Marry A Virgin But it Turns Out You’re Not Compatible

prizefighterstudent · 2022-09-07T04:46:10+00:00

This shit is overdone at this point. 90% of dudes aren't going to marry a virgin -- and half the dudes who claim they would only date a virgin would fold if they had a solid 5 willing to cook them dinner once in a while thrown their way.

purplish_possum · 2022-09-06T21:13:16+00:00

Anyone stupid enough to buy without a test drive deserves what they get.

Sad_Entertainer6312 · 2022-09-06T19:49:47+00:00

Divorce

kvakerok · 2022-09-07T01:04:57+00:00

A better question is why would she want to stay married to a progressively more salty man, assuming he decided to stay while cockblocked in his own marriage?

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-09-07T02:31:14+00:00

Wow these replies are like 🤮

I’m glad I’m not married to a man who demands I have sex with him even if i don’t enjoy it and must continue it like a chore.

Sometimes I want to please my husband but I’m not in the mood myself. (It’s still my choice to initiate it or not stop it)… but if my husvand picks up that I’m not in the mood - he loses his urge too. If you love someone, you wouldn’t force someone to have sex with you. And no, sex and chores should not be the same thing. Bleh.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-09-06T23:26:41+00:00

I wouldn't marry a girl before sex so this hypothetical would never happen.

Madadepp · 2022-09-06T19:46:45+00:00

Does she have a condition or something, or she just hates sex because that's what's needed for the idiotic scenario to work?

baresquad · 2022-09-06T19:37:29+00:00

I’d never marry a virgin in the first place, but I’d leave that marriage so fucking fast lmao.

Neptune-Jr · 2022-09-07T01:36:12+00:00

I would stay married to her and take out any sexual frustation with porn. Assuming that the other aspects of our marriage are nice and lovely.

Perfect_Promise_943 · 2022-09-06T21:29:16+00:00

Good question something I think a lot about. My current partner is a virgin and she wishes to stay a virgin until marriage. I am a virgin and not necessarily want to wait till marriage but I am willing to for her.

The topic of this post has come to our relationship plenty of times.

There is few things that we do and will continue to do to prevent this. Like we are constantly researching about what other couples do and like, we explore with ourselves(not together) to see what we like, what we dislike, what we can handle and can’t handle. We talk about what we like to watch or read about. Expectation we have and practicing for such as close as possible.

As of today, she hasn’t been diagnosed or anything but she has yet to find sexual desire. She has the desire to want the desire because she does want to do those things with me, but she never has the urge for sexual pleasure. We have talked about it a lot since I’m extremely sexual. Here have been out hypotheticals:

Following a similar scenario like yours. In the case we do get married and she just doesn’t enjoy it. There is a few options before we get to divorce.

First question, is it medical/physical? As in she can’t have sex or is really painful to have sex. If it is medical. It’s not her fault and we would work ways to enjoy the little sex we can get. Maybe she can give me oral, maybe we can figure out how to please her purely with nipple stimulation, buying toys to help out, etc.

If it wasn’t medical, and she simply didn’t like it. Than we have a few other options.

Second question, how much do you hate it? Is it something you despite? Or is it something you just don’t enjoy like a romantic movie that you are willing to watch for your partner?

Is it something you just don’t find attractive and don’t have any desire to do. Then, assuming we have tried everything possible for you to get into it and you just don’t like orgasming or can’t get into it, then if she was willing to, than maybe a case of like free use kink. In the sense that maybe we treat sex as something purely for me. If she doesn’t care, it doesn’t hurt her, and she doesn’t hate it, than maybe we can have sex just for me. We have talked about this possibility and to use her own words she would be willing to be a “pillow princess” in the sense that she would be willing to just lay down and me have “my way” with her but don’t expect her to do much on a daily basis. Maybe once or twice a month she will actually “get into it” and move and do things and not just lay there as a “toy” for me.

If she hated it, than we would try toys and kinks that perhaps didn’t involve actual sex. Some guys like being in chastity have a remote vibrator or things attach to him and all she needs to do is to talk dirty or be cruel and click a button. Perhaps on special occasions like birthdays or such more than that, maybe a blowjob or maybe even sex.

If she hates it that much she can’t even do that. Then the next steps would be toys for myself and spend lots of money on things to help me. Maybe online girl that it’s purely transactional. She has also mentioned the possibility of getting a 3 rd person involved. Not a full relationship but someone I can release my desire with and then be done and come back to her.

All of this are just option we have talked about and gone in depth. And we do have “trial runs” and practices to get a better idea which I’m more than happy to answer any questions about.

dukesaces · 2022-09-07T00:20:34+00:00

The divorce rate in most of the west is between 40-70%. Most of these couples aren't virgins and are sexually active men and women getting married. Sex always declines after a year or two into marriage and it's usually the woman who triggers this decline. A lot of women also fake their sex drive and are very enthusiastic about sex before they've got the ring but won't do anymore than missionary and a blowjob after. Pregnancy, mental and physical problems and so many other things can also influence sex drive or one or both partners can gain/lose weight which affects attraction.

People mention sexual compatibility a lot when they're being dismissive of virgin marriages but what about the fact that even in most non virgin marriages, problems with sexual compatibility often do arise? At the end of the day nothing's a guarantee. You talk about your desires and your sex drive with your partner and hope for the best and if you guys are truly incompatible after marriage then you may have to divorce but with virgin marriages having a much lower rate of divorce than marriages with people that have had multiple partners, i don't think this is a common problem.

FlyV89 · 2022-09-07T00:35:07+00:00

Marry a virgin who turns out doesn't like sex

VS

Marry a promiscuous woman who turns out is not that kind of woman anymore

Mmmm...

Hard choice...

Which is the one I'm going to be shamed and mocked the less for getting married with?

CosmicBioHazard · 2022-09-06T21:29:30+00:00

I’m assuming she loves me a lot if she’s still doing this to keep me happy, right? And attracted to me. The possible reason you’ve cited the most is a sexual disorder, preventing orgasm, so I’ll assume that’s the issue and she knows it.

I wouldn’t leave, at least not right away, if it was clear from the rest of the relationship that she was loving and affectionate, and she indicated that she was happy with me. If I had reason to believe she was displeased with me I’d drop her.

Now, assuming all that I’d be willing to experiment with ways to make it worth her while; for instance, inability to orgasm doesn’t necessarily mean she can’t derive pleasure from one of the many possible ways one can be touched: perhaps identifying one would make sex enjoyable even if the vaginal penetration wasn’t a contributing factor.

anonymous-platypus1 · 2022-09-06T23:28:19+00:00

Sounding like every girl after 2+ years into a relationship lmao

blmzd · 2022-09-06T22:18:23+00:00

Sexual compatibility is a myth. As long as your dick isn’t small and your willing to listen you’re good.

That’s 99% of men. Issue is that most people in the US are to stubborn to listen. That’s what’s causing these issues.

Slyfer_Seven · 2022-09-06T19:40:26+00:00

So she's not attracted to me? How did it get to this point?

But I would probably exhaust all reasonable options so I'm at least getting laid enough to not feel compelled to stray. If that didn't work, I would try to open up the marriage to put this no sex thing to the test.

If she wasn't open to that I wouldn't leave, but I would probably self destruct the relationship to the point she did, because this is all make believe and it sounds fun

_Duriel_1000_ · 2022-09-06T21:28:17+00:00

Would you divorce a virgin woman if it turned out you weren’t physically compatible, or that she didn’t like sex, had no sex drive and saw it as a chore to be done.

women file for 80% of divorces. Not to mention, if a virgin is in her 30's and unmarried, most men would conclude she has deeper problems.

midwesternMD · 2022-09-06T22:29:46+00:00

I see what you’re doing here. Good try, but the cop out is that most of the men who advocate a preference for virgins also add a slash low n-count. So divorcing a previous virgin to try again isn’t incompatible with that thought process.

But I agree that the whole n count/virgin thing is ridiculous and idiotic.

jayval90 · 2022-09-07T00:59:42+00:00

This situation is a complete red herring. Sex is one of the easiest things to do well enough in a marriage, and it's completely retarded that we lift it up to this level of importance. I value the things we do for each other, the 500x more important other compatibility issues that we've already worked out without sleeping together, the way she looks at me, etc etc etc ad nauseum.

The sex life is going to go how it will. If it's really that bad there's probably some underlying issue that won't be solved simply by us swapping out partners, and so we should fix that.

I promise you that I'm not getting married to a virgin that I've never slept with before if I don't like her well enough to make it through something like this post describes.

Barely-moral · 2022-09-06T19:45:31+00:00

Okay gentlemen. Would you divorce a virgin woman if it turned out you weren’t physically compatible

No. That is not ground for leaving. What she does about us being physically incompatible may be ground for leaving.

or that she didn’t like sex, had no sex drive and saw it as a chore to be done.

No. That is not ground for leaving. What she does about it might be.

Either way, she only does it sometimes to make you happy, but never initiates.

That is ground for leaving. We both have things to do in the relationship. We have to do them and do them right no matter how much we dislike it.

I hate working. It doesn't matter. I have to work and provide. Not just the bare minimum. Not doing it begrudgingly. Do it and do it well. No complaining. No making my partner feel bad because I don't like it. My burden to carry, my responsibility. I do it to the point that my partner is fully satisfied with my role and the way I play it.

Same goes for her and sex.

How would you handle this situation? You literally cannot make her enjoy sex with you.

"Do your part or the relationship is over. You have time. I will provide any help you may need. Nothing is an excuse for any of us failing to fulfill our duties to each other and the relationship"

Because she’s a virgin; she thinks this is how sex is

Then she better change her mind.

And because you’re married she knows it can’t get better

This does not follow.

would you stay?

If she fails to do her part, no. If she does her part, yes.

John_Oakman · 2022-09-06T21:53:34+00:00

No sex, no problem. The question is, will she believe that, or will paranoia start consuming her as she begins to suspect that either I'm playing the long game, hiding dark secrets, etc. ?

Not to mention quite a few low sex drive people want high sex drive partners, if nothing else as validation of their intrinsic values. Thus chances are this fine lady would find any male who tolerate her condition without obvious discomfort a turnoff.

fruiters_31 · 2022-09-06T23:10:53+00:00

Cheat

truwuweiway · 2022-09-06T23:23:55+00:00

Bro just fuck her til she loves it

Seaker___ · 2022-09-07T04:05:56+00:00

The amount of posts like this on this sub, is beyond hilarious.

Ur OK,hun. No shame that u lost virginity and no good man takes u seriously.

abaxeron · 2022-09-07T09:00:25+00:00

Assuming we're not in a deeply religious Hungarian village, would divorce. I did not make the rules that marriage is a joke now.

itmethrowaway12 · 2022-09-07T23:02:16+00:00

i could tell if she has a low sex drive before marriage or not. all these hypotheticals are pointless because she also has to have a sex drive that matches mine both are essential. if she doesnt exist then sure

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-09-07T15:01:58+00:00

If I was to date a virgin and she was to be like this, I would leave her so fast. The thing is I want her virginity not long after we start dating. I'm not marrying a virgin. I only want to marry one I personally myself have already broken in. Also, yes you can make her enjoy sex with you. What girl isn't gonna absolutely love getting her pussy eaten, licked, sucked, and slurped? Her legs and body kissed and liked? Otherwise leave her. No self-respecting man is gonna have a woman who doesn't enjoy having sex with him. A marriage is only gonna work when a woman has genuine burning desire for her man. Most women don't that's why almost half of all marriages fail and why dating relationships fail all the time. The only good kind of virgin girl is one who is hyperfeminine, submissive, absolutely gorgeous and desperately wants to completely give herself sexually to one man.

shadyMFer · 2022-09-09T00:59:23+00:00

The only real question left unanswered is the frequency. If she's compliant and goes along with it whenever I want her to, then sign me up! I don't want a woman to initiate anyway, it's improper and I might not feel like it. As long as she's submissive and willing when I want it, you're really describing my ideal situation.

Euphemia006 · 2022-09-06T20:45:41+00:00

I love how the women on here try by all means to blame, shame, and try to convince the men who only want virgin women are toxic and all the what not, by making post after post, thread after thread about it.

But, I am hard pressed to see at least just one woman on here, who blamed, shamed and tried to convince a woman who do not want to be near virgin men. No woman on here ever did that.

I am sure most women on here believe that a woman have the right to despise virgin men. It is her right, her standard. But suddenly, when some men express their STANDARD of wanting a virgin woman, poof, backlash, hatred from women.

Then, we say, men or women, we are equals now. Equals only went it suits apparently.

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jayval90 · 2022-09-06T20:54:27+00:00

Well, that's a risk you run into.

If you don't see anything wrong with divorce, you'll probably do it.

0nuzo0 · 2022-09-06T23:25:14+00:00

I would never marry a virgin woman but I would date one, so yea

Straight_Arr0w · 2022-09-06T23:57:05+00:00

Read the book 'The Act Of Marriage'. A wonderful book that would answer this question very well.

tired_hillbilly · 2022-09-07T00:02:24+00:00

Stay. Presumably, since we stayed together long enough to get married, we must get along pretty well, and anything more than zero sex is more than I'm getting now, so I'm not really seeing a downside here.

she thinks this is how sex is

This is a good thing, she's not disappointed.

crispickle · 2022-09-07T03:25:09+00:00

If there's good companionship outside of sex then i'd probably just get a sex doll and keep the marriage. It's easy to bust fat nuts in dolls that feel close to the real thing.

MGTOWManofMystery · 2022-09-07T04:09:35+00:00

This situation is best handled by not getting married in the first place.

RonSwanson2-0 · 2022-09-07T06:06:05+00:00

Married a virgin and she wants sex as much or more than me. It's as if waiting 30 years left her with a need to catch up on missed time. I'm probably lucky in that aspect. If she was less inclined I wouldn't think of divorcing her but my faith is strong in what I believe marriage should be and it's way more than sex.

Teflon08191 · 2022-09-07T07:54:39+00:00

There'd be no reason to stay let alone get married. May as well just find a platonic female roommate to shack up with.

VanVahlen · 2022-09-07T08:14:39+00:00

Is it just the Sex? Then I would stay sure, never been a Big thing for me anyway.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-09-07T11:09:49+00:00

I thinks much more easy to deal with the issue of low libido if she is a virgin.

herefortheparty01 · 2022-09-07T12:31:35+00:00

Who the fuck wants a virgin?

CliffordThRed · 2022-09-07T13:49:39+00:00

This is why sex before marriage is required

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-09-07T15:11:50+00:00

With me If she wants to be my wife she's not gonna want to save herself for marriage. I will never date let alone marry a girl who insist on saving herself for marriage. I'm not waiting for marriage to fuck a girl's brains out. That's garbage to me. Those kinds of virgin girls are absolutely no fun and will most definitely get cheated on. Tons of girls just wanna be the 1st that girls ever had.

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-09-07T15:26:14+00:00

What risk and how am I douchey about sex. I don't believe for one second that sex is the only fun that can be had in a relationship.

kcmiz24 · 2022-09-07T21:32:40+00:00

Those conversations would occur before marriage. If you’ve been straight forward with each others principles and needs this is almost an impossibility.

2022-09-07T22:53:54+00:00

Why did you not discuss sex beforehand?

Would you divorce a virgin woman if it turned out you weren’t physically compatible

No, but I'm curious as to what that means?

Anti_Thing · 2022-10-10T21:43:26+00:00

I would consider divorce if she refused to have sex for long periods of time. I wouldn't marry a woman unless she agreed to have regular sex & understood that I may divorce if she fails to uphold her end of the bargain. I believe that spouses have a moral duty to sexually satisfy each other as much as is reasonably possible, & that sexual satisfaction is one of the main purposes of marriage. I wouldn't marry someone who didn't share these values. I don't believe in "physical compatibility". I would also rather not marry someone who doesn't like sex or isn't sexually attracted to me. I don't know exactly how to screen for that, though I would try to tactfully bring up the subject before we marry. I don't care if she does it out of a sense of duty as long as she enjoys it & we do it often. I don't care if she ever initiates. Because she's a virgin & hopefully I am too, we can learn to make it enjoyable for each other. All of these issues would be discussed before me marry, including as part of extensive religious counselling specifically directed at preparing couples for marriage.

Title	Marry A Virgin But it Turns Out You’re Not Compatible
Author	anonymous-platypus1
Upvotes	44
Comments	329
Date	September 6, 2022 7:29 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/x7jfzx/marry_a_virgin_but_it_turns_out_youre_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/marry-a-virgin-but-it-turns-out-youre-not.1129843 https://theredarchive.com/post/1129843