When comparing men and women and their perceived gender roles in the modern day today, it seems women want to pick and choose what applies to them and wonder why people (mostly men) are frustrated.

Obviously everyone deserves to have a career, autonomy, etc, regardless of gender, but with more rights comes more responsibility. Why the hell do I see so many thinkpieces on social media that the man should still provide for two people like it’s 1960 and that the woman should be able to just save all her money for fun things or if the relationship doesn’t work out? It’s a dehumanization of men, time and time again that society only appreciates a man based on the merit of what he can provide; and it doesn’t allow us to move forward on society.

I agree there’s some lazy men that wanna use the “50-50” excuse as a way to split bills and still be not emotionally present at home and make the woman do all the housework. But in a modern society, men can do those things too. If you’re fighting for the right for your own career, and to be a “girl boss”, then taking on more responsibility is fair. Especially given it’s often easier for women to start careers nowadays when looking at college enrollment statistics, affirmative action favoring white women the most of any single demographic, etc.

Most of these women so caught up in their career don’t really have anything going for them besides that. Usually very few hobbies, superiority complex, etc. So when entering the dating scene, there’s a cognitive dissonance between why they think they’re desirable and what actually would make them so. Men don’t chase money the same way that women use career and status as their top factor when assessing men. Additionally, when your money is really the only thing you have going for you, and you still expect someone to find your lifestyle and completely ignore that one aspect, the man has no reason to choose you.

“But I make money!” Yes, but you won’t spend it. If you wanna challenge the societal norms in that way, you better also be prepared to challenge them in other ways. And as a man, I’m happy to do those things. I love cooking, I do laundry, I try to keep my space clean. But too many people would rather say “no one is good enough for me” rather than be honest with themselves about their unrealistically high expectations. Women should not be the only ones that get to take advantage of the challenging of gender roles.