A lot of liberal women struggle in dating because what they're truly attracted to and what they say they want are usually contradictory.

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-07-16T18:51:46+00:00

All the most liberal women I know, and I know some real doozies, are married or in relationships with equally liberal men who I, uh, as a conservative woman married to a conservative man, would not describe as masculine in the slightest 🤣 They're all big doughie boys or emo twinks. I'm more masculine in temperament and hobbies than them and I'm a 5 foot tall youthful extremely feminine looking gal.

The reality is, you just weren't their person. And that's ok.

Fun_Breakfast697 · 2026-07-16T18:41:42+00:00

a rugged body

It's so funny to associate this with conservatism when red states tend to have much higher obesity rates. Your average liberal man is statistically more likely to be fit than your average conservative.

middleoftheroad133 · 2026-07-16T19:22:39+00:00

Reddit doesn’t really understand who liberals are

Every major city in America is filled with liberals; the people eating in Michelin star restaurants, liberals. The guys at the equinox, liberals. Elite universities, liberals. Celebrities, liberals.

All the men I know are well educated have jobs in high finance, medicine consultanting, workout etc and are all liberals

This weird idea that liberals men arent good looking masculine men is so strange to me

I mean look at Obama versus trump for goodness sake

PositionStandard6089 · 2026-07-16T19:12:11+00:00

I just implore women to accept the fact that what they SAY they want in a man, and what they DO want in a man are usually pretty different, and that smart men like myself are just getting tired of seeing that play out.

every close friend i have is liberal and married to/dating a liberal man. some of those men are fit, some of those men are not, some of those men make lots of money, some don't.

"But I've been rejected by almost every intelligent, liberal/leftist women I've ever approached, despite checking off these intellectual boxes." all that means is they didn't want to sleep with you, not that they found your intelligence and empathy off-putting.

TankfarmMurdock · 2026-07-16T18:01:29+00:00

Maybe these women aren’t attracted to YOU, as opposed to “all liberal men in general”?

Because in any large metro area in the US, there’s no shortage of “liberal” couples.

SylvarGrl · 2026-07-16T22:07:35+00:00

“I look liberal af on paper, even though I fundamentally believe that women are incapable of knowing what they really want and should just believe whatever I tell them to believe so they will want to have sex with me.”

Cool story, bro.

miahoutx · 2026-07-16T22:56:43+00:00

Who is attracted to non-confident, lazy, ugly and selfish?

These are not conservative or liberal.

These are not desirable. In men and women.

You may or may not be those things, but empathizing with someone does not make up for being unreliable and an emotional drain.

Providing is not just a check, it’s also emotional safety, financial security it definitely is not holding your partner back because of your income.

Really the biggest issue with many liberal men is they can be just as whiny as conservative men instead of working on being a more complete and desirable person

Accomplished_Sweetie · 2026-07-16T19:01:34+00:00

“All the liberal women reject me” almost like the common dominator is you….

rando_dud · 2026-07-16T18:00:13+00:00

How is conservatism correlated with testorestone exactly ? Ideology and the physical presence of hormones has next to nothing to do with one another.

As people age they tend to get more conservative and have less testosterone for instance..

There is no link between these concepts.

FSantiam · 2026-07-16T17:55:53+00:00

Where is the contradiction? None of the qualities you're referencing are mutually exclusive.

You aren't saying, "women say they want to date someone out of shape, but then are attracted to men who are in shape."

You aren't saying, "women say they want to date someone well-educated, but actually pursue men with less education."

TrustBustin · 2026-07-16T18:21:10+00:00

Why is “confidence, a strong work ethic, and a rugged body” associated with conservatism?

You should still be oozing confidence and hitting the gym irrespective of whether you support universalized healthcare and abortion rights

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2026-07-16T18:08:45+00:00

Another day, another “it couldn’t possibly be me” post.

You’re taking “I got rejected by liberal women” and turning it into “liberal women don’t like liberal men.” Those aren’t the same thing. Plenty of liberal men date and marry liberal women, so your theory falls apart pretty quickly.

“Higher testosterone = conservative = more attractive” is a pretty big leap. The evidence doesn’t support that chain of reasoning. Attraction is influenced by a lot of factors, and political ideology isn’t determined by testosterone.

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2026-07-16T18:07:48+00:00

Are liberal women struggling? From what I have read, conservative men are struggling because liberal women won’t date them.

My husband is liberal and we have been married for 21 years

ThatBitchA · 2026-07-16T20:22:59+00:00

You checked off intellectual boxes but that's not enough.....

Weird to assume that all women struggle because you weren't selected solely based on you're "intellect".

Liberal men look and act masculine.

Again, y'all need to stop with this binary thinking. Y'all think that men can either be hot/shitty partners or ugly/best partners.

My husband is a very masculine liberal man.

RelativeYak7 · 2026-07-16T18:01:54+00:00

A man can be very liberal and very masculine. For ex have interests in computers, fixing cars, home improvement projects etc yet hold progressive beliefs and vote that way.

Expensive_Lion1807 · 2026-07-16T18:13:50+00:00

Literally the only characteristic you listed that’s actually “conservative” is the whole “providing” thing which is the least likely thing a liberal woman is looking for.

Testosterone, work ethic, body type etc. are not political 🙄

This seems like another case of ignoring the obvious first filter of “from the group of men I find physically potentially fuckable”.

C’mon, do we really need to specify that every - single - time???

So yes, if you are unattractive, “soft”, introverted, and autistic, you are going to have a harder time finding dates than someone who isn’t, regardless of your politics.

DRW0813 · 2026-07-16T18:20:58+00:00

> if intelligence and empathy were really as important as women would say, liberal and "softer" men would have more success's

I'm a chubby short liberal dude. All my friends play magic the gathering and are liberal. The chubbiest nerdy guys you've ever met.

We are all happily married.

> despite checking off these intellectual boxes

Emotionally intelligent men don't make posts that say "liberal women don't know what they want".

pie-mart · 2026-07-16T17:46:29+00:00

Oh, the old argument of "this person in this group said X" and another person in the same group says Y... so, therefore the whole group are liars/contradictory.

I think the men who talk like you approach dating as a one size should fit all. And don't understand whay that doesn't usually work

OffTheRedSand · 2026-07-16T18:14:08+00:00

whenever an openly bi man is in a relationship with a woman, it's usually the most queer feminist liberal woman you'll ever see. so some of these liberal women do practice what they preach.

now if we're talking about liberal women then it's such a big umbrella, most women are feminists and liberal but that doesn't mean they have to have a certain traits they find attractive in a man romantically.

romance is different than your views and social views and political ones.

chamomilecloud · 2026-07-16T18:37:19+00:00

I have been more conservative than any man I've dated. They have all leaned liberal, and have had no problem with provision or paying for dates, had strong work ethic, were incredibly intelligent, and were masculine.

So really this seems like a personal problem where you think women do not actually want liberal men.

Barneysparky · 2026-07-16T17:54:22+00:00

Liberal woman generally speaking have less issues within dating then conservative women. Liberal men are much more likely to be truthful about themselves and their intent. While conservative guys pretend they are "moderate" while hiding their true intent (cssual sex for me, but not for thee).

The only truth to this is if you are in a deep red state liberal men are much rarer, but even in deep red states their are liberals in urban areas.

Women generally avoid dating men who vote for pedophile rapists and want to date someone who won't throw them in jail for a miscarriage.

Minute_Criticism_844 · 2026-07-16T20:51:10+00:00

I think you’re not the only man who does this version of oh a group of woman has expressed a preference for a trait that I have. But an individual woman from this group whom I don’t know the preferences of doesn’t want to date me. Hypocrites all of them.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-07-16T22:26:52+00:00

I think you're focusing too much on liberal women when this is a much broader pattern. The gap between stated and revealed preferences isn't unique to them. Women across the political spectrum can say they value one set of traits while being more attracted to another in practice.

Liberal women may make the contradiction more noticeable because they are often more explicit about requiring progressive politics and political compatibility in a partner. That still doesn't mean the underlying issue belongs to them alone. Conservative and politically neutral women can also say they prioritize kindness, intelligence, stability, or shared values, then respond more strongly to confidence, charisma, physical attractiveness, or conventional masculinity when actual attraction enters the picture.

The real issue isn't liberal women versus conservative women. It's that what people describe as ideal partner qualities does not always match what drives their actual choices. Narrowing that pattern to liberal women makes the argument weaker because plenty of women outside that group struggle with the same divide between what sounds good in theory and what creates attraction in practice.

hdhsvagagwbwvayydi · 2026-07-17T16:29:36+00:00

Redditor realizes liberal men are pussies in real time

TinyFlamingo2147 · 2026-07-16T17:59:38+00:00

Lol, fucking what dude? A human didn't act like how another human described how a human acts. That's crazy. You've blown my mind.

How are you all so bad at recognizing that humans are individuals?

prettywords_ · 2026-07-16T18:30:07+00:00

Most of the liberal men I know are plenty masculine.

I actually prefer less masculine men though.

Novadina · 2026-07-16T20:24:42+00:00

But I've been rejected by almost every intelligent, liberal/leftist women I've ever approached, despite checking off these intellectual boxes.

Probably for another reason than the ones you listed above. I’ve rejected plenty of liberal men even though they met some of my standards because they were liberal. It’s not the ONLY standard. For example, I like to have something in common so we have things to do together. Also attraction is important, otherwise I just want to be friends.

But if intelligence and empathy were really as important as women would say, liberal and "softer" men would have more success in the dating scene.

And they DO have more success in the dating scene than conservative men!

Except the quiet part that a lot of women don't want to say out loud is that they're not ATTRACTED to liberal men because they don't look or act as masculine.

What?? That’s not true. Why would liberal men not look or act as masculine??? That has nothing to do with conservative/liberal values. My man is certainly masculine looking, he has a manly chest, is covered in body hair, has a beard. I live in a liberal area and this is not rare at all.

The types of men they're attracted to tend to be more conservative on paper.

Never seen that with a single one of my friends. They are horrified if he expresses anything like liking trump.

If you ask the average woman to be honest about what she truly values, she's going to say things like lots of confidence, a strong work ethic, a rugged body, the desire to provide, etc. And these are traits strongly associated with conservatism.

What??? No they aren’t. This is so backwards lmao. Maybe only “desire to provide” and that is not something I’ve ever seen a liberal woman desire - that is a conservative woman. Everything else doesn’t have anything to do with being liberal or conservative. In fact - statistics prove the opposite correlation for things like “a rugged body” - because red states have much fatter men than blue states. My man has a strong work ethic and a rugged body, and a desire to provide by contributing to the best of his ability, and he is not remotely conservative.

Those conservative traits tend to be associated with higher testosterone

Lmao this is so out to lunch. Please. Testosterone does not make one racist and sexist. I think you have ZERO evidence conservative men have more testosterone. It’s probably the opposite because conservatives are more likely to be obese, healthy people have better hormone balance.

I just implore women to accept the fact that what they SAY they want in a man, and what they DO want in a man are usually pretty different, and that smart men like myself are just getting tired of seeing that play out.

I lean very left, I would never date a conservative in a million years, I want intelligence, I want emotional intelligence, I also want a man with a masculine body. It’s not contradictory, you were just assuming some things were the ONLY thing women wanted.

Because if women truly think they can hold out for a man with all of those traits I mentioned earlier, in addition to being very left-leaning, it's such a small portion of men and they're all gonna be taken at the first opportunity.

No it is not rare at all, that is very strange to think that. Maybe you are in a conservative area?? Otherwise where I am most men are liberal and they come in all types!

So they can either give the less "conventionally masculine" men a real shot, or suck it up and commit to the very hot man that wants them, but I'm not gonna feel bad about a prison that's self-inflicted.

Nah. Women should move to a liberal area if they are having such an issue finding this. It’s really not hard to find a liberal man with a rugged appearance in Portland or Seattle.

Zoya_The_Destroyah · 2026-07-16T18:05:20+00:00

These things aren’t contradictory at all. You can be confident and empathetic with a strong work ethic. The idea that you can’t be masculine and liberal is crazy.

screw56 · 2026-07-16T18:08:11+00:00

First off: you do not know that the reason you were rejected is because you weren’t perceived as masculine enough, you are assuming this for the women, unfairly as well.

Secondly; If certain liberal women are engaging in cognitive dissonance and uphold patriarchal ideas where it benefits them then that’s their issue to figure out.

There’s no use in assuming just because a woman is liberal she automatically is ethically consistent.

A lot of straight liberal women are disgustingly biphobic towards bi men for example, they are not interested in deconstructing that idea.

So I personally just don’t date straight women anymore, I usually lean towards queer women who understand the stupidity of gender essentialism better.

RugzTX · 2026-07-16T19:07:49+00:00

Confidence, strong work ethic and, fitness are not conservative traits. Just because you're lacking those traits doesn't make them conservative.

Poppy_Luvv · 2026-07-16T20:04:34+00:00

I just get nervous sometimes because I'm so autistic.

Burying the lead here. Does liberal = autistic now?

You are not the barometer for what constitutes a liberal man. Liberal is not a personality type or a body type.

rosephase · 2026-07-16T17:56:24+00:00

How do these women you approach know you are intelligent and left leaning?

Have you tried making friend and community in leftist circles? Volunteer? Protests?

In order for people to know you are smart and thoughtful around politics takes time. That’s not something you can portray in a dating profile or just asking someone out.

ArtisticLime9769 · 2026-07-16T19:23:34+00:00

Simpliest debate ever.
Leftist men or right men (not maga, but they are fat - so no problem) doesn't have a lot to do with dating.
Women attracted to attractive people, cool guys, period. Everything else is a bonus, not the selling point.

TheGrolarBear · 2026-07-16T20:43:44+00:00

I don’t think liberal women are secretly attracted to conservative men based on principles or ideology. However I do think there is validity in them being attracted to behavioral characteristics of conservative men.

I consider myself staunchly liberal and had no luck with women when I was a lot younger despite living in deeply blue areas. As I grew older I adopted a more conventionally masculine mindset (not out of some concerted effort, it was just how I self-identified) and found myself becoming more attractive to the opposite sex. I know my experience is purely anecdotal but I’ve heard similar testimonials from my liberal male peers.

AmandaPea · 2026-07-16T21:10:03+00:00

Wow so many questions:

What do you mean by liberal men are "softer?" What does that look like opposed to "rugged" conservative men?

Do you think only conservative men "have a strong work ethic?"

"Conservative traits tend to be associated with higher testosterone"

Okay like which traits exactly?

Does this also assume conservative women have higher testosterone levels than liberal women ?

On which basis do you relating testosterone levels to "conventional masculinity?"

Finally, are you including leftist men and women in your definition of liberal?

TrustBustin · 2026-07-16T18:39:46+00:00

This idea that liberal men should be neutered “soy boys” is a byproduct of the Clintonite neoliberal era that shifted the Democratic Party from a working class base to a college-educated upper-middle class base.

If you want to be a leftist but are worried that women still select for rugged confident men, retvrn to tradition and become a rugged New Deal trade unionist

harmonica2 · 2026-07-16T19:11:20+00:00

I was told by my gf that I am unusually masculine for a more liberal guy but I find that strange since I too don't know what one has to do with the other.

No_Switch384 · 2026-07-16T23:00:44+00:00

no politics for your face

KayRay1994 · 2026-07-17T00:00:30+00:00

No, it isn’t that liberal men are especially struggling. It’s that you’re coming from a lens of entitlement because you frame yourself as a smart liberal. Sure, you have a lot of sentiments that say you aren’t but your final conclusion and your whole “that’s why men like me who are what liberal women want on paper struggle, I am intelligent and liberal. This means women don’t want liberal intelligent men” really reads like entitlement.

Like to put it bluntly, this reads like the exact thing I’d read from someone who calls himself a male feminist. Many liberal women do date liberal men, of you’re not getting dates maybe examine every other reason possible why you could be struggling

MCB1317 · 2026-07-17T05:23:20+00:00

A few generations of social conditioning efforts has NOTHING on tens of thousands of years of evolution.

BrightPapaya1349 · 2026-07-17T10:10:06+00:00

My boyfriend is more of a centrist on the political spectrum and he looks like a twink which is 100% what I'm into. I am not into "dad bods" aka overweight men or super muscular dudes.

I love that he looks boyish at 27, and I actually prefer more submissive/feminine men. He works in IT and loves gaming, Pokemon, DND, LOTR, Star Wars and badminton. He doesn't think watching Twilight makes him any less of a man, unlike other men. I even put some make-up on him and we did face masks once and we had fun.

soldiercross · 2026-07-17T18:38:14+00:00

Because the values you uphold and things you feel are just part of personality traits, confidence, status, warmth and obviously physical attraction are also huge parts of it. Yes a lot of modern women (and men) are looking for a unicorn. But when most women are still very attracted to physically strong and confident men.

Otjahe · 2026-07-16T18:11:52+00:00

Nothing stops you from being a very masculine liberal. Which literally is the golden standard. You get best from both worlds.

coyk0i · 2026-07-16T18:26:01+00:00

High confidence is not a "trait of conservatism" what the fuck? Everyone under every dichotomy wants someone with healthy confidence. Conservatives tend to lean arrogant & that's just insecurity but louder than the insecurity you seem to associate with Liberal "low confidence".

"Work ethic" I guess? Everyone wants to see that someone is doing something with themselves whether it's work or hobbies or projects - no one wants someone who does nothing.

Rugged body is wildly subjective but the whole "dad bod" movement makes this point moot. Woman have told you all for ages we don't care for 6 packs, we're looking for health & some even specifically seek chubbier bodies. Men want this. Y'all just don't listen.

Most people are seeking financial indepence. Some want to split, some want the man to make slightly more but no one is following some script on this These fake ass tradwives run entire influencer accounts as if that isn't a full time job. Liberal women are more likely to not care about splitting a bill & more likely to college & want the same.

Most importantly, NONE OF THESE CONTRADICT WANTING AN INTELLECTUAL OR EMPATHETIC PARTNER. You might be or think you're failing at these things & that's fine but I can tell you your problem right now is assuming women in general are liars or confused instead of genuinly self-assessing.

Anytime a man has repeated experiences & concludes it has to be everyone else he's the problem. Every. Time.

But this weird threat that we're gonna miss out when we are actively choosing not to date any of you is such a cope. We keep telling you if we can't get these things, which we can provide, we're happy with our cats. Y'all are the ones suffering.

Sheriff_Hopper · 2026-07-16T23:31:31+00:00

Yup. I see it all the time women want a guy that looks and acts like a cowboy, muscles, mustache, tattoos, does the male part of gender roles, but will also go to a pride parade with her. Sorry but those guys are about 1 in a million.

This-Register · 2026-07-17T02:04:01+00:00

What you're saying is true but liberal straight women will never admit that because most of them tend to moralizing their dating preferences.

Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-07-16T17:53:52+00:00

You've been rejected by almost every intelligent, liberal woman you've approached, and somehow your conclusion is that they're wrong about what they want rather than considering that maybe it's a you problem. Have you considered that being intelligent and empathetic aren't the only traits people evaluate? Shared hobbies, compatible values, chemistry, communication style, emotional maturity, political worldview, life goals, humor, and basic compatibility all matter.

What keeps showing up in these Red Pill posts is the same misogynistic assumption: that women don't actually understand their own attraction, and that men know women's preferences better than women do. So whenever women describe what they value, you dismiss it as "stated preferences" and substitute your own theory. That's not science—it's refusing to believe women when they tell you about their own experiences.

Relationships are complicated. People are internally contradictory because humans are complicated. Someone can value kindness and emotional intelligence while also wanting confidence or ambition. Those aren't contradictions; they're multiple traits in a single person. The world isn't simple enough to boil attraction down to testosterone and "rugged masculinity."

Stop assuming women are lying because your theory predicts they should be. Spend more time listening to what women actually say instead of treating them like unreliable narrators of their own lives. That's a much more plausible explanation than believing millions of women are collectively confused about what they want.

NotAllTheCake · 2026-07-16T23:05:06+00:00

You see a lot of stated emphasis on emotional intelligence, being vulnerable, being well-educated about the current world, caring about other people, etc

Men should be doing this regardless because it's the right thing to do, not because it might get men a few more dates.

If this is a hardship for men, might l suggest they stop dating? No woman wants a narcissist for a partner and they certainly don't want men faking the above qualities to get a date. Men are self-centered and selfish enough.

But I've been rejected by almost every intelligent, liberal/leftist women I've ever approached

So what? And?

Being a leftist does not entitle you to a relationship with other leftists (or anyone, for that matter). Leftist women aren't obligated to date you just happen to be a leftist.

But if intelligence and empathy were really as important as women would say, liberal and "softer" men would have more success in the dating scene.

Your personal experience only applies to you. Stop trying to extrapolate this to women at large.

Except the quiet part that a lot of women don't want to say out loud is that they're not ATTRACTED to liberal men because they don't look or act as masculine.

Stop telling women what they want.

The types of men they're attracted to tend to be more conservative on paper.

Stop telling women what they want.

I just implore women to accept the fact that what they SAY they want in a man, and what they DO want in a man are usually pretty different, and that smart men like myself are just getting tired of seeing that play out.

Women want men to do their household chores, duties and watch their kids. The ones they wanted so much, more than women.

"Men: Hurr durr, l don't know what women want."

We want men to do half the cooking, half the cleaning, half the childcare, half the planning vacations, birthdays, anniversaries, half the grocery shopping, half the anticipation on household needs, half the doctor's appointments, half the responsibility for school assignments and stop being so oblivious.

And not use your once-a-never chores like yard work and car care to get out of doing everything else, so you can sit another hour on the couch, doing nothing.

If women wanted to care for a manchild, they'd adopt dogs. They're much cuter, smell better and don't harass their moms for disappointing sex.

"Men: Man, women need better communication skills. Why don't they just tell us what they want?"

Men know what women want. They just don't want acknowledge it because it requires them to do some work, instead of just leaving it for the women to do, like they always do.

I know I could be a little more confident; it's probably one of the major reasons why I haven't had as much success in dating as I'd like.

Women know what they want. And they don't want you.

Lemon_gecko · 2026-07-16T17:53:29+00:00

"know there's one of a myriad of reasons someone can choose to say "No" - didn't stop you from making a conclusion.

"But if intelligence and empathy were really as important as women would say" - that doesn't mean that other things are not important. For me for example it's not enough, but still necessary.

"confidence, a strong work ethic, a rugged body, the desire to provide, etc." - i'm just confused since when liberal means not confident, without work ethic, and not strong? Okay, i do understand about providing, yes.

TopShelfSnipes · 2026-07-16T18:16:45+00:00

Most people's politics can't easily be boiled down into "conservative" and "liberal" and those who make politics their whole identity while attempting to do so often repel people from their lives, and end up in bad partnerships because someone's national politics tell very little about how they'd actually behave in a relationship or how they treat partners.

There are a lot of "politically left" people with some very backwards attitudes that leftists would call "conservatives" (including leftists themselves) when push comes to shove. Likewise, there are a lot of conservative people who actually treat their partners very well and equally, and for whom politics isn't a dealbreaker once they start discussing actual issues.

A lot of liberal women, for example, wouldn't mind being married to a lawful gun owner who preaches legal self-defense and keeps guns in the house (safely) while knowing how to use them. A lot of liberal women are pro-choice, and care that their bf/husband would be too in the case of an unwanted or nonviable pregnancy...but would actually agree with a "conservative" husband who was pro choice inasmuch as they don't want their future children sitting through "Drag Queen Story Hour" in pre-K or kindergarten, and they don't want their daughters missing out on athletic scholarships because a transgender girl who benefitted from male puberty prior to starting puberty blockers or HRT took her spot.

A lot of "conservative" men expect their partners to also work, expect to do chores alongside their partner at home, view raising children as a two-parent activity, and have healthy attitudes towards sex.

You can't actually tell what people are like from relationships, and those who adopt political stances to earn "good boy" points fundamentally signal that they'd likely be the worst partners of all.

TotalTravesty · 2026-07-16T20:20:35+00:00

> But I've been rejected by almost every intelligent, liberal/leftist women I've ever approached, despite checking off these intellectual boxes. Obviously I don't go into every approach expecting a "Yes" and know there's one of a myriad of reasons someone can choose to say "No". But if intelligence and empathy were really as important as women would say, liberal and "softer" men would have more success in the dating scene.

> Except the quiet part that a lot of women don't want to say out loud is that they're not ATTRACTED to liberal men because they don't look or act as masculine. The types of men they're attracted to tend to be more conservative on paper. If you ask the average woman to be honest about what she truly values, she's going to say things like lots of confidence, a strong work ethic, a rugged body, the desire to provide, etc. And these are traits strongly associated with conservatism.

Nah nah nah nah nah, don’t concede masculinity to conservatives because you (think you) don’t have it. This is the same “Girls don’t like smart guys they like handsome bad boys” story, with political ideology thrown in to sound more mature.

Thank you for not voting fascist, but this is a you thing just like it is for all those dudes who flock to conservative dating apps and back out as soon as they find out women don’t use them.

Intelligent-Insight · 2026-07-16T21:17:43+00:00

Except the quiet part that a lot of women don't want to say out loud is that they're not ATTRACTED to liberal men because they don't look or act as masculine

I mean, they often don't even act liberal. Like look at yourself with politics being a deal breaker instead of embracing diversity of thought and points of view (pluralism of opinions).

wouldbepandananny · 2026-07-16T23:51:43+00:00

We (liberal women) don't struggle in dating.

Conservative men struggle to date because women don't want to spend time with- or have sex with- someone who want to take their rights away.

BlackTransMaam2 · 2026-07-17T00:08:59+00:00

Every liberal women wants an "ally" aka feminist man but they basically want a super conservative man who is P-whipped into letting them do whatever they want.

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LopsidedPen9859 · 2026-07-16T18:49:30+00:00

Plenty of traditional relationships have hidden unemployed burly husbands and six figure sundress wives.

And they have to go through all that effort to cover it up.

Nobody, men included, is exempt from having to compromise on their fantasies.

Sensitive_Housing_85 · 2026-07-16T20:54:14+00:00

Traditionally masculine traits aren’t by default conservative; they’re just more likely to encourage conservative tendencies, because it's conservatives who encourage that form of masculinity. I also think there’s some confusion between liberal and progressive. The issue is that progressive women often claim you don’t need to present your masculinity in a specific way, but that doesn’t necessarily matter when it comes to attraction because attraction isn’t logical. Just because they say they’re fine with a certain presentation of masculinity doesn’t mean that’s their romantic preference, as attraction can contradict personal values. Men tend to admit this can happen, while women less often do, which is why it can confuse men who don’t present masculinity in a very macho way and are then surprised when it affects attraction. It’s not a generalization; attraction works differently for different people, but it’s not logical, so consistency shouldn’t be expected.

DMmeClownPics · 2026-07-17T03:11:21+00:00

Have you considered the possibility that they just didn’t like you?

Yes, I do want the man I’m with to have values that are close to mine, but that doesn’t mean that’s the only thing that matters to me. I also want him to have a personality that clicks with mine. I want him to be funny and silly and creative and passionate. Sexual compatibility is also incredibly important to me.

My boyfriend is not particularly masculine at all outside of his sex drive. He wears my clothes all the time and I love that. I’m super attracted to his more feminine qualities. In fact the first moment I recall feeling strong attraction to him was when I gave him my neon leopard fake fur vest to put on when we went to a gay club together and he started dancing very flamboyantly. I was like “ok, he’s pretty damn cute.”

CokeAYCE · 2026-07-17T04:11:25+00:00

How do you know you check off these intellectual and emotionally intelligent boxes? Could be the dunning Kruger effect

DesiCodeSerpent · 2026-07-17T04:22:19+00:00

I’m not sure about a lot but there might be some.

Personally, I know exactly what I want and that’s why it took me a week on the dating app to find him. Easier to eliminate and move on.

Oh, and he’s confidence and rugged. He’s very caring and that’s the kind of providing I expect. The Conservative kind of providing is what we plan to do together. It’s not a one person job. Nope that’s masculine for me.

So when we say we want a certain kind of man, we generally know what we’re talking about.

For me if guy can cry and express without fear that’s masculine. It means that he’s so confidence no BS by society can threaten his masculinity.

So basically, I don’t get your theory. Too many holes.

Cautious_Survey_9192 · 2026-07-17T05:39:13+00:00

If what you say is true, every guy from Ivy League schools would be single and women wouldn’t be attracted to them because vegetarianism/veganism is trendy, super liberal is the thing to do, and they won’t touch a blue collar job with a ten foot pole.

Hi-Road · 2026-07-17T08:16:00+00:00

"The individual men who did take on the mantle of a feminist notion of male liberation did so only to find that few women respected this shift"

YveisGrey · 2026-07-17T14:17:58+00:00

This post makes a lot of assumptions and begs and lot of questions. Like who said liberal women want “masculine” men? I know liberal women who think guys wearing nail polish is sexy snd whose celebrity crush is Harry Styles who I would mot describe as the epitome of rugged masculinity (though he is quite facially attractive). There is no one type of liberal woman to like a specific type of man. Also liberal men aren’t all the same either. Some of them are typically masculine presenting, some are more umm alternative, and some are a mix.

Weary_Hawk9463 · 2026-07-18T02:44:56+00:00

These comments prove your point. 😂

I_sort_by_new_fam · 2026-07-19T16:27:08+00:00

This reads like a r/niceguys post. I'm a soft, Bi dude, I date a lot.

AlexMhmm · 2026-07-19T22:13:23+00:00

Right wing men are attracted to left wing women and right wing men typically repulse them.

Right-Conference-437 · 2026-07-20T11:27:59+00:00

This is absolutely nonsense. It is entirely based on your perception and experienece and not reality. Get therapy ans stop being so fucking weird.

HouseOfInfinity · 2026-07-16T18:25:02+00:00

My husband is a pretty boy. His face is far from being masculine yet he always been able to get women and women still flirt and come onto him. He’s also politically progressive and liberal.

Now he does have mostly masculine traits like very confident, leadership, logical reasoning, direct, bold, watch and participate in sports etc…

I know many women that are drawn to men with softer features. However those men were always masculine in attitude. Still you were referring to looks of progressive men as if they all appeared a certain way.

AngelEyes_9 · 2026-07-16T21:43:04+00:00

Regardless of women being liberal or even progressive, they are attracted to physically attractive men with masculine traits and self-confidence.
For 95 % of women, intelligence per se is not attractive. What is attractive is being street smart enough to get money and status. Yes, smart women don't want to spend time with an imbecile but if you think they will be interested about your interpretation of Kant or Nietzsche, you're in for a rude awakening.
Very left leaning men are often not good looking. They think that women will award them for pushing their agenda and that their proclaimed progressive values can be used as a leverage. No, they don’t and the funny thing is, their actions and policies they push make them even more obsolete on the dating market. There is actually a middle ground between restoring patriarchy and policies of positive discrimination.

dogthatwonthunt · 2026-07-16T22:11:54+00:00

I mean it's almost like there are more liberal woman than liberal men so there will always be leftover liberal woman, just statistically speaking

add in that liberal woman are younger and less religious, therefore that don;t feel as strong to as a drive to find someone.

Tho considering college educated woman are twice as likely to marry than non college educated, liberal woman are much more likely to stay single long.

Logical_Thinking_ · 2026-07-19T01:39:38+00:00

Except the quiet part that a lot of women don't want to say out loud is that they're not ATTRACTED to liberal men because they don't look or act as masculine

I don't understand this take. Are you of the belief that there are no liberal men who work out or present as masculine men? If so, you are laughably incorrect.

I just implore women to accept the fact that what they SAY they want in a man, and what they DO want in a man are usually pretty different, and that smart men like myself are just getting tired of seeing that play out.

Smart men are aware that many women already say what they mean. You not accepting it or worse, not knowing whats going on, is a personal issue and we don't need you condescending to us instead of dealing with it. And I say this because of your opinion that liberal men can't be masculine and attractive. That... that doesn't even make sense.

yamom998899 · 2026-07-16T20:34:31+00:00

I’ve always wondered why white frat guys are so popular when most women say they hate conservatives? Can anyone explain

Title	A lot of liberal women struggle in dating because what they're truly attracted to and what they say they want are usually contradictory.
Author	BitchImLilBaby
Upvotes	108
Comments	345
Date	July 16, 2026 5:43 PM UTC (6 days ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1uy9u3o/a_lot_of_liberal_women_struggle_in_dating_because/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/a-lot-of-liberal-women-struggle-in-dating-because.1585185 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585185

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