the right chance when young would go too far with a woman in a creepy way if they thought they could get away with it.

In part when I see men here complaining about all the rules about approaching women, I feel like I'm listening to men complain they have fewer opportunities and environments in which they can get away with shit.

LocalTsunamiCat · 2023-10-14T03:16:32+00:00

It's the minority of men, but it's a very active and loud one. They also don't always behave like that and people around them can think they're good men, because they don't know about the other side of them.

wtknight · 2023-10-14T02:58:57+00:00

I’d say maybe 20% based on what I’ve seen in life. Most men want sex, but they go about it in socially acceptable ways that don’t overly annoy other people to try and find it.

_here_ok · 2023-10-14T15:06:25+00:00

If you were to think about it, a majority of scumbags would go for average women because it is safest. Average people when alone are likely to stay alone or not have as much support in comparison to someone who is attractive. It's like what the women said. When she is alone it happens more often.

An extremely attractive person is going to have a lot of people wanting to talk to them and etc. Scumbags mostly care about themselves and in turn will do things to ensure they won't get in trouble. When most people think of scumbags they think of the ones that go to a concert and scream "Throw me your underwear!". In reality most look for opportunities of control and power to make sure that what they do is without consequence. Probably explains why so many of them gain positions of power.

Midaycarehere · 2023-10-14T22:41:37+00:00

I think since dating and hookup apps are a thing, the number has gone up. It leads men to think most women don’t want a relationship and are down for just sex, even when places like Tinder let you distinguish if you are looking for a LTR. I’ve met every LTR in the past several years on there. Shorter ones too! Some really great people.

People have “online skills” nowadays, instead of face to face conversational skills.

Maybe 5% of men but I live in the Midwest. People are just nicer. Have different values around sex outside of the metro areas. Most people want to date and have families, not mess around for a few decades.

calfshrug · 2023-10-14T03:28:17+00:00

My scummy behaviors - talking to women for a bit too long who gave some indications of not being interested in talking, but my assuredness, delusion, and being in a public wide open setting, and the women being receptive and continuing conversation, comforted me to keep going. This escalated to me sending many texts, calls, and sometimes even contacting them on a burner phone. It was just begging by saying, hey, i liked our conversation, hope you’re doing well, I just wish you could tell me straight up, etc.

I also tried to kiss a woman on a date as I dropped her off to her place, and she pulled away, and it was uncomfortable.

Other scummy behaviors - having sex with a lady from tinder or whatever, then not messaging her again, or waiting like a week to message her. Also, lying to them about my name, things like that, and likely conveying a sense of anxiety and guardedness, and the underlying emotions involved there - that I was cheating on the woman I Love, and feeling that my life is a disaster out of my control.

Whiskeyjack1982 · 2023-10-14T02:12:23+00:00

3% Most men are invisible to women. They only remember the creeps.

Capital-Literature-9 · 2023-10-14T10:27:07+00:00

I imagine there's different categories for the level of offense committed.

Like the amount of straight up violent sociopathic rapists (worst of the worst) is probably around less than 1%.

The amount of creepy slime-balls who likely just think of themselves as opportunists that might try their dumb luck with groping, coercion, targeting drunk girls, etc. Probably between 2 - 10%.

And the amount of people who came across as creepy to a woman, while not actually having any ill intent is again probably much higher.

You'll never get a precise number as the ratio of victims to perpetrators isn't 1:1 and it's near impossible to determine how many are repeat offenders.

MidoriEgg · 2023-10-14T12:12:14+00:00

I’d say 10% are creeps of those, half of them are loathsome creeps.

Atlasatlastatleast · 2023-10-14T02:33:45+00:00

Out of curiosity, what was he doing to harass her?

killer_tofu101 · 2023-10-14T02:26:44+00:00

Anecdotally, maybe 0.5-1/10. Is that a lot? I definitely don't think it's even close to the majority.

Thanks so much for stepping in for that lady.

Affectionate-Base645 · 2023-10-14T04:44:20+00:00

In nations such as the U.S., I would say that a significant percentage of the population exhibits the traits you described. This is a society where it is considered 'cool' to reject values, morals, religion, etc. and 'uncool' to behave in a moral way. Now, some liberals want to create their own 'set of morals.' For instance, they may say that having sex with someone who isn't your spouse is wrong 'unless' they have 'authorization' from their partner to engage in such activities. They might also argue that harming a 2-year-old is wrong, but at the same time, they are 'pro-choice.' Therefore, morals in this society are subjective; they depend on whether the individual perceives certain actions as moral or immoral.

standingpretty · 2023-10-14T11:36:57+00:00

I think most men are just misguided and not actual creeps.

If anything, I should be jaded because I have literally dated multiple bipolar people and have had some bad dating experiences with people who had horrible intentions with me. I have also experienced SA.

But I think those men in general make up less than 10% of the population on average.

People tend to think it’s higher because of awkward guys saying/doing awkward things in women’s presence or because men who are predators are pretty good at picking out vulnerable women and getting away with their behaviors. Many women have had unwanted sexual contact but a lot of the time, it tends to be the same guys getting away with vile behaviors.

baiser_vole · 2023-10-14T15:52:51+00:00

Actual loathsome slimy creepy scumbags? 2-3%.

People that are just shitty? Much higher.

But I don't think women are any better.

Sonic_Medley · 2023-10-14T21:18:55+00:00

Data skewed. Too many women are attracted to the "bad boy" therefore the data from such a poll is tainted and not based on actual reality. Delulu as they say

AntiHypergamist · 2023-10-14T05:29:04+00:00

It doesn’t matter because there’s an unlimited supply of men on dating apps. Guy being creepy? Swipe to one of the 400 men who arent

Good looking men are allowed to be players, fuckboys. The rest of society learns from them, it’s women who allow this behaviour in the first place. You can’t have a set of standards for one group of men and another for “less desirables “

I’d say 20% overall but it’s far lower among intelligent men in high end careers. The way to avoid creeps is to go for intelligent men not the male models on TikTok.

Hoopy223 · 2023-10-14T04:29:12+00:00

Extremely tiny, maybe 1:10000.

Even in prison the numbers of men who are SA/scum charges aren’t that high.

Obnoxious men are of course much higher but obnoxious = \ = rapist etc.

Also consider that people love to bash on an ex lover sort of thing. We’ve all done it.

L O L at the down votes. You morons really think 10% of man are rapists/predators? That would mean about 15 million men in the USA alone. You have to have a non-functional brain to believe that’s anywhere near reality.

Optimal-Breakfast567 · 2023-10-14T08:16:09+00:00

It’s a small percentage. But women love those types in varying degrees. When Ted Bundy faced trial he received hundreds of love letters from women. I can give you plenty of other examples but it’s generally the case that a large portion of women like “bad guys”.

IFightingFrogsI · 2023-10-14T08:27:57+00:00

What portion of men are actually loathsome slimy creepy scumbags in your experience?

Less than 1%

``Creepy and stalkery`` are just codewords females use to describe ugly and average looking men approaching and hitting on females

MacaronFinancial · 2023-10-14T08:34:31+00:00

You use the following words:

-deranged deadbeats

-reprehensible

-sociopathic stalkers

-loathsome slimy creepy scumbag

This sounds like a SNL or MadTV sketch. It sounds like you're describing Hannibal Lecter and the best you can do is to let us know that a woman felt harassed; you're concentrating on the emotion instead of the action. The laugh track kicks in when the guy behind this description is shown.

I'm pushing 40 and I have been going to night venues since the age of 21. Night venues are known for drunkenness and drawing people from the lower socioeconomic classes. I can count on one hand the times I have witnessed a man harassing a woman (not counting foreigners AKA refugees and migrants). My sister is near my age and she was assaulted by a man once in her life to my knowledge; those men were foreigners from islamic countries.

Instead of turning statistics over their head I would look into psychology to explain why you are feeling this way. Social psychology and other sciences have ways to explain why our minds go into generalizations and other functions to save energy and increase our survival. You are also working under the premise that the likelihood of being "harassed" goes up with attractiveness. I'm not saying that it does not but I'm not sure it's that linear.

I'm not saying men are angels. People are another species that came here from somewhere and we all try to avoid pain and navigate this strange world during our limited time on earth the best we can. Decent people are also going to have dick moments; I have had mine and I still feel shame about stuff I did 15 years ago that the other person probably forgot. Some people are unlikable 24/7 but still perform crucial functions in society. There are people who you want to punch in the face but they are highly trained professionals who you only have to see once or never in your life and they pay a lot of taxes.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2023-10-14T10:21:55+00:00

Every lady I meet in her mid 20s upwards has her share of first hand horror stories involving these types.

Anything for a woman in her 20s is sexual harassment or "literally r4p3".

The most creep guy I ever saw would lift woman skirts, slap their arises and invade peoples personal spaces in the most disgusting way possible but the dude was tall, blue eyes and son of a rich man so he got a pass with everything.

If you let the definition into the hands of women will be just a question of: is he good looking?

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-10-14T04:26:46+00:00

80% .

90% if this sub is a representation of men

obviousredflag · 2023-10-14T10:11:59+00:00

Same portion as women. So answer from your own experience.

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calfshrug · 2023-10-14T03:20:53+00:00

Can you describe what the scummy guy at the market was doing? It’s extremely valuable to know.

Ass-a-holic · 2023-10-14T05:35:16+00:00

What was the harassment?

bluehorserunning · 2023-10-14T22:03:58+00:00

Very few are ‘loathsome slimy scumbags.’ Several are rage addicts; several don’t truly seem to see women as human beings; several are kind of losers. Many are intellectually lazy.

In other words, pretty much the same as the women I know.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-10-15T01:10:56+00:00

Gullible militant TRP devotees, men who pursue women despite their lack of interest, and cheeseball PUAs.

Most men are cool and actually enjoy women’s company and presence in their life whether those women are dispensing sex or not.

flosterjenkins · 2023-10-15T01:57:25+00:00

If I have to make up a number from my personal experience, 1-2% who are real red flags, maybe 5-10% who are yellow flags. depends on environment

riberphnix · 2023-10-15T03:25:38+00:00

If you know the guy long enough, it's all of them.

Cotehill · 2023-10-15T10:54:19+00:00

I think you need a cape and a mask. And a fantastic name. Then go and sit in dark corners watching all the scumbags scurry around. Then beat them up based on their gender, because you saw something once and someone said it happens all the time.

How about WonderPimp?

Clementinequeen95 · 2023-10-15T14:59:24+00:00

I would say the majority of men are creeps. Probably about 80% or so based on personal experience

Operatesinreality · 2023-10-16T02:33:47+00:00

Most are somewhere in between, not total.

CringeButCorrect · 2023-10-17T22:51:44+00:00

15%, 3 in 20 are awful. 12 in 20 are just normal dudes, 5 in 20 are amazing dudes.

Title	What portion of men are actually loathsome slimy creepy scumbags in your experience?
Author	StaticNocturne
Upvotes	31
Comments	213
Date	October 14, 2023 2:01 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/177esly/what_portion_of_men_are_actually_loathsome_slimy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-portion-of-men-are-actually-loathsome-slimy.1235050 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235050

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