you aren’t forced to date anyone you’re not attracted to.

2023-09-11T20:35:38+00:00

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teasingtyme · 2023-09-11T20:07:39+00:00

I think people aren't complaining about dating people, they are complaining about being lonely from what I read on here. It's that they can't date anyone, or at least they can't date people up to their unrealistic standards

sweetbrown89 · 2023-09-12T05:40:09+00:00

The pressure is definitely weird in my experience from a different angle

I’m not tall, I’m not fat, I’m not a standoffish #BossBabe, I don’t think men are “scum / trash / dusty”, I’m not complaining about men not dumping $hundreds+ on a first date, I don’t have an OF and am lucky I’ve never had to do sex work

I’m 5’3”, young, baby faced…not ugly, according to feedback, large boobs, big butt, small waist, size 6 S/M, Asian, “girly girl “ voice (it’s high pitched), I’ve gone 2-3+ years at a time without sex, no STIs, no kids, never married

I don’t ask for 6’ guys, or 6 figure incomes, I’m not into finance bros or guys who try paying for my food or buy me stuff, I buy stuff for myself what looks good and doesn’t have a label, I don’t ask for model looks

And yet men who are not even presentable try negging me en masse to “give them a chance” or attempt to pressure / shame me for choosing to be single and only looking for a hookup (with men I’m attracted to) — lots of “you’ll just end up alone forever!” as if I’m DYING to get into a relationship

It’s wild how the male equivalents (fat men, men who just want a woman for sex, men struggling financially, etc) are slamming my inbox with messages practically saying I should be begging for the opportunity to date them

I’m just saying women aren’t the only ones with unrealistic expectations

2023-09-11T20:08:39+00:00

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Busy_Ant_8160 · 2023-09-11T23:32:26+00:00

For larger women, this usually doesn’t apply, because unless you're getting catfished, it's pretty apparent. Just don't swipe on them and move on with your life. Same with single moms who are usually also forthcoming with that information.

Body counts are the exception, since most women are not going to tell you and find that question a turn off. Most aren't going to ask you, and most men just want a woman with around the same experience as them or less. If you're that concerned about it as a man, re-frame the concept as screening for incompatible/toxic traits high N count women usually have, and go from there. They usually tell on themselves anyway.

What I take issue with are the traits that arent as easily visible. Things like uber-materialism and wanting to have your gender role cake and eat it too. I've seen here before, "Why do you care super-materialistic women exist, JusT DoN'T dATe THeM!!!"

No one is forcing women to date men who love Andrew Tate either. However, the issue lies with the fact that men who love Andrew Tate are still out there dating, and may not necessarily be forthcoming with that information. I'm sure women don't like it when they're 5 dates into a guy, had sex with him, and he all of a sudden starts using weird HVM, RP, or PUA terminology. That's finite TEA (time, energy, and attention) wasted.

Zabadoodude · 2023-09-11T20:19:49+00:00

Some people are just mad that the only people that they can attract don't meet their standards.

The examples you gave are all things men complain about, but unsuccessful women do this shit too. Go over to some female dominated online spaces and there's plenty of women mad at broke men, men who don't pay for dates, men who won't commit, men who date younger women, etc. If you don't like these people just don't date them, but that's the problem: no one else wants them.

Safinated · 2023-09-11T20:39:05+00:00

Punching down is a very human instinct, especially if you’re unhappy with your situation

katyushas_boyfriend · 2023-09-11T22:46:02+00:00

Add older men to the list LMAO.

BirdMedication · 2023-09-11T23:35:53+00:00

"Forced" is kind of a meaningless term though. No one is holding anyone at gunpoint, but people do shame others for attempting to pursue people "out of their league" and not "staying in their lane." Which is where the objections understandably arise.

Often they only begrudgingly retract their judgment after the couple in question has proven them wrong first, if at all.

2023-09-11T20:32:55+00:00

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InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-09-11T22:18:21+00:00

I think the issue is that their only options are fat women and single moms and they are scared of having to settle for that.

paranorma11 · 2023-09-12T13:31:21+00:00

Really reminds me of the video Qoves made and in the video there was a TikTok of a women basically saying “ why are people mad that I’m ugly”. And when I heard that it really did make me think why others make fun of others looks for no reason. It’s as if people constantly want to put unattractive people down and “put them in their place” , even if they aren’t doing anything at all. Why can’t people be unattractive in peace

kvakerok · 2023-09-12T15:15:44+00:00

much hate directly towards these people and others in this sub

That's a clown strawman argument, labelling anything you can't handle as "hate". We're addressing the issue directly tied to morality.

High value men have morals, a personal code they live by. If you don't like a moral life you're free to go find a low value immoral man. But you don't want them, do you? Instead you want to enter a life of a moral man and not have to adhere to a moral code? What a joke.

If a high value man decides to make an exception for someone immoral, he by definition becomes less because of that person.

MaoPam · 2023-09-12T16:36:23+00:00

Bruh we're not even forced to date people we are attracted to.

H20man1 · 2023-09-13T08:45:59+00:00

no one is forcing you to date/interact with them. so what is your issue ? if seeing these people in public causes you so muh distress that you have to go online and spread anger, you have issues. so genuinely, what is the issue with these people just existing ?

Haha good one. By your choice of people being made fun of, it sounds like you're saying just men do this. Tell that to these women that go around filming and publicly shaming men when they can simply just choose not to date them as shown on this other thread.

https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16g4tcw/have_you_seen_the_ick_trend_on_tiktok_what_do_you/

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2023-09-14T08:02:23+00:00

It’s a response to the fat people, that’s, and single mothers saying that people who wouldn’t date them are trash. I mean you could say the same thing about women who talk about how they wouldn’t date men under 6ft or who don’t make a certain amount of money.

El-Carretero · 2023-09-14T08:05:37+00:00

It's not that easy when that's all men are really left with to choose from. It's hoeflation. Girls just continually get worse and worse and are determined not to have nothing left to offer when they come back down to earth and finally decide to settle down.

It used to sound too farfetched to go overseas to find a partner. Now it sounds more farfetched to try and find one here.

BobtheAxieManager · 2023-09-11T23:11:11+00:00

I don't see hate for high body counts I see men warning other men about how messed up women with high body counts are and women freaking out about it.

Greedy-Heat631 · 2023-09-12T16:44:31+00:00

The fact that words like “fat phobic” “slut shaming” exist reveals that people (read: men) ARE actually somehow bad for not wanting to be with a fat lady or a former sex worker. Sooo…. You’re wrong?

Forced? Maybe not the right word. But pressured socially… that does happen all the time.

Dull-Laugh-4037 · 2023-09-11T23:28:12+00:00

Why can't guys state their preferences or attributes they find attractive or unattractive?

Old_Speed_7861 · 2023-09-11T21:43:15+00:00

Double standards. Women say no short men and gets applauded. Men say I want a women with bigger natural breasts and he is a pervert

LoopyPro · 2023-09-11T23:20:05+00:00

Don't act like this pushback comes out of nowhere and isn't a reaction on something. Live and let live. The issue is that certain movements not just advocate for acceptance of the groups of irresponsible people you've mentioned, but demand people to celebrate them. Suddenly, their problems are everyone's problems. Some people just want to be left alone. If they are told that they are fatphobic and misogynist for their preferences, they'll just double down on their beliefs.

stats135 · 2023-09-11T20:43:04+00:00

Nothing would be an issue if we aren't forced to care about them. People are picking and choosing socialism when it benefits them and capitalism when it doesn't.

Its fine if you are a fatass, just pay for your own damn healthcare. Single mothers, you decided to fuck the convicts, you deal with taking care of his fuck trophy.

Give me back my damn tax money, and I'll have enough to get myself an escort everyday. They pay and deal with their problems, I pay for mine.

konfusedfish · 2023-09-12T02:13:31+00:00

The issue is when you are shamed for your preferences or told your preferences are bad/not valid. I have been told I am a bad person because I don’t want to date a girl with the same tonnage as a F-150. I’ve been called problematic because I don’t want to date/sleep with trans people. I have been called misogynistic and sexist for saying I don’t want baby mommas/single mothers.

The problem isn’t that people have preferences. The problem is the selective outrage at them and the animosity you get when your preferences discriminate against certain groups. Go on social media saying how you don’t like single moms and see how much vile you get for it.

AidsVictim · 2023-09-11T23:02:40+00:00

I dislike social dysfunction associated with these people since it directly impacts the quality of my life as a member of society and is often harmful or at least "less optimal" for children born into/enculturated with bad social models.

So I'm going to criticize them even if I personally am not going to date them.

SrNetworkEngineer · 2023-09-11T23:26:32+00:00

You’re right but this is also a shitty post.

TheFallenAngelWhoWas · 2023-09-12T05:01:43+00:00

what is the issue with these people just existing ?

The issue is this: there is a roughly 50/50 split between males and females in the population. Let's say that about 20% of the male population is completely undateable for one reason or another. This means that at most, only 80% of women will be able to find a romantic partner. 20% of women will either have to remain single or "settle" for those undateable men.

The more and more individuals who are undateable exist, the fewer and fewer decent romantic partners there will be available. You're going to have some pretty severe societal issues if only something like 30% or less of the population (male or female) is actually marriage material.

For instance, in a society where being overweight and extremely unhealthy becomes the norm, the harder and harder it becomes to find a decent marriage partner who isn't going to die prematurely due to obesity-related health problems.

fat people, those w high body counts, single mothers. theres no much hate directly towards these people and others in this sub

The hatred isn't exactly towards specific individuals who fall under these categories, rather, the hatred is towards how difficult it has become to find a decent marriage partner in our modern Western society. These people hate modern Western society more than anything.

if seeing these people in public causes you so muh distress that you have to go online and spread anger, you have issues.

People can hate the issue of obesity without hating specific individuals who are obese. People can hate the issue of promiscuity without hating specific individuals who are promiscuous. People can hate the issue of single moms without hating specific individuals who are single moms.

Muscletov · 2023-09-12T16:52:47+00:00

Forced? No. But shamed, especially men. Men are shamed for not dating X women all the time.

Cool_Ranch_2511 · 2023-09-11T21:31:39+00:00

These people don't just exist though. They make themselves known, often in very obnoxious ways. The response they get is well deserved. Fatties, hoes and single moms -- they're all scum of the Earth in my view based on how they represent themselves online.

Workaholiconew · 2023-09-11T20:09:45+00:00

Have... have you seriously forgotten that humans have a sex drive? Or that at least men have a significant sex drive that it is part of almost every life decision they make?

No. If men had any choice, they would just ignore all the terrible women in the market... and do like women... live happily.. but they cant. Their bodies refuse to go long term without sex.

Lol... believe me... if I could just go and refuse my sex drive... I would not interact with almost any woman.

BLKSKNHED · 2023-09-11T21:37:37+00:00

Something you mongrels don't understand is we like the le hatred rhetoric. It's fun to have to something to look down upon, This is why religions have devils and political parties have rivals and sports teams have rivals.

"stop bullying others you're not forced to date them" No thanks 😂.

piemercurygrapefruit · 2023-09-12T02:48:31+00:00

The issue "with these people just existing" is that the overall well-being of society and the dating market in general is negatively impacted by them existing.

I'm a member of society and I participate in the dating market. So their existence has a negative impact on my life, and I care. That's my issue.

SoldierExcelsior · 2023-09-12T04:31:50+00:00

It's more about the public post and comments these people make..if you put it out in public people can address it.

Like when I see dillusional dating bios or women posting ridiculous videos on tik tok.

Women attack men for everything they do but it's an issue when men speak on something women do.

shadow_nipple · 2023-09-12T06:37:46+00:00

>> what is the issue with these people just existing

because rarely can they exist in silence

that actually describes many groups of people......cant exist in silence......

they usually bitch and moan about how them being fat or single moms prevent them from finding love due to patriarchy or something. That is where the problem is

GrandBurdensomeCount · 2023-09-12T11:49:46+00:00

You're not forced to have slaves if you don't like slavery. Why are you against slave owners then?

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Extension-Inside-826 · 2023-09-12T00:22:43+00:00

Because society has raised us to believe that everything is relative. Their success = my failure

caption291 · 2023-09-12T01:06:52+00:00

Dating is a zero sum game.

Tuatara77 · 2023-09-12T03:24:31+00:00

Sometimes it's nice to vent your frustrations, that's pretty much what the internet has become no? I've read similar complaints from women but on different notes such as height, money and fitness, not as frequently do, but in the end I just don't care, some of us are nice about our opinions and some are not. Just because ten comments say that they wouldn't date single mums and two of those comments are rather rude and excessive doesn't mean that all ten comments are the same.

Germanaboo · 2023-09-12T13:25:41+00:00

This is something which applies for both genders. Altough not being attracted to someone doesn't mean you should be a dick to them as long as they are neither (small guys, single moms,...)

Zlmaoqow · 2023-09-12T15:25:01+00:00

Sloping forehead post 🤡🌍

Ohyarlysmiles · 2023-09-13T06:14:46+00:00

Dumb CMV

People complain because they believe that for what they offer, the fact that their only OPTIONS are those sucks.

I mean there's a great Tinder graph that shows the male physical attractiveness percentile and its equivalent female physical attractiveness percentile (likely to match).

The split was retarded....a man in the 70th percentile had women in less than the 20th percentile to look forward to.

So when people like you piss on about how no one forces anyone to do x or y, it's much the same as people who mentally masturbate about how no one owes anyone anything....a way to casually dismiss the reality of a situation under the guise of some cutesy principle.

Stupid, in other words.

Title	you aren’t forced to date anyone you’re not attracted to.
Author	nectarinepiss
Upvotes	135
Comments	226
Date	September 11, 2023 7:59 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16g5hgw/you_arent_forced_to_date_anyone_youre_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/you-arent-forced-to-date-anyone-youre-not.1231499 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231499

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