If You Believe Women Only Go For A-Holes, Does That Mean You Believe Married Men and Men With GF’s Are Assholes?

_Swans_Gone · 2025-03-19T15:02:27+00:00

When I worked as a bagger, a dude thought I missed placing a breadloaf in his cart and in front of his whole family said "You're terrible, just terrible dude". All that and it turns out that peice of bread belonged to another customer. I have multiple stories like this.

Are all married men assholes? Obviously not, but it's clear people really don't care if their husband or wife is a bad person.

leosandlattes · 2025-03-19T13:42:41+00:00

There are absolutely men here who believe women date and marry assholes, especially when partnered up young (like they started dating in young adulthood to mid-20s).

The exception is when she’s post-wall and beta buxxed some nice guy, in which case that is her choosing a good guy for financial stability over the excitement of choosing an asshole.

I’ve had men around here tell me they’ve never ever seen a couple where the guy was just genuinely a nice person, financially stable, and also attractive. I’ve had men tell me I must have chosen an asshole because he makes over a certain amount of money, just grasping at anything lollll.

thapussypatrol · 2025-03-19T15:45:52+00:00

It's obvious women don't only date assholes - assholes just evidently aren't a demographic they filter out very effectively (or in some cases girls do like it) - a nice (not 'nice') guy with fewer desirable traits will lose vs. an asshole with more desirable traits - if anything, it tends to be the case that this phenomenon of 'too nice' is definitely more unattractive than 'being an asshole' (or too much of one) provided 'being an asshole' doesn't get to genuine sociopathy/narcissism to the point where his more desirable traits are exchanged for a guy who is maybe a tad less of an asshole

MalePsychopath · 2025-03-19T22:10:19+00:00

Take a look at this study:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886913012245

The researchers showed personality descriptions of men to women and asked them to rate their attractiveness. Women rated high dark triad personalities as attractive and preferred them.

The researchers controlled for several factors.
Looks: The descriptions contained no photos. This was purely about personality.
Manipulation: There were no actual men talking to women who could manipulate them.
High Extraversion & Low Neuroticism: The researchers made sure that the women rated the actual dark triad traits and not extraversion and neuroticism instead.

People with high dark triad personalities are undoubtedly bad people as they are selfish, manipulative, immoral, cruel parasites.

Women find anti-social traits sexually attractive and pro-social traits relationship attractive. They look for an acceptable balance when choosing a husband.

ExcelsiorState718 · 2025-03-19T22:01:15+00:00

Dating and marriage aren't the same thing women go forvassholes gor fun and sex they go for husband's for security and social acceptance. I have listened to many women say they don't like their husband and don't find him attractive some have even said they only married for the money.

Anyway they don't only go for assholes but they are attracted to them also asshole is a pretty broad term btw this is where the negging ideology came from.

Barely-moral · 2025-03-19T13:40:21+00:00

Assholes get women when they are young and are not demanding marriage as a condition for the relationship to exist. They get more for free.

The guy that finishes last gets a woman after her prime is over and she is demanding marriage as a condition for the relationship to exist. They get less and pay more.

abaxeron · 2025-03-19T14:19:08+00:00

No; some bad men are single by choice.

Puzzleheaded_Card_71 · 2025-03-19T19:19:38+00:00

Women go for top men. Those men get away with being asses because they can. Same way hot women get away with being crazy.

Most women cannot get those men long term. Thats not a big deal but for the fact most of them want to breed, so they settle for men they don’t really want to be with once they get older. Those average men are the ones that provide the resources females want. Give a choice women want a dad and his resources in the mix over single motherhood, and if a man marries one, the law allows her to vest in his resources.

Pretty simple stuff, look at who a young cute girl dated and then who she married, if she fails to lock down a top guy. Women dress this up by claiming bull like they’ve matured or ready for a real relationship. Not true.

Albedo200 · 2025-03-19T15:15:26+00:00

I dont believe women go after assholes.

I believe most (not all) young women go after the conventionally attractive guy (tall, handsome or very rich) but since alot of women go after the same attractive guys, these guys have alot of options. Which tends to make most of them (not all) assholes. They can pick and choose, string people along more easily etc. Even some of the bad behaviors they do might appear cool to some young women because pretty privilege.

But this doesnt always last, as such women get older, keep getting their heart broken and played by such men, they start to realize and learn to recognize red flags which forces them to lower their standards. They start to look for relationships with a more stable average guy. Because these guys dont have much options or the pretty privilege, they tend to be more nicer (generally)

So no, not all men with gfs are assholes. Its not that assholes get gfs, its just that the guys that can get a girl much easily tends to become one.

kongeriket · 2025-03-19T14:06:32+00:00

*checks flair and posting history*

Short answer: YES

Longer answer: "Nice guy" and "asshole" are board brush archetypes, but they exist and persist for a reason. Well, for multiple reasons in fact. But one of the reasons is that the more successful men have more of the "asshole" archetype while the less successful ones have more of the "nice guy" archetype.

At age 23 I spoke 8 languages, had been to 40 countries, had military experience, was willing to throw a punch if necessary and had a body count 10x higher than the average man. Did that help with finding a wife? No. Or not in a significant manner. But it sure did help a lot with keeping her in the years that followed.

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LoudPiece6914 · 2025-03-20T04:04:00+00:00

No, first of all you have the 80-20 rule so you have 20% of women who are the good women who are dating and or married to good men and happy. Those women are amazing and they deserve all the good things they get. Next, you have older women who realize they can’t get the man they desire and think they are “settling” these are horrible women who destroy good men. Of course, in the 20% of men that women find desirable you have good men in there, but they will get taken quickly. So that leaves the assholes in the top 20% to casually date most of the single women and leave them destroyed so that they can go and ruin a good man.

TLDR:No, however, the good ones get taken quickly so they are more likely to cycle through the bad attractive ones then talk to the good unattractive ones.

ImmaDrainOnSociety · 2025-03-21T03:41:39+00:00

This is like asking "If men only go for young women with tight pu****s, does that mean all married women are college age?" No, obviously it's more complex than that.

If that asshole is broke shrimp he's even less likely to get a woman's attention than you.

It's all about resources & potential kids. The assholes redpills talk about aren't simply mean, they're threatening (and therefore can protect offspring) and/or have money. Or at least give that impression.

Those married nice guys and men with GFs? They've shown they have the money/power to give kids a decent life.

^{^{^...and}} ^{^{^assholes}} ^{^{^aren't}} ^{^{^interested}} ^{^ⁱⁿ} ^{^{^her}} ^{^{^anymore,}} ^{^{^if}} ^{^{^they}} ^{^{^ever}} ^{^{^were.}}

Suddenfury · 2025-03-21T07:43:55+00:00

Lots of married men and lots of dead bedrooms out there.

Plazmatron44 · 2025-03-21T10:52:31+00:00

We've never said women only go for assholes, we've never said there aren't outliers, what we say is women are more likely to go for assholes because said assholes tend to be good looking and confident. There are plenty of good looking decent men out there but overall women don't care how morally upstanding a man is until he's passed the looks and confidence test.

James_M_Croft · 2025-03-21T18:27:53+00:00

TRP says that women go for assholes for sex, and go for good men for money, usually changing completely their choices in partners after their value starts to fall with age, these concepts are called AF/BB and the wall respectively.

Mick427 · 2025-03-22T06:23:42+00:00

Who said women only go for A-holes?

Western women are usually primarily attracted to A-holes and usually sleep around with A-holes.

For marriage it's usually beta type nice guys, if the A-holes don't capitulate.

...does that mean the men who are in relationships are mostly bad dudes, and single men are the only good dudes?

A-holes don't usually do relationships

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2025-03-19T19:18:07+00:00

Not at all. I think good respectable women get picked up and get married too.

But also think the women that complain at every turn that all men are pigs and the outcomes they get are the worst ones. They to a big degree have them selfs to blame.

Cause if your more lose and promiscuous and its normal to be more lose with your partners and your more a pary girl lifestyle. It means that both sides are party people and both people are aiming for a fun time not a long time. What literally is the badboys a lot of women go for.

I have no problems women doing and choosing what ever they want. But I hate that they wanna have all the benefits of all the things they did choices they made. But want to carry none of the consequences and responsibility of the outcomes being cause of there own actions and choices they made.

Im all for women doing what they want. But dont be surprised that both sides do what they want. And if you do t walk the same line or have to same morals or values that people don't take you seriously.

A party girl wanting to be treated as a wife. Is like a addicted gambler saying he would be a great and responsible father.

Your past actions disqualify you to be worthy of that position. And thats all it is. So no hate but if you shown your promiscuous and easy to sleep around and party or even have a past of cheating. You shown your not have the same level of loyalty and respect on the same level. So people dont take you serious cause you have shown you did not take it that seriously beforehand. And thats the simple just cause you choose you deserve something dont make you deserving off it just cause you want it.

Just like a bank robber can say well that was in the past I dont do that anymore so please hire me in the bank now. No one would take that seriously. But you expect basically the same thing from men and they suddenly should take it seriously.

Lack of virtue and being quick and easy with sex and hookups. For most men with any self respect makes you un worthy of being a wife. Cause you show you dont have the core base value for a comited relationship. That's all it is. And can make endless list of things that is the same what we dont accept as a society as well. But cause people dont like it. We suddenly should pass it cause it hurts people's feelings. Well there plenty of unfairness for men too and its also tuff luck deal with it. Well I think its quite fair to say the same thing. If people get to do what ever they want dont mean they should be free from consequences. And just like women get to choose so get men to choose who they take seriously so both have the capacity of choice and thags the free Marketplace so Tough luck and deal with it.

And I think all people have good and evil in them. So you can push a person enough even the purest person you can push to do something horrible.

So think worst people and the best people will still be in relationships cause like minded people gets pulled to each other. Why you often hear people that have cheated in the past get later on cheated all the time too. Like minded people do have a pull to each other. What also make why there is a rejection of moral and value if people underline to fair from that. What also means with morals. So type finds type. But people hate what that really means in time. But thats consequences of your choices and actions

Title	If You Believe Women Only Go For A-Holes, Does That Mean You Believe Married Men and Men With GF’s Are Assholes?
Author	Gravel_Roads
Upvotes	61
Comments	240
Date	March 19, 2025 12:52 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1jew8zq/if_you_believe_women_only_go_for_aholes_does_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-believe-women-only-go-for-a-holes-does-that.1547237 https://theredarchive.com/post/1547237

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