Men, could you go without love if all other traditional desires were met?

ComfortableJeans · 2025-12-11T11:30:22+00:00

Not at all.

A romantic relationship with a woman who doesn't love me fills me with a deep sense of patheticness.

If being unloved is cyanide, then being stuck in a relationship with a woman who does not love me is arsenic.

They are different ways to live, but they're both possessions, will make me feel terribly, and neither is a cure for the other.

- submits to/performs sex at an acceptable frequency for you

The idea of duty sex makes my skin crawl. I would not be able to enjoy sex with someone who views it as a chore. The idea gives me such a pitiful feeling of unattractiveness and inadequacy. I've only had sex with women I was in love with. I've had offers for sex outside of that, but without that level of closeness that love brings, I don't really want to.

- all cooking and domestic chores. She would not work outside of the home.

I mean, this shit isn't that hard. I do it myself. I guess it would be nice not to have to do those kinds of things anymore, but the price is too steep.

- birthing and raising a couple of kids, if you desire

I don't really want kids, I don't think. But if I did, I would never have them with someone who wasn't in love with me. And, you know, vice versa.

- complete sexual fidelity to you and no other

I mean, that comes with love. Or hopefully, anyway. And I still have the same issues as I did in the previous sex based point.

This all sounds like less of a relationship, and more a maid that you fuck. Which is probably great for some people, but I don't want that. It just gives me a gross feeling.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-12-11T12:54:09+00:00

No, even when I was out there partying and pulling, you start to want more. A real connection with someone who you want to think about when they aren’t around and they think about you.

As I’ve told people here before, my real Christmas present is that 45 minutes on Christmas morning before the girls are up, when it’s just me and my wife enjoying coffee together and reflecting how lucky we are to have found each other and be living the life we have

LysanderAegis · 2025-12-11T11:44:51+00:00

No, I want genuine desire, not a robot.

Podlubnyi · 2025-12-11T16:11:29+00:00

No - in this scenario you may as well just get a sex robot, because everything else she offers (apart from birthing children), I can do for myself anyway.

anonymousppd123123 · 2025-12-11T12:12:36+00:00

Yes. I dont need someone else's love to validate my existence

Like someone else said, she needs to sell it in social situations so people aren't asking why im with her

ChicagoFaucet · 2025-12-11T14:39:48+00:00

No. Not at all. The enthusiasm and wanting to be in a relationship is the big part. Wanting to do those things for/with me is the important part - not the acts themselves.

Gravel_Roads · 2025-12-11T11:12:43+00:00

No, I’d rather have an untraditional relationship where we both love each other than a “traditional” one without love.

Icy-Gene7565 · 2025-12-11T12:50:09+00:00

She sounds like a salaried employee..

40k including room and board. 30 day terms

UnpredictableDemise8 · 2025-12-11T11:58:05+00:00

Nah wouldn't want that. Also our kids would be fucked up probably. Don't think they turn out to be healthy human beings if their parents don't love each other and are only together because of money.

WebNew9978 · 2025-12-11T15:43:36+00:00

That all sounds miserable for the man and woman in said relationship like that. Like it’s something that I could easily see the women pull the plug on life if that was her only option to get away from it.

As far as answering your question, my answer would be no.

DGenerationMC · 2025-12-11T16:16:26+00:00

I'm sure I could but, goddamn, that sounds like a dark place to be.

The headspace needed or that it produces would scare me.

Inomaker · 2025-12-11T18:11:28+00:00

Personally no. I'd be fine with completely removing sex and just having the loving relationship.

Perfect_Sir4820 · 2025-12-11T20:10:42+00:00

Other than the children part this pretty much just describes being a bachelor and dating casually + hiring someone for domestic labor (cheaper than a wife). It works for a lot of people.

SeemedGood · 2025-12-11T15:19:48+00:00

☝️False dichotomy of the most egregious sort.

PrecisionHat · 2025-12-11T17:04:33+00:00

RP men want love from their long term partners just as much as any other man.

You're kind of setting this all up to make it seem like RP men, or maybe even men in general, don't care about love even if an arrangement like you described is something they would do.

Pretty much all guys will answer yes, but they'd prefer she wasn't indifferent to them. And most guys would not want some slave doing all the shit to make the relationship/household/family work. You want almost every man's dream scenario? A LOVING partner who is attractive and as committed to the relationships as he is, enjoys sex a few times a week. That's it.

Some guys would take the deal you're suggesting simply because they've been jaded by awful partners in the past and would love to have all that stuff taken care of without having to invest in another woman like they did before. Others simply see your scenario as better than anything they are likely to get irl because they aren't in the top 50% of guys looks wise or status wise.

I don't blame those guys at all for taking the deal you're offering.

Any-Feature-4057 · 2025-12-11T13:02:07+00:00

You can clearly see most man here aren’t that experienced towards women. Because if they are, most of them would’ve answered

That question doesn’t make any sense

To do that without love aka physical attraction is almost impossible. The mental capacity for women to do that for 30 years straight is unbearable. Every wrongdoings that the man do, will eventually turn into resentment and disgust

Imagine your body being touched by someone you disgust for 30 years straight. If I were in that position, I’m gonna kill myself

Kingcrow33 · 2025-12-11T12:45:39+00:00

Honestly I would take that over my current situation but it is not ideal. I much rather have a loving relationship.

SmirchaelMiconish · 2025-12-11T16:05:07+00:00

This is most relevant to men whose alternative is being alone. I'd choose alone in that scenario. I hope I would anyway.

Ego73 · 2025-12-11T16:48:39+00:00

Sure. Fuck it, it's only the first condition that I care about (and that she desires me, of course).

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2025-12-11T18:07:59+00:00

Absolutely. 100%

Luminous_Face_42 · 2025-12-11T18:39:06+00:00

My take is that most red pillers would be into this, but won't say it. Their actions betray them. A lot of women would be into this too. Anybody who talks about dating in such transactional terms or talks about "traditional" this and that are all people poisoned to the idea of loving somebody. Add one-sided open relationship and you'd have described A LOT of celebrity marriages, or marriages with very high SMV men, which TRP is focused on becoming. Simple as that imo.

eluusive · 2025-12-11T20:22:18+00:00

Yes. Does she have a sense of humor, or is she just a robot?

Just-Path-5838 · 2025-12-11T22:34:02+00:00

Sounds like where a lot of marriages end up anyway, except without all these guarantees, so why not.

Love is a privilege, it's not a guarantee, lots of people never really get it.

Popeoath · 2025-12-11T22:49:19+00:00

No as she'd be depriving herself of the opportunity to find love.

Substantial_Video560 · 2025-12-11T23:14:53+00:00

Sure! I've lived without romantic love for 41 years so could easily live another 30+ years without it.

Being somewhat of a loner I only socialize every now and then, most of the time doing pretty much everything by myself. That's a way of life for me and not one I have too much of a problem with tbh

If I ever want my desires met I'll just book an escort. I've been doing that since I was 29, so it's an arrangement that works for me. Less so as I've got older mind as I don't feel the need to do it as much anymore.

PattayaVagabond · 2025-12-12T23:02:44+00:00

No - what would be the point without love.

Pleasant-Toe8878 · 2025-12-11T11:40:24+00:00

Yes. Long-lasting and successful relationships are not built on love, they are built on gratitude to each other.

Dertross · 2025-12-11T14:25:09+00:00

Uh, yes? Having need for sex fulfilled without love is better than having neither. 30 khhv incel by the way.

StopTheIncels · 2025-12-11T15:53:02+00:00

This is basically the 'dream' maid sex-bot minus the waifu software.

As you describe it, a complete robot? No.

But if she was updated with waifu software, and as stated in the thread if she can sell the public image that she is a loving and caring wife and mother, yes.

Again, why the fuck do women always leave out the looks department? Is she also a supermodel/centerfold or just some random becky?

Barely-moral · 2025-12-11T11:24:04+00:00

Yes. It would be enough.

I want reliable actions more than I want fickle feelings.

If the role I need filled is filled the reasons why it is filled are not important.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2025-12-11T11:11:38+00:00

would you take it if you knew, without question, that she felt indifferent to you?

Yeah, since it would have no difference.

pleddyd · 2025-12-11T11:09:38+00:00

I don't believe in love, so yeah

kongeriket · 2025-12-11T12:56:05+00:00

I certainly would've taken this arrangement 20 years ago if the quest to finding a loving wife would've lasted for much longer. Two kids is better than zero.

Would I take it now? Maybe? Another two kids does sound appealing ngl. And I've had my share of love.

I'm trying to sus out if there are any "romantic" aspirations in these ideologies or if it's mostly function/role driven

It's an individual thing, not a RP/BP thing. There are plenty of blue pillers who seek or are in arrangements similar to what you describe.

Having romantic aspirations is a matter of personality (a lot of it genetic) a lot more than chosen ideas.

DietTyrone · 2025-12-11T11:36:36+00:00

Considering there's women out here claiming to love a man yet won't fulfill even half that list, I'd probably say yeah.

Though, she can't make it obvious that she doesn't love me. Like if a woman is going to play to role till death and expect loyalty from the guys end too, she should at least be able to believably sell being in love with her man and enjoying sex with him. Even if you speculate that she must be around for the lifestyle.

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-12-11T14:20:37+00:00

Knowing that men and women define love differently, how would that "lack of love" manifest externally? Complete indifference at all times? I can get an actual live-in bangmaid for less money than it would cost to have a wife. I don't get one for the same reason I wouldn't want an indifferent wife.

PoeticMoose619 · 2025-12-11T14:28:26+00:00

I'd say no. While that offer seems enticing on the surface, I'd prefer a woman who does the aforementioned things because she has genuine romantic interest in me, as opposed to doing them based on what I can do for her.

Also, what happens if, in the scenario you mentioned, I can no longer provide the lifestyle she's accustomed to? What if I were to lose half of my income? Would she still give me all of those things? Reduce the frequency or quality? Leave altogether?

... Nothing is certain, but the idealist in me believes that if a relationship is based on mutual desire and romantic passion, I don't think a woman would necessarily bounce due to circumstances beyond our control.

EugeneCezanne · 2025-12-11T14:53:14+00:00

Nope.

You also cannot cheat.

Why not, if she's indifferent towards me?

riceboykr · 2025-12-11T17:59:14+00:00

Can't cheat? Then pass.

happybaby00 · 2025-12-11T18:21:47+00:00

No cheating is a drag tho

OkOutlandishness6370 · 2025-12-11T23:59:31+00:00

I'd be good with it. A woman can love you and still wildly fuck you over. Love is extremely over-rated. My ex wife, at some point, loved me. It meant nothing in the long run because feelings fluctuate whereas her shitty, mediocre character was a constant. A llfe built around emotions is a castle built on quicksand.

I have much more respect for a woman who is (like me) bitterly, angrily devoted and has an iron will to stoically see through tasks that she's committed to (like marriage) even if it takes the rest of her life and even if means endless misery and suffering (like my life has become). Than one who essentially "got lucky" and just found a man who happens to bring out the best in her, but if he didn't she would stab him in the back.

A woman with morals, principles and integrity regardless of her transient unimportant emotional state is a rare gem. Principles matter. Honor matters. Almost nothing else in life actually matters. Long suffering embittered diehard saints who give and give and empty themselves out into their chosen life's goal regardless of how they happen to feel on the subject on a given day are the only people who matter. Everyone else is just a puppet chasing emotional highs, a product of their dna strand pulling biochemical strings and making them dance to the deterministic evopsych tune. Everyone is movable by the id.

A woman who is her own mistress rather than slave to her hormones? Her stone cold, gritted-teeth, unkillable dedication to me which transcends any emotion is worth more than a billion untested ingenues and their so-called "love" that dies in the first hard cold breeze of winter.

Bouldershoulders12 · 2025-12-11T13:34:39+00:00

Yes. Respect and all the other trinkets matter more imo. Love to me is all in the actions. Not a fleeting emotion.

Main-Tiger8537 · 2025-12-11T11:41:17+00:00

no...

im not conservative and do not care about traditional...

Vaudeville_Clown · 2025-12-11T12:43:50+00:00

No, I absolutely wouldn't want to be with someone who completely corners the home making position.

That would undermine my own image of competence. She'd out-shine me then in a way that's much too thorough and too obvious, and we certainly can't have that.

I guess that makes the question moot but about indifference, I don't see it working in the absolute sense. Being somewhat, but not completely indifferent, it can be fine though. That happens a lot in long relationships, especially when kids enter the picture, as they get more important than your partner.

I consider that totally normal.

wtknight · 2025-12-11T13:31:05+00:00

Your interactions are civil, if a bit bland.

Yeah, I couldn’t do it because of this one. Otherwise, if the choice were between what you describes and either being alone or with someone who I’m not attracted to, then sure, I could do it. However, I need to at least be able to have some intellectual conversations with my partner or things would get very dull very quickly.

YeaNobody · 2025-12-11T23:24:22+00:00

Yes, no, maybe? Not contentless rhetoric....sincerely do not know. Maybe this would work, maybe it'd be too weird. I do know that even now, you can talk to AI and get colorful replies. The way you frame this scenario....you'd never say anything more then "yea" or "no" lol.

Content_Concert_2555 · 2025-12-11T23:26:44+00:00

No. Once you go true love you never go back.

AscendingRogue · 2025-12-11T23:44:02+00:00

Today? I could live like this. That said, being in a loving relationship is one of the most treasured experiences of my life. I don't think my life would have felt complete had I not had that previously.

BigMadLad · 2025-12-12T01:07:48+00:00

To me it depends on if I truly believe I’m unlovable. If so, then yes, if not, then no

FatGimp · 2025-12-11T11:21:48+00:00

Nah, not for me.

TheOneWhoThinketh · 2025-12-11T18:31:38+00:00

I've had something like that before, and the lack of love killed the sexual desire. Even though I would have said no regardless, the only way a situation like this could exist is if it is the woman's fantasy, not the man's.

Having a bangmaid is blackpiller's sexual fantasy because they are unable to comprehend the emotional upkeep required to maintain such a situation, due to having little or no experience with women, particularly in relationships.

Cultures across the world have historically had arranged marriages in the manner you described above, but this required suppressing the woman's sexual desires, and weren't always successful in doing so.

Free-Comfort6303 · 2025-12-11T11:56:50+00:00

I think what you listed will only appeal to men with no experience with women.

Women don't love men.

Women love what a man can do for them. Short-term love can be experienced by very handsome men, but it doesn't last, mostly because at the end of the day, a woman will ask:

"Yes, you are handsome, but what else can you do?" Handsome men live good lives until they are playing multiple women, but when they settle down, they crash and burn.

Most of my super handsome male friends are alcoholics for a reason. These men still manage to pick up women even when they are already married, but most of them aren't living great lives. I don't think drinking a lot and being depressed constitutes a good life.

It's true that a half-capable, handsome guy can go very far with a woman, but in the end, a relationship with a woman can be boring. Other than sex, what can a woman do for a man?

Cooking is something a man can learn quickly. Cleaning? Men can do it faster, and once they learn organizational skills, they don't need to do it very often.

Once you have kids, most women stop thinking about their husbands. For a woman, her family and friends come before her man.

Sex? Handsome or fit men have no problem getting random women.

A man who isn't handsome but makes decent money through trade or a job can still pay to get action from broke college women in college towns.

Ultimately, a man can either live for himself or live for the family. If he's responsible, a woman will keep extracting from him until she can no more.

This means she will compare her outfits to her friend's and want the same or better designer ones. She will compare her car to her friend's car. She will almost never be satisfied with what she already has or what her man can provide. So, the man will always need to work harder, earn more, buy more, and spend more to keep her happy. It's a hamster wheel where the end result is the man dying at work.

If you buy a house, she will want a bigger and better one.

It's possible that you'll end up in divorce court, losing your assets, and ending up alone. You'll then see her enjoy her life with another man, all on your dime. But most likely, you'll still be content, knowing life with her wasn't easy.

Fragrant-Half4762 · 2025-12-11T11:28:57+00:00

Yes totally, its functional, i doubt most men care about love, many would probably be happy if they could get the scenario you described.

James_M_Croft · 2025-12-11T13:11:50+00:00

Hypothetically? Yes, I am fine with no love. Realistically? No.

Women feel. They don't do. To do without emotion is in the realm of men. I just could never believe a woman would do anything positive to anyone while being indifferent. It goes against everything of what women are. Only men are able to be this unemotional, reasonable and methodical.

It's uncertain that any woman will be doing any one of these things to the man she loves for more than a few months thanks to the fickleness of emotions. It would be naive to expect her to do all of them while being indifferent. I would be sure she would betray me in less than a year. So I wouldn't take it realistically. Women dont give. They just take. The best a man can do is to fool her intodoing what you want.

If it was possible, I wish to experience a romantic relationship like in books, where both actually like eag other and does to each other what they want. I just don't think it's possible. It's silly to imagine a woman is able to give, and not just take. Women need to be fooled into being useful. There is no other way around it. I already overcame the anger phase, I can accept women for who they are. As a drawback. I can never treat women as men again.

growframe · 2025-12-11T11:06:37+00:00

b0f0s0f · 2025-12-11T22:39:30+00:00

It's fundamentally impossible to "perform sex" with someone you're indifferent towards. Even degenerates who have casual sex with strangers are feeling dopaminergic lust and novelty from their partner, let alone a real couple in a relationship whose sex is an expression of their profound long term reproductive bond

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2025-12-11T14:26:40+00:00

Nope. I want a woman who loves me and sees getting penetrated by my cock as an essential part of her happiness and fulfillment (i.e., getting filled by my fullness, as is right there in the word). Fortunately, I have that. If a woman doesn't find your dick inspiring, beautiful, and glorious, I consider that a major red flag.

EDIT: I'll take bets on whether my downvote comes from a cock tolerator or a tolerated cock-possessor.

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Title	Men, could you go without love if all other traditional desires were met?
Author	AlmondMilkMaybe
Upvotes	29
Comments	202
Date	December 11, 2025 11:05 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1pjuv16/men_could_you_go_without_love_if_all_other/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-could-you-go-without-love-if-all-other.1568558 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568558

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