As a single woman, what do you hate about dating in 2023?

AngeCruelle · 2023-10-20T01:50:32+00:00

Dating while waiting until marriage in 2023 is...an experience.

Like I get that it's hard, and it's not for everyone. I'm clear about those expectations up front. I have a deep appreciation for the guys who have been sweet and understanding about it, and we part on respectful terms.

And then there's the other ones. The ones who think I'm not serious. Who think I'll warm up to the idea if they push the right buttons. The ones who are "so sick of party girls" but are also hoping to get a little party girl behavior out of you. Let's not.

hungrychick404 · 2023-10-20T03:35:42+00:00

I hate texting so much. I have trouble connecting to people off of dating apps. I can tell more easily if I have immediate chemistry with someone in real life, or build it from a friendship in rare cases, but it feels like I manually have to sift through more people via apps.

Also all of the sex pressuring and stuff others are talking about that a lot of men do. I’m not a human lie detector who can automatically tell if someone is a good person or not. Some people can be manipulative or pressuring, and it’s exhausting having to put mental energy into avoiding that all the time.

waffleznstuff30 · 2023-10-20T04:40:47+00:00

Lying about intentions to try and get laid. That shit is really the worst. There's nothing wrong if you don't want a relationship. That's fine... But be honest so someone can be aware. It just causes issues for the person getting involved and it causes a lot of hurt feelings.

The general sex obsession. It's really annoying.

The same conversations over and over. Because it didn't work because he was lying about intentions. And do it again.

AdhesivenessLevel379 · 2023-10-20T08:25:44+00:00

Not single but when I was I seemed to keep meeting guys who liked the fact I didn’t do casual sex.

Until they realised they weren’t special and I also would not have casual sex with them. One even called me “frigid” lmao.

scumbagscuba · 2023-10-20T03:50:21+00:00

Too many people. Everybody is disposable and fungible

Laurely4u · 2023-10-20T05:56:48+00:00

Cheapskating lowballing blueballers aren’t looking for anything serious, just wasting time

NothingOrAllLife · 2023-10-20T01:36:54+00:00

A lot of people suck at holding conversations.

And doing the small talk over and over again gets monotonous. For a bit I just started asking guys deep questions as openers like “tell me about something you want to do before you die” or “What’s your view on the current state of xyz” just to get a different kind of convo going.

A lot of guys don’t know how to not make things about sex.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2023-10-20T01:50:46+00:00

I’m not single anymore, but for me it was having the same convo over and over and men expecting to fuck before getting to know the bare minimum about me

Clementinequeen95 · 2023-10-20T12:22:17+00:00

Men’s obsession with sex. And lying as an attempt to get it. It’s exhausting and made me quit dating. The rampant misogyny is rough. And most men cannot hold conversations or read social ques

meangingersnap · 2023-10-20T13:18:54+00:00

Everyone both male and female, since I am bi, is fucking unhinged. other than that everything’s good.

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2023-10-20T14:07:04+00:00

It feels like a damn minefield. There are a lot of men just looking to waste both our time. There are A LOT of poly men (and yes they’re average looking men). Like an overwhelming amount, which is something I never see men on here ever account for, all the poly men are already partnered. When I was on tinder (it got off it years ago) there’s a lot of men looking to satisfy kinks and fetishes. Why would I say yes to a stranger about a shit kink, breastfeeding kink, or incest kink or to engage with BDSM? Like why are you asking to smell my shoes? Most of this is exclusive to OLD.

I genuinely don’t have the mental energy to keep filtering through men who are just looking to satisfy their own desires. It’s become so obvious that I don’t even try anymore.

ConsciousInternal287 · 2023-10-20T15:23:24+00:00

The fact that a lot of men expect sex on the first/second/third date or bring it up before I’ve even met them. If I’m going to have sex with you, I want to do it when I feel ready, not on some arbitrary schedule. I also hate it when guys pretend to want commitment to get me to sleep with them and then disappear afterwards. Which is part of the reason I prefer to wait before having sex with someone.

hannahg000 · 2023-10-20T02:30:14+00:00

too much sex obsession. talking about or thinking about having sex with someone i don’t know well makes me really uncomfortable.

this may be a little ungenerous but i feel like dating apps aren’t really a good option for women who don’t want to have sex soon into a relationship

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-10-20T01:47:39+00:00

Every time I've been single it's been about men lying to get me naked, men demanding sex before I felt comfortable, men refusing to wear condoms, men pressuring to me to have sex, men upset that I won't have sex.

Basically, it comes down to sex.

TenaciousVillain · 2023-10-20T04:36:28+00:00

The wholesome men are not accessible.

And I don’t mean married or taken or in the 1%. I mean that they are very hard to gain access to because they’re rarely, if ever, on dating apps, in bars, at gyms, etc. Those places are mainly where the toxic men are, pretending to be the good ones.

The wholesome men, the one’s who don’t hate women, who don’t look down on women, who aren’t sex driven, who don’t feel entitled to women, who don’t make excuses for being single, who don’t listen to pill bullshit or podcast bros… those men are out working. They have careers. They have families (that they came from - parents, siblings, etc. - and still actively nurture relationships with). They have homes. They have hobbies. They work on themselves. They’re in class. They’re taking care of their communities.

And don’t get me wrong, I know the girlies are like “who the hell are you talking about? Mail me one!” They’re definitely NOT plentiful either. But they are inaccessible and on purpose because they are tired of the dating shenanigans like we are. So unless you train yourself to go back into the wild and date like it’s 1996, you’re stuck with the disgruntled pieces of sh*t that frequent the apps and proclaim their “nice guy” status.

A part of me wishes we could create an app for the wholesome guy, but the thing about the toxic ones is that they’d cosplay him in a heartbeat to access us.

So now I just play dead whenever a man enters my space. I’m too exhausted to care anymore and it’s the easiest way to not be bothered. Yeah I know, it might be my guy. The odds it isn’t are in my favor. 😮‍💨

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-10-20T03:43:16+00:00

This post sums up what I hate most about gender dynamics https://www.reddit.com/r/BabyBumps/comments/17bpqq8/any_other_breadwinner_moms/

Sad_and_grossed_out · 2023-10-20T16:25:13+00:00

I haven't been single in a long time but most single women I currently know complain about men trying to turn the conversation into a sexual direction way too quickly in the early messaging stages. Which seems to be consistent with the comments here. It confuses me as to why men often use this method of getting laid when women constantly expressing that men are cockblocking themselves with this undesirable conversation method is a meme at this point. You would think more men would get the message that women who were interested in you are probably gonna be turned off if you start asking about sex not even ten minutes into the early talking phase.

I should either conclude that-

This actually does work for some women and men are successful at getting laid by bringing up sex immediately and not as many women are as repulsed by it as they claim on the internet.
It doesn't work that well but a lot of men get off on cornering women into unwanted sexual conversation or showing them their unsolicited dick pics, sort of like how men used to (or still do I guess) flash random women their dicks in parking lots and jack off on buses and that kind of stuff.

Ok_Finger_6818 · 2023-10-20T02:27:48+00:00

I think too many emotionally unavailable people are using dating apps to fill a social void in their lives, they are lonely but aren’t using other resources or looking within themselves to solve their problems.

Hence the “Flaking, lack of interest, always having to lead the interactions and conversations”

As a woman, if I have to lead the interactions and the conversations entirely by myself, I can tell he is not interested and I match his energy.

I do believe men should lead when it comes to dating, that way you know if he is interested in you or not, he should make effort but so should she, you have to work out the balance. I’m not the type of woman to make him pay for everything and give him no clue about what we should do or where to go on a date, that’s not on.

It may sound toxic but I am a big believer in “if he wanted to, he would” (minus mental health). I look at past dates/relationships/situationships and understand men better with that saying.

Not a lot of people know what they want. I want someone who can be genuinely themselves, who is playful and who matches my energy.

WillyDonDilly69 · 2023-10-20T13:11:10+00:00

I see a lot of women complaining that men are not good at conversation. From my point of view holding a conversation with a women is like this: you either know as a guy what to ask her or the conversation dies. Like women know just to respond not ask or initiate anything interesting.

StereoFood · 2023-10-20T13:55:19+00:00

What am I supposed to do when I tell women upfront I’m not looking for anything serious and they stop talking to me. Cant a guy have casual sex too? It says it on my profile.

MoreSanitizerPls · 2023-10-20T14:06:01+00:00

Definitely the games. A lot of people are willing to lie or ignore their own feelings to get what they want.

TransitionStrong5123 · 2023-10-20T20:07:42+00:00

I hate dating because of flakiness, hot and cold behaviors, lack of quality options and pouting if there is no immediate sexual activity.

I hate online dating because of too many options. Every man I like on sites is a match. Then very few reach out or respond when I message first. Those who do often immediately turn things sexual. I get it, we’re both lonely and single but I’d like more than a few hours of interaction before becoming intimate. I, unlike my friends, do not get explicit pictures or immediate sex messages with me men seem to wait until we meet.

All of that combined with how much I enjoy my single life make me prefer to not date. If I happen to find someone I will be happy, if I don’t I’m happy without it.

ETA: Also for me, I take a while to get comfortable with strangers. I often do not feel like my true self in new dating situations. Text messages make it harder because I seem to text strangers in a more professional manner than I do with friends.

Jaded_Interaction162 · 2023-10-21T00:55:09+00:00

Idk I just meet guys I like irl and decide within a month of meeting him if I want to date him. I try to play it cool like I am not as into him as I am and it seems to work well. People have less reasons to lie to their friends and if you are good at conversation it is pretty easy to get to know someone pretty well pretty quickly.

Unfortunately I tend to like guys with emotional problems, so my complaints are reserved for the actual relationships themselves. Idk why I like insane ppl so much.

LonelyLesbian007 · 2023-10-21T02:03:28+00:00

I'd have to say that women without realistic standards only wanting the perfect person and never satisfied is my biggest problem you feel like you're never good enough how can you be you don't know what you're competing against and they're made of robot mind

Electronic_West_1831 · 2023-10-20T07:33:16+00:00

Listening to women complain about dating is like listening to trust fund kids moan about their money troubles

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2023-10-20T13:08:55+00:00

I'm tired of men who want a good traditional girl but have no clue how to reciprocate that. They want someone to cook and clean for them while paying half the bills and fucking on the first date. A woman who is feminine, loving, and traditional is going to want dinner dates paid for, doors opened, bills paid for. She might ask for $50 here and there for nails/hair. If you want king treatment, I expect princess treatment. Also, men who have 950 kinks but have no idea how to make a woman orgasm in vanilla sex. Why are you playing on level 400 when you couldn't get past level 5? You're not that good, and that's okay. Stop trying to be a porn star.

Trikger · 2023-10-20T03:58:37+00:00

This one's actually tricky for me since I'm not too invested in the dating scene. I don't use dating apps, have no actual aversion to dating in general and can appreciate the nice traits that make each man unique.

When I'm single, I tend to focus more on myself than on getting back into a new relationship.

Though if I really had to name one thing about dating that I hate...

It's probably the fear that I'm not going to be good enough or that I'm embarrassing myself.

I think I'm actually quite fortunate when it comes to dating.

1974Tigermom · 2023-10-20T11:06:33+00:00

Dating men who do not take the initiative to plan and be romantic. Whatever happen to the good old fashioned ways of courting a woman?

Entire-Oil-5999 · 2023-10-20T13:14:35+00:00

Mysterious-Book5380 · 2023-10-20T09:42:40+00:00

I don't date. I don't need to, soon I will have the best of the best men out there, the kind of guys whose mere presence will leave you in ecstasy, the kind that is so far removed from the average person that they can't even conceptualize that it exists.

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Sofiwyn · 2023-10-21T10:21:28+00:00

Dating is mostly done via apps, which suck. They suck because they don't actually match you with people you're compatible with, and they suck because the vast majority of people on there are just looking for casual sex.

If you're the type of person who needs to love someone before you can have sex with them, dating apps are hell. They're just not meant for you.

I'm hoping for a friendship to romance kinda deal, but there's not much opportunity for me to become friends with people in my life. Or I guess it isn't convenient.

Saraeatonn · 2023-10-22T01:48:01+00:00

The lack of honesty or intention

As a single woman, what do you hate about dating in 2023?

Comments

mentally ill

Title	As a single woman, what do you hate about dating in 2023?
Author	Wide-Illustrator2906
Upvotes	17
Comments	382
Date	October 20, 2023 1:30 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17bzf1z/as_a_single_woman_what_do_you_hate_about_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/as-a-single-woman-what-do-you-hate-about-dating-in.1235712 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235712