You need to have a popping Instagram account to be able to date successfully as a guy

ashpr0ulx · 2023-03-30T00:42:06+00:00

i find an overly curated social media feed kinda feminine.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2023-03-30T04:57:06+00:00

Depends which girls you want to date obviously. If you want a social media obsessed 20 yr old party girl then yeah.

Traditional-Bad-4055 · 2023-03-30T00:19:55+00:00

I’ve had multiple female friends comment that they think it’s hot if a guy doesn’t have an ig. I have one myself but private and haven’t had any issues.

Girls want guys who have a good social life. A weird social media presence may give them the ick but having none at all is unlikely to hurt you unless the girls you’re going for are shameless social climbers

old_new_age · 2023-03-30T00:44:50+00:00

OP got turned down by a shallow woman who was displeased with his <100 follower Instagram account

ApprehensiveCoat2273 · 2023-03-30T05:57:32+00:00

Noo, if a guy has overly polished ig it’s a red flag and turn off. Not having an ig is ok. If a guy has one, it has to show that he is a fun guy and not a loser, but it cannot be too polished because people who care too much about their social media presence (guys OR girls) and are always taking pics for their ig instead of enjoying the moment are annoying.

solstice-sky · 2023-03-30T01:06:35+00:00

if you're dating women 24 and under

bootyhunter69420 · 2023-03-30T02:35:57+00:00

I had two women ask me for my IG, but I don't have one. Sometimes I think it's necessary to get a girlfriend.

ta06012022 · 2023-03-30T03:44:16+00:00

I have an instagram account that I haven’t posted to since freshman year of college (I graduated a couple years ago). I even deleted most of my high school posts along the way. I do have 1,000+ followers, because I had a big social circle in high school and college and basically everyone I followed would follow me back, even though I never really posted anything. Posting to social media just wasn’t something I ever cared about. I’m only a consumer.

Post college, most of the girls I’ve met have been from dating apps and my abysmal instagram account has absolutely never been an issue. Most don’t even ask, but when they do want to move the conversation to instagram, it’s never been a problem.

Only downside is you can’t really use instagram to meet girls (DMs) without a good profile. But if you’re using dating apps, instagram doesn’t really matter in my experience. I’m fine with that though, because the apps work just fine for me.

no202 · 2023-03-30T05:01:00+00:00

Instagram is dying, so this is false. When I see a man with social media, it’s pretty much a turn off. Especially when it’s curated and everything. No thanks.

NakedStreets · 2023-03-30T00:30:48+00:00

I thought “offline boyfriends” were in this season.

noafrochamplusamurai · 2023-03-30T05:00:32+00:00

I have 2 pictures on my IG, the last time I posted on it was 7 years ago. I have no shortage of prospects. I know guys that don't even have IG, and they're doing just fine

username_6916 · 2023-03-30T02:56:45+00:00

What's Instagram?

spicy_fairy · 2023-03-30T04:21:45+00:00

i’m a woman and i actually deleted all of my socials (minus this obviously) during the pandemic and people really respect that about me and find it intriguing. make of that what you will.

RIPGeorgeHarrison · 2023-03-30T03:29:03+00:00

I do not think this is true, even if he stereotypical chad does have one. You can always meet people anywhere else that isn’t instagram or online

Boolzay · 2023-03-30T08:03:32+00:00

No. Guys who are too invested in Instagram appear feminine and starved for attention, because that's all this app is for, attention begging and mindless scrolling , high quality men would avoid it.

jimmiefan48forever · 2023-03-30T00:19:49+00:00

If men became gay they wouldn’t have this problem

DeepHouseDJ007 · 2023-03-30T02:06:11+00:00

This is ridiculous. I’m in my thirties with a very successful dating / sex life and only have a small private instagram and all my followers are personal friends and women I’ve dated, so basically only people I know IRL.

The vast majority of the women I date are between the age of 24-32 and none of them have even asked me about instagram.

beyoncestan23 · 2023-03-30T09:09:35+00:00

What 😂. I’m a woman and never heard this before. Most women talk about how popular guys like that are an ick and tbh the whole popping on IG thing is quite literally very feminine

KirthWGersen · 2023-03-30T05:22:17+00:00

When a woman starts trying to get me to follow her Instagram, I tell her I find most people who use Instagram superficial. Then they quickly shut up about it.

Never stopped me getting laid.

Be your own person.

ZippNex · 2023-03-30T08:13:52+00:00

What are you on about...

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-03-30T08:41:21+00:00

My husband didn’t even have an insta Our three older boys have them but they are hardly anything on there and get dates

Suavedaddy5000 · 2023-03-30T09:38:32+00:00

I have no social media except reddit. I still get plays. ☠️☠️

Mistress-Eve- · 2023-03-30T10:16:17+00:00

Nah my brother has no social media presence at all and has girls throwing themselves at him. He doesn’t seem to give a shit though.

M12_cavesrl · 2023-03-30T10:22:51+00:00

Shit, I'm allergic to instagram

onestH · 2023-03-30T11:15:02+00:00

I haven’t got my IG attached to my Tinder profile and I do good anyway. And yes, Tinder is basically a dating app for women. They post pics of their ass and signal availability to everyone out there (or, you know, promote their OF to earn some $$).

DoinIt989 · 2023-03-30T11:47:38+00:00

Your IG doesn't need to be "popping" at all. Having one helps you seem normal though. I've actually had girls ask for my IG, but not my number.

CrunchyMama42 · 2023-03-30T13:14:42+00:00

I have literally never dated a man with an Instagram account.

catfishchapter · 2023-03-30T14:29:25+00:00

No lol. That’s too feminine. I’m actually more intrigued if the person I’m dating has no social media at all.

The heavy and obsessive online presence correlates to the same attention seeking and narcissistic traits for men as it does for women and no thank you.

modidlee · 2023-03-30T14:44:46+00:00

No you don’t. You really shouldn’t even get too invested in women that care that much about social media. She should care more about your personal chemistry with each other and how people view you in the real world. The guy that has a popping IG might be known to his followers. But does he get respect when he walks into a room where no one knows him? Can he get people to trust and like him based on them having a one on one interaction with him? Anybody can make themselves seem like something special with a curated social media profile. But are they that charming or charismatic in the flesh? That’s more important. And like I said, if she’s more worried about who you are online versus who you are in real life you shouldn’t even want to deal with her anyway.

Backas_Before_Work · 2023-03-30T14:47:48+00:00

For many people iG is a safe place to message without giving out your number and a means of figuring out if you’re being catfished or not.

96tillinfinity_ · 2023-03-30T14:58:48+00:00

If you live in NY, LA, or Miami or a somewhat comparable big city where theres money and most people are superficial then sure. Outside of that, social media doesn’t matter that much

A early 20s to mid-late 30s guy who lives/works in NYC, Miami, LA, etc etc etc will probably have to have his social media a little bit up to par but a guy living in a medium-biggish sized town with, lets say, 80-100K population? I dont think its that serious

Also, what is your measure of successfully dating? Is it a new date a week? 2 a week? Success is relative to the individual

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-03-30T19:05:40+00:00

It’s more that as a guy you need other guy friends who take pictures of you doing social events which is usually never so most women will assume you’re a psychopath because you don’t go out with the girls and take pics of each other out on the town.

It’s annoying. Now when I’m socializing I’m thinking in the back of my mind, “fuck I should’ve asked for a picture to put on my tinder prof so I don’t just have generic selfies and posed group photos”

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-03-30T19:30:26+00:00

Stop going for a certain type of girl OP.

Literally less than 5% of men Ive met who are happily coupled have ever used Instagram. I have a feeling you wouldnt ever go for the girls in these couplings though.

bostonkarl · 2023-03-31T07:31:39+00:00

Biases sample fallacy. But I agree with you in that having good quality photos on IG does make it easier. Either photos of you or the things you are passionate about.

Not saying you are wrong.

It's a biased sample because people who are active on IG and make it public are also usually people who are not ugly. They just DM the people they are interested on IG and it gets results efficiently (Chads). A regular person doesn't really get dates from having brainless photos on IG.

It works for non-good looking folks if the IG shows your hobbies (ex. You are skateboarding, you roast coffee beans, you demonstrate how to throw a football spiral). It attracts crowds who have similar interests.

THHBHStT · 2023-03-30T00:23:58+00:00

You don’t need one but it helps a bit

I know plenty of guys with nothing or posts from years ago that still pull regularly though

KikiYuyu · 2023-03-30T02:25:31+00:00

Obviously men without Instagram get laid. I don't know how you could make this claim.

daddysgotanew · 2023-03-30T10:17:14+00:00

Women that feel the need to constantly advertise to men are hoes

rootsnyder · 2023-03-30T10:27:19+00:00

Lmao 🤣. Zoomers... They'll never get it..

SoldierExcelsior · 2023-03-30T00:22:57+00:00

Nah just

a bad boy 20x baby momma drug dealer rapper...

dynospectrum7 · 2023-03-30T03:23:25+00:00

What about chad that smashes girls on night one? No insta needed. It’s not that important.

blebbyroo · 2023-03-30T04:20:15+00:00

Not true. I met my partner on hinge. He had 2 photos on his Insta and they were shit photos.

imnot-lola · 2023-03-30T01:23:17+00:00

I genuinely could not care less about a guy’s instagram. My own instagram is pretty dull. I don’t know many women my age who would care either.

HighlyFlashy · 2023-03-30T02:27:53+00:00

I literally don’t care what a guy’s instagram looks like. But i also don’t post on social media often so maybe I’m bias. I just feel like that’s a weird criteria to have for whether you want to date someone or not though.

broccolicares · 2023-03-30T05:37:59+00:00

I think that other than shallowness, a woman refusing to date someone unknown without an IG is because they don’t know if they are a serial killer or not. Not necessary to be popular on social media but some presence with interactions makes the woman feel safe about the guy.

Useful-Indication225 · 2023-03-30T05:49:51+00:00

This is true to a degree if your insta indicates displays of fun, wealth and social proof, i.e. popularity with other men and especially women then it’s only going to be an asset

januaryphilosopher · 2023-03-30T07:58:44+00:00

Most women really don't care that much about social media. For the majority, they might hope you have something to check you are who you say you are at most. And I've noticed that more promiscuous men are often the ones who make like two posts their whole lives. Are you getting your information about women off Instagram by any chance?

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-03-30T00:29:22+00:00

Popping? No.

But a peek into your life. What do you do for fun? How do you spend your time? What is important to you to document?

Even if it's only 9 photos and it's 9 fun things about you.

Use the captions to expand on your profile.

meangingersnap · 2023-03-30T02:42:32+00:00

fb banned me and deleted my ig and there’s no motivation to remake it tbh pointless waste of time that lowers most ppls self esteem

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-03-30T01:04:54+00:00

Who cares about Instagram specifically. You could have an account on any one of the main social media apps and get the same result. Girls don't care about how many followers you have as long as your account is 6+ months old and you're active on it

donalddafuq3301 · 2023-03-30T10:36:50+00:00

If I saw you and knew this about you I’d take you out just for this fact alone.

Affectionate_Pen_623 · 2023-03-30T15:22:44+00:00

Again, with the bad advice on this sub. I find reddit has become pretty much entirely made up of bitter, annoying incels and female losers who somehow feel above them but, in reality, are in the same shitty position.

I fucking HATE social media and have no presence on anything except LinkedIn. My girlfriend has been begging me to post her more but I simply don't post anything period and haven't done for nearly two years.

Be that as it may, I still realise that having a popping instagram would be a MASSIVE benefit and I encourage anyone who wants to have a semblance of an active social life to invest in a good camera and a female friend who is good at taking pictures. It's an INCREDIBLY useful tool in dating. I can't count the amount of times women have asked me for my Insta and even men who've wondered why someone with a physique like mine isn't bigger on social media.

Anyone claiming otherwise is likely another shut in redditor with no fucking life. I mean, just look at LinkedIn, I'm a lot more present on that and it's been a boon in getting me seen by recruiters. Before my current role I had at least 5 recruiters trying to connect with me everyday offering $100k+ roles. It's an incredibly useful tool especially if you're looking to move up the career ladder or enter management/leadership positions. Instagram is no different. It's social proof. I've asked girls for numbers who've been skiddish about it who were way less so about sharing an Instagram handle.

It says a lot that women here complain about men with bad dating profiles but then also claim that Instagram is a "turn off". A lot of you need to understand different kinds of women and the relevant bullshit triangulation they come out with. 99% of the time someone with a bad dating profile also has a shit social media presence. Because social media incentivizes good quality content. Most will simply harvest that content from their social media presence. When you have none this is a lot harder, especially considering taking good pictures and posing well is a skill. I see this a lot on here. Women complaining about incels/misogyny/poor social skill and then attempting to shame guys who do things to negate that.

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szclimber · 2023-03-30T03:36:13+00:00

This may vary with age. Technology and social media really has rapidly changed the landscape.

revrev4405 · 2023-03-30T11:00:06+00:00

Don’t have to post all the time. Just some relevant pics of you having fun.

Last-Post2085 · 2023-03-30T12:18:11+00:00

Nah. My brother has a gf who is a totally hottie and she doesn't have IG. She hates social media. I think the only thing she has is TikTok and that account is empty. She just uses it to watch other people.

asofiro · 2023-03-30T12:21:44+00:00

You can have a normal instagram or no Instagram and do perfectly fine with women.

My Instagram account is for photography and I've had some women go '😮' when they see the pictures (they're already attracted to me anyway).

I don't connect to dating apps or show off, it's just something I like to share if we're seriously dating or if we're friends.

Women's attraction is like a volume knob, it probably goes up one notch when you show them a cool Instagram.

It doesn't have much of an effect on overall dating unless you are mega rich and even that can be a turn off or seen as fake.

obviousredflag · 2023-03-30T13:43:53+00:00

That is a niche way to date. It's definitely not a requirement. None of my high value male friends with attractive girlfriends even have an instagram account.

Midaycarehere · 2023-03-30T14:13:23+00:00

Nope. Will not date men who use social media more than me, and I barely use it. I want a man, and a private life.

Nihi1986 · 2023-03-30T14:16:04+00:00

Depends on your age I guess, and it definitely helps if you exchange social media and yours looks cool. I wouldn't obsess about it if you are meeting in person. If you are doing it online then I guess you could try to put some work there even if if's just on the surface and add some deep or cool stuff, even silly but funny memes...

If you are not a Chad with a Chad life just do your best and see what happens, this kind of worrying about every detail will only ruin your confidence.

ChicktoGo · 2023-03-30T15:42:00+00:00

So girls should have nicely done IG posts

I_DRINK_ANARCHY · 2023-03-30T16:48:29+00:00

I dunno, maybe it's because my first years of dating were before social media was prevalent, but what social media a dude does or doesn't have isn't particularly relevant. I mean, yes, there was a period of time where it was considered weird if someone had NO online presence, but then social media got fucking ridiculous. Suddenly it was really understandable to avoid it all together.

Then again, my own IG is fairly neglected, so it's really not high on my list of priorities anyway.

qunamax · 2023-03-30T20:29:42+00:00

Or just go out and date irl.

kyle_fall · 2023-03-30T22:11:33+00:00

Yes, honestly I wouldn't listen to anybody that tells you otherwise. It makes a massive difference when you meet new women at parties or events, I've had girls comment that I must be famous because I have 2500 followers and a good profile lol.

If I had 20k+ and even better content I could see how it would make everything even much easier.

Tight_Dig_5491 · 2023-03-31T00:32:14+00:00

Nah. If you're one of those ultra top tier, 11/10 6+ figure guys who likes to post pictures of their fancy cars and beach homes and all that? Yeah, I can see it having some value since women of that caliber will flock there already. Social proof for the upper echelon. Aside from that, the only real purpose I can see Instagram being useful for the average dude is for business reasons. Selling things or services, etc. Meeting irl or some other means is going to be way more productive for the run of the mill man.

Stunning_Thing4208 · 2023-03-31T02:22:24+00:00

Never had instragram. Deleted Facebook 12 years ago.

Haven't been single in decades.

OptimistInHell · 2023-03-31T03:12:26+00:00

If you wanna DM insta hottest, I guess

slazengerx · 2023-03-31T03:23:06+00:00

I don't have an individual social media account - no facebook, instagram, tiktok, etc. Nothing. Never have. (Unless this reddit account is considered social media - then that's one.) But I have access to a shared instagram account for a music project I'm involved with. I've met several women through that account even thought we're not particularly active (and we're almost complete nobodies). I don't think there's been a new post in a few months now.

Choice_Ad_6230 · 2023-03-31T18:17:49+00:00

No you dont.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-04-01T00:04:02+00:00

It's actually a green flag to me if a potential match has a limited online presence. Some is nice because it can mean they are modern, are of technology, and have some sort of virtual accountability at least superficially, but honestly it's great when people spend more time living life than documenting it.

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-04-02T09:28:59+00:00

I have an Instagram account but only use it to share my photography.

I tend to bock and delete pretty much every request I get from women on Instagram as 99% are either scammers, cam girls, crypto traders or people wanting you to buy stuff. I've little patience or tolerance for all that shit!

I tend to follow men more on Instagram as there more genuine with real hobbies and interests.

Title	You need to have a popping Instagram account to be able to date successfully as a guy
Author	RogueIslandPirate
Upvotes	36
Comments	140
Date	March 30, 2023 12:09 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1265gi5/you_need_to_have_a_popping_instagram_account_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/you-need-to-have-a-popping-instagram-account-to-be.1207478 https://theredarchive.com/post/1207478

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