Women, how would you feel if a man expected you to split rent?

eefr · 2023-05-05T08:20:24+00:00

I would feel ... nothing? I would expect we'd split the rent and other living expenses, unless there was a compelling reason not to.

Infinite_Signal90 · 2023-05-05T08:38:51+00:00

50/50 rent in a relationship is what every single person I know does. It’s so ubiquitous I am actually a little confused by the question.

87AudreyHorne · 2023-05-05T08:42:20+00:00

Who wouldn't feel completely normal about this if you're both renting??

666chihuahua · 2023-05-05T10:09:57+00:00

Literally no normal woman would expect it to be any other way than 50/50 on rent. You guys are forcing this “provider” ideology on yourselves.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-05-05T12:22:40+00:00

stop watching rap videos and reading sugar baby forums

funlightmandarin · 2023-05-05T09:13:04+00:00

Am I supposed to have feelings about this? I would expect to split rent.

dishonouronmycow · 2023-05-05T10:27:38+00:00

Unless one of you is planning on being a stay at home parent I think it’s pretty normal to expect to pay your fair share of the rent.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-05-05T08:47:53+00:00

Of course he should expect that.

The only time I haven’t paid my way was when I was a sahm what was a decision we both made

What else would we do

satisfiedmind- · 2023-05-05T10:52:16+00:00

What world are you living in? It’s standard to split the rent when cohabiting. That’s what I always did with my ex. Never even crossed my mind that he might pay my portion. I’d be surprised if there are any women here who would assume a man would pay their rent!

ffandyy · 2023-05-05T08:24:48+00:00

This is pretty much expected unless their are children

neverjumpthegate · 2023-05-05T12:12:32+00:00

You know I come into this sub and sometimes wonder if you guys have ever lived in the real world or not.

Like it's normal for people to split rent 50/50 when they move in together or to split it based on income. The majority of people aren't upset by this because they want an equal relationship.

crookedsummer2019 · 2023-05-05T10:17:48+00:00

I would be surprised if he didn’t expect it. Most adults who live together split some expenses, regardless if they are roommates or a couple.

literaryhogwartian · 2023-05-05T11:04:21+00:00

When my husband and I moved in together we both paid the rent. Why is this asked like it's a big deal?

Hi_Iamlexi · 2023-05-05T10:42:05+00:00

I don’t know any couples who don’t split rent.

orientedupward · 2023-05-05T14:09:50+00:00

How is this even a question in 2023?

anon018274031 · 2023-05-05T11:28:30+00:00

Id be confused if this wasn’t the case?

januaryphilosopher · 2023-05-05T08:38:51+00:00

That's normal and I'd be confused if he expected me not to. I'm not even sure if anyone did ask anyone else to split rent in my relationship as it was an automatic assumption, the only thing that might need to be worked out is how much.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-05-05T12:19:22+00:00

uh, that's how all my cohabitations outside of marriage have been? I've never known any couple that was different

chasingstatues · 2023-05-05T13:03:21+00:00

Where are you from that this isn't already the norm?

ivyleaguehoodrat · 2023-05-05T09:10:49+00:00

I’d be like awesome we can afford more house if we both contribute. I’d rather pay some and live in a bigger place in a nicer neighborhood than have him pay the whole thing and we can’t afford somewhere as nice.

What’s the point in partnership if you can’t combine resources and divide costs?

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-05-05T10:11:02+00:00

I would continue to feel nothing.

blueshinx · 2023-05-05T11:14:08+00:00

I mean it’s standard to split rent if both are working … not necessarily 50/50 because that depends on each partner’s income

I would feel nothing. It’s just plausible

KikiYuyu · 2023-05-05T11:15:58+00:00

I'd be surprised if he expected less than 50/50 from me. I guess I'd be surprised if he wanted more than that too.

megapuffz · 2023-05-05T11:31:37+00:00

I expect to split living expenses if I'm living with someone. I don't think it's controversial.

DiamondLilyD · 2023-05-05T12:37:52+00:00

Nah, lived with a man before, never again.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-05-05T13:10:47+00:00

I’ve been splitting rent with roommates or romantic partners since 1989 so that seems normal to me.

Novadina · 2023-05-05T16:18:32+00:00

I would have zero feelings about it, I would expect him to pay half the rent and utilities as well, that’s what people do when they rent a place together…

I’m confused about this question - what feelings are you expecting us to have exactly?

ashpr0ulx · 2023-05-05T10:23:41+00:00

i wouldn’t live with a significant other before marriage, but i think people who do should be expected to contribute.

you either live within the means of the lowest earner or the higher earner subsidizes, but both people should contribute.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2023-05-05T11:35:16+00:00

Everyone i know did 50/50 unless there was a massive income disparity. And even then they just split it proportionally. And even then if there was a massive income disparity but you were only together for a year or something most people still did 50/50 until they were serious.

yamb97 · 2023-05-05T12:18:53+00:00

I own my house and he moved in w me so I pay 100% of my mortgage. I love him, all is well.

sublimemongrel · 2023-05-05T12:35:39+00:00

This is the norm I’m guessing nearly every woman on here who has been in a LTR and cohabitated has already experienced this. It feels normal?

bigpapirick · 2023-05-05T13:07:09+00:00

Isn’t this the modern standard? I’ve never seen this be a point of contention in any real life scenario.

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-05-05T13:45:33+00:00

With the exception of my most recent relationship, I've always split 50/50 in my relationships for rent. The only reason I didn't with my latest ex was because there was such an income disparity that he wouldn't have been happy living in a place I could afford and he preferred I spend the money on my student loans.

ohdiddly · 2023-05-05T10:30:03+00:00

I would also expect that lol

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2023-05-05T11:29:31+00:00

Do women actually say no to this? How does rent get paid otherwise?

Zombombaby · 2023-05-05T12:19:55+00:00

It's literally just normal. I pay the entire rent right now and my husband handles everything else tbh.

Lolabird2112 · 2023-05-05T12:57:51+00:00

I’ve never heard of doing otherwise. Unless there’s a massive difference in incomes, 50/50 is the norm. What made you think it wasn’t? 😂

Lyvicious · 2023-05-05T13:47:32+00:00

It's just so normal to me I don't think he would even have to bring it up. I can't even remember how the conversation about rent went when we moved in; he certainly didn't have to go out of his way to let me know. We both expected to split the rent, and we do, and neither of us feels anything about it.

Sophiatab · 2023-05-05T13:59:18+00:00

Would never be an issue for me. I wouldn't live with a man I wasn't married to. I wouldn't marry a man that couldn't support me unless he intended to be my househusband while I worked full-time to support our family.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2023-05-05T14:00:14+00:00

ok? Glad we're on the same page.

Not sure why I should feel a certain way about this?

RepresentativeMark16 · 2023-05-05T14:11:06+00:00

The only reason I wouldn’t split living expenses is if I was a SAHM per a mutual agreement. I actually did that for two years but we decided that together. before I left work my income was being contributed to the rent and savings and we both had a set amount of spending money each month.

punapearebane · 2023-05-05T14:16:22+00:00

Everyone splits living expenses. Its rather a rarity if they dont. Rent is expensive. I dont know anyone who doesnt.

EulenWatcher · 2023-05-05T15:00:07+00:00

I would be surprised if he wasn't expecting me to pay my share for the rent. You have to discuss expenses and budgeting before you move in and talking about these things is expected and necessary.

My husband and I moved in really young and we both were completely inexperienced, so we just merged all finances and we were fortunate not to have to worry about rent. These days we both have "everything mine is yours" attitude so it works for us.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-05-05T09:54:32+00:00

What? Of course if two people are living together and working then bills should be split equitably.

tawny-she-wolf · 2023-05-05T10:48:57+00:00

We split rent 50/50 with my partner. We’ve agreed to split depending on income. If I end up making like a third more than him I’ll pay 75/25 and vice versa.

The only case where I would refuse to pay rent (but would split utilities) is if he is the owner and I’d essentially be paying his mortgage without being on the deed because he’s not my landlord.

Edit: there are other situations where I wouldn’t pay rent but they don’t concern me/haven’t occurred yet such as: - both agree the wife will be a stay at home parent/wife with no income and take care of literally everything that has to do with the home - loss of job (being understood efforts are made to find a new one unless medically impossible)

AnyIntroduction3288 · 2023-05-05T12:38:11+00:00

If we are married, I would expect all our money to be combined in a giant pool and we pay rent from there. So all money is shared. If we aren’t married then I would split rent but I also wouldn’t want to live with someone before marriage.

ChadChasingB · 2023-05-05T12:01:43+00:00

Extremely weird. It's my house. 😂

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-05-05T09:12:28+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-05-05T09:52:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

RedditAlt999 · 2023-05-05T18:20:37+00:00

I'm wondering what the expectation would be if I got a gf and she moved into my house. Would I expect her to split my $3000 mortgage every month? Maybe.

AutoModerator · 2023-05-05T08:09:59+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-05-05T11:16:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

One-Introduction-566 · 2023-05-05T13:55:10+00:00

Cool unless he makes way more than me and the place is expensive. If we were married it would be different because our finances would be shared

One-Introduction-566 · 2023-05-05T13:55:58+00:00

Cool unless he makes way more than me and the place is expensive. If we were married it would be different because our finances would be shared and if our finances were shared and we both were working I’d like to put all of one of the paychecks into living expenses and save the other one for retirement/down payment/etc

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-05-05T15:58:07+00:00

I wouldn't feel anything. I'd also expect to contribute to rent.

Have you seen housing costs? Most cities require 2 incomes for a very basic 2/2 apartment.

waffleznstuff30 · 2023-05-05T16:08:44+00:00

Nothing.

It's called being an adult and splitting finances

MistyMaisel · 2023-05-05T16:10:41+00:00

Nothing really? I mean, I don't intend to move in together until marriage, but even after that, unless I'm a SAHM, I expect to help with the bills. Whether that is rent or food, I'm sure we can work out one way or another. (Like, I buy all groceries, he grabs rent, etc.)

thelajestic · 2023-05-05T19:03:38+00:00

I don't know anyone who wouldn't just be expecting to split rent if they moved in with their partner. Only exception being if they're not working (and aren't independently wealthy I guess!). It's just the done thing.

Patient-Exit-3606 · 2023-05-05T21:30:22+00:00

He would not be for me. I’m meant to be a housewife, and any partner of mine is meant to be a provider.

Title	Women, how would you feel if a man expected you to split rent?
Author	AyeAyeDilaudid
Upvotes	0
Comments	149
Date	May 5, 2023 8:09 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/138evmd/women_how_would_you_feel_if_a_man_expected_you_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-how-would-you-feel-if-a-man-expected-you-to.1218009 https://theredarchive.com/post/1218009

Comments