How would you ever be able to trust him again? Disgusting.

MadamLeFay · 2021-05-29T17:44:29+00:00

"...he has never done anything to make me doubt him..."
Because this is the first time he's been caught. If she or her sister never found out, she'd still be convinced she had no reason to doubt him.

fireforestfairy · 2021-05-29T17:48:11+00:00

Dafuq did I just read.

SolunaJune · 2021-05-29T18:45:39+00:00

He's not upset at what he did, he's upset he got caught. Dumbass probably forgot you can track that shit.

The fact he looked for and found nudes in a hidden folder on her phone and sent them...is so deeply troubling. He actually went looking for risque pictures and sent them for later repeat viewing.

How she can't feel the drain of self-esteem knowing her husband desires her sister over herself... I just couldn't deal. Divorce.

sleepysiri · 2021-05-29T19:10:29+00:00

My sister‘a husband sent me three pages worth of creepy, disgusting text messages. I was in college using their place as accommodation. Needless to say, I had to leave. Now, I can no longer visit or stay, or see her children there, or see her in her own home.

They went to marriage counselling for some sessions. The counsellor took his side and convinced her of his own excuses, that he didn’t mean anything weird, that his mind wasn’t clear because he had stress, that he was being misunderstood completely.

He essentially cheated on her or broke some boundary by expressing sexual attraction, actually he dared to say it was his “fantasy” and “true love.”

Not only did I feel betrayed by her staying with him (she has a child with him but is earning amazing money), I also felt bad for her that she was given this rationalised garbage reason to stay.

When she found out, I told her and showed her the messages, she broke down and wanted to leave him and die. Now, she’s still convincing herself of his excuses but I know that nothing is the same and it really fucked up their and our relationships.

Summoning-Freaks · 2021-05-29T18:02:03+00:00

If OP doesn’t divorce him her sister will never again be the person OP could always turn to.

This is a hill to die on.

It’s absolutely going to lead to an ultimatum between her depraved husband or her sister (& possibly her entire family).

ETA I know I should feel some level of pity for OP, but just the fact that she’s confused about what to do infuriates me. She should leave this man even more because she has a child, not despite of. That man is a sexual predator and the child, their friends and future partners would never be safe from the husband.

Mella_20 · 2021-05-29T19:10:49+00:00

Sometimes, I feel sad that I'm single. Then I go on reddit, and I'm not sad anymore 😒

What is this? She better not stay in a relationship with him. Not for the kid and not for the sake of "love". A man who is that depraved wouldn't be a good father anyway.

shinyjewels · 2021-05-29T17:41:51+00:00

I saw this post and was so shocked that I sent it to my friend. The dude is a HUGE misogynist who respects no one but his dick. He's deranged and depraved, and there are still people in the comments defending him. I can't.

judithyourholofernes · 2021-05-29T18:10:27+00:00

“Deleted” them means sent them to all his friends so he could save them somewhere else later. She’ll probably waste more of her years on this guy. Women don’t want to believe.

yourstorywillgoon · 2021-05-29T21:25:11+00:00

My cousin caught her husband sending innapropriate sexual texts to her sister. She forgave him because he promised it would never happen again.

Five years later, they were visiting the family and he was caught crawling into the bathroom on all fours while the sister was in the shower. My cousin moved out for a while, but he blamed it on the stress of having a sick child and she eventually took him back.

Seven years later, she caught him watching porn on their daughter's iPad. The topic? "Man bangs wife's naughty sister". They got divorced.

miphasgraceful · 2021-05-29T18:09:19+00:00

Great job, you disgusting POS. Ruining 2 marriages in one go. Another disgusting plea of, “muh penis!”

I hope she listens to her gut and divorces him.

lunarfulminate · 2021-05-29T18:26:30+00:00

Look at all the excuses (lies) he has once he gets panicky about getting caught, likely because he did something with the pictures he couldn't undo. It was JuST a JOke, bad reception, immediately regretted it and deleted them...

What's likely closer to the truth: a porn addict who's been perving on his wife's sister takes the first chance given to him to steal jerking material from her, sends it to himself (and likely other friends) for later use, he jerks off and immediately the shame for what he did crashes down on him, but he's made up a sympathetic-sounding story to control the narrative with his wife before it leaks out to her from anyone else who gets the photos.

Everyone I know considers smartphones and computers personal, like a bedroom, and would either never violate the privacy or wouldn't consider "I was just searching through it for fun" an acceptable thing to do.

RainbowOfKirby · 2021-05-29T18:57:54+00:00

Throw him back into the garbage where he belongs. There’s no reason for any man to go into a woman’s phone and send himself her nudes. That’s a gross breach of trust and there’s no coming back from something like this.

This guy is a waste of space. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Crafty_Collar8183 · 2021-05-29T19:40:17+00:00

Never take nudes. Guys take their chances and snoop at girls' devices any chance they get. LVW and pickmeishas as well because they have to one up you always.

Guilty_Assignment · 2021-05-29T19:09:39+00:00

I hope the sister presses charges on him regardless of if OP decides to pull her head out of her ass or not

LadieLemon · 2021-05-29T19:37:30+00:00

Her indecision and so-called confusion infuriates me.

You're telling me you DoN't KnOw WhAt To Do after your husband sexually abused your sister?!

Get the fuck outta here.

I'd hate to have a spineless, sex offender-enabling, piece of shit sister like that.

No-Explanation-4570 · 2021-05-29T18:23:11+00:00

D I V O R C E . . . Freedom!!!!!!

9hazle · 2021-05-29T21:08:12+00:00

"he has never done anything to make him doubt him" looool he DID THIS. You don't have to give them three strikes. It's actually worse that she never doubted him before, it means he's very good at hiding and that she doesn't even know what he's capable of. How the hell could someone do something like this without feeling disgusting and pathetic? Yuck 🤮

DrildoBagurren · 2021-05-29T18:00:25+00:00

Aw... Why... ? This woman has no self-respect and clearly that extends to her own sister. I can't imagine even being able to look at someone who violated my sister without her knowledge like that ...and his excuse is pathetic.

straightouttashtetl · 2021-05-29T18:06:38+00:00

If he allegedly deleted them as soon as he received them, HOW would she know about it? He probably put them in his Google drive or something

arnezuara · 2021-05-29T17:43:40+00:00

She should know better than to stay with him. He’s clearly a predator and a manipulator. He’ll turn abusive towards her in no time.

blessedwiththree · 2021-05-29T18:17:35+00:00

There is only one option in this circumstance- DIVORCE! He did this, so what else is he doing/has he done? I guarantee he is porn sick and who the hell knows what else. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. I hope she gets out quickly.

staywiththecrown · 2021-05-29T18:59:02+00:00

I'd be so disgusted if that were my me. I wouldn't choose some pornsick scrote over a sister that I have known my whole life.

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-05-29T21:48:35+00:00

What did he want to do with the photos anyway. Is she really okay with her husband jerking off to her sister?

9hazle · 2021-05-29T22:09:43+00:00

"my sister and him are always making fun of each other pictures"

He was looking for jerk off material all along

BlueSkiesOverLondon · 2021-05-29T19:35:04+00:00

This dude is just sorry he got caught.

eveloe · 2021-05-29T20:53:35+00:00

How is she torn?! I would never pick anyone else above my sister so this is enraging omg

Novemberinthechair · 2021-05-29T20:33:38+00:00

She loves him "so damn" much?

Why?!?

CovertGiraffeHut · 2021-05-29T19:01:37+00:00

I couldn't even look at him 🤮

MilkMadeMe · 2021-05-29T21:22:30+00:00

Beyond rank. I would literally lay down my life for my sisters. Anyone who tries to shit on that bond is dead to me.

Don’t even get me started about men fantasizing about fucking twin sisters.

rednopal · 2021-05-29T18:17:46+00:00

This just highlights how fragile we can be, how much damage and parasitism we can endure. Her husband has certainly shown other signs, but she doesn’t know those were signs. It’s scary how many of us love sociopaths and are totally oblivious to that.

restlessGal · 2021-05-29T18:18:05+00:00

I cannot believe there have been no signs prior to this. OP being blind to them that I can believe

europoor24 · 2021-05-29T18:23:50+00:00

kick him out, he won't change.

Conclusion-Waste · 2021-05-29T22:38:49+00:00

What this scrote did is considered to be a sex crime by the FBI. I don't even fathom how this is something she doesn't know what to do about. Leave his nasty ass and don't give him the opportunity to do anything else!!

catlady4u · 2021-05-29T21:07:05+00:00

He regretted doing it because he realized he was gonna be found out anyway. Not because he realized he did a bad thing. Scrotes tell on themselves all the time.

oreooreooreos · 2021-05-29T22:03:11+00:00

EW EW EW EW EW

what does she mean by she doesn’t know what to do?? that man is disgusting like EW

OP couldn’t care less about her sister if she actually forgives a sorry excuse for a human being

vanillahcupcakes · 2021-05-30T01:55:07+00:00

Every single post on relationships subs is about a woman being abused or treated like shit by her husband/boyfriend. More than half have predatory age gaps. It's so fucking bleak.

millrice · 2021-05-30T03:40:54+00:00

HE looked deeper enough in his wife's sister's phone for a HIDDEN FOLDER only because he was looking for something private which would be kept there and HE DIDNT STOP THERE

TERFSareawesome · 2021-05-29T20:50:24+00:00

I couldn't count the number of times I have seen women pose questions on reddit or other sites like "What do you fantasize about?" to men (usually pickmes hoping for some super romantic answer) and get back "My wife's sister" or "my girlfriend's best friend". They LOVE to talk about it, love to give gory details about just how they would have sex with the sister and in what position. It's pretty sick. Low value scrotes do this stuff all the time, it's like a compulsion. So this doesn't surprise me a bit, just that the usual reddit scrotes will act all disapproving in the comment section rather than defending it as a "natural urge" like they usually do

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2021-05-29T22:01:53+00:00

D I V O R C E

basuragoddess · 2021-05-30T01:06:11+00:00

Absolutely fucking reprehensible. I would chop his you-know-what off if this were my man. Also, like others have said, this is only the first time he’s been caught. No respectable man would 1) be looking in his wife’s sister’s hidden photos or 2) decide they should be in his possession. What a fucking lowlife.

ketodietclub · 2021-05-29T22:11:09+00:00

"he has never done anything to make me doubt him"

This is the first time he's been caught.

Go back through your time with him and look at all the odd things that didn't mean anything in isolation, but make a pattern.

Phone always running out of charge when he's "out with the guys". You call the guys, and they have him call you back because "he's in the bathroom".

Taking the phone out of room with him as a habit?

Funny about letting you see his credit card bills?

So many little things.

Also this guy committed a sex offence again your sister you stupid woman. He's a lowlife.

LonelyWineAunt · 2021-05-29T17:59:57+00:00

Divorce is the only option.

camille_san · 2021-05-30T03:03:58+00:00

DUMPIZASS

Lazy-Tax3986 · 2021-05-30T04:02:57+00:00

This woman is posting this vile story of her vile disgusting low life husband knowing damn well what she needs to do - leave, and something tells me in two years we'll see another screenshot post from her describing another story about her deranged husband. I hope she can see the light and leave, but it looks like from the "bUt I lOvE hIm" language, she wants people to tell her everything is alright. -sigh-

no_tak · 2021-05-29T20:08:01+00:00

I normally don't like when people say "family first" but in this case it's so important. Not only can she not trust him but since she says her sister and her are close the sister now has to stay in contact with a man who violated her privacy and trust if she wants to keep seeing her own close family. To a certain degree I understand that OP is torn and I guess everyone can just hope that something like that would shake them love-sober and open their eyes. Also the poor children. This is one of their "role models"

laffytaggy · 2021-05-30T02:11:16+00:00

Ew. How did he get caught?

M0nochromeRainbow · 2021-05-29T21:40:41+00:00

He’s only sorry because he got caught. His “excuse” doesn’t even make sense. Trying to somehow shift the blame and feign remorse.

M1nette · 2021-05-30T12:46:43+00:00

Wow that doesn't even surprise me anymore. If guys could, they would make their whole world their harem. I am more surprised and suspicious if i hear of a faithful man, deceitfulness seems to be the standard.

ivy176 · 2021-05-30T09:16:42+00:00

Nnnnnnnnope

Khentiamentiu42 · 2021-05-30T09:37:52+00:00

She should get the police involved

xdecadent · 2021-05-30T11:16:15+00:00

This is her SISTER. Wtf!! If she doesn’t take her sisters side and leave that creep ass husband of hers... she will regret losing her sister over this.

Hmtnsw · 2021-05-30T03:55:16+00:00

First thing that came to mind was why did she not have a pass code or something on her hidden folder? Or like, make it not an obvious thing like "the dog's name" or a birth date.

And like what a fucking creep.

I hope she throws him in a dumpster fire.

merlinsmoon · 2021-05-31T02:52:46+00:00

This is so damn sad. Honestly no choice but to leave him.

heleninthealps · 2021-05-31T19:23:20+00:00

This should also go under "Nah sis". Never take nudes, period.

Title	How would you ever be able to trust him again? Disgusting.
Author	shugs87
Upvotes	782
Comments	103
Date	May 29, 2021 5:37 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nnsd01/how_would_you_ever_be_able_to_trust_him_again/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-would-you-ever-be-able-to-trust-him-again.774510 https://theredarchive.com/post/774510

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