Do you believe that men are only as faithful as their options?

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-08-24T00:18:03+00:00

I agree it’s 100% character and integrity. It’s why looking for partners who are disciplined and morally correct in their life bodes well for interpersonal relationships. Temptations exist in every facet of life, donuts in the office, that light that just turned red on a deserted street, the $5 someone dropped in front of you at the cashier. Do you make the right choice or the choice that may benefit you but potentially come with consequences?

miwamus · 2021-08-24T01:37:33+00:00

Men are only as faithful as their character.

GabbaG0ul · 2021-08-24T00:20:36+00:00

If man is only faithful because he doesn’t have options, as opposed to quality of character, then I don’t want one anyway.

Human sexuality is variable. Not every man is sitting around pining after each piece of ass that walks by him. In fact I know men who are demi sexual. I think “only as faithful as his options” is meant to do two things 1.Absolve men of guilt and responsibility to their partners 2.Encourage women to take worthless men that no one wants.

Not today patriarchy! I see you! 👁👄👁

Maude2010 · 2021-08-24T00:30:05+00:00

No. Some men will just never cheat, no matter the options. Some (probably most) will cheat as soon as they can. It’s not about options, but character.

boiledgatorade_ · 2021-08-24T01:18:54+00:00

I say 100% character. Guys with no options (I find) are usually bitter & don’t treat women right. Or the opposite, they’re to darn needy & clingy.

cml678701 · 2021-08-24T00:55:09+00:00

It’s character and integrity! There are men out there who fall for horrible women, yet they stay. Then there are men who marry a beautiful, kindhearted, smart woman, a 10/10, and they cheat.

Risas1239 · 2021-08-24T03:50:41+00:00

There’s plenty of men with bountiful options who are still bored with their life and are looking for meaning. There is no replacement for human connection. Some value it, and some remain lost in Neverland, eternally unsatisfied.

LetsGetin_Formation · 2021-08-24T00:19:49+00:00

Men with no options still have escorts, porn and whatever the next only fans will be.

All men have options to be deprived. Never think you’re safe if you’re with an ugly scrote. They’re the first ones who creep on prostitutes and teens online. They’ll despise you for being one of the few girls that tolerate them then punish you by cheating by any means necessary to make them feel like a Chad with a harem (iTs OnLy FaIr).

That said, I think men are only as faithful as their morals and/or what serves them most in the moment. This changes situation to situation. Sad but true. Not sure there are faithful men in this digital age, and with access to depravity expanding exponentially reaching children earlier and earlier since parents can’t bear to raise their kids without tablets to shut them up, I don’t see things improving unless there’s signs of hope I’m missing.

p0ludnitsa · 2021-08-24T00:41:17+00:00

I believe this is true for the vast majority of people regardless of how outwardly attractive they are. I don't want someone to be with me just because they don't think they can get anyone else. That's not love.

I'd rather stay single than be someone's compromise.

Diodoggie · 2021-08-24T01:39:54+00:00

There are men that trully want to have healthy families and relationships and well grounded kids. That is really the ultimate happiness in our lives.

cherieblosum · 2021-08-24T04:10:22+00:00

Men are only as faithful as their morals. They are capable of self control if they want to be. There are men out there who value family life more than sex with random women.

drunkmoonfarmer · 2021-08-24T00:29:05+00:00

I think it was Chris Rock who said this quote, who is himself a LVM. This is shitty logic that low value men use to tell themselves that it's okay to cheat. Good men with principles won't.

Protoetype · 2021-08-24T00:52:56+00:00

I only date men who know that they're attractive and have a lot to offer a woman. A man who is secure in this is a normal guy who enjoys SHOWING a woman what he's worth. He's not constantly trying to prove to himself (or other people) that he can get women.

He's more concerned with the value a woman can bring to his life. (it's happiness)

frostedgemstone · 2021-08-24T05:43:04+00:00

Yes it’s all their character. I’ve seen some horrendous looking broke men sleep around a ton and cheat on their gf and seen some very attractive potentially HV men remain loyal and emotionally present for their gf/wife. Some of them do rise above and actually value romance even while they are a catch

eveloe · 2021-08-24T06:58:45+00:00

I think this is just another way of saying “give ugly men a chance”

AnKeWa · 2021-08-24T08:54:04+00:00

Sort of relevant:

My husband and I have a good friend (male). We had a convo about how women are viewed as commodities, and he threw in a story about how once in school, the boys were asked to draw their "dream woman".

I know, ugh. Not just the weird sexism, but also the heteronormativity.

Our friend told us that he basically refused the assignment and told the teacher that he just wants to be with someone who loves him and he loves back.

Cute story, right? And believe me when I say that this 100% fits into his pattern of behavior. He's an incredibly sweet guy who always does what he thinks is the morally best option, which is exactly why we are friends with him.

When I retold the story to my brother in law, he answered "Yeah the guy is lying for good boy points. No REAL man acts like that."

I said nothing, but I knew that I did not agree and that this remark kind of upset me.

I later found out why it was so upsetting to me. It’s a very good example of a man throwing shit at other men who are just better than him. This was not a real assessment about the guy we are friends with (and how could my BIL even give an accurate assessment, he barely knows the guy!). What it really was is an assessment of my BIL about my BIL. He basically could have said "Treating women like people is absolutely impossible for me, and I don't think you as a woman should entertain the idea that a guy treating women like people is possible, since this would kind of imply that I have to better myself."

TLDR: LVM will tell you this kind of shit in order to cover their collective asses. If they successfully convince you that you cannot possibly ever meet a person that is better than them, they will never have to work on themselves and still get a wife.

There's only one exact way out of the game (if you're a straight woman). Live life on your own. Invest time in yourself, your happiness, your friends, your family, your community. If you meet that one man that is better than no man, cool! And if not, also cool 🥰

shadowlillium · 2021-08-24T00:28:15+00:00

A cheater was always a cheater, and will do it again. Men, women. Don’t matter. Faithfulness is a character trait that is defined by actions and proven with history, it is not a default setting for everyone. That’s why vetting is important

spicyspa · 2021-08-24T02:09:35+00:00

No. There are men with integrity out there and there are men who are too afraid of getting caught. Having options make the process of cheating easier because a hot or wealthy guy doesn't need to make much effort. However guys without options just work harder to find someone to cheat with.

thecrazywitch31 · 2021-08-24T04:55:36+00:00

All about character and integrity. Tell me, you must be a woman. Do you have a lot of options ? Maybe. Women have a lot of options compared to men. Are we faithful? Yes. Why? We have character and integrity.

ChickaDeeD33 · 2021-08-24T01:04:50+00:00

This is a really important one for me, especially because I have a lot of residual insecurities left over from past abuses (I'm working hard on it).

In a weaker moment, I asked my partner what would happen if he met the most perfect woman he ever could imagine. The most attractive and intelligent and funny and inspirational and kind-hearted woman ever and she wanted to be with him... What would he do? He told me that he would tell her that in an alternate universe, or another lifetime it might have been nice, but in this life he's with me, and nothing will change that (outside of something in our relationship not working out). He also said that if he even felt tempted, then that would tell him there must be something to work on in our relationship, and he should be addressing it, or that if he did desire to be with someone else, he would at least have the respect and decency to break up with me instead of cheating on me. I know that no matter the quantity or quality of options, his logic brain has decided his course of action and he won't stray from it.

qualitylamps · 2021-08-24T02:47:21+00:00

The ones with less options just try to cheat and fail, I don’t know if that’s necessarily better…

Muffcakelord · 2021-08-24T07:29:06+00:00

All men have options if they really want to try. Incels are genuinely afraid of any kind of intimacy and they hate women so that's really why they keep digging themselves down the dirt. Cheating men find ways to cheat - all kind of men cheat. They can be morbidly obese or an obvious psychopath and still cheat.

Non-cheating men isn't the myth LVM want you to believe they are. They just project their self hatred

bombas- · 2021-08-24T00:46:30+00:00

Absolutely not. Men are human beings. They are capable of being honest, being loyal, and having strong moral character.

Some people are also genuinely monogamous. It’s just that people who aren’t naturally monogamous are really, really convinced that everybody else is faking it.

to_learn_to_fly · 2021-08-24T08:00:48+00:00

I believe that the man is faithful if two conditions are met:

he's with the woman he actually wanted, not a placeholder or some second choice;
he's secure in himself and has a healthy ego, i.e. doesn't feel the need to constantly prove his attractiveness.

Usually these two go together, as an attractive and self-confident man has no problem pursuing exactly what he wants and is unwilling to settle for less. The problem is that most men don't have a healthy ego and self-esteem due to their actual or perceived flaws.

About integrity and discipline... I mean yeah, they are great things to have. But I don't want to be with a guy who's faithful just because he feels he has to, not because he wants to. There are definitely guys out there who will not cheat, because their religion or otherwise strict morals say so. But if deep down he wants to, nothing good will come out of it and he will hate his partner anyway. Marital infidelity is probably less widespread in more religious and conservative countries than in the liberal West, but are there really so many happy relationships? It's probably quite the opposite, as repressed urges tend to come to the surface in even uglier forms.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-08-24T04:18:56+00:00

Women always have more options but statistically cheat less. So it's a character and integrity issue.

joysie21 · 2021-08-24T07:21:40+00:00

Personally, i think it is based on their character, integrity and also accountability they experienced when they were growing up. I am very lucky to have a father that's very devoted to my mom and to us even though he wasn't an educated man (he was born in 1948 - SEA). He treated us equly, hold us accountable for our mistake even my brother, and always, highlights the importance of honesty, honor and integrity and he and my mom made a point of not punishing us for telling the truth but rather guide us on how we can make amends if we wrong someone or made a mistake and my dad said that integrity is something you should never ever compromised because once you did, the next day it will be easier for you to do so. He also made a point of holding him accountable and he is the man with highest integrity i ever met. So, growing up, i know there are man that faithful but they need to have character, honor and integrity to hold themselves accountable. My partner - i never once though he would be unfaithful to me , not because of his options but because of his integrity to himself. I am very grateful and lucky to found him and i think this is what make a man faithful and devoted to his wife and kids - integrity, honor and holding himself accountable.

CannonEyes · 2021-08-24T02:20:14+00:00

When I was younger I was pretty insecure and so I typically went for less conventionally attractive men because I figured they were less likely to cheat. Although I admit I was very attracted to my LVM ex, I was doing charity work and he still cheated on me, a HVW. Now i figure may as well date hot guys since my "ugly guys don't cheat" theory was wrong 🤷🏼‍♀️

K0rla · 2021-08-24T09:28:58+00:00

I think it’s a copt out from men (and women who have been cheated on) that disrespect their partners. “Oh men will be men, it’s just our biology, blah blah”. Men can control their actions and if they choose to cheat, it is 100% intentional.

duchesspum · 2021-08-24T00:14:50+00:00

I think its more about if they can get away with it, if none will know, if rhe opportunity arises.... Inwouldnt trust....

Hippofuzz · 2021-08-24T08:18:17+00:00

100% character, look for a person that has morals, standards and discipline, and chances are, he has a higher developed character and integrity. Also I feel like it’s the really objectively ugly ones that tend to cheat with every chance they get…

Inspection-Critical · 2021-08-24T12:12:45+00:00

LVM, yes.

HVM, no.

Good men have integrity and respect for themselves and for others. I've met a few of them, they're out there.

VividPsychology7 · 2021-08-24T09:31:59+00:00

No, I don’t. I believe they’re only as faithful as their morals.

I agree that there’s also an element of trying to push women towards men with fewer options, but ultimately you should go for who you’re interested in, not who society tells you you have to be interested in.

IDontAgreeSorry · 2021-08-24T09:47:18+00:00

Yes, it’s about character and the right values. Shit, there’s so many male eye candy roaming around this earth, but still I’d never cheat because when you have that one special person you don’t need anybody else if you value monogamy.

OrangeCatsAreNice · 2021-08-24T12:52:30+00:00

Id say this: definitely dont settle for someone with less means / options / power out of fear of a more powerful man cheating. Ideally its better to not get cheated on; but if you happen to be, its better to be cheated on by a generous man that at least gave you some resources than a stingy bum.

The insecure types will always cheat. A man that doesnt feel like he has to prove himself to other man is less likely to cheat.

akashyaboa · 2021-08-24T12:19:31+00:00

If you don't cheat only by lack of options it is not being faithful at all, at least not to me.

qineh1 · 2021-08-24T11:58:49+00:00

Lol yes, well, options and opportunities. My ex, who I thought would never cheat on me only didn’t cheat on me during the peak of the pandemic because he didn’t leave his house, and he knew exactly what to say to me to manipulate me into believing that he could be faithful in a long-distance relationship. The minute that he had the opportunity to be social, he slept with a girl who approached him at a bar. Lol. Funny now, but devastating when I found out 6 months ago.

LevellingUpTime · 2021-08-24T09:12:12+00:00

HVM will always have options, because HVM are generally wanted. They're also faithful and don't make their wives uncomfortable by flirting with other women - that's why they're high value

NVM are only as faithful as their options though, they'll even marry women they're not that keen on while waiting for another woman to have an affair with

NotMyRealName814 · 2021-08-24T02:28:38+00:00

I think that men with character and integrity are less likely to cheat but generally speaking, yes, I think the vast majority of men are only going to be as faithful as their options.

Hikari3747 · 2021-08-24T22:09:12+00:00

I have a lot of options. I know this because men flirt and stare at me all the time.

It boils down to character and loyalty.

I can leave my boyfriend at any time and trade up.

However, I think it's stupid to chase someone who appear to be better when you found someone that check your boxes and forums a relationship, with for someone who is slightly better.

Vegetable_Ad3151 · 2021-08-24T00:04:20+00:00

Overall it boils down to character and integrity yes, but even those men make mistakes and can cheat. I have recently came across the idea that men sleep with who they can and women sleep with who they want to. I mean there is some validity to it, but also there are so many more variables than just these that are discussed.

GreatOrchidAmbition · 2021-08-24T05:41:22+00:00

No, I sadly believe this. I don't think there are any unicorn men.

derpinat_butter · 2021-08-24T06:58:48+00:00

Ofc, just like women! We are ALL just ANIMALS with URGES who cannot control ourselves and just have to jump on each other whenever someone as much as looks at us! /s

LR_today · 2021-08-24T01:06:34+00:00

Yes. This is why I will not date a HS or college teacher. If the guy is at all good looking, how many 16-22 years olds can throw themselves at him before he breaks? He WILL break.

Hey women down voting me, read the replies and stop with your ignorance.

Title	Do you believe that men are only as faithful as their options?
Author	taylor232424
Upvotes	720
Comments	91
Date	August 23, 2021 11:58 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pabz6e/do_you_believe_that_men_are_only_as_faithful_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/do-you-believe-that-men-are-only-as-faithful-as.1060262 https://theredarchive.com/post/1060262

Comments