This is some next level NVM bullshit. Could you imagine thinking your friends are more important than you wife in labour. Chuck him in the bin IMO.

leggomy-eggo · 2020-06-15T11:51:41+00:00

She's asking SHOULD I HAVE A CONVERSATION. I cannot. I really really cannot. Tell me again why is being alone considered worse than this?

Comicalacimoc · 2020-06-15T12:52:27+00:00

I’m sure he was cleaning a garage but men do that kind of special help for new sexual interests.

itsvkee · 2020-06-15T13:28:11+00:00

My "friend" had an affair with a man while his girlfriend was pregnant. While the gf was going into labor he stopped by her place for a quickie.

PsychologicalBeat2 · 2020-06-15T15:15:48+00:00

[deleted]

outside-perception · 2020-06-15T11:47:56+00:00

The edit just makes it worse

Tam2kids · 2020-06-15T13:51:47+00:00

My ex husband told me that he wouldn't be at the birth of our son if I had him on a certain day because that day he had a meeting at work. I told him if I go into labour no matter what day he better be there or he won't ever see the baby. Of course I went into labour that day and he was there!!!! He wasn't happy but he was there. Now that kid is 17 and him and I split 13 years ago. He was a very emotional abusive man.

IrritatedMango · 2020-06-15T11:21:47+00:00

This reminds me of this episode of One born every minute I was watching the other day. It's a great show, it puts me off having kids and it also shows what kind of person I don't want to have by my side during labour.

So there was one episode that I was watching where you had this very buff, body builder type. He was interviewed on the side and 99% of the times, pretty much every other bloke talks about what the experience of pregnancy has been like for him and the wife. Not this guy, he fully told his life story instead. To make things worse, whilst his partner was suffering during labour, the guy went to the ducking gym for a workout!!

I hope to god that girl left him and I hope the woman in the thread leaves him too. It gobsmacks me at how some men are so up themselves they're not willing to be there for an event they caused themselves.

StrawberryMoon3 · 2020-06-15T14:07:06+00:00

What the actual hell? She needs to finish this demon!

And I'll bet my pink starburst that this man was not cleaning a garage. He was probably out there cheating. This poor lady is married to a donkey. This is the type of man you need to go Genghis Khan on in the divorce court. He deserves no mercy.

He's wife is out there giving live, she could've died doing so! And this donkey decides to be absent. Finish him!!!

gcthrowaway2019 · 2020-06-15T13:50:02+00:00

Somebody call Whole Man Disposal!!

Queen_Anne_Boleyn · 2020-06-15T14:09:46+00:00

I'm a social worker. A client of mine recently had a baby and the father, a 13 year old was there. Their situation is a tragedy, but get this, this barely a teenager was more of a man than this human shaped shitshow.

ScarletFate779 · 2020-06-15T14:48:58+00:00

Oh boy do I have a horror story to tell you ladies then.

My middle sister whom I have mentioned before and is with the lowest LVM imaginable (plus a hoarder) he not only didn’t drive her there because he wouldn’t leave his dog behind?? She had to call up a relative and did it without and epidural she wanted to do it like that but by the time she regretted it you can’t apparently. He was, when he finally arrived utterly useless at comforting her and chose to read a book in the room never even going near her or offering any words of support let alone a hand to squeeze. I know this because our eldest sister friend was there and we live in different countries. He nodded off reading and when he woke up he HAD to check his dog which was still in the car. He missed the birth completely and basically doesn’t care what his daughter does, doesn’t clean up after her when they are staying with guests. He apparently pays her very little attention and her mum does everything for her yet he wants another one.

I know it doesn’t affect me directly but I’m so disgusted I don’t know how I’d talk to her again if she ever has another with such a useless waste of space.

It affects my relationship with her I guess as she will not hear an ill word about him and I can’t help but point out his hypocrisy’s. My relationship with my sister won’t ever be free from my feeling of her being defensive but I have to live with it.

2020-06-15T13:47:08+00:00

I can't wait to hear this slimeball's excuse for not having to change the baby's diaper because he doesn't want to

Bovvsette · 2020-06-15T13:30:34+00:00

Wow this is disgusting. She went through unimaginable suffering, body changes, morning sicknesses and nearly dying during labor to pass on this asshole's genes. And what was he doing in the meantime? Prioritizing spring cleaning in the friend's garage, likely in hopes to abandon said ”friend” in future labor caused by him as well. Remind me again why are we supposed to find men great and worth it at all?

Mayonegg420 · 2020-06-15T15:04:20+00:00

This is really sad. You really have to accept the fact that your husband is trash when you just gave birth to his child. She’s coming to reddit for “advice” but essentially shes just venting cause she’s not gonna leave him and there’s not much she can do but deal with it. The mental gymnastics she is about to go through.......having a child with a man who ain’t shit is my deepest fear.

VikingPug · 2020-06-15T15:52:06+00:00

She already had a conversation. Conversations don’t change feelings. It’s time for action now which is divorce.

At 42 now I’ve had every CovErsaTioN with different men about my feelings. They don’t care and they rarely change. If they change it’s a little and not for long.

purziveplaxy · 2020-06-15T15:21:49+00:00

The edit shows what she knows but doesn't want to hear.

CloacaDiddler · 2020-06-15T16:48:38+00:00

Every woman’s biggest mistake is having kids with someone who probably always was, and definitely in the future will always be, a total manchild shit head. From people that get pregnant in the first three months, to having kids while he was “finding himself” and unemployed/addicted, to just not not realizing in time that there were so many reasons not to to do that thing with that person. Honestly, if women really want kids, the far better option would be sperm donor. Don’t count on men for family, support, or maturity, only be with a man if you’re entirely independent and his impact on your life is minimal. It makes my heart sick to see every third post on reddit or listen to my coworkers about how they’re trying to deal with kids (which is hard enough) and douchebag dads on top of that. Cut the biggest dead weight out, focus on yourself and your family if you want that, but fuck just don’t include a man, this is why women’s lifespans are cut by years when they get in long term relationships. Men ain’t worth that.

Lady_Schmoobleydong · 2020-06-15T17:06:18+00:00

A friend of mine missed the birth of his child by about 30 minutes. He and his wife lived in an isolated fly in community in Northern Ontario, when a pre natal checkup showed that she had preeclampsia, she moved in with his parents in the larger city, while he stayed up and worked.

The doctor told her to take it easy, but she went Black Friday shopping and her water broke unexpectedly. He scrambled all day to get the on only flight out, he documented it on Imgur and made the front page, it generated a lot of internet interest. He was able to get on the flight, but a delay caused him to arrive late. He was very upset about it, but he never gave up to get to his wife and wouldn’t think anything of it.

OPs husband is a dope and if I were her, I’d know exactly how my husband feels about me and his family.

saffron25 · 2020-06-15T13:33:39+00:00

Honestly, please drag me if need be but when I see posts like this I struggle to feel sorry for the woman.

I said this because the signs are always there. No one does a 180. They drop hints that should give you pause. The fact that she’s asks if she should speak to him and saying no one should bring up cheating cuz it would stress her just let’s me know everything I need to know . He’s cheating and she’s a bird but doesn’t want to accept it .

He will continue to walk all over her because she will allow it. I know I sound harsh but I honestly think we as women need to stop sugar coating these things to our friends/sisters. Let’s keep it two Virgils form now on. If you don’t, this is the result.

ChoiceMarionberry8 · 2020-06-15T17:38:54+00:00

OMG. I cannot.
On the flip side, there was a post in that sub a few days ago by a new mom who, after like a whole day of labor, basically lost her mind due to pain and stress and asked her husband to leave the room. He came right back in when the baby was born, but now refuses to speak to her, won't go to counselling, won't work things out, and is filing for divorce. Because she "robbed him of his moment" or some such garbage. This poor woman is despondent, and probably can't even focus on her baby. Like yeah, that's disappointing for him, but get the fuck over it. She was beside herself with fear and pain. Now he's throwing his whole marriage away and treating her like garbage.
Why is it so hard for men not to completely suck? I don't understand.

circescircus · 2020-06-15T13:37:53+00:00

Why do women have kids with men like this? I'm sure a few do a Jekyl and Hyde, but most of them show red flags early on, like before they marry you or before you get pregnant. She'll probably have another kid with him too. Women like this only learn things the very hard way.

TVsFrankismyDad · 2020-06-15T15:23:57+00:00

How can someone be seeking advice for this shit? How can you not see "toss him to the curb" as the only possible response to something like this?

CeriseNoire · 2020-06-15T15:46:47+00:00

People really be having kids with anybody like it's not the biggest change in your life ever

bqluoeoedn · 2020-06-15T15:17:14+00:00

I had to help my friend clean the garage because I promised VS. your wife is in labor....

babyaf · 2020-06-15T19:14:02+00:00

My worst fear is marrying a man who I misjudged in thinking they will be a good partner and father. As a nursing student I saw many shitty birthing partners and only a few good ones during my OB clinical rotation. A lot of boyfriends/husbands would sleep, complain (how long is this gonna take), and had obviously done no research on birth or babies. What are some green flags during dating that indicate the man will be a good birthing partner/father?

missliberia · 2020-06-15T14:54:28+00:00

The level of neglect! I can’t even!

Lavender_flow · 2020-06-15T15:21:12+00:00

Yeah we need more of the NO VALUE people populating the earth.

I am so thankful for every woman carrying the sperm of these absolute bottom feeders. /s

So fucking sad and yeah he is fucking cheating.

jenneschguet · 2020-06-15T14:21:43+00:00

I keep seeing posts like this and pray it’s just someone really bored writing this crap. These can’t be real...

cremeblushers · 2020-06-15T16:39:47+00:00

He admitted to not wanting to see his wife birthing his child and she’s asking for help on what to do....sigh

IrateBraceFace · 2020-06-15T16:53:12+00:00

My father never raised a finger helping my mom during their marriage and was neglectful but he was there during both mine and my brothers birth. I think that is a really low bar.

fulltwistinglayout · 2020-06-15T18:08:20+00:00

Idk what’s worse, this or a twitter thread a read where all these delivery room nurses discussed getting hit on by the fathers. “We can make one just as cute” 😖 that one stuck with me. Chills.

2020-06-15T15:25:45+00:00

I feel bad that she has children with him. RUN -not walk- away,gurl.

Raccoon328 · 2020-06-15T17:55:38+00:00

I just want to point out that these red flags were most likely present prior to this situation. The guy probably prioritized other people and other things over whatever he planned or agreed to with her wayyy before the baby was even a thing. He probably never even took her on a date actually.

It’s not her fault this guy is so awful, but there was probably a lot of foreshadowing here that she ignored that could have helped her avoid this situation.

NEVER IGNORE RED FLAGS.

adertina · 2020-06-15T13:10:52+00:00

Men are even super demanding of other men, and I get attacked and called controlling bc I don’t want me or my gf to hang out with men anymore

sometingwicked · 2020-06-15T20:27:59+00:00

You guys should read through her comments. There’s something about her that just disturbs me. She claims she almost died giving birth and was terrified that she’d never see “hisface again” talking about her husband. She’s in total denial about everything. Her husband didn’t even come home to drive her to the hospital when she was in labor, she had to ask her neighbor to take her. She deleted this post when people told her they suspect he’s cheating on her and has a post still up on AITA.

She also claims she doesn’t make friends easily and doesn’t talk to her family anymore, I can guess why.

I kind of feel like everything about this situation is her own fault. I’m scared for her daughter

Tam2kids · 2020-06-15T13:52:55+00:00

I guess these things need to be discussed before having kids. Men are such jerks sometimes.

goatismycopilot · 2020-06-15T15:59:38+00:00

This woman will be posting about how exhausted she is with her newborn with a husband who does nothing.

PicklesNBacon · 2020-06-15T16:42:43+00:00

He shouldn’t have to go [to his wife giving birth] if he doesn’t want to?! WTF?!

seraphinelysion · 2020-06-15T18:34:33+00:00

If he treats her like this when she went into labor and is apathetic about his role in the birth of their child, just imagine what raising this kid will be like. He's going to be an absent father at best.

Careful-Economy · 2020-06-15T18:54:03+00:00

My first thought was another woman... cleaning a garage my ass! If ANYthing is more important than your wife and brand new little baby... kick his ass out to that other thing. I’d have said, ‘good thing that garage is clean, your stuff will be dropped there by the end of the day tomorrow!’

Trinityblue93 · 2020-06-15T13:53:39+00:00

I read her comments apparently her and the baby almost died, which adds on to the shit man that he is.

WTFseriouslyWTH · 2020-06-15T17:52:42+00:00

Can we start adding links to screenshot posts? I can’t find this post yet.

blueshores0307 · 2020-06-15T19:09:03+00:00

The only conversation needed is about divorce

littlecloudxo · 2020-06-15T21:22:57+00:00

Throw the whole man away

2020-06-15T13:48:16+00:00

LOL, too late. She already had a kid with this loser. Pathetic. He was probably watching porn, most losers like him are while their wives give birth cuz they need a distraction from the fact that they're total worthless pieces of shit.

uselesspaperclips · 2020-06-15T15:35:12+00:00

My dad missed my birth for an even worse reason, he went home to go get his slippers. The hospital was over an hour away from home. Could have asked a nurse for socks or something or even gone to a sundry store in town. If you’re wondering, no, that marriage didn’t last long.

Sunanas · 2020-06-15T16:57:01+00:00

he shouldn't have to go if he didn't want to

This really says it all.

ewoksareprettycool · 2020-06-15T18:29:59+00:00

He wasn’t cleaning the garage. We all know what he was doing. She doesn’t want to accept the reality.

somegenerichandle · 2020-06-15T18:54:21+00:00

I've read what midwives think, and men are terrible in the delivery room. Making it about themselves, asking about a husband stitch etc. It's a win he didn't go.

divination__ · 2020-06-15T20:13:02+00:00

omg all the people telling her to 'have a conversation'...you can't communicate your way into someone respecting you. i hope she leaves.

lmnsatang · 2020-06-16T02:09:47+00:00

the worst part is it's not just her life that's wasted for being with such a LVM, it's the baby's future squandered as well :(

this is why every woman should have high standards - to prevent being trapped in a life like this.

DaggerShapedHeart · 2020-06-15T13:30:47+00:00

I caught that thread fairly early on and was staggered at how many "you should have told him you wanted him there" type comments there were. It's the birth of his frigging child!!

MotherSisterDaughter · 2020-06-15T16:27:11+00:00

"HE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO GO IF HE DIDN'T WANT TO"???

What in the name of Southern Fried Fuckery is this?

platinumprimarina · 2020-06-15T17:53:31+00:00

I saw this post this morning and I was so sad for her, I just can’t with that. I hope she moves on and leaves him.

RadarFemef · 2020-06-15T21:02:03+00:00

This. is. sad.

OnMyQueenVibe · 2020-06-15T22:11:27+00:00

This man will definitely not be taking part in helping care for or raise the child, either.

janestnycrk4 · 2020-06-15T14:25:58+00:00

He shouldn't have to go if he don't want to. I heard these words about m grand fathers funeral. God I need to figure how to get out.

2020-06-15T19:08:38+00:00

A conversation won’t help anything. If someone does not have the understanding without being told that childbirth trumps cleaning a garage, they ate hopeless. Reddit has this thing that no one can read minds, communicate, blah blah but that’s just a way to have the person doubt their reality.

ardesofmiche · 2020-06-15T15:57:49+00:00

Is her husband, by chance, a high school chemistry teacher?

MotherSisterDaughter · 2020-06-15T16:25:32+00:00

Please excuse my ignorance, but what is NVM?

quirkypinkllama · 2020-06-15T21:30:36+00:00

He absolutely was cheating. Dump his ass.

valsavana · 2020-06-15T21:43:58+00:00

If nothing else (like emotionally comforting the mother of you child or being there for your baby's birth), why would he not want to be there in case there were complications and she needed him to be her medical advocate? Childbirth can still be deadly even in this day & age.

Hipster-Aurora · 2020-06-15T22:57:47+00:00

are *any* stories on RA or AITA real anymore? bad partners have always existed and always will of course but the amount of outrageous stories popping out now is ridiculous.

ChoiceMarionberry8 · 2020-06-16T13:06:11+00:00

I just saw what I think was an update to this post. She left him!

Blackishcat27 · 2020-06-17T16:16:59+00:00

I'd file for divorce.

merlinsmoon · 2020-06-15T18:49:52+00:00

A garbage man.

4BigData · 2020-06-15T19:09:07+00:00

Men suck very often and we are not their priority, they are their priority.

My father didn't even show up for his third and last son's birth. No cheating, just regular screwed up priorities.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2020-06-16T01:15:35+00:00

Oh dear. This is so sad.

Why had they not discussed her wishes prior? If you have not raised your preferences for your husband to attend the birth while you were pregnant, why not?

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