What's with PPD's obsession with sex, and not the other wonderful parts in a relationship?

Hoopy223 · 2021-07-10T18:55:32+00:00

I think a lot of them are younger or maybe they have been stuck in stale marriages for several years.

throwaway3649_ · 2021-07-10T17:04:13+00:00

To appreciate the finer things in life one must first have the coarser things in life.

midwestufohunter · 2021-07-11T01:18:36+00:00

This sub has opened my eyes about how little men value women for anything but subservience and sex. 😐

NarniaFox · 2021-07-10T14:11:51+00:00

Most people here are men and a good share of them have problems with getting sex. Plus, sex is one of the main source of validation for men in the first place. That's why they tend to concentrate only on it. Also things you're talking about are too close to being emotional and vulnerable. And a lot of men believe that they shouldn't show either their emotions or vulnerable parts to their partners.

So for a lot of users here things like partnership, companionship or love are just mere words.

FreierSteinkopf · 2021-07-10T18:08:30+00:00

Probably because things like cuddling are more equal and inoffensive while sex is a form of validation for men. This sub also focuses a lot on casual dating/sex where romance has little place. Discussions like yesterday about your favourite romance fantasies are definitely overlooked here. These topics also seem to be filled less with toxicity and more positive about our interactions with the opposite gender so I'd like to see more of them.

Dan240z · 2021-07-10T14:30:51+00:00

I wouldn't say there's an obsession for sex it's more like are dissatisfied with the choices that's in the dating pool where their male or female.

LillthOfBabylon · 2021-07-10T14:36:54+00:00

It's like it's the only thing making a relationship worthwhile here.

Because alot of here hate people and only think about what benefits them.

What I miss most is just laying in the sofa with my girlfriend,

Some guys dont know how a close non-sexual relationship is at all. Not even a close friendship.

Barneysparky · 2021-07-10T14:07:49+00:00

A lot of guys here have said they don't like the company of women.

A lot of guys here have never had the experience of mutual love.

A lot of guys here are extreme introverts who want sex, but don't like any other human much less women.

A lot of guys here believe sex is a thing that will make them happy, not a thing that people do when they are happy.

TotalTravesty · 2021-07-10T15:10:17+00:00

A relationship requires some kind of human connection and if you spend enough time here you’ll see that a lot of PPD guys don’t consider women humans. They don’t want to be around them, they don’t want to hear them, they would prefer to live in a world without them. But because their penises are calling, they’re still desperate to stick it in them.

But don’t be mistaken: it’s not because they actually seek any kind of company from women. They just want a warm wet hole and haven’t gotten to the point of considering livestock. Yet.

Honestly, I’m kinda glad things are the way they are because a lot of guys here have demonstrated that they don’t deserve any nice parts of the relationship, let alone the sex. It’s like those restaurant owners who bitch about a lack of people willing to work for them while refusing to offer a decent wage. It’s not always perfect but sometimes people find a way to give each other what they deserve.

TomorrowsWar · 2021-07-10T14:45:28+00:00

Sex is the only way emotionally stunted people connect. They don’t have depth and that’s why they can’t enjoy or look forward to other aspects of a relationship. They feel they aren’t worthy of love, or others aren’t worthy of their love, or they believe their emotional needs can’t be met by women, or they believe they feel as a man they don’t have emotional needs. It’s all really illogical and a self fulfilling prophecy based in trauma and then they like to keep that trauma and be over dramatic about it lollllll. There is so much projection.

stpaulgo · 2021-07-10T22:27:46+00:00

Most of the men here are misogynists who only see women as sexual objects. Many would be just as happy with a fleshlight that moans.

Coincidentally, the are also the men that complain the most about not getting women. They don't seem to see the correlation.

forthetinderelllas · 2021-07-10T20:29:56+00:00

the obsession with sex comes from the fact that for the majority of relationships - to get to the aspects you are describing - they start with sexual attraction

wtknight · 2021-07-10T16:42:25+00:00

It's easier for a guy to get some kind of cute friendzone relationship with a woman than to get her to agree to have him put his penis inside of her, which is why the men here tend to focus upon the latter.

4everrekt · 2021-07-10T14:47:19+00:00

For most men, sex is the thing that is most scarce, so it’s the thing that is focused on.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-07-10T15:28:07+00:00

Sex is a big part of relationships. If you don't want to have sex with your relationship partner very much, something is wrong or your libido is in the gutter.

CameronJohns88 · 2021-07-10T16:26:31+00:00

It’s easy to enjoy those parts of a relationship when you already are getting sex.

For men it’s incredibly hard to get consistent sex unless you’re a top 10% guy. Patrice o neal had a joke where it’s easier for men to find love than to find sex

Son_of_Tzu · 2021-07-10T16:49:06+00:00

Because only a minority of men are sexualised enough to feel like objects.

For a man, being objectified is (one among many) metrics of modern success. Sexy men get a very different treatment relationship wise, and more often than not the accessibility to sex can roughly translate to how physically attracted a woman is towards you.

I don't think men as a whole are ignoring the other parts, it's just that most of them (us?) didn't realise until recently how game changing physical attraction was in a relationship.

TheBestRebirth · 2021-07-10T16:50:01+00:00

I think you need to keep in mind that a significant number of men here are incels who barely have any relationship experience.

PeskyHijinks · 2021-07-10T14:36:45+00:00

Because sex is pretty much fundamentally important to most men as one of the few places where we can obtain validation and feel desired by women. It's also fundamentally important towards the very basic building blocks of a relationship, at least in our contemporary society. Plus, you tend to focus on what you don't have rather than what you do. So if you never get to have sex that will be what you focus on. And because sex is so fundamentally linked to men's own internal sense of self worth if you're getting absolutely nothing then you're going to focus on it.

goneaway2thewind · 2021-07-10T21:26:10+00:00

Non circle jerking hate again men answer here.

Many men can't have the expectation of receiving other forms of intimacy without undermining their identity of manhood. Even if they don't want to admit it, many men would appreciate the aspects you mentioned just as you did. But there is no acceptable means of conveying that without diminishing what attracts women at maximum certainty, the masculine illusion of not needing it.

The same reason why men are trained out of crying, showing vulnerability, or desiring nurturing affection. Society tells them "Man up pussy"

Historical-Agency334 · 2021-07-10T15:29:38+00:00

If you can't get sex you can't get the other stuff. A guy who can get sex form women can get a cute relationship too.

carly_rae_bopsen · 2021-07-10T19:43:32+00:00

"Because most men feel they have no right to be emotionally understood and supported" said by TheBurgerkrieg, on his How to get rid of male spaces video.

So sex is seen as the thing that will give them emotional support that I think. I think this might be an interesting perspective on the question.

2021-07-10T21:29:40+00:00

It may not be the most important part but it is the most essential part. If the sex is not adequate the relationship does not really exist at all.

skunkbear444 · 2021-07-10T22:56:31+00:00

I think it is because from men's point of view even if they have been successful they notice not a lot of women are great relationship material. I would say of attractive women of dating age I've encountered maybe 1/4 are good relationship material. The other 3/4 aren't bad people, they are too self-centered and don't seem to put much weight on the man's happiness vs their own.

Because of this most men run into single women that are too self centered which makes casual sex the path of least resistance for most men.

Men to find meaningful relations do have to put the work becoming positive parts of social communities and try to know a woman and get good sign from her before asking her out. Otherwise they need to cold approach and if there is no deeper spark in the first few dates they need to quickly move on. Doing this though takes a lot of a dedication and restraint if you haven't gotten laid in awhile in a time where getting casual sex is somewhat easy to access for a man that is willing to play the numbers game and have sex below his normal looks and personality standard.

An analogy could be for the average modern man dating meaningfully and consistently is like going on an extreme keto vegetable super health diet constantly as far as the work. Men need much much more discipline, self restraint, security in themselves, and perseverance in the face of rejection than women need in modern dating.

bxbatman1990 · 2021-07-11T13:22:13+00:00

All you did was describe more types of physical touch and sharing a hobby or two. Sex is easier to say than "physical touch" over and over again. It's covered under sex in context. As for sharing things, guys don't need women's help to enjoy their hobbies, other than sex. I can't think of anything more dreadful than turning my hobby time into our hobby time. I enjoy my hobbies and passions precisely because it's on my terms on my time and I only have to entertain myself.

ThouWontThrowaway · 2021-07-10T14:23:24+00:00

Because sex is crucial to a romantic relationship. Intimacy without sex is sexual frustration in the friend zone. Intimacy in a romantic relationship occurs only after having sex.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-07-10T17:22:13+00:00

Sex is my love language.

DXBrigade · 2021-07-10T20:12:48+00:00

It's because they are immature. They remind me of a bunch of teenagers who see sex as this Holy Grail, and believe it's the only thing worth pursuing in life.

Lucian-Salop · 2021-07-10T20:41:55+00:00

PPD is filled to the brim with bases and red pilled men who have never had sex and place their entire value as people in sex.

redditradishman · 2021-07-10T14:16:55+00:00

Sex is an actual goal that can be attained.

What you're describing inside an LTR are the kodak moments. Yes, much like playing catch with your son... there's a lot of work and stress involved in between those physical intimacy moments with a woman. Some just don't think it's worth it. If I had to choose between cuddles and no sex or sex and no cuddles... yeah I'm going for sex.

festethefoole1 · 2021-07-10T16:11:50+00:00

Nope. Again many of you women just don’t understand men and it’s honestly staggering that you can reach the age of 30 or so knowing so little about the opposite gender.

The reason sex is valued by many of these men is because their inability to attract women sexually is the crucial and fundamental hurdle that they can’t clear in order to get the companionship, love and connection upon which being sexually attractive to one another is contingent.

Most men (85%-ish) want relationship, wives, girlfriends and families.

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2021-07-10T14:50:25+00:00

It's like nutrition. All the abundance is eventually useless if you lack that one single thing you need. With the nature of the sub being about debate and complaining and the majority of users being men, it's hardly surprising it mostly revolves around that.

Scores_Man_Mund · 2021-07-10T18:29:54+00:00

I completely agree, except for the fact that any guy who has dated women will tell you that you get WAY more of the other, better stuff when she wants to fuck you. That's why they say the women's sexual desire/satisfaction is the ultimate predictor of happiness in a relationship.

If your girlfriend or wife isn't sexually attracted to you, you're probably not getting many cuddles either. You're probably not getting as much of her free time as you otherwise would be, even for nonsexual activities. Or if she spends time with you she checks her phone a lot. You're not getting as many deep conversations, but you're probably getting nagged more about chores. I could go on but you get the point

That was the "real red pill" for me. I really don't think any remotely sane person, whose mind is unpoisoned by the Internet, honestly expected marriage and LTRs to be an endless sex party. But in my youthful ignorance, I always figured that when you got to the point where sex was declining, the other aspects of friendship/romantic closeness would stay more or less the same. And that's clearly not true. Sex as an activity is one of the least important parts of a relationship to me, but pretty much all the really great parts depend on her wanting sex.

PickleLine · 2021-07-10T18:39:32+00:00

Hookups and dating are pseudo relationships. Both women and men use it as such.

If sex was just pure sex, women who keep claiming sex is boring wouldn't be hooking up so much

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-07-10T16:52:35+00:00

Because they aren't getting any or fucking corpses/women that don't wanna fuck them. 😂

antonio_aurelio · 2021-07-10T18:42:55+00:00

I like most other parts of relationships more than the sex itself (I’m actually fine with just watching porn when I’m in between relationships).

However, unfortunately, the desire of a woman to have sex with you is the best bar in which to determine how attracted she is to you.

I’m engaged. If my fiancée started to suddenly reject my sexual advances regularly, it signifies that something is not right in our relationship (maybe she’s not attracted to me anymore, maybe she’s cheating, etc.).

HardlyKaren · 2021-07-10T15:53:12+00:00

So you miss having a good friend?

I don't understand the obsession with sex either. Nor do I understand the appeal of cuddling.

That said, a close friendship with another male provides most of the benefits you mentioned, aside from the intimacy.

For men with sufficient social skills, long-term partners are easily attainable; however, finding a high-quality woman who physically desires them can be difficult. And many men aren't too keen on being a woman's protector/cuddle buddy/wallet extension in return for something they can get from a male friend.

AutoModerator · 2021-07-10T14:02:43+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

midwesternMD · 2021-07-10T14:53:05+00:00

Obviously I don’t speak for everyone, but those little moments of love and closeness you describe come easily to me when I’m dating someone. What doesn’t come easily is finding someone who I can do those things with but also have good sex with.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-07-10T16:53:28+00:00

I mean sex comes up a lot obviously it is a big part of a relationship, I think the other parts of a relationship do come up enough, this group tends to go through seems, I remember one week there was nothing but talk about Dad bods which was weird lol, but yeah that's how it goes sometimes

edwardpuppyhands · 2021-07-10T22:04:48+00:00

#WholesomeBros

Pilling_it · 2021-07-10T22:50:12+00:00

Sex can be 5% or 90% of the relationship depending how well it goes. Also people might or might not include contact and cuddling in it.

And here, well I wouldn't say most people aren't getting some often.

accrescent · 2021-07-11T00:17:57+00:00

It's women's filters for sexual attractiveness (especially in OLD) that wall men out of partnerships they'd be motivated to pursue. Just because they don't say it when they reject men does not mean it's not also their preoccupation with sex as well. Men are venting about it here.

I'd go on a dozen dates before sex, but unless I knew the woman was clearly attracted to me and expressed it physically, it'd just be another friend, of whom I already have enough.

Westener55 · 2021-07-11T00:18:53+00:00

Because getting sex is the ultimate indication of your worth as a man.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-07-11T02:09:36+00:00

As a man who has had tons of sex (and I say that in a non-bragging way)… I think I can answer that

Guys don’t know what the other great relationship is because most average dudes haven’t had the opportunity to be in a relationship that lacked that other stuff. Sex is great and a healthy part of a Relationship, but it is also not able to be looked past if you’re not used to having your fill in the first place. It’s the most obvious thing lacking in the average dudes life and he gets focused on it.

2021-07-11T03:21:45+00:00

The difference between girlfriends and girl friends is the nekkid dancing.

LMM-GT02 · 2021-07-11T03:31:25+00:00

Because sex is the proof of lusting after me like an animal.

If she is not a hoe for you, she’s regressively taxing you for head. Without sex, all that cutesy shit feels like a grand farce.

If you only did all the cute relationship stuff with no expectations of cheeks, she’ll take that to the bank.

PM_ME_STRIPPERS · 2021-07-11T04:07:11+00:00

well i dont think theres that much of a sex obsession going on around here and i mean, that can be fixed by going to the brothel ffs.

What most people here are obsessed with is what you are literally talking about in your post. Not getting attention from the opposite sex, not getting relationships, not getting companionship all of the "good things" that come from a relationship

and when men complain and vent about it, they usually either get no response, called an incel giving them stupid advice, or "you arent entitled to that!" or all of the above

i_wind · 2021-07-11T05:56:45+00:00

Because everyone here is a pervert.

moresleepy1 · 2021-07-11T07:05:05+00:00

"Sex is important, but honestly if I were forced to remove either cuddles/hugs/kisses/holding each other and that other kind of intimacy, and sex, I'm not so sure I wouldn't remove sex."

Its so hard to have discussions when people be so delusional like this. I swear PPD has the largest selection of asexuals I have ever seen or this is straight cap. If sex isnt the most important thing about a romantic relationship that doesnt involve children than what is. If you really believed that you wouldnt have an issue with poly or open relationships which most people hate. if you really believed that you wouldnt mind never or barely ever having sex with your significant other because you get so much out of the relationship outside of sex. Most of you are Delusional. I wish we could force all of you to have significant others who only had sex twice a year. lets see you bullshit your way out of that one when you cheat or leave them fuck out of here. if sex wasnt the most important thing in a relationship half you fuckers would go gay.

qunamax · 2021-07-11T09:31:37+00:00

It seems you are either very young or never had a proper sex session.

Elevatedheart · 2021-07-11T14:47:47+00:00

I think because this is mostly gen z and they don’t have life experience. I’m reading the commentary from an adult gen x perspective.

And you’ll your the type of guy women prefer. If they mock you for this post, it’s because they wish they were you!

KiddoFff · 2021-07-11T15:21:45+00:00

Lol western women (in this thread and elsewhere)

Shame men for being virgin / incel but also say men are misogynist materialist blah blah for seeking sex.
Height shame men and want fat acceptance.
Shame men about everything from dick size to wearing glasses, and then say 'wee men are so... insecure'.

In many of eastern societies, virgin shaming and 'fucking from age 15' doesn't exist. Where even desirable young men do not necessarily chase sex.

Retrojazzer17 · 2021-07-11T15:43:10+00:00

So as a 20 year old male I realized that trying to talk to a woman, and get to know her requires emotional vulnerability, to be able to share my feelings, and be able to connect to hers. Doing so resulted in them losing interests in me, and/or me becoming another simp for them. This made me realize that wanting to love a woman for her personality and wanting to be able to emotionally connect with her is not the way. I started a more idgaf attitude towards women and people in general and find a lot more success socially than when I was a people pleasing simp.

I'm still adjusting to the fact that being a disrespectful pos is making me more liked than when I was the opposite, but to put it simply, women don't like men who are emotionally vulnerable which defeats the purpose of love, so sex is pretty much all they can offer.

Allblackallamerican · 2021-07-11T16:15:38+00:00

Because in this day and age, sex is the only real way for a man to be able to conclude that a woman likes him.

Women around this app will argue that it’s not, but the overwhelming majority of men feel that it’s better to be fucked than to be told to fuck off.

Nowadays, women don’t have the pressure to lay in bed with the first man with a good job who shows them interest. Women are free to have their own shit, all of their own shit, as in a house, a car, a living wage, and then the night falls she’ll be over in the projects fucking some 25 year old handsome loser w/ no ambition who still lives with his mother and has no plans to change that.

Women — young urban women anyways — are having more casual sex than ever, going on less dates than ever, and blossoming more exclusive relationships out of their FWB situations than ever. So, that makes sex is the predominant way for a man to be sure that a woman he’s invested in is invested in him too. If she isn’t throwing it at you, good chance she just not feeling you.

moresleepy1 · 2021-07-12T02:56:48+00:00

Yeah im calling bs on your post unless your ACE. I have been in relationships with women whom you have alot of emotional and some physical intimacy without sex it breeds resentment. it builds you up to the point where your constantly frustrated and upset that you cant experience sex with the person you love.

bionix90 · 2021-07-12T23:07:10+00:00

Marie Antoinette: What's with the starving masses' obsession with bread?

zerofeetpersecond · 2021-07-13T16:24:31+00:00

Only a small percentage of men get sex. That is like saying what is the obsession with trying to make 100k?

idontcomehereoftenso · 2021-07-14T02:41:24+00:00

This is it guys....the most wholesome post on this subreddit lol.

TrueCenterRealist · 2021-07-10T15:00:26+00:00

Sex is 100% of the reason I tolerate being around women.

DerekMorganBAU · 2021-07-10T16:19:08+00:00

Wonderful parts??? 🤣

Getting a man's leftovers that he fucked and threw away that you're paying full price for and have to salvage her emotional trauma???

No thank you

TheSunshineMan · 2021-07-10T14:03:50+00:00

Everyone has different priorities.

Try_Reasonable · 2021-07-10T14:39:01+00:00

Because they can't even get to the sex part, let alone the relationship part. I assume they can't even get their foot in the door so maybe they haven't experienced the other aspects

superlurkage · 2021-07-10T19:36:53+00:00

The obsession with sex reflects the disdain for companionship and human interaction

Philip8000 · 2021-07-10T21:32:38+00:00

Sadly, whether you behave like a prick who only cares about a hole to stick it inside, or a lonely man who's looking for love, the response tends to be the same. Experiencing such viciousness can make you bitter.

For me, while I'm not one to say "no sex before marriage", I don't think it's a step to be made lightly. Funny thing, I've got more romantic fantasies than sexual ones. Sex is nice to have, but without some kind of emotional attachment, it's hollow.

bxbatman1990 · 2021-07-11T13:37:49+00:00

Men aren't obsessed with sex, they simply value it. It's women who have increasingly adopted a prostitute mentality towards sex where it's just a bargaining chip.

Title	What's with PPD's obsession with sex, and not the other wonderful parts in a relationship?
Author	WhoAmIEven2
Upvotes	47
Comments	259
Date	July 10, 2021 2:02 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ohj98y/whats_with_ppds_obsession_with_sex_and_not_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-with-ppds-obsession-with-sex-and-not-the.790561 https://theredarchive.com/post/790561

Comments