FWB material is better than both hooking up and a relationship.

kmb218 · 2026-02-21T18:00:49+00:00

Many people view relationships as something fulfilling and fun. They actually enjoy their partners company. Being in a relationship is not an annoying responsibility for them, it is something they want.

You clearly see relationships as the cost of sex, but not everyone sees it that way.

wtknight · 2026-02-21T18:30:54+00:00

But with FWB, she wants you more and makes a conscious decision without expecting demanding boyfriend stuff.

Yeah, but you don't get good girlfriend treatment from her, either. The benefit of a relationship is people treating each other well in all matters and not just sexual ones.

If a man says that no girlfriends ever treat him well, then perhaps he is dating the wrong women.

behappyfor · 2026-02-21T18:05:56+00:00

Yeah sure thing, but where will people get FWBs. There's a reason why people get ONS more

Also you are shitty if you want people to think you want committed relationship but deep inside you want casual

Zabadoodude · 2026-02-21T18:14:12+00:00

You're comparing a chill drama free FWB to a relationship where you have "boyfriend responsibilities" and not getting much in return. Of course FWB would be better than a relationship like that.

Plenty of women pull their weight in relationships and plenty of couples actually enjoy being around each other outside of sex too. The benefits of a good relationship far outweigh the extra responsibilities you have.

Bikerbats · 2026-02-21T18:10:39+00:00

All depends on how you're defining better. FWB's are more comfortable (for most) than hookups, but they're only drama free until they reach their inevitable end where there is drama aplenty.

Not to pick on you directly, but as sensitive as you seem, and with as much weight you put on your idea of "desirability", how do you see yourself reacting when your FWB calls it off because she was more into her other FWB and they're getting together. If you thought FWB's where exclusive, I have a bridge to sell you.

Kaleidoscopetide · 2026-02-21T18:47:26+00:00

True if you don’t care about being exclusive 🤷‍♀️

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-02-21T18:43:54+00:00

Only if you prioritize “disposability” and are very very attractive

My_House_on_Mars · 2026-02-21T18:07:01+00:00

You guys need to stop making this broad generalizations. It's like saying "french fries are superior to ice cream"

Some people will agree and some won't and some like both.

Solondthewookiee · 2026-02-21T19:38:29+00:00

You know "boyfriend stuff" isn't a tedious chore, right? Like a lot of people enjoy the "boyfriend stuff."

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-02-21T19:08:51+00:00

this is the opposite fir me, if i liked a guy enough to fuck him again, id NEVER be able to be some "fwb"

Due_Appointment_1188 · 2026-02-21T18:48:33+00:00

This post has some major "I just discovered I can get laid and now it's my entire personality" energy.

Tell me sex is a scarce resource for you without telling me sex is a scarce resource for you. If boyfriend responsibilities feel like a chore, you're either dating people you don't actually like or you're just a bad teammate. A solid relationship is a force multiplier, assuming you know what works for you and you know how to vet for it. A ride or die is a massive life hack. And this doesn't even get into experiencing true love, which is the best feeling in this world.

Your thread legit made me sad, knowing people actually live like that.

PB-French-Toast-9641 · 2026-02-21T18:09:22+00:00

A good relationship can be so much more fun

crookedsummer2019 · 2026-02-21T21:50:40+00:00

Yes, you can have the benefits without the disadvantage of boyfriend responsibilities, and that goes both ways. She too can have the benefits without girlfriend responsibilities, meaning she can sleep with other men because she’s single. I mean, obviously you both can sleep with other people. So if you are ok with that and don’t want a relationship and she’s on the same page, it can work for both of you.

DenverKim · 2026-02-21T23:03:23+00:00

Almost every time I have tried to be friends with benefits with a man, he always expects more than sex. He expects the full boyfriend package and gets offended when he doesn’t receive it. He expects to be able to eat my groceries, mess up my apartment, yap my ear off about all of his problems and then has a meltdown when he realizes that I’m dating other people.

I’m not opposed to FWB at all, but I am very cautious about who I’m willing to engage in these types of relationships with. Usually, in my experience, the man wants all the benefits of a relationship (beyond just sex), but is completely unwilling to give anything in return.

In my experience as a woman, the man in this scenario had absolutely zero power because I wasn’t in love with him and he knew it and he couldn’t handle it. He knew I could and would replace him within the hour if I wanted to.

HonestForever6676 · 2026-02-21T19:05:26+00:00

Do you as a straight man not have romantic feelings for women? I'm confused I get that sex is an important factor but you've never fallen in love with someone?

Feisty_Ad8543 · 2026-02-22T00:08:33+00:00

The bit I agree with is the power thing

When I am honest to guys and say that I'm only looking for a casual FWB situation they're not interested

They either want a one off hookup, or a girl who wants a relationship (who they can then choose not commit to)

Aka they want the adoration that comes with a FWB who wants more from them, or the novelty of new people for casual sex

Two people, mutually engaging in sex with no extra involvement doesn't seem to interest them

growframe · 2026-02-21T18:18:46+00:00

You're generalising and using black/white thinking. You have some valid points but you're ultimately only considering the advantages of FWB and only the disadvantages of a relationship.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2026-02-21T23:05:00+00:00

Ok this only applies if (and it is a big if) you believe the most important thing is sex. Period.

Most people in FWBs don’t even think this, we are (foolishly) thinking we can maintain the friendship while doing relationship stuff. And if you do it long enough: it doesn’t work. Inevitably one person (or both) catch feelings and now you’re either in a LTR (which happens a lot) or you or her are about to have an awkward conversation.

Ok_Ad_5041 · 2026-02-21T18:08:50+00:00

No, FWB is degenerate behavior

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JSpady1 · 2026-02-21T20:10:35+00:00

FWB situations usually end in drama. One person catches feelings and/or gets jealous because the person they’re with has other FWBs on the side.

Real life isn’t a movie. You can be the biggest stud in the world, but any woman with an iota of self respect and integrity will tell you to put up or shut up eventually.

Junior_Apple2678 · 2026-02-21T23:13:22+00:00

Its cool, but it's very short lived.

virtualPasserBy · 2026-02-22T02:58:05+00:00

Hell yeah. Though I prefer hooking up cause I like the taste of a new woman better. FWBs kinda nice at times though.

shitlittleparrot · 2026-02-22T12:25:34+00:00

With FWB she thinks your are commiting to her but u have all the power"

Lol. I was the one with the power in these situations cause the guys were the ones looking for a relationship when I knew they weren't for me . Fwb means nobody really cares for the other, don't call me if they fired u from work, just for intimacy amd maybe dinners. And these works both ways

Axis_Control · 2026-02-22T14:38:47+00:00

It's better if you can actually find a suitable man for it but reality is majority of men just want hookups.

Also reality is the woman might get bored of the guy or lose interest after having sex with him once or a few times.

pie-mart · 2026-02-22T19:29:27+00:00

I mean, maybe for you. There are guys out there who see a relationship as the goal, and along with a relationship comes sex

But guys like you see a relationship as a cost of getting consistent sex.

You shouldn't be monogamous or in a relationship unless you actually want love and all the stuff that comes with it

Just like you can't want friends and then hate having to contact them or hangout with them. Ie, you don't get the benefits of friendship from them if you don't contribute friendship benefits to them

And some of us, enjoy being a friend to our friends. Irs actually fun and helps with our loneliness

Now, same as relationships. Some people enjoy having them and doing the things partners do to maintain a relationship.

Boyfriend gives relationship benefits to woman

Girlfriend gives relationship benefits to man

And thats kind of it? And some people enjoy the acts of being a boyfriend or a girlfriend

Think of it as giving emotional oral.

Some people like making others happy, especially when they care for that person.

Some people though, don't like giving oral, maybe taste or texture or whatever. And they are also totally fine with being allowed to not give oral, but they shouldn't expect someone to give them oral

coochie4sale · 2026-02-23T01:55:33+00:00

I enjoy the boyfriend stuff. it's nice to hang out with an opposite gender close friend and do stuff together while also having sex with her. I love hanging with people that I love.

ImCyanide11 · 2026-02-23T02:17:29+00:00

From what I've read, it seems you're not privy to relationships, that's not bad on its own but friends with benefits usually end up being a slippery slope when emotions inevitably get involved. I'd advise you draw a line in the sand and explain what you are to the other person. Leading people on is soulless.

ThatBitchA · 2026-02-21T18:53:40+00:00

I've had many fuck buddies. I've had many hookups.

A relationship is better, hands down.

If someone has had neither, they have no idea what they are talking about.

ouishi · 2026-02-21T19:52:50+00:00

I have a FWB, but I would much rather be in a relationship. Not with him, he's just a friend and we don't mesh well romantically. There's also things I'm only willing to do with a commited partner than I won't do with a casual relationship.

The world is a scary place, I don't want to face it alone. I want to be in a partnership or part of a team taking on life together.

Custer99 · 2026-02-21T20:30:53+00:00

Friends the blueprint for how to have a lasting loving relationship is there. Find a person who you want to spend your life with and control your lust until you are certain of this person’s character. Only once are sure that is the person you want to be with should you sleep with them. Casual sex has ruined the dating marketplace. Pair bonding is real and finite. If you want true fulfillment this is the way.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-02-21T18:41:21+00:00

Plenty of people disagree

False-Purple3882 · 2026-02-21T18:17:18+00:00

Fwb is a scam for women. Like pyramid schemes or splitting the bill 50/50.

expecting demanding boyfriend stuff

Yes how dare women expect a bare minimum of the men they have sex with at least pretending to like them.

Popeoath · 2026-02-21T20:38:52+00:00

I guess but I don't really want to be friends with the types of people who hookup.

Title	FWB material is better than both hooking up and a relationship.
Author	winter_lover28
Upvotes	36
Comments	213
Date	February 21, 2026 5:58 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1raxru6/fwb_material_is_better_than_both_hooking_up_and_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/fwb-material-is-better-than-both-hooking-up-and-a.1573958 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573958

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