I've been reading through this subreddit for a while, and it suddenly dawned on me that I've been a victim of abuse aided by White Knights. I thought I'd share my short breakup story. Maybe it'll help get me some closure...

I was three years in with this girl, but she was regularly manipulative. I never identified it but it more or less amounted to her making a scene in public if things weren't going her way. Ultimately, I'd cave because she was making a scene and I'd try to avoid it.

One night we were at a bar, and she brought along one of her girlfriends. While we were sitting at the bar, a guy who apparently recognized my girlfriend started chatting with her. She has a professional life in town, so I rarely question it when people talk to her. She works at a school and students approach her quite a bit. So while she was chatting with this guy, I turned to have a conversation with her friend.

After 5-ish minutes the guy left and she very angrily started making a scene. "Why didn't you stop him? You should've protected me..." was more or less what she was saying. I was like.. are you crazy? I'm not going to interfere with your professional life. If he was creeping on you, you're welcome to introduce your boyfriend.

But she wouldn't hear me out. She was too upset so she told her friend to "come on, we're going to the bathroom." I grabber [my girlfriend's] wrist (lightly, might I add) to keep her focus for long enough to give her a description of what happened, but she was too involved in her own little world to care about what happened, so she started yelling, "ouch you're hurting me." This is a damned lie. I was holding her wrist in the way any normal person would in conversation if you're trying to get their attention. It wasn't violent. I've never even been in a fight with a guy, let alone hit or hurt a girl. We've never had a physical fight.

Well, needless to say this drew attention from the white knights of the bar, who- without asking questions or trying to understand the situation, approached me, physically removed me from the bar, and threatened to kick the shit out of me. I had to run from the front of the building and call a cab in the rain as I ran to avoid them hurting me.

It was a horrible experience, and at no point did anybody even try to get the story straight before it happened.

Needless to say I broke up with her, but still.. it never really occurred to me what happened that night. I understood it from a movie-standpoint. It's something you'd see in a movie. But the real forces at work, the white knight attitude, and how I was wronged that night.. It's astounding. Thanks for letting me vent.

{Edit for clairty}

Edit regarding the wrist grab The problem is in the context of a physical relationship. Pulling on her arm when she does a fake temper tantrum was normal. We were always physically playful. Grabbing her waist when she was upset and pulling her in for a kiss in was a normal way to calm her down. This physical behavior was always normal. So when I grabbed her wrist, it wasn't out of the ordinary per se. She decided to breach my trust by using this as a way to make a scene. It was something normal that she treated abnormally.

So to the people who say I should learn not to do these things, I don't think you understand the context. Be physical with your girlfriend, unless she's about to breach your trust. In that case- predict the future and don't touch the girl you're otherwise physically intimate with. You can't just not touch a girlfriend out of fear of how irrationally she might act.