How do BP/RP/PP women and men feel about who pays on dates in the pre-relationship phase? How does that decision impact you?

PMmeareasontolive · 2021-05-26T16:36:45+00:00

I've had a couple of women order food then realize they "forgot their wallet omg!" It's pretty much a disqualifier (tho at least one of those women had no intention of there being a second date either I'm sure).

Aldabruzzo · 2021-05-26T15:17:42+00:00

All I know is that most men will pick up the check most of the time because they know that if they don't, there probably won't be another date. They also know that if they don't, they're probably not getting laid.

Unless they're Chad, in which case all bets are off and there was no check to split.

wtknight · 2021-05-26T17:26:31+00:00

Whoever asks the other person out should pay for the first date, in my opinion. Her expecting to split on a date in which she asks me out would be a red flag, but not a dealbreaker. I’d offer to pay if the woman were a student or unemployed, though, and if I had a job. Her expecting me to pay on a date in which she asks me out in a situation where she has a job is a dealbreaker.

For dates after the first, if the woman isn’t working, then I’d pay. Otherwise, I think the date should be split.

I’d never do more for a first date than go out for coffee or something similar. I don’t really care if it makes me seem cheap, because I am cheap, and she’d be getting the wrong impression of me if I pretended that I was the type of guy who likes to splurge. Of course, once I’m in a relationship then I’d be willing to spend a little more money on a woman who I was into.

CockAFuckityFuck · 2021-05-26T15:54:07+00:00

I can see why men would be appreciative of it. That being said you are an exception definitely not the rule. My experience has been that my date either looks away and pretends she does not notice the check or does the old fumbles for her purse with a token let's split it - which in most cases is a first date shit test.

thevghr · 2021-05-26T15:41:54+00:00

Totally depends on the situation that I am in. If I am a student, which I really am, I usually prefer to split the bill. It doesn't have anything to do with my masculinity. I don't feel insecure about that. But I believe, if I am making enough money and ask a woman out on a date. I would definitely pay for the date if the date goes well. If it doesn't, then would split the bill and split my path with her. No harm in doing that.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-05-26T15:38:42+00:00

If you are looking to get laid at some point, LTR or ONS, always, always always pick up the check if you are a guy.

And you pick up the check like you don't even care, put your card in the check holder while still talking about something else.

It says I don't care, I'm dominant and is the same reason why so many people try to sell you stuff by giving you little things or buying you lunch or even giving you a little nothing gift to get you to make a donation.

This is a well studied phenomena, people are more likely to agree to something that may cost them MUCH more and have more value than the gift out of a tit for tat sort of reflex. IIRC they tested this by having a sit down about something else, and then trying to sell raffle tickets for a local event. One group prior to selling the tickets they offered a free soft drink in the meeting the other they didn't. At the end they tried to sell the tickets, and while I forget the number there was a significantly larger number of purchases in the soda/pop/coke group than the other and the cost was far greater than a soft drink. This has been studied elsewhere but I don't recall all of those details.

You are looking for a possible life long relationship, thats worth the risk of a meal at a mid level restaurant.

Likewise if I were a woman I'd insist on paying at least my part of it, it will elevate that evolved tit for tat response, assert you are not impressed by money (even if you actually are) and change the dynamic.

LittyKitsune · 2021-05-26T15:40:21+00:00

I would pay my own way if guys let me. Since high school when I first started dating my mom always sent me with enough cash to cover everything, even it it was established that the guy wanted to pay for me. She would just tell me to bring back what I didn't use. She also told me to be mindful of the price of what I ordered, if I wanted something more expensive on the menu we could go as a family later.

Every guy I've dated has insisted on paying for the initial dates though. Short of smacking the credit card out of his hand Idk what I can do about that. But I at least try to make the investment worth his while by focusing on him, keeping the conversation lively, and keeping my cell phone to the side. Sex isn't an option, but I make that clear well before the first date.

Kizka · 2021-05-26T16:36:57+00:00

I don't really care. I always have money on me and offer to go dutch, most of the time the men offered to pay. My SO always heavily insisted on paying when we went on our first dates, maybe because at that time he was already working and I was still studying. But he was also just quite traditional in that sense and didn't let me pay even if I wanted to. Over the years he mellowed down though. Although he still insists on paying most of the times when we go out, nowadays I have more chances of taking on the check. Idk, I assume it has more to do with his ego than with anything else because it never was that important to me but of course it's still very sweet. Also, all these years later, we still say thank you to the other for paying and the one who pays says "Thank you for going out with me".

Iluvalmonds83 · 2021-05-26T18:11:53+00:00

I was and am will forever be a fan of everyone pays for their own stuff, except for special occasions or situations where the other person is insisting on covering your tab or treating you out for an event. This is how I operate with friends when going out as a group; I see no reason to change that dynamic during a date or outing with a romantic partner.

Specific-Mall-9972 · 2021-05-27T09:17:34+00:00

It’s interesting that a lot of men are saying that if the woman expects you to pay she’s a gold digger and not worth the money. I will say that when it comes time to pay the check I’m less concerned about whether or not I’m going to ultimately pay it or part of it and more concerned with how the conversation is going to go down. I don’t consider it to be “losing” if I end up paying the Bill or if the guy ends up paying the whole thing, I consider it “losing” if the conversation about it gets awkward or turns into a mini argument. Because the main thing I’m looking for in a potential partner is going to be how easily we communicate and navigate issues like this. I come to the date willing to pay because I think it’s the kind of thing that could be well worth the money. And the discussion over the check is never going to be more important than all the conversation we had before that, the real substance of the date.

mechanical_elves · 2021-05-26T16:17:34+00:00

Just get her thoughts on gender equality during the date. Problem solved.

Most intelligent, progressive women I've dated actually WANTED to pay for themselves.

geometersbane · 2021-05-26T15:30:11+00:00

Saving a few bucks isn't worth the risk of her losing attraction.

PurplePill_Throwaway · 2021-05-26T15:31:32+00:00

I would always offer to split the bill and pay our own way, regardless of whether I wanted a second date or not. If he offers to pay and genuinely wants to, I allow him to and thank him, but then I would like to pay the next time if possible. I don’t push it because I don’t want to come across as the “strong independent woman” type.

Thatshygurl · 2021-05-26T15:39:14+00:00

I don’t even know which pill I’d consider myself, probably purple. That being said I’m very admit about splitting the bill, I think it’s just normal especially if you aren’t together yet. I would feel pressure to pay them back or give them something if he covered my tab. So I’d rather just pay for my food or split the bill 50/50. Even if they offered I would still insist(hope that’s not seen as rude?)

Once we started actually going steady I think it’s nice that either them or I cover the bill and switch every now and then, like ok you got last dinner, this ones on me.

towerofcheeeeza · 2021-05-26T18:53:04+00:00

25f Always offer to split. If the guy insists on covering the meal, offer to buy drinks or dessert or the next one. If you're like weirdly insistent that it be 50/50, they might think you're trying to friendzone them or send them a message that you're not interested, so I usually just offer once or twice but if they keep insisting on paying, I won't say no.

SunshineSundress · 2021-05-26T20:14:49+00:00

I’m pretty RP as a woman with a few moments of purple. While I always offer to split the bill, most the men I’ve dated have insisted that they pay for the first date. I offer the same thing on the second date and while a few accept, most of them continue to insist to pay. If I knew I wasn’t interested in a third date, I would insist on splitting.

My current partner pays for all of our dates, vacations, and expenses. I never expected him to, but he always insists. It’s probably a cultural thing, and probably due to the fact that he’s worth about 3000x more me 😂 However, when I cook for him, I pay for all the groceries I get.

honeydewmelonz · 2021-05-26T22:25:23+00:00

I never offer to pay anything. Money never comes up when a man asks me to go in a date. If I’m going out with a friend, I’ll pay for myself unless he’s already paid for me. I’d never split the bill with a guy who’s interested in me because I have enough friends.

IcarusKiki · 2021-05-27T01:10:46+00:00

For the first date I would def be turned off if the guy didn’t offer to pay. Afterwards we take turns

ourrapistiswaybetter · 2021-05-27T11:46:25+00:00

damn just found this sub you all need help , if you invite someone out for a meal you are treating them, and should handle the bill. Whether man, woman, nonbinary, friend or fwb, its common courtesy to pay when you invite someone to dinner or anywhere. HAVE YOU NO CLASS!!

Dominemm · 2021-05-27T17:50:06+00:00

I’m particular about dates cause of my upbringing, man pays. That being said after the first couple dates I let my date know that’s how I roll and if he’s uncomfortable we don’t have to continue.

This also doesn’t extend to anything else. I don’t expect gifts or a complete coverage of household expenses, but something doesn’t sit right with me about getting dolled up to pay for my own food. At that point you’re my friend.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-05-26T15:21:31+00:00

If a guy asks me on a date I am prepared to pay for my own way. If he insists on picking up the check I will offer to get the tip or pay for drinks after (assuming it is going well, if it’s going poorly I will pay my half and leave). If I ask him out (and yes this has happened), I will pick up the check because I was the one that made the date. Once in a relationship, generally we take turns paying.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-05-26T15:29:30+00:00

Purple pill.

I think that any suggestion or implication of having the other person pay is a red flag. You either offer to pay or you split the bill.

If I really like a woman or if I feel generous, then I'll offer to pay, but the expectation should never be on me as "the man" to pay.

Edit: to add, that "emasculation" topic might be a tiny demographic of men, but some women use one experience or example to excuse themselves from not doing something. Most guys are appreciative of reciprocity.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-05-26T16:35:52+00:00

I always pay for myself. If the guy gets super insistent that he pay for me, he's ghosted.

Nation_of_Two · 2021-05-26T16:47:50+00:00

I always offer to split the check until I am in a relationship explicitly because I do NOT want to OWE HIM anything.

silkPJson · 2021-05-27T02:21:57+00:00

I always offer but unless we’re both students/teenagers it would be better if he paid to be honest, it’s not a dealbreaker but it shows he’s interested and appreciates my time. Especially if he also expects me to do traditional female things like shaving/acting in a “feminine” way otherwise it’s hypocritical to only want me to behave in traditional gender roles and he won’t.

decoy88 · 2021-05-26T21:25:55+00:00

I think if everyone’s default thinking was “split the bill always” this trivial thing would never be a fucking issue.

Noone would ever feel cheated or used.

Noone would ever feel obligated or owed.

It’s literally that simple.

The-Wizard-of-Oz- · 2021-05-26T15:38:29+00:00

Your strategy is excellent. Although you seem like a gem because you INSIST on paying, I think splitting is fair and fine, men don't want to feel like they're being babied not do they want to be taken advantage of.

1) if she doesn't offer / fake offer - I strongly hint that she pay. At this point of she was using me as a meal ticket km never seeing her again, so good for me. The sad part is the people I see saying in this thread that without paying there won't be a second date. Better to die alone than hire a hooker for the rest of your life.

2) if she genuinely offers to split - ideal scenario

3) if she offers to pay it all - never happened on a date -only with female friends (lol, which I happily accepted) but this kind of thing works only if it's my birthday. I don't want someone to pay for my food all the time.

If you do you're a hooker.

woxmei · 2021-05-26T15:48:29+00:00

As a man you actually can't lose by insisting there be equality on a date.

There are 3 scenarios.

She pays for herself and sees you again - she believes in equality and that her time is not more valuable than yours and therefore sees you as an equal.
She gets angry and reluctantly pays for herself and then as a way of punishing you she never talks to you again - this is a woman who believes she is worth more than you and does not believe in equality and therefore is not someone who you should have any extended interaction with anyways.
She gets angry and refuses to pay for herself and starts to berate you - the benefit is obvious here.

When I was dating I found that when I asserted that I would only pay an equal share because I don't believe your time is more important than mine most of the time I got a second date. Had some rather awkward moments also.

rft24 · 2021-05-26T16:01:10+00:00

idk if you’d say i’m pp or rp, but i guess you could say i’m trad or whatever.

i’ve never been on a date with a man who did not pay, so i always want them to pay now lol

i’ve said before that if i were to go on a date with a man and he did not pay, i wouldn’t go on another date with him.

it has never been an issue for me. in fact, when i’d offer, the men vehemently insisted i put my purse away. i guess you could say that’s my “shit test.” if i offer to pay and you actually let me pay, there will not be a second date.

like you, i’d offer to pay my half or the tip if i knew i wasn’t gonna see the guy again.

i vet for provider men; so if he’ll pay for the dates in the early dating phase without any issues, there’s a higher chance he’ll be willing to provide for myself and small children if we get that far. once commitment and familiarity have been established, who pays for what doesn’t matter as much.

06534956 · 2021-05-27T03:23:51+00:00

I don’t pay on dates, or for anything, if I’m with a man. Dinner, Starbucks drive through, tickets, etc.

If he asks if I want to split the bill, I say that I’m old school. If he puts up a stink, I’ll pay, and not see him again.

_lemazaki · 2021-05-26T16:02:13+00:00

I ALWAYS pay for the 1st date.

But, I'm a good "people reader" so it's hard to have some kind of BS.

Of course, there are rejections and sometimes things don't go as expected ... but I consider that to be normal.

Of course, I pay and observe the behavior. And I invite the person to a place that I know, so that everything is within what is reasonable for me and what I consider good for a first date.

death_by_1000_cats · 2021-05-26T16:29:00+00:00

I always offer to split but I’ve had men insist on paying. Who pays makes zero difference in my attraction or willingness to go on a second date though.

However in my experience men who are into you will monetarily invest after getting to know you. For example even though my husband and I split when we first started dating, after a few months he would regularly pay for me (even though we were making the same amount of money at the time). I’ve even had FWBs pay for drinks and food so this isn’t limited to just exclusive relationships.

BarestBranch · 2021-05-26T18:01:39+00:00

It’s pretty simple IMO. You split the bill unless someone feels like paying for everything. In that case, it’s polite for the other person to pay the next date. That’s how I feel when I get treated at least.

People who feel emasculated about such things are silly.

Gravel_Roads · 2021-05-26T18:17:52+00:00

I think if you ask someone to go with you somewhere, and it takes money to go, you should be considerate of the financial burden it would have on the person you’re asking. We’re all poor these days and no one has extra money to eat out a lot. I much prefer either splitting the bill or for whoever it burdens least to pay for it. My partner makes way more than I do, so they like to order out a lot. I don’t have the money to pay for an order as often as they like to order. So they pay for me. But if I’m taking someone out, I prefer to go for a hike or to check out the beach or something else free. If Im on the beach and want ice cream, I can be generous and pay for someone’s ice cream so I don’t just eat an ice cream cone in front of them.

Shadow_of_Caravaggio · 2021-05-26T18:28:28+00:00

The rules to this are simple:

Common decency dictates that if you ask someone on a date, you probably should pay for it.
If she really is attracted to you, you can pay or not pay and most likely it will not bother her to the point of her breaking with you.
If she is unsure about her attraction to you, you likely will have to play the Goldilocks game of insisting on paying just the right amount of times (not too few, not too many), lest she think you are either cheap or overbearing.

Mosagun · 2021-05-26T19:03:08+00:00

I’m purple pill, I guess? I think it depends on the couple and what works best for them. A traditional man and woman shouldn’t go 50/50 or let the woman pay when they both prefer that the man pay. A modern couple shouldn’t let the man pay when they both prefer to contribute equally. But regardless of preference I think that if you don’t plan on seeing this person again you should just split the bill instead of letting one person cover the whole thing.

Personally, assuming we’re on a first date and want to see each other again, I think the asker should pay. But whoever was asked should offer to at least cover their portion. After that we should take turns paying, split the bill, let the person who chose the activity pay, or something like that.

DreamsOfWishes · 2021-05-26T19:32:18+00:00

BP but in a country where it's not in the culture for men to pay for first dates, although it's flying over from America through the internet. With us the paying for dates happens after a relationship has been established and usually in the form of wanting to do something romantic for the female partner.

And when men wanna pay, it gives me the creeps. It feels like they're trying to force intimacy that doesn't excist yet. Especially people from another culture do this and then I give them leeway in the form of assertively going "No, let's split the bill" 3 times, but if it ends with them paying, I won't go on date with them anymore.

2021-05-26T19:35:21+00:00

I’d be prepared to pay the whole thing, but if she offered to pay half I wouldn’t get weird about it.

The amount of verbiage on who picks up the bill is utterly disproportionate to its actual consequence.

ItWasBrokenAlready · 2021-05-26T20:51:03+00:00

I never dated strangers. If I were to go on a meeting with a total stranger from an app, I'd probably pay for myself, but I don't consider that a date-date, but more of a 'let's meet a few times and become acquaintances at least'-date.

After we're out of highschool and a guy is not paying for my pizza with his mum's money, I'd prefer we don't split. It's my 'not a very poor person' privilege speaking a bit, I guess. But the thought of a guy who fancies me, asks me out, I'm happy he finally did and then goes 'ok, so you ordered shrimps, but the dessert was mine' seems quite awkward and sad. I'd probably say then that I'll just take it on me, and if he was cute enough otherwise for a second date I'd hope he reciprocate then.

If we are dating regularly, I prefer alternating on whole tab, even if it is the same financial effect as splitting. It's more of a 'I give you a gift, you give me a gift' vibe than 'I'm scared you want to scam me for 30$, so I'll be cautious'.

As for 'but but but I don't think it's feasible if I go on 3 different dates a week' - that's kinda the point. I'd like to avoid men who go on million dates milling through dating apps and have to budget for that. I wanna be taken out on a date by a guy who's been thinking about asking me out for some time.

Worked fine in my case.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2021-05-26T22:29:32+00:00

As a woman i always split bills. Always.

Might be because I grew up in a Conservative country, but I'vefound that sometimes men had this thing where I "owed" then something if they paid for my dinner.

If I make sure everything is split in half in the first few dates it means I never owe them anything. If they super insist I will just make sure I get to the bill first and pay half. If they don't like that, I guess that's a bad sign.

Besides men paid for women because they had careers and women didn't. This is no longer the case. Equality is equality even when it doesn't benefit me. (note, I also believe women should be drafted in a war)

Robotemist · 2021-05-26T22:42:31+00:00

When I was single if I knew the girl was into me I would pay for the first date then have her pay for the second. There was only one woman who I knew wasn't enamored and I had her pay half. If a woman was really digging me I had her take me out.

When you're a man with value, women won't be cheap towards you and will bend over backwards to appease you. I assure you as a man, you're relationships will be more fulfilling if you only date generous women. Entitled women aren't worth the caked on foundation they walk in with.

Responsible-Bike9047 · 2021-05-26T23:34:50+00:00

Ew I would never offer to pay wtf😭

Pilling_it · 2021-05-27T12:44:51+00:00

Not sure I'd call myself a PP man, but it's not full on RP and certainly not BP.

Technically I'd be fine with all three, but some women ruined it for everyone by just being there for free stuff. If she's all muh independant and insist on me paying up the whole thing I'd be like "get out of here".

Beside, I'll treat those who want me to pay everything upfront as traditional. I'd be neutral if she wants everyone to pay up their part, it happens the most. Also seen a trend of women afraid the man will feel like she owe him if he pays it all. Sets up proper boundaries, but might signal no interest.

Paying for everything for me can be either no interest or a power move, depending on how the date went, and if she mentions another one. If it was meh, I'd feel like she's paying me to leave her alone.

If there was chemistry it's like an all in : I'd be very appreciative since it's not something I'm ever expecting, and for sure would pick up the whole tab next time. The risk is me not being attracted at all, and that falling out flat on it's ass.

For this case, either she knew me irl beforehand and she has to properly assess to not fail on it, and if met through old, mostly have to not be a lot fatter than in the pictures and/or insufferable irl. Not that hard then. Don't expect me to take her to a fancy restaurant on the second date too after a cheap first one (I don't do fancy first ones), but it's definitely a tone setter that I can appreciate if the cards are played correctly.

Soon-to-be-Catlady · 2021-05-27T13:47:05+00:00

I always offer to split but so far every man I ever dated wanted to cover the whole bill on the first date. If they do that, I say thank you and how kind it is, but don't feel like I owe them anything. It's their choice to pay for me. When I continue dating someone I pay once in a while or make home cooked meals, not to pay back but because I like to give too. I sometimes also pay for friends when we go out, just as a kind gesture. Not everything in life has to be a transaction.

goatismycopilot · 2021-05-27T17:42:34+00:00

For a first date I bring cash so if the guy is garbage I can pay for my part and dip out.

ivy176 · 2021-05-29T14:31:15+00:00

Oh man a few weeks ago I was picking something up from a restaurant and there was a man and woman on a date. They were finishing up and he asked her "so how do you want to pay?" .... she was like "umm I don't mind I guess. We can split". You could tell the question just made her roll her eyes inside a bit because he's urging her to offer first. I mean if he wants to split, at least just say "should we split it?" lol... THEN HE SAID "hey why don't we just pay for what we each had" and she was visibly a bit ugh at this stage, she said "ok" then he goes over the bill trying to calculate it ewwwwwww!! I walked out as he said "mine was just the entree size" arghhhh.

Anyway, I like a man to just jump in and pay because I don't ask guys out so he's asked me out. Only ever dated guys I already knew and liked, no stranger dating.

Much-mo-gooder · 2021-05-30T04:47:34+00:00

Listen. I fully expect whoever I’m on a date with to have put in effort on hair, nails, outfit, shaving and allllll the other things they have to do plus act as a lady. I fully expect them to expect me to act lime a gentleman, open doors, pull out chairs, plan everything, pay AND insure they get home safely (this of course varies on situation).

Hell man. Shit doesn’t have to be hundreds of dollars anyway. Some type of couples dance lessons like swing dancing, festivals, markets and tons of other places. Something with people and activity where you’re forced to interact and get to know each other. Thousands of options that are relatively cheap and you’re both virtually guaranteed to laugh and enjoy yourselves.

Don’t do that boring ass dinner and a movie Bullshit unless you’re already dating or it’s a vaudeville theater.

If you feel like you have to “wine and dine” her for her to like you you either need therapy or better taste in women.

moon5tone · 2021-05-26T15:47:55+00:00

First date, he pays. I like casual first dates that aren't too expensive, and a guy who isn't willing to pay for a cup of coffee or a drink is either just not that into you or way too stingy. It's "sexist" but I think men just have a biological impulse to show off what a good "provider" they are, and if that impulse is totally lacking, he's not very interested.

After that, split/alternate with respect to our incomes (whoever earns more should pay more). There's an opposite extreme where a guy ALWAYS wants to pay and feels emasculated if you do, and that's also bad news because it usually means he believes in gender roles too strongly in other ways.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-05-26T16:29:05+00:00

PP woman here. I was raised that one should offer to pay whenever they ask someone out, even friends. So if the man is doing the asking, he needs to offer to pay. I also believe that if a man isn’t willing to pay for the date, he’s not really interested. So yes, I do expect him to pay, but it’s not that I am too cheap to split the bill, it’s what it signifies. That’s something I wish more women would understand, that we may believe in “equality,” but most men don’t. They’re not refusing to pay because they’re feminists who don’t want to reinforce sexist traditions. They’re refusing to pay because they don’t value you much, resent women, or are cheap people.

SaBahRub · 2021-05-26T16:05:20+00:00

The way my social circle does it is “who invites, pays”. Having said that, what they are paying for is either coffee or a drink - $15 max

Jaylen-Gads · 2021-05-26T15:52:05+00:00

The whole purpose of a "FIRST DATE" and dating, in general, is to get to know someone and find out if you want to continue seeing that person again. Usually, these are two grown adults who decide to meet somewhere and find out if they actually like each other if you are so fixated on who should pay more than trying to get to know your date, you are looking for a free meal. I use to believe splitting the bill on the first date was fair but I disagree now because I look at both sides. I can explain more if anyone is interested in me elaborating but to get to my point I think the person who asks the other person out on a date should be the one to pay for the meal I think that is the best and fairest you can make it, no gender role bs of men pay because they are men argument, it's outdated. You are asking for someone else's time so it's only fair you compensate them since you are the host.

alberto-hoff · 2021-05-26T18:05:29+00:00

PP:

I've always gone Dutch on the first few dates. After dating regularly the man normally falls into a habit of treating me.

LeJacquelope · 2021-05-26T19:34:47+00:00

A man should always go Dutch and swipe left on any woman who has a problem with that. Zero fucks given about any woman who ghosts or gets offended. Count her as a successful Matrix dodge. This is the way.

Also casual sex is mathematically bad for men so also ixnay on sex on the first date.

Medicine_Adventurous · 2021-05-26T19:15:43+00:00

I always pay on the first date, but if she at least offers then that says a lot about her character to me that she at least considered it. On a second date I’d like us to at least split it because imo paying for your meals regularly is boyfriend behavior and if I’m not getting intimacy from you yet then you’re not getting taken care of by me, the first time is a curtesy but after that you gotta figure out if we’re smashing or not so I can move on bc I’m not any girls food guy

Legitimate-Tap-2435 · 2021-05-26T16:37:18+00:00

Simple shit.

Woman make rules for betas but break them for alphas.

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Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-05-26T19:58:46+00:00

Question: Are you with any of those guys now? If so, for how long?

Answer to your question: I will always pay for a date.

-Solitude-- · 2021-05-26T21:17:58+00:00

I like to see if she'll split the bill, in most cases. A girl who speaks up about it isn't a girl I want to be taking on any more dates in the future.

But if she stays off her phone and is a pleasure to talk to, I'll usually pay. Seems like the right thing to do.

thelajestic · 2021-05-26T21:22:35+00:00

I always split. I've not often done meals in early dating but those I did I just split down the middle. If it's drinks normally do alternate rounds.

I don't think the decision has impacted me particularly. I think splitting is generally more expected here than in the US, because most people seemed to take it as par for the course.

willycthecountrytee · 2021-05-27T05:23:45+00:00

If I invite someone somewhere, I do so with the expectation that I will pay, be it a friend or romantic interest. If it's a friend or family member and they offer to pay their own or split, I insist, if they still want to split, that's ok. I drop it.

If it's a date and she offers to split, I don't object at all, though. A little friendly and challenging banter is great on a first date (like a playful disagreement on a local political matter or a popular movie for instance) but friction around logistical matters is a mood killer.

datfishd00d · 2021-05-27T07:39:16+00:00

I always pay for myself, unless the guy insists on paying himself.

But, my country is not like the US. Dates here are very chill and casual. Men have no obligation to pay for the date, and it's not that expected, but valued.

If after a few hours I can tell the dude is not into me, or is only after sex, I don't want him paying, at all. But, of the vibe is good and I feel there is chemistry, I do appreciate if the guy offers to pay. I will always insist on splitting, but I will accept him paying.

NotEvenPrettyXx · 2021-05-27T23:49:54+00:00

I will pay... for the interview

Much-mo-gooder · 2021-05-30T04:24:53+00:00

I’ll always offer and fully expect to pay for everything plus plan it all too, but have been out with a few women who wanted to split or just catch the full amount themselves and I didn’t argue. Not one of those that feel emasculated over something so trivial.

Created a new comment on here after reading some of these and don’t think you can actually delete any comments on Reddit so... read that one. Pol

BigCCPenis · 2021-05-30T07:40:40+00:00

LOL my friend and I are good looking cats and we both met our girlfriends when our girlfriends would bring us expensive gifts in an attempt to get us to go out with them .LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL at this

TheDevilPutD · 2021-05-26T17:36:25+00:00

Easy solution. Don't date. Just give up dating. Hanging out at my place with store bought drinks and some take out is a much better option and we can get to the hanky panky much faster.

Title	How do BP/RP/PP women and men feel about who pays on dates in the pre-relationship phase? How does that decision impact you?
Author	LetsDelveIntoIt
Upvotes	18
Comments	231
Date	May 26, 2021 3:12 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/nljdo9/how_do_bprppp_women_and_men_feel_about_who_pays/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-bprppp-women-and-men-feel-about-who-pays-on.775564 https://theredarchive.com/post/775564

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