Why is male porn consumption so hated by some women?

ohdiddly · 2025-05-12T08:00:20+00:00

I genuinely think a large portion of it is due to insecurity. I mean if they can’t even stand their boyfriends having a quick glance at an attractive woman in public then obviously they’re going to have a huge issue with them watching porn.

EulenWatcher · 2025-05-11T04:31:43+00:00

I’m against the industry, because it’s abusive towards people involved, and I don’t really watch porn myself. I don’t mind others doing it as long as they don’t support the industry and it’s done in moderation.

I do think overconsumption of porn distorts one’s sexuality and views of the opposite gender though.

Slow-Narwhal486 · 2025-05-11T04:09:50+00:00

I don't hear women saying that they hate single men for watching porn. I wouldn't hate anyone for watching porn. Unfortunately, porn addiction is rampant among men, and I find that very concerning, but I don't hate people with porn addictions at all.

A lot of men in that category (MGTOWs for example) say that thanks to porn they could end their "enslavement by women".

I find this very concerning. Porn is very addictive, and painting it as a liberating godsend just perpetuates and rationalizes porn addiction. I'm not saying that everyone who watches porn will become addicted, I just don't think this attitude is healthy. It's similar to saying "alcohol liberated me from anxiety" (famous last words). Drinking alcohol doesn't at all mean you're an alcoholic, but viewing it as a solution to some problem isn't healthy.

flipsidetroll · 2025-05-11T05:19:53+00:00

Hardly anyone comes out of that industry unscathed. Somehow the majority end up lonely, drug addicted, mentally unstable. And that’s the women AND the men.

When Stirling cooper used to be on rollo’s videos, (and he’s redpilled) they spoke about women they date. He said he can ONLY date in his industry….that certainly goes against redpill standards…..because regular women wouldn’t date him. Which also goes against the whole idea that women want experienced men. So a redpill man basically shot some redpill standards to hell. And not one of them addressed it. They just avoided what he said.

It has been shown to warp young minds with expectations of women, and expectations of men. And the number of men sulking because they don’t get easy sex certainly shows it’s a problem.

If you use something to “escape” your reality, it’s not healthy. And it’s so easy for any young men and women to find and watch. And no matter how warped someone’s sexual needs are, someone has filmed it and it’s out there. How is any of that ok?

I understand how you can justify it, because you believe it harms no one. Just like people justify drinking or taking drugs. “Oh it’s only me who’s harming me”. But that’s not true. Everyone in the industry is harmed. People die. People get hurt.

oppositegeneva · 2025-05-11T03:33:52+00:00

I have never met or even heard of a single woman hating some random man because he uses pornography in private

I’m fairly anti porn these days but I don’t hate the viewer. If anything I think the viewer is a victim in their own way.

thanks to porn they could end their "enslavement by women"

These men are still “enslaved” btw.

leosandlattes · 2025-05-11T03:00:26+00:00

I’ll tell you what has changed. In the past—and still now—it was understood that men like sexual release via porn, BUT their habits were kept discreet. Like, if I was single and seeing a man, I would not be exposed to his porn mags and porny video rentals.

Now if I were to date and/or befriend single men, a lot of them keep their horny brain on full display. It’s so easy to see which instagram/OF/porn models they like, follow, and comment on.

Assuming the woman in question doesn’t just despise porn use because of industry exploitation (which is a valid reason on its own), that kind of openness is really off putting. I don’t “hate” it, but there’s no sense of decorum or anything, it’s weird to me.

Powerful_Monitor3659 · 2025-05-11T08:54:25+00:00

Very dodgy industry, there's a very high rate of mental health issues amongst sex workers, which is no coincidence.
A lot (not all) the porn lacks female pleasure. A lot of women dislike this becuse and don't understand why men enjoy getting off when the woman clearly isn't.
The amount of disgusting fetishes that are so normalised they don't even need to be searched for under a niche category.

The examples do not represent tw entirety of porn, but they're very very common place.

I would prefer if men just used imagination of nudes tbh.

Pola_Lita · 2025-05-11T11:07:32+00:00

Yike. This doesn't sound as if you hold us in much esteem.

It depends on the porn itself and how the man uses it. Porn that represents women as idiotic creatures with no sexual control or the man whose use of any type prevents him from or helps him avoid functioning like a grown-up man aren't what I want in my life.

I don't hate these men, but it should be fairly obvious why I prefer to avoid them.

TBH, the reasons you gave sound a bit self-serving.

Traditional_Lab1192 · 2025-05-11T05:47:16+00:00

I don’t care when it’s just watching porn and thats it. Personally, I love porn and don’t have a problem with it at all. I watch it with my partner often. The issue lies in how the types of men that you mentioned internalize pornography and allow it to warp their sense of reality. The repeated mentions of cuckoldry amongst those groups is a prime example. If anyone allows porn to dictate their sense of reality and perception of the opposite gender, then yes that’s a problem and they could possibly be a creep.

All of the questions that you asked have never crossed my mind. I’m not threatened by porn or anything on a screen. I’m especially not worried about losing out on a man who allows porn to warp his mind in those ways. That’s not a man whose attention I would need.

Site note: Any man who is paying for porn is automatically a weirdo because only an extremely desperate person would pay for something that is so free and in abundance lol.

LucyintheskyM · 2025-05-11T03:31:29+00:00

The only women I know who have a problem with porn either have religious reasons, or they themselves consume porn, but are firm on only using ethical porn, ie, porn they they pay fairly for, shows genuine desire and pleasure for all parties involved and has transparency around the actors involved to give proof that there is enthusiastic consent and proper remuneration and healthcare.

But that's like 5% of women I know. The rest are just as horny and gross as me and consume porn in likely the same manner as men, or prefer erotica and audio erotica, but don't give a shit about when men do, as long as it isn't hurting others.

The fringes who do have a problem with that have their voices amplified because their views are fringe, so people click out of curiosity. I don't think it's that common, at least where I live.

krayon_kylie · 2025-05-11T13:16:06+00:00

there are so many reasons

but in the simplest terms porn is ruining mens ability to be good at sex tbh, and men should kinda be mad at it too.

bluehorserunning · 2025-05-11T22:16:36+00:00

I think porn consumption is natural and, in some contexts, even healthy for men. But the sex acts portrayed in a lot of porn go from degrading to uncomfortable to painful to dangerous, and men who expect real sex to look like porn sex are bad lovers at best.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-05-11T15:53:45+00:00

They don’t, so they don’t want you to either

IcyTrapezium · 2025-05-15T00:44:26+00:00

Insecurity for sure. It always comes down to that. The ethical concerns are legit, but you can just pay for ethical porn or watch solo porn that is amateur. When offered this solution, anti-porn people don’t tend to change their stance. For this reason, it’s safe to assume this is pretense.

CanaryHeart · 2025-05-15T19:40:01+00:00

Oh man, there are so many moving parts to this.

The sex-work industry is a mess and there are serious issues with unsafe work conditions, exploitation, human trafficking, and so on. I would argue that the stigma against porn and other forms of sex-work just pours gasoline on this fire, but there are plenty of people who look at the same statistics and reduce the issue to “porn is inherently dangerous and exploitative.” There are also less overtly dangerous issues with mainstream porn — it often feeds into unrealistic standards of beauty/attractiveness, caters exclusively to male gaze/male pleasure, and a lot of it has violent/aggressive undertones. A lot of people who are just wholesale against visual pornography are unwilling to separate their critiques of the mainstream porn industry from porn as a general concept.
I’m American, and a lot of the values in my society still stem from Puritanism, which brings about this really weird culture—we still see the Protestant Work Ethic as a natural moral good, which feeds into an uncritical embrace of capitalism and a widespread acceptance of a sort of consumerist hedonism while we both shun and pursue other forms of hedonism. We chase pleasure, but there’s only certain areas that it’s socially acceptable to admit to chasing pleasure, and a lot of it depends on whether or not you appear to have “earned” it through labor, discipline, and restraint—owning ten luxury cars is a worthy goal because you had to earn the money to buy ten luxury cars. Eating at a Michelin-star restaurant for pleasure is acceptable because it’s expensive—eating a box of Twinkies for pleasure is not. Pursuing pornography or casual sex for pleasure isn’t something you had to “earn” in any way, so it’s publicly frowned upon—it’s lazy, childish, self-indulgent, an addiction, and so on. America is also still weirdly religious for a wealthy nation, and our religious communities tend to be more evangelical and less nuanced than those in other wealthy countries. As a whole, we’re really prudish about nudity and sex in the public sphere in general. Hell, we’re still having debates about whether or not it’s okay to teach children basic facts about human sexuality in schools.
America prizes extroversion. Masturbation and pornography use tend to be solo, isolated activities. We don’t view people having healthy solo sex lives as healthy and normal in part because we don’t view solitude as healthy and normal, so there must be something “wrong” with a man who is choosing to masturbate instead of “putting himself out there” to get a “real sex life.” We tend to characterize these people as being isolated, socially awkward weirdos who are generally unambitious and unsuccessful by all American standards—I’m sure we’re all familiar with the stereotype of a single man watching porn, playing video games, and gorging on junk food in his parent’s basement.
Women and men both harbor really toxic ideas about “ownership” of partners and potential partners, and many women see “men who watch porn” as “potential partners who watch porn” and there are a wide variety of reasons cited for why some women absolutely flip over the idea of a partner using any visual pornographic media that isn’t pictures of them—porn use indicates a partner who isn’t satisfied by “real sex,” porn actresses are competition for that partner’s desire/affection, etc.

toad-wrangler · 2025-05-11T03:18:25+00:00

I think it's only an issue if the porn being consumed is the illegal kind, or if the guy develops an addiction (bad for his own health and well being). Other than that, I've never cared at all.

PrideAndPotions · 2025-05-11T16:27:30+00:00

Re: gatekeepers of sex line. Women not having sex with men is...power over men? Perhaps that is part of the reasons why some women don't like porn, the idea that using porn is somehow getting back at women?

Eta: Also "enslavement by women." Unless that is meant to point out how weird that phrase is, I don't think you understand the word "enslavement" very well.

freekin-bats11 · 2025-05-11T14:34:17+00:00

The assumption is that no one is hurt in the process, which is generally wrong.

Pornography is objectifying. Doesnt matter if women (or whoever else) objectify themselves, pornography, similar to prostitution, is the sexual sale of womens bodies for consumption. The idea that there should be a class of women in society who takes on a role of sexually placating frustrated or lonely men to 'protect' other womens relationship prospects or otherwise keep them safe from exploitive men implies that women are not totally human as there will never be enough women to take on this role for the amount of men who seek then out, and womens bodies shouldnt be for sale in a society that protects womens rights as human rights.

Many pornstars end up becoming addicted to drugs and alcohol to endure scenes and even end their lives due to sexual trauma from other actors, directors, peers, and poverty.

Porn videos uploaded to websites cannot 100% be certified for consensual and ethical practices. Many videos out there are uploaded and shared non consentually as revenge porn, leaked nudes, or blackmail. You cant also always tell that a professional porn star is 100% sober, non-coerced, or uninjured during scenes.

Porn consumption can lead to seeking out extreme, violent content since porn is addicting and marketed to be sensational. Porn, being addicting, can easily lead to ED for men, and relationship problems due to the emotional cheating and ethical concerns with porn consumption.

Porn can eroticize power dynamics, abuse, and bigotry for thrills, with categories like 'race play', 'violent 'kinks', teacher/student, employer/employee, incest, and of course pedophilia (teen, 'DDLG', 'barely legal', 'jailbait', etc) being popular. When you basically pavlov's dog urself into enjoying abusive and violent dynamics via orgasm (a powerful, positive reinforcement), one does become desensitized to it all and even justifies its presence in society since they seek it out for self-gratification.

The sex industry is rife with sex trafficking and rape, and is an industry that directly contributes to the sexual objectification of women, children, and sexual minorities (LGBT people particularly) in society, so taking part in even passively consuming it for personal gratification can signal to a woman that a man doesnt care about or even defends these issues that porn contributes to, which can, in turn directly affect her and possibly victimize her if he becomes addicted to porn, or otherwise wabts to try out or force his fantasies on her.

Porn is also kinda degenerate, morally. Its not like erotica or sexual art where theres artistic expression and commentary to be made and craftful skills to show off. Its basically just surface level, instant gratification of the most exploitive dynamics someone could jack off to. Sure theres less violent porn and more 'romantic' categories. But at the end of the day, its all cuckholding and one will eventually seek out more extreme content, which can look like gross, violent, and even illegal fetishes.

Those are my main issues with porn as someone whos anti-porn.

Other women might object to porn for religious reasons due to ideas of piety or traditional sanctity of monogamy and marriage or ideas about the impurity of non-virginal and promiscuous people, or whatever.

Other women may object because they personally dont like porn and think its gross for whatever reason. Maybe theyre squicked out by the graphic nature of it, idk.

Some women may object to porn because its seen as emotional cheating (why would a guy need to seek out sex when hes got a partner to have sex with? Sure a woman can say no cuz shes not in the mood or whatever else, but surely a mans got an imagination and memories? Can he not focus on his own sensations while masturbating? Can he not just turn himself off somehow by redirectinf his focus or sexual energy into somethinf else like a physical activity? Maybe they have private nudes together he can beat it to? Maybe he can find some of her worn panties he can sniff while beating it? LMFAO. So many options that are not seeking out videos of other women to jerk off to).

R/loveafterporn can give some insight as to why porn is harmful to relationships and what mainly women deal with of porn fancied or addicted husbands'/boyfriends'/partners' porn consumption.

Porn, imo, doesnt help remove 'low quality' men from a dating pool for women (who dont 'gatekeep sex', whatever that really means), if anything it just normalizes degeneracy for more men who normalize it among each other as not only alternatives to sex and relationships, but as outlets of self-gratification withing relationships at the expense of their partners (and the people theyre consuming by extension).

Edit: forgot to add that porn is really good at teaching people awful things about sex and relationships. And when a person consumes porn and orgasms to it, basically any overt or subtle message about women and mens sexual roles, value, and statuses gets baked into their subconscious, which can affect the viewers behaviors and treatment of other people. Ive heard many stories of men trying to strangle ('choke [out]') their partners after viewing a lot of porn where actresses are strangled, or men trying for anal on their girlfriend after watching anal porn, for instance.

learn2earn89 · 2025-05-11T17:06:55+00:00

If you’re single, that’s between you and your conscience—if you’re in a relationship, then I consider that cheating.

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Alert_Many_1196 · 2025-05-15T18:51:54+00:00

Because of how abusive it is. I honestly think it wouldn't be such an issue if so much of it wasn't abusive and violent. Also with the mgtow-if this was true and they were out of the market again this wouldn't be an issue but they are not I already got messages from 3 of them on the alt dating site I'm on. The op is willfully ignorant of reality.

Latter_Cranberry9384 · 2025-05-16T19:02:08+00:00

There’s a big conversation to be had here about the effects of porn, not just the “freedom” to consume it. Porn use might not physically harm someone else in the moment, but it absolutely reshapes how men view women, sex, and even themselves. Frequent porn use.. especially the algorithm fed, extreme content most popular today.. conditions men to get off to novelty and fantasy rather than intimacy and connection. Over time, this can literally change brain wiring, decreasing sensitivity to real life sexual experiences, increasing performance anxiety, and encouraging dissociation during intimacy. It makes men worse lovers, not better ones. And yes, it also deeply encourages objectification. Women become interchangeable body parts on a screen, stripped of agency or humanity. That mindset does bleed into real world behavior, even if it’s subtle. It impacts how some men approach dating, how they treat female friends, or even how they expect sex to look and feel. So the issue isn’t just “why do women care what men do in private?” The issue is: porn warps expectations, erodes emotional intimacy, fosters disconnection, and ultimately makes a lot of men less capable of healthy, reciprocal relationships. If women speak up about that, it’s not about being controlling. It’s about protecting themselves from a culture that too often treats them like fantasy fulfillment instead of people.

floracalendula · 2025-05-11T03:08:19+00:00

Let us say that if he is happy to be single, by all means he can keep watching porn and internalising the utterly selfish sexuality it espouses. Regrettably, there is such a thing as not being able to get it up with an actual woman when you're used to porn. If you want a relationship, learn to jack it to your own imagination.

Also, there are people hurt by porn. You don't know if that actress is trafficked (or even acting).

HotOutcome9161 · 2025-05-12T03:21:24+00:00

Because women are being abused and men could care less. The comments here are relly telling. Why is it that women know how abusive it is but men who cosume most of it seem ignorant? It‘s an open secret.

If you don‘t do the interview after a brutal scene and tell everyone how much you liked it, you are not getting paid.

It is common that women have to wear diapers for the rest of their lifes because of anal scenes they had to do.

A lot of women are traficked into it. But even if they are not, having to do the job because you couldnt afford healthcare otherwise is not really a choice.

That being said, there are a lot of ethical porn sources. But most men don‘t bother looking it up.

And since most men here can‘t comprehend that a woman can critisize male behaviour without being misandrist - I do realise women aren‘t perfect ethical creatures either. When it comes to fast fashion no body cares about human right anymore. I don‘t respect women who buy their 50th 5€ shirt either.

Manifestival1 · 2025-05-11T22:23:46+00:00

Are you really saying that watching porn is a viable substitute for actually having sex?

There's probably quite a variety of reasons but many are against porn in general because of how appallingly the women involved are treated. It's also heavily skewed towards the male gaze and often violent and degrading. A study by the British Criminology Society found that one in 5 titles on PornHub and other leading free porn websites contained a violent act that would be considered a sexual assault if occurring outside of the presupposed context of acting for the camera.

Say we know too well that women in porn videos are regularly forced into sexual acts that they didn't sign up for when initially taking the role. It's a horrible horrible industry.

Siukslinis_acc · 2025-05-11T15:38:17+00:00

When it is done in extreme (overconsumption), stuff comes out to the public life. If can influence how the person sees the other, how they talk (like use "dirty talk" in casual settings), what they show (like some might wear a shirt with ahegao faces in public), it can also create a fantasy that does not match reality and then the person get frustrated when the reality does not meet their imagination. Basically it can spill from private onto the public.

Ok-Source12 · 2025-05-12T11:38:38+00:00

Porn is psychological terrorism. You see women kneeling there like pigs or get fucked on all fours from male pov

Apocalypstik · 2025-05-12T10:13:17+00:00

Your assumption that it hurts nobody in the process is part of the reason you don't understand.

shallot55 · 2025-05-12T10:30:57+00:00

It's bad for your brain, it's bad when interacting with actual people and the industry itself is exploitative. I don't watch porn, don't want it and don't need it. I want a man who doesn't watch porn, or at least has the same views on it as I do.

Title	Why is male porn consumption so hated by some women?
Author	Fritzbox5000
Upvotes	73
Comments	234
Date	May 10, 2025 9:44 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1kjl76n/why_is_male_porn_consumption_so_hated_by_some/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-is-male-porn-consumption-so-hated-by-some.1551939 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551939

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