What are some things women dont understand about you?

MisterFunnyShoes · 2025-08-17T15:57:28+00:00

Peace is just as valuable as sex. And without both, a relationship makes no sense.

LofiStarforge · 2025-08-17T14:20:53+00:00

Study after study show women consistently downplay physical attraction and its downstream effects.

It’s so common now that looking through a social psych textbook for 2025 (which tend to be very feel goody) a good 2/3rds of interpersonal relationship chapter focuses on it.

anonymousppd123123 · 2025-08-17T16:01:30+00:00

Men respond much better to positive than negative reinforcement

Cunting results in a one way trip downwards of a mans willingness to commit

In a world filled with extremely basic women, men do look for things outside of looks. If you're finding that men only want you for your body, you should take a really good look at your value outside of that. Most women severely overrate themselves in this regard

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-08-17T16:13:38+00:00

-We do want to be complemented on our looks when we put in the effort

-We do want you to cum

the way a lot of girls think “it’s just a date” or “it’s just coffee” is a lot how a lot of us think of a hookup.

midnight_blue77 · 2025-08-18T05:50:45+00:00

Women don't seem to understand how fed up men are with them, including myself here.

Seriously, if it wasn't because we are literally biologically programmed, genetically, and neurologically hard wired - against our will - to be viscerally attracted to women, we would all just go our own separate way away from women without even blinking.

throwawaytradesman2 · 2025-08-17T14:37:41+00:00

What an odd post considering how much you don't care about the male perspective and how much you don't need men in your life.

But here goes....

I can eat the exact same food everyday. I can eat at home with the exact same pot of stew and I am just fine.

I can go to the exact same restaurant and order the exact same dish. It would not bother me at all, I dont get sick of it.

harmonica2 · 2025-08-17T14:05:04+00:00

I'm a guy who goes to the gym a lot and my girlfriend talks about how hot my muscles are unless of course that's not actually a big deal to her and she's just observing.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2025-08-17T21:36:08+00:00

--Men don't always want to have sex. Sometimes we're just not in the mood, just like women.

--Most single men want the same thing single women want. A meaningful relationship.

--We sometimes get erections for no reason and it doesn't mean we're always in the mood just because we have one. This is especially true in teens and young adults.

--Men aren't afraid of commitment...women are. 85% of divorces are initiated by women. Men are only afraid of marriage because we don't want a divorce to ruin us financially.

--We want special things done for us too. We need to feel loved and needed as much as women.

--We don't get over a break up overnight. We just hide it well. Depending on how lonh the relationship was, some of us will dwell on it for years, even if we don't want to admit it.

--We compair ourselves to other men just like women compair themselves with other women. We can get insecure about how we look too.

Downtown_Werewolf_44 · 2025-08-17T16:01:07+00:00

From a male perspective here's some of the things women don't seems to get:

-Even if they say the opposite, I know that the vast majority of women cares about my muscle. I'm not blind I see how they react when I take my shirt off. And I see that they are more attracted to my personality now that I'm good looking.

-N-count is important but not the way they think, it's more about the situations than an arbitrary number. A woman having a dozen of healthy past relationship is better than a woman burned down by a single toxic relationship with a guy she can't forget. In any case, who they slept with in the past has a lot of impact on them and tells a lot about their personality. denying that your past experience (not only sexual) has an impact on you is delusional.

-Women seems to not understand that a lot of younger girls are actively searching to date older guys. I have a few relationship with girls younger than me and in every case, they were the one initiating the flirt. All the manipulation and grooming things are vastly overblown.

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-08-17T14:17:10+00:00

not desiring a fat woman isn’t hatred. There are a ton of varieties of the female form that are sexy as hell, but there’s a line in the sand that becomes flat out gross and there’s nothing wrong with that being how myself or my dick functions. Fortunately, my wife has begun to understand now that she’s several months pregnant that gaining weight is not akin to obese and I’m still all over her.
in terms of sex, enthusiasm is the key ingredient. Life happens, dry spells happen, but if you’re always stoked when it comes time to throw down that’s going to make life easier for everyone. I tend to place some blame on men here who commit to women who are low desire from the jump and listen to the BS that more commitment will fix this. It won’t.
some problems that are recurring in your life (hate your job, conflict with others, etc) are things you should lean on your mother or friends to hear out if they are daily occurrences. They are more equipped to do the whole talk without a solution thing and allow you to get it out of your system. I say this because men and women decompress differently and there should be a healthy compromise in that regard. I like peace and quiet/the gym when I get home and my wife wants to vent about her day, so we have set times for her to get it out quickly and then I’ll have my time to chill out. Probably one of the healthiest things we did for our relationship early on.

Logos1789 · 2025-08-18T00:31:04+00:00

We can be madly infatuated with a woman, appreciate various aspects of her body and its whole, and still respect her as an autonomous human being

PattayaVagabond · 2025-08-17T16:11:50+00:00

It’s not easier for guys to get love/relationships. 90 percent of women who have shown interest in me only want to hookup. A large portion of those are women who are already married/partnered. I have much fewer options than women seem to think. My N number is a lot lower than women expect it to be. Most women seem to have no idea how lonely most men are or are just willfully ignorant.
A lot of us are not interested in casual sex. The guys who want casual sex are the same guys that approach every single woman they ever see so they’re just putting themselves out there more. You don’t hear about the relationship minded guys as much.
A lot of guys that you think are your friend are just trying to fuck you. Some women seem naive about it although I think they know it deep down

TopShelfSnipes · 2025-08-18T13:46:38+00:00

"Providing" Work is often just to make the money come in to lead the life we want. We don't want longer hours, our jobs to become our social circle, or to be the one who can't stop talking about "the job" off the clock. We resent society telling us to do so. Most of us believe in balance. We want equal partners, we don't want to be "providers" (aka ATM's) in the traditional sense. And with that, we want equal consideration.
"Vulnerability" We have feelings besides anger and indifference. We're selective about who gets to see, but we will let the right people in. We often struggle to express ourselves properly, especially when younger, and would benefit from more patience/grace at times.
"Protecting" We love being told that we make you feel safe. We hope we never end up in a life or death situation where we have to prove it, but if push came to shove we'd answer the call to the best of our ability. We'd do this for OUR woman (and kids) but not for strangers unless there were lower stakes.
"Friends with women" Some of us do legit enjoy having women as friends, and aren't just sidelining you until we inevitably "shoot our shot".
"Random interactions with strangers can add up and be demoralizing over time" Society often treats us like threats, or minimizes interactions to clipped "business only" discussions, particularly when we're alone. We almost never get compliments about things that aren't work related (and those don't feel like compliments).
"Sex" most of us value getting our partners off, and are actually turned on by it.
"Structure" Most of us like structure to some degree - from chores, to having a system for discussing things. If your guy "doesn't help" try having a discussion and agreeing on a chore schedule or dividing up responsibilities as a general rule. If a guy can't do even that, he's probably just lazy, and isn't going to be a good partner. This doesn't mean every minute of every day has to be planned out (I actually HATE this) but living together should involve a structure.
"Cuddles" We have no desire for same sex platonic cuddles. This isn't about "not being gay" (though there may be elements of that) it's just not a thing. A bro hug is basically the same as a handshake to us. Think of dude cuddles in the same psychosexual framework of "that isn't a pleasure center" as playing with a guy's nipples vs. playing with a woman's nipples. Men who are touch starved and want to feel soothed would rather snuggle a body pillow than another dude. Most of us LOVE cuddles from women though. There's something about them that's just chef's kiss.

Now the looks stuff...

"Body" We don't care about boob sizes as much as a lot of inexperienced men claim, or some women think. We don't tend to like flat chests, but bigger isn't always better. OTOH skin is really underrated in what we find attractive in women. Granted, most women already have a skincare routine, but this is rarely discussed relative to how important it is when considering looks.
"Style" A woman's style can have a significant impact on how she is perceived by different guys, even to the point that it can make an otherwise attractive woman unattractive. ("frumpy dresses", "pink hair", those very big circle glasses, etc.). Obviously, dress however you want, but for women looking to catch a guy's eye, this is useful info.

grown_folks_talkin · 2025-08-17T18:43:55+00:00

Women don't understand the extent to which our minds are compartmentalized. Desire for sex, desire for a romantic relationship, for male platonic friendships, female platonic friendships are all in separate boxes. Hanging out with family does not in one iota address any desire for sex or romantic relationships. Not even a little bit. Or vice versa.

I am damn near aromantic at this point, but I am still very capable of respecting FWB partners even if I will never want to pursue anything "further".

For better or worse, if you're in the lower 90% of men in LMS, the lack of overt sexual attention, the degree to which even a guy in the top 10%-20% can be a fly on a wall. Sometimes women understand the upsides to this, which for an introvert like me do exist.

Since guys have to make the first move, in a platonic friendship that has “tension” it's up to us to escalate. Sometimes it's better to keep the friendship than take the test on whether I've read the hints correctly. We see value in platonic frienships with women too.

Ego73 · 2025-08-17T15:13:11+00:00

Women ard terrible arbiters of who men find attractive. This is why they insist a man saying any female celebrity is mid has to be negging. Men don't owe anyone our attraction.

They also seem to think it's attractive to wear copious amounts of make up. It's not, unless the guy is coulrophilic.

RedPillDad · 2025-08-18T01:38:47+00:00

A woman's body count is the inverse of a man's bank account balance. Lower the better versus higher the better. Women are treated as sex objects just as men are treated as success objects. All that is superficial and should barely matter, but we live in a superficial world so it does.

Zabadoodude · 2025-08-17T16:22:37+00:00

As a muscular older guy happily in a relationship with a younger woman: women don't seem to understand that just because they personally don't like something, it doesnt mean other women share their preference.

Also, we understand you don't care about your past. We do.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-08-17T18:52:45+00:00

I would say women generally don't understand that men know pretty quickly if they want to marry or have a long term relationship with a woman. If a long time pass and there isn't a label or there isn't plans for the future, the man is stringing the woman along
Men are taught from a young age to shut down their emotions. Romantism, emotional intimacy and vulnerability are foreign concepts from anothe dimension for a lot of us. So it's hard to expect a man being masculine + having a lot of emotional intelligence
The income, status, confidence, experience of a woman isn't that important. I have seen some women who don't understand why they lose against a less experienced woman sometimes

WebNew9978 · 2025-08-17T17:10:15+00:00

Your (women) physical flaws such as stretch marks, tummy pooch, stretch marks, sag don’t really matter to us as you think it does. If we find you attractive those things won’t matter to us.

Having a romantic/sexual life is really important to us. Yes you realize but I don’t think you (women) realize just how important it is to us. We really can’t live without it. Well we can but we don’t do well without it.

We want to have a good time with sex it but we also want you to have a good time as well. There’s apart of us that feels sad when you don’t. Those who don’t feel that way are indeed selfish.

We want to desired. We want a woman or multiple women to look at us and say “I want to be with them”. We get really sad when we see everyone else have a woman who finds them in that way but not us.

We also have emotions and feelings as well. We certainly are willing to be vulnerable/open to you but we don’t because we’ve been told not to and when we do, we get taken advantage of it.

experienta · 2025-08-17T14:23:25+00:00

I mean you first ask a very general question about men/women and then you proceed to talk about things that I at least hope you realize are very, very specific things about you specifically, because I promise you women do care about a man's weight and they definitely don't have a "visceral disgust reaction" to an older man that's actually attractive. If you think the average 20yo woman looks at 44yo Chris Evans in disgust idk what to tell you.

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deletbait · 2025-08-17T16:50:30+00:00

Are you asking for things women don't understand about me or men in general?

RelevantEscape4535 · 2025-08-17T18:30:59+00:00

A lot of physical insecurities aren’t warranted. Men usually don’t notice the details ; it’s just hot or not.Women are more critical and notice flaws men overlook, so they often get confused thinking their lens is the same as a man’s.

I think another reason this happens is because the compare themselves to women that very high value men have and take it as law.

Ultramega39 · 2025-08-17T18:59:03+00:00

I generally am more afraid of women than I am of men just because of past experiences with bullying and physical abuse. This also means that I find it easier to trust other men than women.
The reasons why I have such high standards for relationships have to do with not wanting to end up getting divorced like my parents and also due to me being on the asexual spectrum. I'm just not easily amused by women and am okay with being single for the rest of my life. This does also mean that I'm completely against the idea of hooking up with someone.

AreOut · 2025-08-17T19:53:38+00:00

"I dont care about a mans weight or how much he works out, I only care about face and personality. "

Most women do tho and it's not shallow. People should be able to take care of their health.

Substantial_Video560 · 2025-08-18T14:30:16+00:00

I've no idea as I don't ask them. Who knows?

awakening_7600 · 2025-08-18T18:03:03+00:00

-Why I desire sex so much or how it even works. They'll never understand because their hormones don't work like ours. Our hormone system is a pulsatile secretion making sex drive intense and a daily desire.

-Why I physically cannot enjoy sitting down and watching movies/TV/soap operas. In particular, women seem to NEVER can understand why I think they're such a waste of time.

Routine_Condition273 · 2025-08-18T22:12:34+00:00

Men share their feelings and emotions with other men all the time, we have just been conditioned to hide it from women.

SteveSan82 · 2025-08-20T04:20:57+00:00

We don’t care about your career or masters degree.

Only time women approached me was when I had muscles. And women rarely approach.

Intelligent-Insight · 2025-08-20T20:43:44+00:00

Just to build off what you listed:

-I dont care about a mans weight or how much he works out, I only care about face and personality. Men think women care about muscles. In fact guys who gym are seen as a negative because it generally means their personality is rubbish (inflated ego).

Men don't really care how successful or whatever you are. They also don't care if your looks are not perfect. If they love spending time with you, then they like you for who you are.

-I dont care about my n count, guys seem to care but i dont think about past sexual encounters, it literally has zero impact on my life who i slept with in the past.

Men care about your count. Think of a visceral disgust you mentioned below. It doesn't matter that you don't care, why would men need to know that or how would it affect their view? It's like old men don't care about the age difference but you are disgusted and apparently it doesn't help that they don't care.

-Men also dont understand women often have a visceral disgust reaction when old guys are interested in us sexually. Young women dont look at older men sexually.

Men have visceral disgust to certain women as well. They are not intimidated. They also have a bad reaction when a woman who has seen other men purely sexually now expects more from them.

James_M_Croft · 2025-08-17T14:39:40+00:00

Men do not appreciate disrespectful, arrogant, combative, hostile or loud personalities in women. Women who say they do are just mistaking the attention it gets you with interest. But attention is not interest. Use a neon colored glow in the dark pink dress or scream about the giant spaguetti monster and you will get as much attention with considerably less disliking for your personality.
Men choose women based on personality too, and will like a woman for their personality and behavior in general too, many good relationships are based on that. But if a woman has terrible personality men do not cut contact with them, they turn her in the "fuck zone". They will remain around her for the opportunity of sex as her body has value even if her personality does not. Some will even be "friends" in hopes of getting some sex (friendzoned guys of women with a terrible personality). So in most cases where women scream that "men want women for their bodies" or that "he only wanted my body" is usually, in men's eyes a woman whose personality (or more likely, mental illness) is seriously affecting her chances with men for more than their bodies. And may make her into a "fuck zone" girl by default as she shown her body is the only real thing that is worthwhile in her.
Many women scream that "they don't get what they want if they do what men want". It is in part because they either go full on "will let him step on her" or "will step on him". Talk to men as equals, and you shall get what you need, men are not mind readers and simply put? hate trying to guess. To come to an agreement directly while sitting down and not doing anything else, as to set the expectations for each in a relationship is required. You cannot let everything to guess, and if you do, you are asking for trouble.
Men's sex drive is a need. just like hunger, it is a bodily function and we have zero choice in the matter. You suffer if you don't satisfy it, simple as that. And like hunger, you can ignore it if there are other priorities, certain things like sickness and health affect it, it has its quirks as to what is acceptable to satisfy it and we have a control over it to a certain degree in the form of ignoring it or not. Repeating the "it is not a need because you won't die from it" or worse, cutting access to it without a serious reason is lying and abuse, respectfully. Do not make things harder than it needs to be and accept each other if you want to build a good relationship.

"not all men, not all women, yadda yadda yadda"

Alone_Ambition_3729 · 2025-08-17T14:47:09+00:00

If a guy says you’re “cute” he’s not damning you with faint praise. It’s much easier for a cute girl to suddenly be a baddie by dressing and acting the part, than for a baddie suddenly be cute.

Rebexl5150 · 2025-08-17T18:36:59+00:00

Nothing women understand nothing about men. As a man you have to realize that women live a totally different life than men. A man's struggles a woman will never understand nor never sympathize with because she'll never have to go through it. A man must become as for women just are. That quote will pretty much explain as to why women don't understand men.

wtknight · 2025-08-17T16:24:10+00:00

My wife understands everything tied to my maleness. If she didn't, then I don't think that we would be together for as long as we have been. I think that she, and women from her country in general, are more realistic when it comes to their expectations for men than western women are. Our differences that do exist are really more personality related than masculinity/femininity related.

I do see things in social media that other women don't understand about men, though, such as thinking that a man isn't attracted to her if he shows any interest in another woman at all, for instance.

SexCrispies · 2025-08-17T20:14:34+00:00

Women understand things about me because i am able to explain them to them in an understandable way. They might not share my views or have my preferences or cognitive fuction preferences, but they can understand me, get me.

I could explain how "guys who gym/dont gym" is too much of a binary category and that you strayed from telling us what men dont understand about YOU to what men dont understand about WOMEN. Falsely assuming that other women majorily or completely share your lack of enthusiasm for "muscles" (again, not a 0/1 dichotomy). Science shows that medium amount of muscles and low body fat (10-12%) are preferred on average. Most men only get that from going to the gym, because most men's daily life doesn't involve other forms of physical activity that would lead to this kind of muscles.

You don't seem to understand that men understand how most young women have visceral disgust in old men being sexually interested in them. The world doesnt revolve around young women and men can't change their sexuality. Be disgusted all you want. We can't/don't care enough to rationally change our behavior, that our body and brain suggests to us.

Alwaysnthered · 2025-08-18T01:02:20+00:00

1) a lot of men who are going after casual sex have been burned and really truly don’t like it. They are just being avoidant.

2) noticed the comment about “young women just don’t like older men”. As a women, I’m surprised you don’t understand that women can have varied tastes. I’m almost 40. I mostly get hit on by women in their mid twenties to Lower thirties. Three women I slept with 2 summers ago were 23, 24, and 26. They knew my age. You’d be surprised as to how many younger women like older men. One my female friends is 31 and dated men in their 50s.

Title	What are some things women dont understand about you?
Author	Glowupgirl111
Upvotes	15
Comments	180
Date	August 17, 2025 2:03 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1msrqpv/what_are_some_things_women_dont_understand_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-some-things-women-dont-understand-about.1559807 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559807

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