Do men or women choose?

bitchbuster69 · 2022-06-05T04:27:37+00:00

Top men > Top women >> Average women >>>> Average men

suzibruzy · 2022-06-05T07:28:11+00:00

The average joe who can’t even get his dick wet is not holding a relationship above any woman’s head

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-06-05T04:38:33+00:00

I'm a guy in a long term relationship who has always had girlfriends and lovers in the past.

It all depends on each case.

But for relationships, I generally chose. But this simply because girls were ready for a relationship sooner than I was and they were normally dating with fostering a relationship as part of the plan. I was generally more cautious. This happens often among men and women in my experience: dating starts, the girl will invariably bring the "what are we/where is this going" conversation first. The guy at that moment has the power to choose.

There's been exceptions: I have totally simped for girls I really liked and the power imbalance left me at their mercy. A horrible mistake.

When it comes to casual sex: depends a lot on the social group and the relative attractiveness of people. Hot people in general are the choosers, but men are across the board hornier than women do we can see men proposing sex more often. In places/cities with a more even playing field, women also can chase and propose a lot.

NockerJoe · 2022-06-05T04:17:46+00:00

Whichever one has the abundance or least investnent chooses. This will almost always default to women in 2022 though.

tired_hillbilly · 2022-06-05T04:35:18+00:00

Barring extreme outliers, women choose what relationships begin. Both parties choose what relationships continue.

2022-06-05T06:04:00+00:00

Thinking about individual choosers rather than compatibility is the wrong idea

gladusgates · 2022-06-05T06:20:36+00:00

Women have all the choice over average men, when it comes to sex and relationships. This idea that men gatekeep relationships is simply not true. Average women can get into relationships with average men any day of the week. When they say they can't find men to take them seriously, they mean men who are 2-3 points above them with regards to SMV and RMV.

flow3rpowr · 2022-06-05T08:58:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TendieDinner777 · 2022-06-05T04:22:00+00:00

Generally speaking, those characterizations are accurate. Some people get hung up on absolute terms, but don’t allow them to use examples of exceptions to dictate the overall picture.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2022-06-05T08:00:19+00:00

It’s commonly argued that women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of relationships, but is this true.

By that logic women are still the gate keepers as they will only date men that they will have sex with...

Crafty-Particular998 · 2022-06-05T08:50:50+00:00

I was done with approaching men because it seemed like they just saw that as an opportunity to bang, and thought if he really does like me for who I am, he will approach me. Then he did. He chose me and I reciprocated.

OldSimpsonsisbetter · 2022-06-05T10:43:25+00:00

Women are the gatekeepers of sex and relationships for all but the very top males.

Of course anyone can choose not to have sex or a relationship if it's offered to them. But that's not what gatekeep means.

tonyghow · 2022-06-05T06:00:24+00:00

Women are the gatekeepers to sex. But men seek and need continuous sex. The only way for a man to remain happy in a long term relationship is if a woman chooses to continue having sex with him. Hence women end up being the gatekeepers to relationships as well.

Anykindofland · 2022-06-05T09:05:18+00:00

I don't believe that men are the gatekeepers of relationships or else the most common dating advice for men would be: Don't go for casual sex but for commitment and you are golden. Women don't jump on a guy just because he offers commitment, the bar isn't even close to be this low.

But there is one thing that is true: Men are pickier when it comes to a LTR then they are for causal sex, which makes it harder for women to get a relationship than it is for them to get sex. For a relationship, they actually have to bring something to the table, they have to put effort in and convince a guy that a relationship with her is beneficial. This extra hurdle, no matter how big or small it might be, is something most women are not used to. For them dating is a breeze and any obstacle, no matter how small, is a mountain to climb. No compare this with the insane standards most women have, no matter her own value, and its no surprise than women think men are the gatekeepers of relationships.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-06-05T10:42:56+00:00

Most of Men’s problems are figuring out how to be chosen

Which is why fundamentally, TRP is so simple. Getting jacked increases options. Making bank increases free time. Honing social skills increases the potential, to vet appropriately. So if you start out an average 5, with a little self improvement; your power to choose, only goes one way.

Godspeed and good luck!

Physical-Pie748 · 2022-06-05T14:45:30+00:00

women choose, men approach. its like men are looking for a job, women are like companies and select which man they want.

back_in_blyat · 2022-06-05T15:01:45+00:00

The more attractive person chooses. It has nothing to do with gender in a vacuum, but it just so happens that women are going to be more attractive 90% of the time, with the top 1% of men being the most attractive you can be out of any category followed by the majority of women, then the rest of the men.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-06-05T05:26:39+00:00

Relationship wise? Men choose. It's not even remotely close.

There are far, far less "high value men" than there are attractive women. And most woman, attractive or not, are shooting for that sort of guy. Tall, handsome, fit, 6 figure income. Notice how often you hear a woman say she's staying single until a guy worth dating comes around. Or saying how difficult it is for them to find a decent guy. Spoiler alert: they aren't coming around because she simply doesn't bring enough value to attract one.

Those top ~20% guys at the top are the gatekeepers, because every girl wants to date a guy on that level.

learn2earn89 · 2022-06-05T05:30:56+00:00

Men choose who to approach and women often choose from those who choose her. Both choose

Booexgirlfriend · 2022-06-05T04:36:35+00:00

Both.

Question: If men are the gatekeepers of relationships, are men the only ones to blame when the relationship fails?

betabucks666 · 2022-06-05T08:27:55+00:00

men are the gatekeepers of relationships, but is this true

nope. that's just how it is for the ''HigH vALuE'' men

why would a majority of average ish men gatekeep relationships? why would they be interesting to be pursued for that?

januaryphilosopher · 2022-06-05T10:06:45+00:00

I asked him out, so I chose him. He just said yes, but the choice obviously wasn't as free as he only had one option whereas I could've asked out anyone. Obviously, this isn't usually a woman's role in a relationship, so women have less choice. Choosing when and how to further the relationship, for example by proposing, abd everyday decisions in where to go and what to do fall mainly on the man - the woman just says yes or no. Proposal power is stronger than veto power.

AelfredRex · 2022-06-05T10:45:12+00:00

It's mutual consent. If you're that desperate that you'll sleep with any woman that offers... talk about dogs.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-06-05T12:07:10+00:00

M, single now, but I've been in relationships where I've "chosen" the person, and vise versa. It can work both ways but in my experience it's much better when she chooses you. The compatibility is more likely there when she's on board from day one. If you have to convince her then she's adapting in someway and it isn't going to be as natural a fit.

Aramuis · 2022-06-06T04:08:09+00:00

We both choose. We make the choice everyday in a relationship.

misterpho207 · 2022-06-06T07:10:34+00:00

the women "choose" in a sense of simply having to say yes or no. men have to make the first move, but it only works if the girl is interested. girls would rather move on a lot of the time than directly asking out guys, which is why a lot of them drops hints. every girl I went out with, simply had to choose IF going to a date with me was worth, whereas I had to choose the PERSON. I guess they both choose, just at different stage.

Blame_the_Muse · 2022-06-05T05:04:03+00:00

For long term relationships, both people choose

For casual sex, women choose

Novadina · 2022-06-05T07:25:14+00:00

I don’t really see how it would only be one person’s choice.? My partner chose to ask me out - I chose to say yes. So which one of us chose??

PostNutCharity1 · 2022-06-05T10:34:24+00:00

Women with realistic standards gatekeep both sex and relationships.

It’s only the 5/10s with ludicrously unrealistic standards, who believe 9/10 guys refusing to promote them from cum rag to girlfriend, that think men gatekeep relationships.

Women gatekeep 95% of everything to do with dating.

As an average guy, you basically just throw a whole heap of insincere shit against the wall and hope something sticks. How can you be sincere when you have to basically hit on 100 women to find 1 or 2 who might be interested?

2022-06-05T04:37:48+00:00

Yes, women choose who to have sex with, then men choose who to start a relationship with, then women choose when to end that relationship. Of course men can leave any time, but this is less likely. Women are more often the ones that take off because they know they have options. Men tend to stay because they understand the difficulty of finding another partner.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-06-05T04:30:22+00:00

I'm married, my wife definitely chose me for sex, and then I chose for her to be in a relationship. Exactly how the saying goes.

wtknight · 2022-06-05T07:04:55+00:00

do you feel like you were the one who choose your partner or is your partner the one who choose you?

I chose my wife, but she really liked me a lot and made the choice easy.

My perspective is that women are primarily the choosers. Dating always feels like it’s about what/who does a woman want.

Men with options choose. Even if a guy can't attract many women, if he's content with the choice of remaining single, then he can still be a chooser. The main problem is that too many men are desperate for sex. I don't see any reason why a man should be like this as long as he's not a virgin and therefore knows that he's at least capable of attracting a woman.

eyesayhello · 2022-06-05T05:42:25+00:00

I'm a male and I definitely chose my partner. I actually was juggling a few women when I decided on the one I was with. So, men can choose AND gatekeepe their life.

AreOut · 2022-06-05T07:42:22+00:00

There is another saying that women have sex with who they choose, while men have sex with who they can.

Um, I can have sex with many women but I choose not to.

It's valid for all 8+ guys IMO, it's just that some of us aren't into fucking 2/10 landwhales.

H0rniCunt · 2022-06-05T14:55:54+00:00

Women choose who they have sex with men choose you they marry.

AbbreviationsHot1200 · 2022-06-05T23:04:46+00:00

Its all based on rarity.

Desirable men are far, far more rare than desirable women.

Lateralanouncer · 2022-06-05T05:12:10+00:00

Was no one brought up listening to their fathers.

Woman are the gatekeepers sex. Men comitment. For a woman to mate successfully she needs to attract the highest man.

Men have sex with fertile woman. After they have sex do they stay or go. That is up to the man. How men see it. The man that pays the most is the lesser man. Example. To men, will smith cuck, August bull.

Note men have commitment value. And woman have sex value. On the lowest end. A Slut has low sex commitment value as she is free ot belongs to the street. And a bum low commitment value etc. Etc.

DrinkItInMan11 · 2022-06-05T05:52:24+00:00

Men hold control over who gets marriage and relationships

Women hold control over who gets sex

Suck-Less · 2022-06-05T18:02:32+00:00

Y’all act like women don’t get desperate and that men can’t say no.

Karmanger · 2022-06-06T15:12:38+00:00

Both choose, in dating:

Men choose who they approach
Women choose from who's approaching.

Both have to agree for their to be any relation.

In marriage: One partner has to ask
The other partner has to accept/deny.

Unless it's a shotgun wedding.... well then you get a sitcom on fox called married with children

AdChemical190 · 2022-06-05T09:49:00+00:00

Men choose. And they only choose women with big boobs. The reason some men say that “a woman can have any man” is because they think only of the busty ones. If you are average looking with small boobs you are invisible to men. They don’t even consider you as they don’t notice you. I can’t have every man I want because they don’t find me attractive enough. Women with large breasts flaunt their cleavage and they can pick and choose.

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dietwindows · 2022-06-05T04:50:16+00:00

Briffaults Law.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-06-05T05:34:15+00:00

Whenever I was in the position to solely "choose" I have chosen not one of those males. A man that cannot negotiate his deal to make sure it is fair to him has nothing to offer.

Active LOVING - instead of "being in love" .. is also constant CHOICE after choice after choice. Regardless of who 'chooses to be committed' at the beginning, you still must continue to choose THEM over the course of the relationship. I do not mean at the expense of yourself. A man or woman CHOOSES X-relationship or accepts the monogamous deal offer, and does not hold up their end through a series of counterproductive choices. Once the man accepts or offers his SIDE of the monogamous deal and vice versa, the choice to uphold this agreement is in effect.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-06-05T06:38:45+00:00

The whole original idea is true yes, women are The Gatekeepers of sex and man of relationships, it's overwhelmingly primarily men that are going to do the proposing and women that are going to push for it and lay down the ultimatums for it, even with the feminist deception strategy subreddit, those women were blatant misandrists and yet their main goal what's the strategy on how to get a man to marry them lol, and especially if it's a man with options

I would say ultimately whoever is viewed as as, for lack of a better term, the prize in a relationship is the main one who does the choosing

Question to everyone currently in married/ltr, do you feel like you were the one who choose your partner or is your partner the one who choose you? Please note your sex and relationship status.

M, married , as far as who chose who, it was pretty much exactly as I laid it out here, our first date , she was the one who paid, our second date she was riding the soul out of my body🤣, our relationship was originally just supposed to be casual, I definitely chose her in terms of the relationship going down a more serious route and then now her becoming my wife, neither one of us has ever made the other one feel any less than desired

And just to get back to my original Point think of it this way if a woman was constantly getting rejected first sex, she's either extremely extremely unattractive and we would consider her a fucking loser, it would be almost the same thing with a guy in the opposite direction, if a guy is dating a girl for a year let's say and then proposes and she rejected him, that ain't a great look for him lol

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-06-05T07:44:05+00:00

women choose more often in my experience. although I've always done the asking out it has always been following some encouragement/ hinting from her. maybe cos I was too shy to just approach a woman out of the blue, but I don't believe that would have had a high success rate.

although you could also I say I chose too as I had the option whether on not to act on those hints, which I sometimes haven't.

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2022-06-05T07:50:40+00:00

Dude, I’ve seen a couple break up over a game of thrones episode disagreement. Sometimes people get into relationships because it’s fashionable.

Lysa_Bell · 2022-06-05T07:51:21+00:00

f33/LTR 4y

This is my longest and most fulfilling relationship. I intend to stay with my BF for as long as he wants me.

But our relationship went a bit role reversal. I offered him casual sex after we flirted for a while online (I was done with relationships at that point). He doesn't do casual sex. He doesn't like it. He wants to have an emotional connection to be intimate. So he persuade me for a relationship. I was very against it for a while but he made it clear he wants me.

Everyone can decide for themselves. I fell hard for my bf. So I went with the relationship.

jackedsoon · 2022-06-05T10:16:23+00:00

Leaned towards women unless the guy is attractive.

SUPER_CUCK_BROS · 2022-06-05T11:21:24+00:00

id say women are the gatekeepers of sex and relationships. if you're male, you'll either be granted many many options for both or none at all.

Entiox · 2022-06-05T11:44:15+00:00

I'm a guy in a LTR and I think it goes both ways. If one person, regardless of gender, pursues another for sex, or a relationship, then they are making a choice to pursue that person. That person then chooses whether or not to have sex, or a relationship, with the person that pursued them. My girlfriend made the first move, if I hadn't been interested I could have easily said no. I've done it before when women I wasn't interested in pursued me, either for casual sex, or a relationship.

avoriure · 2022-06-05T12:06:52+00:00

21f. my boyfriend pursued me at a time when i was being pursued by multiple other men. honestly, i didn’t pay much attention to him in the beginning but eventually decided to go on a date with him. i went on that date with the intention of seeing if he was worth my time. he was lol i enjoyed him a lot. i stopped talking to other guys after the date.

i chose when i lost my virginity to him. i was definitely the gatekeeper to sex because i denied a lot (A LOT) of guys who asked before him or during our talking phase. i knew he would have had sex with me on the first date if i wanted, i waited until i was ready. also waited until i knew he cared about me.

but hmm… i would say i did most of the choosing. we both had other options but i had a lot more, and he did a lot to try to impress me. he still does

hari_hbp · 2022-06-05T12:48:53+00:00

I can only speak from my personal point of view. I've never been approached by a woman, so I've always done the approaching/first confession. So, in my case, the woman has always been the one to choose. I was merely the guy who offered.

I'd say, in an established relationship, both people have equal power of choice (whether to continue/take it to next level)

From what I've seen, if a guy is really attractive/handsome/charming, he'd be the one to choose usually.

In a general sense, I think women gatekeep casual sex and both partners have equal say in a relationship.

childish_badda_bingo · 2022-06-05T12:52:20+00:00

I’ve seen above average men completely run the show as far as relationships go. It all depends on whether they are capable of emotional and mental manipulation and whether they actually care if the relationship fails. The person that cares least generally has the power.

The power dynamic can easily favor either party in a relationship. The amount of deadbeat bad dudes I know who have women cooking, cleaning, and paying for them is astounding.

prettymuchredpilled · 2022-06-05T14:08:25+00:00

Women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of commitment. That's usually really how it goes.

ppd_reject · 2022-06-05T15:16:05+00:00

Both choose. When you follow the traditional script, women choose but only out of the pool of men who also chose to approach them. You might argue that women have higher standards for sex, but that doesn't mean men don't have standards or that they're sexually available to any woman who wants dick. The same goes for relationships. No person is available to all so the choice has to be mutual.

Question to everyone currently in married/ltr, do you feel like you were the one who choose your partner or is your partner the one who choose you? Please note your sex and relationship status.

I'm married. We both noticed each other when we met. He invited himself to a ski trip with our mutual friends and I invited him to a speaking club. Both wanted sex pretty early into the dating process. I can't see how it could have happened any other way.

Time_Animaal · 2022-06-05T19:32:46+00:00

In a sense men choose, but the problem is if you have 100 men and 100 women, then the first man chooses 5 women, and the 2nd man chooses the next 5 women.

It's like in an open marketplace in a 3rd world country. Think about women as those with wares swarming the rich westerner and he buys what he wants and then they all start swarming the next richest looking person.

Magnito-was-right · 2022-06-05T22:27:57+00:00

The most attractive person chooses both.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-06-06T15:22:52+00:00

I feel like it's a mutual agreement? Like a guy can say I want you as my girlfriend but she can say lol no.

RIchardjCranium · 2022-06-06T19:18:25+00:00

Essentially it's both. But for different reasons. Men choose who they approach by their standards. Women choose who they get involved with by their standards.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-06-06T20:49:22+00:00

I think nature meant for men to be the choosers and men who are alpha males and lack fears and phobias can truly choose their partners. In reality, most men defer to women and act subservient to them in essence hoping to get "chosen" by a woman. However, this puts a woman in an unnatural position of power which she does not enjoy or appreciate. If you ever wonder why you feel invisible to women it's because you consider yourself below them on the social hierarchy. That they and their opinions are more important than yours.

Alpha males have a completely different view of the world that is completely incompatible wjth the way the average man views the world and women. In an alpha males world, he is the most important person in the relationship. In the average man's view of the world, he is the least important person in the relationship.

H8beingmale · 2022-06-06T21:33:21+00:00

i like to feel women choose both when sex happens or when a relationship happens normally, since men are normally still the ones to have to make advances towards a woman or ask her out first, so that puts the woman in the position of accepting or declining

eyesayhello · 2022-06-08T03:27:45+00:00

She chose me. I was dating a few women at the time and afterwards decided she was the one I was going to stick with. Men choose relationships at the end of the day.

Ectoplasmic1984 · 2022-06-08T19:20:29+00:00

well women are normally always in the position of saying yes or no, accepting or declining

Title	Do men or women choose?
Author	mextreme10
Upvotes	34
Comments	210
Date	June 5, 2022 4:16 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/v55mgy/do_men_or_women_choose/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-men-or-women-choose.1117181 https://theredarchive.com/post/1117181

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