How are men supposed to deal with being the hornier sex?

sublimemongrel · 2023-12-12T04:24:39+00:00

I mean they masturbate more. Obv that's how they "deal" with it. Millions of young men, all the time, every day, masturbating. "Dealing" with it without some sort of existential crisis that cripples them in perpetuity.

Steakman1 · 2023-12-12T04:04:59+00:00

You’re correlating horniness with intimacy. Horniness can be satisfied with prostitution and masturbation. Intimacy cannot. But I’m not sure how much of an argument there is for men being the more intimate sex. The testosterone and horniness should be your motivation to go out and either find a woman you can eventually have sex with, or to do something that gets you closer to that goal. The only reason some people rely on porn in these moments is because it gives them the instant gratification and an immediate sense of satisfaction. What usually happens after you jerk off? You feel lazy and don’t want to do anything. Next time you’re horny, instead of jerking off, go bust your ass at the gym. And then when you get home all exhausted, you won’t be horny anymore and will have also taken one step forward towards being attractive to some women. Stop viewing testosterone as a burden and view it for what it is: a literal biological motivation inside of you to go achieve things.

If intimacy is what you crave, then you have to go and try to find a woman to be in a relationship with. Men don’t have the luxury of having potential relationships fall into their lap. Even the really attractive guys get flaked on and rejected.

kellydayscruff · 2023-12-12T03:53:53+00:00

with the recognition that sex isnt everything and we need to remove it from the pedestal we have placed it on. Being horny doesnt require acting on it, you will never die from being too horny or get sick from not ejaculating. Learn to control it so that it doesnt control you. Learn to focus your energy into goal achievement and self regulation. A man ruled by sex is an inferior man, its the same as being ruled by your emotions.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2023-12-12T04:22:35+00:00

I think this is question and the content in the post are best summed up as: How does one fulfil the psychological need for love when sexual love isn't an option.

Start with family - spend some time on a regular basis with your parents. If you parents aren't an option, do you have any siblings, uncles, or cousins you could spend time with? Make a habit of visiting your grandparents on a semi-regular basis, outside of family get-togethers. If family is simply not an option, proceed to the following point.

Friends - find people whose company you enjoy, and who enjoy your company. This is easier said than done... I know. If you don't have any friends, try joining hobby clubs where you can meet people who share your interests. Take classes for things you are interested in and do your best to talk to the people and see if you can form some bonds.

Cat/dog - If a pet is an option for you, then get one.

Become a part of something - whether it's volunteering at a church or a soup-kitchen, joining a fraternal order like the Freemasons, or just anything that gives you a sense of belonging. You might meet some friends through these avenues too.

Safinated · 2023-12-12T04:06:29+00:00

Just fine, usually by keeping busy. You think cavemen were fucking tons of women? Or that peasant farmers were swimming in puss?

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2023-12-12T03:38:17+00:00

Fill your life with other valuable things, jack off when you need, and find ways of seeking non sexual touch until you find a partner (or partners) who fulfills your libido. I get horny too bro - you deal with it like an adult.

ArmariumEspada · 2023-12-12T05:23:04+00:00

I am getting so sick of seeing “men are horny animals whose main priority in life is having sex” posts on this subreddit. I don’t understand why the mods haven’t taken action against this pointless, tired, and contrived topic (I use the word “topic” loosely).

Instead of constantly screaming “men are horny” from the rooftops, have you possibly considered that there’s more for men in life than sex? And sex probably feels more physically pleasurable for women anyway….

Planthoe30 · 2023-12-12T10:33:02+00:00

I can sympathize with someone who wants to have a genuine romantic connection but cannot.

The I’m horny and sad thing is hard for me to care about admittedly because it’s like.. Most women don’t want to be just your sexual release and I can’t be motivated to care from this angle.

im_a_little_teap0t · 2023-12-12T09:19:29+00:00

I have a theory that men who are perpetually horny actually just have low dopamine. Men who engage in hobbies, exercise and healthy socialization, in my experience, don’t seem to be as horny. It’s still always different for everyone, but I’ve definitely seen a pattern in boyfriends past.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-12-12T03:41:57+00:00

Part of being an adult is learning the difference between wants and needs and understanding that you can’t always get exactly what you want when you want it and that’s ok.

Figure out what’s really important to you and work towards achieving your goals (sexual and otherwise) while understanding that there are no guarantees in life and life isn’t “fair” and that’s ok too.

In other words, do the best that you can and otherwise suck it up buttercup.

Peter5930 · 2023-12-12T03:39:05+00:00

I'm not a man, so I have no idea how this built up testosterone feels like.

From my observation, we are rational beings. Men everywhere for centuries have done well being horny and full of testosterone. I don't know enough about the history of prostitution and sexual access throughout history but since we are in 2023, going into 2024, men will continue to live, even if they are not getting laid.

An inconsistency in your argument, though, is: Horniness and intimacy are too different things. If horniness is the cause of elevated testosterone, having an orgasm should chill you out, whether through porn, masturbation, prostitution; hence being able to deal with it. Now if intimacy is what these high testosterone men seek, then it wouldn't resolve fully the horniness problem, would it?

EulenWatcher · 2023-12-12T04:24:49+00:00

The same way we deal with a lack of other things we want - we learn to cope and enjoy what we have and/or we work to get more of this thing that we desire. Our life consists largely from unfulfilled wants and desires we’re working on or learn to deal with.

More practically men just live their lives without building it around their penises and libido. They have friends, families, work to do etc. They also have sex even if it’s less than they want.

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2023-12-12T08:40:21+00:00

Pay a pro?

MidoriEgg · 2023-12-12T11:50:04+00:00

For some men with very high sex drive and lower success with hookups, maybe using a prostitute isn’t a terrible idea

WilliamWyattD · 2023-12-12T14:39:29+00:00

Social constructionism went too far, and I am glad more weight is being put on biology in these matters now. BUT let's not go too far that way, either.

Part of the OP's issue is that he thinks that the horniness of a 20 year old male who is being non-stop titillated by a hyper-sexualized digital culture is somehow the 'normal' state of men in general. And it is more than sexual titillation: sexual status has become a major source of life status for man, so men's desire for status is general is being co-opted here, too.

There are no good answers until you create a reasonable cultural environment that isn't amping up male desire for novel sex 24/7, while making less attractive men feel like they are inferior human beings overall.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-12-12T15:29:13+00:00

Short answer: most men deal with it by becoming fuckable then finding someone to fuck as much as possible.

CBreann913 · 2023-12-12T19:16:01+00:00

Well that's a generalized fallacy. Horniess is dependent upon the person, not the gender. It's all about compatibility, when it comes to dealing with different sex drives. I know women who are just as horny as their male partners, and I know some who are hornier than their men and literally wear them out in the bedroom.

You deal with it by accepting everybody is different and has different sexual needs and desires, and just finding the ladies who complement yours

penndelnj · 2023-12-12T03:51:26+00:00

I used to have the naive belief that adult men could control themselves and manage their sexuality. I’m sad to find out that it’s some Herculean task. Gonna go ahead and lower the rest of my expectations as well.

KayRay1994 · 2023-12-12T03:44:01+00:00

Frankly, if prostitution isn’t doing it for you and you otherwise can’t actively hook up or are in a relationship with someone with a lower sex drive. Just deal with it, to put it bluntly, actively fucking is not a need and you straight up just have to accept where you’re at.

MistyMaisel · 2023-12-12T04:37:54+00:00

Discipline.

When discipline fails masturbation. Then go back to discipline. Wash, rinse, repeat. (No really, wash your hands and rinse them).

Hopefully you eventually find someone interested in being sexual with you. If not, see steps one and two. Blessedly, by the time you're about 30 this will be significantly more manageable and you'll find discipline lasts longer.

omelettekingg · 2023-12-12T03:43:46+00:00

Neuter yourself

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2023-12-12T04:03:32+00:00

The fastest way for a man to reduce his horniness is to have sex with the same woman day in, day out. The more sex he has, the less horny he is.

bluestjuice · 2023-12-12T04:32:32+00:00

I feel like the phrasing ‘supposed to’ implies an ideal response to this question, but I’m not sure there can be any objective answer there. The best response will be the one that best fits with each individual’s needs and personality.

Top contenders are goal-oriented behaviors of many types (physical, intellectual, social, career-related), self-care and satisfaction in a holistic sense to ensure that sexual energy doesn’t dominate all other aspects of the self, and thoughtful use of sexual stimulation to orgasm (or not!), either solo or with consenting partners.

Icky138 · 2023-12-12T06:00:03+00:00

men do have higher sex drives HOWEVER, the studies that have compared male and female sex drives are flawed because typically a women’s sex drive fluctuates throughout their cycle and it’s made testing a baseline trickier. there’s a few other factors that factor in…

we had a discussion the other night about how 25 year old boys fetishize 40 year old women and it happens that their sex drives match pretty well also….

but it’s definitely individualistic…. across the board i’ve met about as many low libido dudes as i have high libido dudes. Same with women. you gotta factor external’s influences such as medications and stress as well.

i deal with sexual frustration by mentally punching holes through the drywall and then cope like i have to cope with everything else.

ArtifactFan65 · 2023-12-12T06:43:46+00:00

Just develop some weird fetish like masturbating while arguing with women on Reddit.

TWCDev · 2023-12-12T07:40:56+00:00

Soon enough, guys will be able to buy ai powered sexbots, i bet within 4 years. Like all things, some people will say it’s the end of the world, and some trashy men will still say it’s not enough because they continue to want specific women to like them back, which will never happen. Still, I think eventually everyone will be able to be sexually satisfied if not the way they want

Spyro7x3 · 2023-12-12T08:08:55+00:00

Monk pill. It's not impossible nor as hard as people make it out to be I'm a volcel with a pretty high drive when I'm actually engage with women, but I've become disciplined to the point that I can flip it on or off like a switch when I'm alone I don't struggle because I've cut out porn and masturbation since about 2018.

You can say I'm just low libido and thats why its easy but I've never had a problem keeping up with my horniest exes or FWBs and I'm a freak when it really comes to it.

If anything has made it easier its the overall disappointment and sadness about the opposite sex resulting from all of my relationships. If I see a super cute girl giving signs sometimes I'll tease and think to myself that pussy is probably like a drug but then I think about the times where I did hook up and was never really satisfied plus all potential drama that comes with it I get turned off again.

obviousredflag · 2023-12-12T09:32:21+00:00

Horny is not just a "i want sex" thing, it's also a "i am motivated to get sex". If casual sex is off the table, men go for relationship sex and solve the horny problem. I am not at all subscribing to the no-fap stuff, but you will likely severely hinder your motivation to get a girlfriend if you silence your thirst for sex with masturbation every day. You need the drive to overcome your inhibitions to approach women.

Electronic_West_1831 · 2023-12-12T10:29:30+00:00

Chemical castration?

SyrusDrake · 2023-12-12T11:18:22+00:00

It's a question I've been trying to answer for myself for many years and, unfortunately, there isn't one magic bullet that will solve the problem equally well for every person and at every time. There are different things you can try that reportedly work for different people and sometimes, you have to resort to different solutions on different days. Some days, that might just be jacking off every time you feel horny. I mean, why not, it's a quick and easy solution. If it doesn't help, or you can't do that, for some reason, try distracting yourself (when I, misguidedly, tried noFap a long time ago, I often just took a nap when I felt horny). Meditation can help with controlling your feelings and needs. Some people have reported that SSRI anti-depressants have curbed their libido, although I personally can't really vouch for that.

ilike18yoblackpussy · 2023-12-12T12:07:17+00:00

In the current year most just deal with it by jacking off to porn.

Source: High levels of porn consumption combined with falling levels of self-reported sexual activity and relationships among young men, as well as fewer prostitutes than there were in the past.

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-12-12T12:11:50+00:00

Thankfully I'm blessed with a low libido/testerone. Of course I can be sexual if the situation arises (regular visits to escorts) but 99% of the time I have a useful off/on switch.

Believe it ir not I don't masturbate as I feel little desire too. Saying that I did used to indentify as asexual for much of my twenties and thirties. I probably still am!

IAbstainFromSociety · 2023-12-12T13:59:29+00:00

High dose SSRIs is what finally did it for me.

Logical-Confection-7 · 2023-12-12T22:43:54+00:00

Prostitution is not cool. Don’t pay for sex, is not cool.

Hmmmm I think this is a good question. I don’t known if men hornier, but is true that women don’t like us at the same rate (I don’t even think lesbian have as little list for other women as straight women have for men).

I think maybe canalizar that energy into other ventures. Worry less about women and try to block them sexually as much as possible. Finding a girlfriend, but marinating your main interest an focus away from sex.

Is like a fiend of mine once said “women are boring” but he didn’t mean women are not interesting; he has multiple women who are his friends and that he loves hanging out with and discussions all sort of topics. What he meant is that women don’t really want to play with us that much. 😂😂😂

I don’t think most men would ever feel completely fulfilled on that level, just because women truly don’t like to play that way, if you know what’s I mean 😂😂

qunamax · 2023-12-13T04:42:23+00:00

It's funny how general consensus shifted over the decades from "women don't like sex" to "women like sex as much as men" to "women like sex more than men" and now to "men like sex more than women".

apresonly · 2023-12-12T05:22:08+00:00

men often say women are just a hole so it follows that they should be able to date other men.

StuckInLimbo_97 · 2023-12-12T03:56:48+00:00

First of all, careers don’t mean shit when it comes to sexual attractiveness.

It just adds to an already sexually attractive males attractiveness.

Women are actually quite horny believe it or not and are very willing to have sex.

I would advise men to exercise their testosterone in positive ways.

Work your ass off at work. Get in early and stay late.

Kick ass and focus on doing the absolute best job you can whether that’s flipping burgers or flipping companies at a private equity firm.

Work your ass off at the gym. Don’t go to the gym to take pictures and text women.

Leave your phone in the locker and push some fucking plates. Sweat. Go hard.

Work your ass off at a hobby. Focus on getting better and more skilled.

Work your ass off in school. Be the best you can be and go above and beyond.

If you’re working your ass off like a man should, you should be tired/busy enough for the horniness to wear off.

And oh yeah if you’re semi attractive, have good social skills, and follow the above principles, women will be jumping your bones.

Nothing is more attractive than a man who has shit to do and is going after it.

Nothing is more unattractive than a bum who has nothing to do and is complaining about how the world is stacked against him.

Be the hero. Quit worrying about ass and start putting in some fucking work dawg.

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-12-12T04:59:44+00:00

We are in the most advanced age of masturbation that has ever existed. You deal with it by jerking off and having hobbies and a social life.

SeveralLiterature980 · 2023-12-12T04:12:06+00:00

If your 'yes' pool of women is large enough, it's pretty easy.

Konoha_Shinobee · 2023-12-12T06:09:41+00:00

You can just use porn. Try to remember that you have to keep dealing with a woman after sex and most of them aren't very entertaining company.

BuiltForTruth · 2023-12-12T14:08:05+00:00

You channel it into productive energy. But even before that you see this as a conquest. Men love to conquer, but the most important thing to conquer is yourself. Lean into that natural instinct to conquer and be the master of yourself. As men we love to say we have mastery over our emotions, but how about our horniness?

I’m not speaking from a place of no experience here. I abstain from all sexual activity even though I have a beautiful fiancée who I’ve been with for a few years now. Reason is, we are saving sex for marriage (yes we are religious, and yes she is a virgin). I also abstain from porn and masturbation. And no it’s not easy, especially as someone who has a colorful sexual past. But the thing that gets me through it is knowing why I’m doing it: to follow my religion, to conquer myself, to love my future bride, to be the leader my future family needs—such that if I’m called to have a son and he asks me how to conquer his horniess, I won’t look at him clueless.

Expensive-Tea455 · 2023-12-12T14:15:40+00:00

Your horniness is really not anybody else’s problem but your own tbh

KissCutMe · 2023-12-12T06:14:08+00:00

Theyre not the hornier sex. There is no “hornier sex”. It’s 2023.. read a book.

boredom4321 · 2023-12-12T16:34:18+00:00

You control it. It also helps you look more masculine because the more in tune you are with your primal desires without being ruled by them the more it comes across in your mannerisms. It lets you tap into that "bad boy" vibe without really having to be one and can do a lot for men who need to add some edge to their image.

Financial_Chemist286 · 2023-12-12T04:59:39+00:00

This is how you deal with it.

By being better than others. Because you have such great power of testosterone you show great control and discipline. Your partner will even admire this.

This makes you stronger than others who are weaker and would rather give into masterbation, porn, and even shallow, hallowed, love less sex.

Sex with true meaning and connection is what we are all after.

To be the better man sort of speak because you are waiting to find that other hopefully disciplined partner you will reap the rewards of a more unified and meaning sex life.

It will take lots of sacrifice but even you as a man have to be an example and foundation for your family.

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blebbyroo · 2023-12-12T03:34:53+00:00

Time and career re-direction

mike-sonko · 2023-12-12T03:48:08+00:00

If you're lucky like me you have a GF who is high libido.

If not, perhaps seek escorts or sex workers.

grillopie · 2023-12-12T04:08:02+00:00

Just suppress them out in society. the testosterone and stuff motivates you to be clever about how you approach women anyway. once you get in the bedroom, let it out. you have to go times wanting without release but such is life? i’d rather that than deal with female anatomy tbh.

Organic-Raccoon1776 · 2023-12-12T04:39:07+00:00

Unexpected mood swings

Suzcval · 2023-12-12T04:44:05+00:00

It's a crossroads, basically. If you're shy, low self esteem, low confidence, think every woman is only after mr. 6'5" foot long dick, or anything like that, at some point you have to either continue letting yourself be crippled by those thoughts and being too insecure to approach women and too afraid of rejection, or throwing all those thoughts to the wind and saying "fuck it" in the hopes that you find the one woman out of 10, or 100, or a million or whatever that will want to be with you. If you would rather choose the first option, then your desires aren't strong enough.

Agile_Celebration492 · 2023-12-12T09:14:01+00:00

Common knowledge men are hornier? I think there's a lot of scientific evidence supporting the opposite dude xD

Either way i think it's bull. Sex is one of the very few things in my estimation that is an equalizer between men and women. Buddy if you only knew how many times peoples platonic friends of the opposite sex, man or woman go to each other JUST for a nut it'd blow your mind xD I've known straight up bull dykes who were so horny they asked a guy friend to stick it in em and gay men who hit up their gal pals for something to plow. Hell I've even known aces to get a hankering from time to time.

That's an extreme example but my point is it happens. People are people and people LOVE good sex.

I think the question you need to ask yourself is not how men in general deal with imbalanced libido in their relationships but how do YOU make your partner or yourself more horny.

Answer is simple: fuck more. Fuck better. The more orgasms you have with someone the better it gets. I promise.

That having been said, good sex life is not the same as a good relationship. Trust and believe that. Husband's and wives can fuck like champions, won't change the facts of a broken marriage ya heard?

wtknight · 2023-12-12T12:11:49+00:00

Typically, men find girlfriends. The average man is having sex, probably with his girlfriend or wife.

mcminimus · 2023-12-12T22:47:18+00:00

Masturbate

Easy_Mango2996 · 2023-12-20T16:05:37+00:00

Be bisexual?

Title	How are men supposed to deal with being the hornier sex?
Author	Vegetable-Rub3418
Upvotes	0
Comments	231
Date	December 12, 2023 3:32 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18gcix5/how_are_men_supposed_to_deal_with_being_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-are-men-supposed-to-deal-with-being-the.1240553 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240553

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